Would you date a girl or guy that you consider to be overweight/obese?

Question

I’m personally open to it.

curiousnorway · Accepted Answer

No, I wouldn't for several reasons. My definition on overweight in dating is what you can see with your eyes. To me the exact number you're in kg or cm isn't important to know, but that I can see if you looks chubby and fat or not. Here are my reasons on why I doesn't want to date an overweight person and it's a complete deal breaker:

1. I doesn't like the look of it and feels both psychologically and physically uncomfortable when seeing an obese look. I doesn't like the roundness, the saggy fat or anything like that. I finds slim and fit bodies more beautiful looking. I don't know if it's the beauty standards I grew up with causing that or if it's biological. From I was 5 years old and noticed people were different, I've never liked the look of fatness.

(It doesn't mean I'm always negative to the person. I just doesn't like the look)

2. The majority of my family members are overweight. It's both their family trademark and individual characteristics. So I feels unnatural around overweight people when it comes to romance and sexual relationships. Every time an overweight person crush on me they won't only risk coming in my friend zone, but also my family zone.

Although ca. 70% of my country's population are considered overweight it's mostly elderly people and people in some social environments (E. g. gaming clubs) that gets affected, so the people I see most often like people at my age doing other things and people under 37 are usually not overweight. Because of this I'm not used to see many fat people in my social circles, so fatness is associated with old people and family members. If most of my family members were thin, I would probably not feel the same and I wouldn't associate it with a family trait. Many young people in my family are also very obese and it's not that common for young people to be it.

3. I'm not the healthiest person. I eats a lot of sweets and doesn't exercise very much. But I'm not very unhealthy either since I eats healthy food too and hasn't any health problems. Yet I associates being overweight with bad health and difficulty taking care of yourself. If you've difficulty taking care of yourself regardless of it's your own fault or not, how are you going to be able to take care of rest of your family, the relationship and live a long and happy life?

4. It's inconvenient for me. Not only because of health, looks and my incest alarm screams in my brain, but also because of we would be too different. I'm shorter than 170 cm and as skinny as many East-Asians are. If I dated an overweight person, I would be very tiny and the other one would be very heavy. So cuddling, flirting in the sofa, having sex etc. would be uncomfortable. I would always have to be on the top because of the fat person being very heavy etc.

If it was a girl she would remind me too much of my closest cousins, I couldn't carry her (like some people do in marriage picture), allow her to sit on my lap or any of these things. If it was a guy he would have more difficulty pulling off the look than if it was a girl. Although I doesn't like when anyone are fat, guys often looks worse with round faces than girls. Girls can keep their sweetness although they're not attractive or thin, while a guy would only look off.

007-Tarzan · Accepted Answer

Yeah I have found some relatively overweight girls attractive in the past. They usually tend to have pretty much outstanding features in all other aspects except that they may seem overweight. I remember this one girl I saw on the train with the most luxurious blonde hair and piercing blue eyes... like I could notice those eyes from half way across the carriage... she had really nice skin.. and cute smile and cool fashion sense... I think she was checking me out as well... which made it even more enticing... anyways I regret not being able to ask her out... she pretty much exited the train at the next stop and i didn't want to look like a mad man chasing after her... but yeah that was pretty much intense attraction on my part and she would typically be considered overweight.

However, having said that... I don't really have any desire in my life to have an overweight partner... so for example I might initially date an overweight girl.. but I definitely would not want her to stay overweight... and I would make that very clear early on if we did become serious. It's not even to do with fat shaming or just being shallow about looks... but it's more to do with who I am deep down... I need to feel like I'm making the best out of every situation and constantly bettering myself. Fitness and health are pretty core values of who I want to be and my deepest aspirations... and yeah my partner by extension would have to fit in to that vision. I can't be with someone who easily throws in the towel and doesn't try hard to achieve things... and I believe a relationship is only as strong as its weakest link.. so yeah I just wouldn't tolerate that kind of laziness.

Also I have this fantasy where I'd like to take an average overweight chick and sculpt her in to being like a supermodel. I genuinely think I could have the power to do that.. it would no doubt be interesting to see the transformation. I mean think about it... it's awesome meeting a girl that's a 10... but it's even more awesome if you can take a 6 and engineer her to be an undisputed 10. Thats like some serious achievement... also that partnership could be pretty lucrative because people love transformation stories... so yeah that's just something I'll be open to I guess... 🤷‍♂️

BeautifulMind59 · Accepted Answer

I know some overweight celebrities. Most are very beautiful or cool. I know quite an astonishing number of obese people who are married to or dating quite some skinny people.
I know a lot of guys who think skinny girls are about as sexy as a clothing hanger. I also know quite a few countries where obesity and stretch marks are considered a beauty and advantage. It was on the Oprah show.
In the end it all comes back to a person's confidence, not their weight, to have a successful relationship or life.
And yes, a lot of times your weight is not your choice. The richest woman in the U. S. has struggled with weight issues.
And I've also met obese people who are successful in their careers and lives outside dating.
I'm personally definitely not into skinny people. Some fat doesn't bother me. For extremely obese people, if you can, please get checked. You might have underlying issues like a low functioning thyroid, hormone issues or other physical issues, or even depression, anxiety, and other emotional issues. These underlying problems are usually worse than obesity itself and are hurting your life more than your weight. You are also at a higher risk for diabetes and stroke, and that's not fun at all.

BlackRoseFairy · Accepted Answer

Overweight and obese are not the same thing. I've said it before and I'll say it again.
A person is considered overweight even if he has 0.3kg more then his/her "ideal" weight. And guess what? You would know none of it!
So yes, I would date someone who is moderately overweight.

But not someone who is obese.
FYI Obesity is defined as a BMI >30 (>13-15kg above the "ideal" weight) and has different stages.

Learn to tell those two apart already! 🙄

ragequeen · Accepted Answer

I've never fallen in love with an obese man, but if it happens, it happens. They're not necessarily less attractive but I would like someone who takes care of themselves, and since I like extreme sports, traveling and adventures, it could be difficult to maintain the relationship. Poor comparison but it's like getting a dog; you want/need one that can keep up with your lifestyle.

Dav1ss · Accepted Answer

Obese to the chance of death no because if I go into a relationship I'm looking for a husband and I dont want him dying on me if he was trying to get it down or wasn't at risk of death yes I would

molonski2 · Answer

Sounds shallow and horrible , but absolutely no way.
It says so many other things about a person , quality of diet for a start , lack of exercise , poor thought process , the list goes on. Generally there is " Fat attitude " or there is " Jolly Fat " , even " Token Fatty " , all of these persoonias are complete BS , they are presented as a protective shield.
Bottom line is it takes discipline to maintain your BMI though life , and there is never any excuse , Age , Childbirth , workload , gender , eating patterns , fitness.
Im sure everyone has guilty pleasures , its a case of controlling them though life. Hence , I could never do a fattie , never have , never will.

Knighted2170 · Answer

To be honest, it’s unlikely.

I know it’s not easy to lose weight. I also know it’s not because a person is lazy, or isn’t trying. Weight tends to just happen for certain people.

I’m not a weight shamer, I just don’t find an over weight person physically attractive. I can handle a few extra pounds, so long as she is still proportional. But, 20-30 pounds is going to be a stretch for me.

I’m a very fit person, who works out. Health is something I take rather seriously. She doesn’t need to be a gym rat. Just healthy. I want as much time as I get with her. Being over weight will rob us of that time.

ChurchOfIron · Answer

I feel for overweight and obese people. But no. Not in 1,000 lifetimes would I ever even begin to consider dating one. I frankly find it difficult to look at them, let alone be near them. I view them somewhat on the same level as a heroin addict. It's pitiable; I want to help them; but, it's also revolting.

I don't want kids, but I also don't understand how anyone could even consider having children with someone who can't even take care of themselves. They can't take care of themselves, but you think they can take care of a child?

I want a fit chick. Or at least a chick who watches her diet and doesn't have literally 0 self-control and self-discipline. I need a woman who will help me grow, not one who will inhibit my healthy lifestyle.

Flower7 · Answer

I wouldn't. I tried it before and even though I liked his personality a lot, the relationship faded because I wasn't able to stay physically attracted to him.

I'd tried to give him a chance because he was such an awesome person, but I just couldn't force myself to have the attraction. I could only see him as a friend.

I'll never try it again. That's simply not my type and I can't go against nature.

Imcmullan · Answer

So when I think about the sex part, I always wonder how he'd get to his weiner... or if im on top, do I have to lift up his stomach? Outside of sex, if he's sweet, kind, and doesn't sweat just from standing there, I would date someone over weight... its all about personality... but sexually, I don't know how it's possible to get it on with someone who can't access their Weiner 🤷🏽‍♀️

lifelearner011 · Answer

I'm not seeking for a guy who's determinated size. Yet yes, would like to be with a person that takes care of his health. It doesn't matte if he's a bit overweight, as long as he's doing - practicing habits that help him to have a better health.

If we get shallow.. I do prefer guy with some extra fat, I think subconsciously I think they can be better huggers. :)

AndrewMG · Answer

Probably not, but even as a straight guy I'd have a bromance with this guy after his weekend achievements! lol

jaxthedog · Answer

I've dated a overweight girl in the past and i genuinely love her she was by far the best girl I've dated and i thought she was super sexy she was smart funny quick witted playful she had a big and kind heart super cute especially loved her little quirks amazing peronalty and over all a good person. So much so she has become the standard i hold potential girlfriends. So yes i would date a big girl again.

DD__Jones · Answer

This would be an interesting statistic if age was visible. I see a lot of teen guys saying no, but once they grow up they realize there's more to a girl than a model look.

EmbraceThePain · Answer

Overweight is different from obese. I’d date overweight, but obese is extreme

dancoop · Answer

Absolutely. Overweight/obese girls are far more attractive than the borderline anorexics being passed off as “models”. I love a girl that eats what she wants and does not worry all day about her figure. I have been attracted to girls that were just a little chubby and girls that were “obese” with big pot bellies and everything in between.

rjroy3 · Answer

Overweight yes, obese no. But if I see a girl as obese, the medical definition would likely be like Type IV Obese, not type I. Type 1-2 obese ain't shit. When you dip into 3-5 now it's an issue. Average American is overweight and likely labeled obese, even if they're attractive. So it doesn't carry much weight with me.

Sweatyotterr · Answer

No I’m in good shape so I would want a lady in good shape

sawno · Answer

No, i would not be attracted to them so there is no point in dating.

Bismarck_96 · Answer

If she’s a bit fat like 180 (in today’s word “thick”) I’ll still go but if she’s way fat for a tow truck required to move then no I’ll still go for skeletons 😛

Sophie_2301 · Answer

I probably wouldn’t date someone who was obese, just because it’s a sign of being unhealthy but I’d be open to possibly date someone a little overweight.

Wharvey98 · Answer

If her personality was compatible and she wasn’t morbidly obese yeah. A little overweight is ok, it’s when people start getting 80-90 plus overweight that it really becomes a problem.

Passinggas · Answer

Unfortunately per the bodyfat definitions, most women, even the normal ones, are obese so we have went down a slippery slope of a little more fat acceptance continuously. Eventually, we will all be out with fat slobs and we will think it is normal.

may04 · Answer

Like a lot of the opinions already posted, I'm fine with a little extra but I don't think I could be attracted to someone obese.

DeviloftheValleys · Answer

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Nah. Slightly puffy/a bit soft, sure. But not overwheight.

shimmeryns · Answer

Less likely, we are not compatible. I like to stay fit -- running, hiking, cycling. I don't think an overweight / obese person suit my lifestyle.

Daniela1982 · Answer

Wow, now I know why I can't get a date. Guys don't dig fat chicks. :(

carameltwin · Answer

I'm actually more attracted to larger men/women, whether that be a lot of fat, muscles, or just height.

Anonymous · Answer

Nope.

I feel part of my attraction to a person is how they take care of thier body.

I love hiking I love walking I love moving. I love talking about health. I really dont care for take out food. It would be a match that I could not deal with.

SexyAshh · Answer

Uhm no! Not in this lifetime. If i care what i look like and my health you have to to.  Unless a medical issue, obesity is plain laziness and shows me you could cAre less about yourself👏✌️

bamesjond0069 · Answer

No because its really a mental defect. No self control. Its also a lifestyle issue, im physically fit, how can i enjoy sports with my girlfriend if she's too fat to do them? I dont want to do them by myself.

Anonymous · Answer

I would easily date a chubby guy and even prefer chubby guys to super fit ones, HOWEVER I don't find myself being attracted to unhealthy people and obese is unhealthy.

GuidoThePizzaMaker · Answer

No, I need a woman who is healthy.
I am quite healthy myself, so I just want a woman who is at a similar level

Overweight and obesity signify a lack of self-control, self-awareness, and an inability to stop something bad from escalating.

Vesta · Answer

But I do think they should work on losing the weight. I don't want to be a single father because she died of a heart attack from being obese

jl25sc · Answer

Yes, only on the condition that we both exercise together often and reach a healthier goal and lifestyle together. I want her to be healthier and I will do it with her. Its a win-win.

kbbroiler · Answer

Nope I would not for the very simple reason is I take care of myself. I go to the gym 5 times a week and workout between and 1 hr 1/2 to 2 hrs so I would not get with someone who does not take care of themselves.

Hurlyburly · Answer

Overweight yeah, but not obese. Way too many health risks for my taste.

sean1234 · Answer

Maybe if I already knew her and knew her when she was thin. Sounds crappy, but it is how it is.

ALSO, it depends on the definition of overweight. "Fat" is not attractive, no matter how you see or say it.

gorman24 · Answer

Yeah its not about the weight for me its more the personality. Weight can come off. An ugly personality however is much harder to get rid of.

Giggletr0n · Answer

My last 3 relationships have been with obese women, not can't walk obese but medically classed that way by BMI charts.

ConfusednClueless · Answer

I never have but I am not a small girl. So I'd feel like a hypocrite if I said otherwise.

MissKittyz · Answer

A little bit overweight, sure. I've dated someone like that before. But obese? No way. I wouldn't be attracted to that at all.

Haelaeix123 · Answer

If she has a good personality then yeah I'd be open to it

slatyb · Answer

Overweight definitely. Obese I probably won't be attracted.

RXV344 · Answer

I wouldn’t date obese of overweight it’s just too much of a hassle.

Kitty46 · Answer

I’m overweight, I look a little fat, I’m trying to lose weight for me, I already lost some weight. My boyfriend loves me the way I am.

Wemix · Answer

Someone a bit overweight sure. I actually prefer guys with a bit more meat to them over skinny guys.  However he has to be healthy, as in not obese to the point where his life is at sake you know.

ImagineSketchy · Answer

No. Being obese is a health risk. If I become attached to them, it would hurt me too much to see them fall/die because of their weight and any health issues that accompany it.

Liam_Hayden · Answer

Overweight, yes as long as she is healthy or moving towards. Obese, no. That shows too much of a lack of self-control.

Anonymous · Answer

Sorry to be shallow but I couldn't date someone who is obese (would make an exception if it was medical related), gives off the vibe that their unhealthy and don't care about their self.

douride2 · Answer

I am ok with being a little over weight. Someone who is obese no thank you.

CoffeeWC · Answer

Honestly no. I wouldn't be able to have any sort of romantic relationship with someone I don't find physically attractive.

kres0345 · Answer

I simply see weight as a "feature" if you don't find heavy weight attractive then that's that and the same opposite. In the same way that some people find tall people attractive and some don't. I don't

hana12 · Answer

i can't. i want someone who takes care of its health like me. someone like me since i care a lot of my health

Bmories99 · Answer

Weight changes and fluctuates. There are many reasons people can be overweight. The reality is personality and character are the true mark of beauty.

IoffurAdVice · Answer

Yeah it's gonna sound harsh, but she'd have to be what I find extra cute in the face. Plus her hygiene has to be exceptional.

Physics-Man · Answer

The only way I'd be willing to date a fat girl is if I was fat myself. Fat girls and guys can't expect to attract in-shape people if they aren't the same themselves. I think it's only fair.

Anonymous · Answer

Depends how she's carrying it. I work with this woman who's medically considered "obese" ( has a BMI over 30) and she's hotter than hell.

nevertoosure · Answer

I would date a guy who’s obese, as long as he’s careful enough not to accidentally injure me hahaha

AustinMan · Answer

I was married to morbidly obese for 27 years. Been there, done that, got the damn T-shirt.

SkipStop · Answer

No. That's unattractive to me. Especially obese. Plus, I'm fairly skinny.

Tina84 · Answer

A girl overweight maybe obese no cause overweight have better chance getting healthy Obesity I think some causes like eat but also couldn’t watch her kill her self that way.

lovedejj_xo · Answer

Obese is a deal breaker. And it depends How much they’re overweight. As well as are you following a new healthy lifestyle to be healthy and lose weight. If not then no

CURIOUShErE1 · Answer

I take decent care of myself. I would hope she would return the favor.

sasukeuchiha7 · Answer

Obese no, I want a partner who is athletic like me. If she a but weighty no worries, as long it doesn't affect her drastically.

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