It wasn't the bad-bad kind it was dull kind of bad. You know he/she is the shy kind, you find him/her attractive. Would you give it a second shot? Would you give a bad first date a second chance?
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+1 y
PS i was the one who made the date dull by the way. He’s amazing, and funny but i always need time to show my “fun side” lol i need more than one date.. but he probably ain't gonna give me one anymore. I dont blame him. Thanks for y'all answers.
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+1 y
OK um he unexpectedly messaged me today. He didn't ask for a second date or anything, we just talked about stuff. Should i ask him out? Im thinking yes because i really want to make it up to him.
Fun yet simple second date ideas please? Im bad at this (obviously) so thanks a lot for those who would still help an anon out.
I would give him a second chance but I wouldn't have high expectations. I've talked to a shy guy before. We used to Skype each other and he always was the one who wanted to Skype. I didn't like skyping because he was so shy that I was the only one talking. It was like prying teeth trying to get him to talk. I mean that's the whole point to Skype someone not like begging someone to Skype you and then just stare at them and make it awkward while they try to talk and try to make the Skype session less boring and just overall not weird lol when you like someone... you just deal with it. Looking back on that, it was really annoying how hard it was for him to talk to me.
First Dates often very awkward. I would go on the second date pick a different situation and consider the fact that he has been texting you a little bit to be a good sign that he's still interested. Everyone deserves a second chance, a second day. And often when there's enough attraction people seem to find a way. Good luck! And if it doesn't quite work out then at least you got some good dating practice.
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Asker
+1 y
Thanks.. do you think i should ask him out or just wait for him to?
I think what you're failing to realize is that he was probably so busy being nervous and worrying about his own behavior that he probably wasn't even judging you for yours. And the fact that he messaged you, he's obviously thinking about you. He's probably feeling you out to see if you want a second date. I told you first dates are nerve racking for most people. Just see if he wants to go out again and have a good time and try and be yourself. Never be fake. Just makes things harder later. Good luck!
Eh... it depends. Not so much on how attractive they are but how hard did they try to impress me on the date and how much he captured my attention. A guy can be handsome, but if he personality is boring, he's not worth a second chance.
But if he's just shy, an introverted, or it was just a bad date/timing, I might give him another chance if he did try. However, I'd probably ask to text/chat with him more before the next date to see if he opens up or shows any interest. If he seems interested, I will give him another chance. If not, or things seem dull even via text or over the phone? Nope. It might just be a bad connection; it happens.
Exactly! And I don't think people consider that. I've been with guys that are chatty on the phone, text, or mic. But in person? Shy.
It happens until they warm up to you- heck I'm that way around certain people! But people can misread that as disinterest or being rude, which on a first date, makes things worse, lol.
But I try to give people the benefit of the doubt depending on the circumstance.
Yes, I am totally that kind of person. Quite confident over text and phone but in person I'm more shy and timid at first. Takes a couple of dates for me to open up fully 😅
No. There is a reason for a date. To find out if you are compatible as LOVERS. All the reason why I don't believe in dating strangers because now your focus on how nice they are, how sweet they can be, and how handsome/cute you consider them. Dates go bad because people don't know WHAT they are looking for in a person long-term. They have these ideals that are not realistic in real life. This is why I always make it clear that I do not date anybody who isn't my friend. Either your looking for something serious, or your just looking fun and games. For me I don't want a person who I don't already know. Leaves a lot of ackwardness out of the way and you know your not dating red flags.
The update to gave is positive. We don't know if he finds u boring as he hasn't said it only u have... But my point is he likes talking to u as he contacted u which is great.
From it sounds like I think there will b a 2nd date... who ever asks whoever first.
For ideas I would say do something with common interests.
But I don't know what either of u think specially him.
But here are a few things I like (as I'm a guy). Go carting , I love scavenger hunts as they challenge thought and you learn a lot about each other,
This is why a lot of people fail at dating. Many of you only go by the first date... if even that. I've had women I've been on first dates with leave within the first 10 minutes because they didn't feel a connection.
Lol. Before anyone says, "you must be a shitty guy"... I have a girlfriend now and everyone is different. Lol. Anyway... back to the point.
First dates suck, because they are awkward. Many people use dating apps to date these days, so it ramps the pressure up even more because you are initial meeting for the first time.
After getting to know a person, things can get better. In fact, a lot of dating coaches say that you should go on 2 dates with the same person, because the 1st date is almost like the "practice phase" where you feel each other out. The 2nd date is the "real thing" where you are used to each other, so you can better gauge whether or not you are a match.
I consider a first date bad when I spot red flags. Usually I'm not shy on first dates, because we both know why we are there. So better throw shame to the wind and say everything the other should know. If the girl is shy or the conversation gets dull, I just comment on how the date is going. This brings the conversation to an higher level and usually removes stress.
If the guy texted afterwards and was like, look, I was super nervous or had something else going on and they recognize that the date was awful and asked to try again, I would definitely give him a second chance, but I wouldn't for those that had no awareness that the first date was awful or worse thought the date went great.
it depends but I think that over the summer when my boyfriend and I went on our first date it was really boring and hot (ya know July summer sun) but we ended up going back to his place for A/C. Later in our relationship he told me that he considered walking away cause with my blue hair (that was starting to fade and look green) and with how pale I am I kinda looked like a female joker BUT now he's very happy that he didn't
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
If things that happen that out of her control that made it bad that’s one thing (bad experience at a restaurant, she’s feeling sick, bad weather, etc. ).
But I noticed women will associate outside negative stimuli with the guy as the entire “experience”. It impacts her emotion and she will unfairly associate him with forces that are beyond his control. She will only give him a second chance if she thinks he very good looking.
I’ve never been given a second chance if the night went bad for reasons I couldn’t control. Never ever. I can still recall one date where a girl accidentally looked her keys in her own car. I took her two days to find a spare to pick it up. We had plans for a second date and she canceled.
Yes, there was an excellent Art of Manliness article I was reading about giving a new person three chances whether it is for a relationship or friendship. One of the key points of the article that when meeting new people, a person tends to be nervous and awkward, but they may soon warm up to you the more you get to know each other.
Yes. My intention in dating is for the long run so if I was still attracted to her after date number one and just didn’t feel sparks then I would plan another date in a different environment to give it another chance.
If she just had difficulty opening up because she was shy, I'd give a second date a chance. Maybe a date where there was an activity, so she doesn't feel so pressured to talk much.
Give the guy a second chance , never know maybe he was nervous o something like that you. can't wait to have a perfect date because depends of both of you
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Asker
+1 y
I was the one who made it dull.. i was the nervous one.
yes, if there was something of interest, I realize people get nervous. But, I have not given a first date because I didn't sense she was available emotionally and wasn't that interested.
Yes. But only because I know that I am personally terrible at first dates. If he's shy I first one would be pretty hard for him bit he did it which shows he's willing to put himself in a anxious situation to try and get to know you. So what would one more date hurt. Maybe go for a drink to lose the atmosphere.
"Dull" bad, yes I probably would if I thought there was potential. After all, we all have our down days. If it was "awful" bad, no I would not give it a second chance.
I would if I thought there was still potential. A lot of people put massive pressure on themselves on a first date. I do my best to make her feel easy, but as she doesn't know me yet it might not work.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Yes. My boyfriend and i have been together for 5 years. I was reluctant to meet him on our second date because our first date didn't go well because his breath smelled like juicy garlic combined with paombong vinegar. It was a major turn off. But he was persevered to prove himself to me, so i gave it a try. Now i can make a joke out of our first date without him being hurt cuz he has learned dental hygiene. Good luck
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I’d give it a 2ns chance. Sometimes people get so nervous that they’re unable to show their amazing personality so if you give them another shot and they open up more, you could potentially have a really great time with them
Some things that are "bad" on a date would be things I'd stay clear of and I wouldn't date her again. Other things I would.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Yes, i would.
Actually a few months ago this happened to me and now we probably will be in a serious relationship soon with plans about the future and all that lovey dovey stuff.
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