Tinder girl flaked date, how to proceed?

[Itsjustme2000]

Tinder girl flaked our date. We made arrangements and I messaged 10 minutes after arriving time saying I've arrived and she responded with 'arrived? X' I then said 'yeah at the cargo x' followed by another text 10 minutes later sayings her name. She then said 'ok?' I then said 'are you not coming?' She then said 'what' and then I said 'we arranged to meet up here at 7:30 remember' which I'm guessing she is now ignoring.
How to proceed apart from no contact, meaning if she comes back what to do?

Again this type of behaviour literally enforcing the hate I had gotten rid of towards women. I just can't be fucking asked anymore. Girls are more mature my fucking dick hole.

[mattdzz]

Ok, you've encountered something VERY common, especially on Tinder.
Many girls go on tinder just for attention, and even when they do make plans most "flake" out to some degree.
So, instead of just hating women, try to understand the game:
On Tinder, you may get 10% matches as a guy, while a comparably attractive girl will get 50%+
So, for every one girl you're talking to, she's got five guys talking to her. This drastically increases her ego, while decreases your chances, even for a first response, and especially for a continued conversation. Then there is the matter of actually setting up a date, which you need to understand is completely reliant on initial, then continued, confirmation.
For example: you could say, "hey, we both have Friday night off, let's meet up at XYZ?" and she'll reply with, "that sounds fun!" which ISN'T confirmation, it's a hypothetical that doesn't guarantee anything. Also you may set up plans earlier in the week, but what she agrees to Sunday evenings, for a Friday evening, doesn't necessarily apply Friday, as many things have changed (e. g. her mood, plans, etc.) in her mind, and if she doesn't bring it up the day before, chances are she's not coming. I know this is frustrating, and as someone who has been on Tinder for 3+ years on and off I've experienced everything from a girl who I match with and meet up with an hour later, to someone I talk on and off with (match on and off with) and never meet up with, or meet up years later. This is the game, and if you expect them to simply be like "my word is my bond," you are judging women by men's standards... not gonna work.
So, a few suggestions: Bread crumb girls in the same way they do you; play the long game as the myriad of initial matches start dropping off, and her inbox dries up. Don't respond in two seconds if it takes them an hour to respond, and sometimes know when it just isn't gonna happen (e. g. if you send three texts in a row and she doesn't respond, or responds with a one word response).
Set up plans the day of, preferably to meet up when she's already going out. IF a girl misses one date, you can choose to let if fly, if she gives a good reason, but if she doesn't just cut contact and never waste another night of alternative plans for her.
Lastly, know that if the conversation isn't a back-and-forth exchange of original thoughts, and genuine questions, then you're not interested enough in each other to have anything but an awkward coffee/ dinner/ etc. exchange anyway; so, it's not worth meeting.
Girls have so many more choices than we do, and some may abuse this power, but if you find one genuinely interested in you, and she fits your standards (and you may meet her on Tinder), they can make your life better. Don't give up, I know the dating game sucks rn (girls have their own difficulties), but changing your expectations may help you avoid excessive frustration.

[Itsjustme2000]

Thanks for the in-depth reply. I have been doing what you have said. I arranged the plan to meet two days in advance, which is not a long time. I also ran out of data the day of the date. I sent her a messaging explaining this and gave my number, which is instantly replied and gave me hers. She definitely ditched on purpose, I mean she could have told me, it she flakes she flakes but to not tell me is just rude. In terms of texting times and not double texting I'm all good on.

[mattdzz]

Then you're ahead of the game on much of that. Another possibility, and i'm going to paint women in a bad light here, is that they'll have several possible plans for a weekend, and they'll go with the one they're most interested in, even if they conflict with another date for a guy who they don't find as interesting/ hot/ rich/ etc.
I would suggest taking on this approach as well so as not to waste your time. Believe me, I've been sitting on my couch on a Friday night, where I had made plans, cleared my schedule, and the girl texted me the next day apologizing for "something crazy that came up."
Make potential plans with at least 2-3 girls who you wouldn't mind going out with. Rank them in your mind of who you'd more rather see, and if the Tier 1 girl cancels, you have the Tier 2 already set up. Of course this can burn you, as I've gone out for a drink at a bar with a Tinder match, and ran into two other Tinder matches within five minutes, both of who recognized me, and weren't happy.
But i'll admit it's rude, but just like you can't expect a random guy to help you move as you can your brother, you can't expect the same reliability from people you don't know.
I wish you luck, you've got many years of dating ahead of you, but the silver lining is that it's turning into cuffing season, and girls will be much more willing to actually meet than during the summer.

[Itsjustme2000]

Thanks you very much for the advice brother. We need more people like you.

[Itsjustme2000]

PS do you have any advice on having better convos with women? Maybe you can recommend me a website or YouTube channel? I feel like I've got the rules down but i feel like I'm lacking the mouth piece

[mattdzz]

Well, I'd automatically avoid all the "interview" questions like: what's their major, favorite movie, school, etc... That's all just lame. Find something about one of their pictures and ask them about it, be it a trip/ tattoo, etc. and spin a conversation from there. When they match with you, know that they're on, and text them quick with an observation (pickup lines are funny, but after a laugh there's nowhere really to go, not to mention they hear a lot of em). The point isn't to win 100%, but to start a conversation where it has the greatest possibility of turning into an organic, and fluid conversation.
THEN, asap get their snap or number so when they're not on Tinder you can continue the conversation at a more relaxed pace.

[Itsjustme2000]

Pretty much the same stuff I do minus the pick up lines, it's good to know that I haven't done anything wrong. It's hard to have a fun convo when you get dead replies though, plus no bios and images are mainly selfies and shit. It's hard not to getting boring on them, but I try and avoid being boring as much as possible

[mattdzz]

Trust me, there's no guarantee that even the best approach or conversation will get anything.

[holograph]

With this specific girl, it was the best possible result. You didn't pay for her to eat (or whatever you were doing) and you found out she was a bitch before you even had to be on the date with her.

Your age is marked at 19. Lot of people that age still have a ways to go before they could maybe be considered reasonably mature. Don't blame 3+ billion women on this planet for one (or a few) women standing you up.

[Itsjustme2000]

Yeah, as i realises I got flakes on I thought to myself at least I didn't waste money on her. PS I've written this message three times and it hasn't gone through

[Aidelwaish]

Wow it never ever happens on me. I never cancel or flake any dates. Bcoz i really do appreciate men's time and their interest in me.

But there is one big thing i should make sure with u, did you reconfirm the date 1-2 days before?

Honestly i cannot go on dates with guys who dont reconfirm date 1-2 days before, bcoz i will assume that he is not that serious/interested, bcoz i have risk of being flaked either and i will do other plans. (But fortunately it never happened. Those guys always let me know in advance that they wanted the date bcoz they also thought i could flake them).

And even when i make an appointment with my not-so-close friend, its an ethic for me or them to make sure if it 1-2 days before.

[Aidelwaish]

Oh i remember i was flaked by a guy, and i had known it before it happens. He underestimated me. He apologized, and made up his mistake, the next day he asked me out again, and we went on our first date. After the first date, he asked for the next dates. He almost ruined it.

[Itsjustme2000]

Well I made the plans 2 days before the date day, on top of that I sent her my number in case she needed to message me because I had ran out of data.

[Itsjustme2000]

I sent her my number on the day of the date, but I didn't say here is my number to message me on incase you can't make it. I gave it to her and said if she needs to message me here's my number, we were using Snapchat originally.

[sejla]

Some people are rude.

Is there a block on Tinder? I'd leave it as a block and have nothing to do with her.

It reminds me when I used to do freecycle where you give thing away for free. I'd set up dates and times for a porch pick up. Then a no show. I'd contact them and then we'd set up another time and no show. I finally posted on the site about my experience. Someone posted there are some people who just like to play a game. Either she's that kind of woman or she really isn't responsible or contacting too many men at one time to keep track of them all.

I wouldn't fall back to all woman are not good. And Tinder just isn't really a serious place for the most part.

[Itsjustme2000]

Who's knows. I just don't worry about what they are thinking anymore.

[sejla]

You really can't. Go to the site Meetup and join some interest meetups and just hang around people enjoy life. It is a free site.

[Itsjustme2000]

Sounds interesting, thanks

[Levin]

There is no way to proceed. She's literally a child in her thinking, with no capacity to understand the impact her behaviour has on other people.

Surely you read too much into this 'relationship'?

I think you need to learn the lessons here. You need to respect yourself far more. And yeah, Tinder is a load of bollocks. Don't expect anything serious there. Go out, and talk to women, for fuck sake.

[Itsjustme2000]

Any advice with going out by yourself? My friends are all in university and not close to me. Unless there is another way, not really looking forward going out by myself to pick up women

[Levin]

I wouldn't go out to pick up women, well, solely. Do activities, get hobbies, go places, volunteer, work out, do martial arts, as is viable. Active and rich social life. More likely to meet people.

Aside from that, I use meetup. com. People in the same boat, go to meet people, lots of weird and wonderful groups.

I'm not denying that it's difficult. However, that's where the real personal growth comes from.

Tinder is the lazy approach. It's like porn. No real effort required. It provides a cheap satiation. But you feel screwed and all the poorer after.

[Itsjustme2000]

That website sounds great, I'll definitely look into it and you're right. I guess I'm just lacking motivation, but will go out more. Plus I've got to get some more money for all these activities

[Levin]

Motivation is the test, and what I was referring to earlier. It's easier to stay in at home, and watch porn or go on tinder. It's a drag to motivate yourself. When you accomplish something worthwhile, get out there, you feel great.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Qwqqyj4jkk

[noelic]

Dating apps tend to become impersonal really fast. Just move on and do not engage. People that are worth your time and their salt will be there. Also, take a couple of days off and review your conversation, check if this was actually a thing.

[Itsjustme2000]

Hard to say, it definitely wasn't anything amazing, but she definitely led me on in this on. For example I accidentally forgot to put what day to meet up and she responded with 'what day' but hey I'm more annoyed at the wasted time from talking to her to getting flaked on.

[noelic]

Like others said, this may be the best possible outcome for you. I've heard horror stories from others, both in person and online, so being stood up is sooo much better.

[genericname85]

you move on to the next girl, cause this one clearly doesn't want to meet you.

[Itsjustme2000]

Lol thanks grumpy

[genericname85]

xD yeah well girls on dating sites suck. they get hookup offers all day so they think they're hot shit and can affort to treat guys like that. it's a pitty.

[Itsjustme2000]

Haha they sure do, it's definitely social media that has given this inflated ego, shame we can't knock them down a bit

[genericname85]

well we could but we would have to work together xD those fuck boys won't help tho.

[GreenGold1992]

she's a bitch, but not all of them are like that, so you gotta wade through the cunts before you find quality

[stormbreaker06]

be grateful and move on.

i can't even get a match is been 8 months now.

[Itsjustme2000]

I guess bro, but what does the match mean if it doesn't lead to something?

[stormbreaker06]

IT MEANS YOU HAVE POTENTIAL FOR Something BETTER.

[cavmanier]

Definitely get off online dating

[jb12358]

Bottle of whiskey and random EasyJet

[Fuentes]

Lol block that bish and take the L bruh