Is 3 weeks NC way to soon to give up hope?

[bigblueeyes1]

Sorry, another NC question. My ex broke up with me 3 months ago (some of you know my story, sorry for asking lots of questions). The longest we went during that time with NC was 3 weeks, then I broke it. He has told me a week and a half ago that he is happier without me. That he has moved on and that I should move on without him. He said we will never be together again.

So, since that conversation, I've gone back to NC. It's been 1 week, 3 days. I know NC is to help you move on, but it can also help get your ex back. I've been noticing a lot of people posting questions that they went 2-6 months no contact before their ex contacted them.

so the question is...since I do hope my ex will one day realize he made a mistake and come back to me, should I at least give it a few months before losing ALL hope? Any suggestions, advice, stories, examples would be helpful. Or just a yes or no will suffice :) Thanks

[precious144]

Definitely not, 3 weeks is nothing. People get in touch after 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, even 3 years, it's always different so it's hard to say when and whether your ex will get back in touch. It does happen, I've seen it in quite a few cases where exes get in touch months, even years later, but you shouldn't hold on to that. It may happen, it may not but keep up with the NC because it will help you feel better every day :)

I think if you stick to NC, you will eventually think he won't come back yourself. Keep telling yourself that he wont, and that you don't care if he does. That way, you won't be disappointed either way. I don't mean to seem negative, but it's just from experience. I dated a guy for 8 months and he broke up with me, for at least 4 months I kept thinking he would come back, and when I eventually thought there was no chance, he came back begging. It's true when they say if they are going to come back, they only come back when you have moved on. Right now you have to think about yourself and fixing your broken heart.

[precious144]

P.S. when my ex DID come back, I wasn't interested. Which is also the case with a lot of people.

[bigblueeyes1]

i ABSOLUTELY agree! My fear is that he will come back the minute I feel good about myself again. And I worry that it will bring me back to square 1. I already am thinking he isn't coming back. I'm 99.9% sure. I guess the "hope" I'm referring to is more like a question. Like "i wonder if he will call?" I'm definitely planning on sticking with NC and hoping it works(either he comes back or I move on). It has been 3 months since the break up. But like I said...only a week and a half since our last talk

[precious144]

yea, it's how some people function. he's used to you still contacting him and what not therefore it won't have hit him properly yet. it didn't even take my recent ex a week to contact me after NC, but yet again everyone is different and we were used to speaking every day. if he does come back once you feel good again, look back at your posts and see how upset he made you, that will convince you to stay away from him, even better write a diary, that's what I do so I will remember the bad things.

[bigblueeyes1]

i have thought about doing the journal/diary thing. And that's really a good tip if he does contact me, to look at all the posts. Like you said, everyone is different. And he HAS always come back after he "made it clear" it was over. Its different this time because of how long its been and all the mean things he said. he never said those before. but, again. thank you so very much for your post and for not just saying "time to move on".

[precious144]

i know, it annoys me when people just say "move on" that isn't advice and it's not that easy either. he may one day realize that he made a mistake, but by then I hope it's too late and you kick him to the curb. he doesn't deserve you if he's said bad things to you. looking back at your posts is a great idea because it's a way to remember how you felt at the time and how you NEVER want to feel like that again.

[BirdofParadise]

Well the whole reason NC works at getting an ex back, is because the ex starts to think that you are moving on. And it actually helps to focus on moving on so if he's really not interested you are still making progress, and if he does contact you and wants another chance you can see your relationship more clearly and decide if that is really a good idea.

[Reallywhyme]

yeah I think you should that's why I'm doing its been almost two weeks and you was right he didn't have minutes but I'm giving him to this month to contact and say and thing I don't wanna move on but in our case if there is still nothing said from the men we love what real choice do we have but try to be strong cause I am and its hard

[bigblueeyes1]

thanks. I'm glad to hear that he didn't change his number. and your right, we have no choice but to move on. I am still living my life and going out. But, like you alraedy know, I have that hope in the back of my mind even though he said all that stuff.

[Reallywhyme]

you say a lot out of argue but you should know that his heart is probably still hurting from yal relationship so just sit back and relax like you told me and I'm pray you get your happy ending cause I see you really love him and it be great for you to be happy cause you helped me a lot and if he don't realize how cool you are he a fool

[bigblueeyes1]

Aww thank you so much! I'm glad I was able to help you. And I'm glad that you agree I should keep hope. I know that it seems hopeless to some people. And it may be. But I'm not ready to lose all hope. I truly hope you get your happily ever after as well!

[Reallywhyme]

thanks but I'm in heavy doubt he won't even talk to me

[martyfellow]

No, under these circumstances, it's time to move on. Sure he might contact you later, but there's no reason to count on that.