Would I? I have. I've also lived out of my car and had no permanent residence before.
I traveled for a few years touring for various reasons and me and my boyfriend at the time lived out of the back of a van during that time of our lives. We didn't need a permanent residence to do what we were doing, and we didn't want an RV (not to mention how unwieldy and unnecessary they are just for a young travelling couple), so we both ended the leases on our apartments and decided to share a van as living quarters for a few years.
To answer a few questions:
- We showered at gyms or similar facilities that allowed us to pay for a one-day membership.
- We had a few silverware and dishes that we washed at similar facilities.
- We both had reasonably stable jobs: He was a tour manager of sorts and I was touring for a promotional book deal that paid pretty much the same amount at each stop we made while going cross-country and back with the tour.
- We had the back of the van decked out with a mattress, pillows, blankets, etc., and neither of us found much use in radio or TV, so we basically just drove from place to place sight-seeing until one of us had a stop that we had to make.
- We kept our clothes in suitcases and out nicer clothes that we wore for promotional/business interactions we kept in those plastic bag-things that keep clothes from wrinkling or staining, which we hung around the interior walls of the van. We would sometimes just buy a new outfit whenever we needed to make a stop, retiring or donating an older outfit in the process.
- We mostly ate out at fast food joints or restaurants, but we did make a few things by campfire or other small heat source every once in a while, usually on the longer stretches of highway or late at night in smaller towns where everything closed earlier in the evening.
- We would usually check into a hotel room for the nights just prior to when we had a business engagement, as that allowed us to have access to a shower and other more convenient utilities/commodities when getting dressed the following morning.
- We didn't take physical mail in any way whatsoever if we could help it due to the temporary lack of permanent physical addresses, but what we did have to have mailed physically (as opposed to electronically) we simply had forwarded to our families.
Between the two of us, we were getting paid far more than enough to afford fuel and food, often enough to afford hotel rooms, new clothes, and one-day access to several gyms and recreational facilities. Think about it like this... We could have been paying monthly rent on apartments for those 1.5-2 years, so all the money that DIDN'T go toward rent payments and travel to and from our business engagements all over the country went towards the hotel rooms and new clothes and finer things that we got for ourselves along our journey, instead. It would have been all but impossible for either of us to afford a fixed residence while working the jobs that we were at that time because we each would have had to take a cross-country round-trip flight at least once, if not twice, each month... That's upwards of 4 flights and 4 nights of hotel lodgings per month anyway to get to and from our speaking engagements, so adding rent on top of that seemed like a waste of time/money. It was far cheaper to buy a van and pay for fuel from place to place than to pay monthly rent AND round-trip flights each month.
I know of at least a handful of people that do the same thing and have continued to do so for many years. One couple that I'm still pretty good friends with tours the country collecting and selling minerals and rock samples at various fairs and exhibitions across the globe. They drive everywhere from Alaska to Mexico and all through Canada and the U. S. in a van similar to ours, and they live in much the same way we did in our little van. They make pretty good money, and probably wouldn't be able to do their jobs if they did have a physical residence.
I live in a car with my mom sadly. Things have gone bad for us. We go to Planet Fitness to shower and stay clean. My friend lets us use her laundry. We regularly see social workers though they often aren't much help with fhe lack of housing and resources they have. I'm mentally disabled she is physically but for some reason doesn't qualify for SSI.
I used to try to get another job but I had a breakdown after a series of traumatic events and even my doctor and psychiatrist suggests that working traditional work is not good for me. I want to work, but it's always been difficult and niw its way more.
You won't get much compassion from users on GaG, or anywhere else for that matter. People are selfish. They don't care about anyone but themselves.
I became friends with a homeless guy. He was a war veteran. The country he risked his life for didn't care about him when he came home. Everyone called him a war hero, but when he became homeless people would look down on him and ignore him. He was treated with distain
I've drummed it into my kids never to fight for their country.
I would date a homeless guy that lived in his car if I liked his personality.
I wouldn't date him but understand where you are coming from.
@Xavier1954
I should hope not. You're old enough to be his grandpa
As per usual.. users are stereotyping homeless people
Lol. I don't understand by homeless. He has a car to live in and it should be his home. Usually it depends on perspectives, but I like people with home. No matter where, s/he should be happy enough to call everyplace his home. And I will tag him as "true human". And i'd love to have true humans around me. But if s/he thinks homeless then I won't. S/he has a personality disorder.
Yes. Material wealth is far from all there is to a person. In fact, it is relatively unimportant when you get beyond the basics.
Also don't give up, dude. The world is full of good women, including ones that are open-minded and non-judgemental. It is great that you don't do drugs or drink. Also, you're young. You just need to get back on your feet and you'll be fine.
Thank you very much. I appreciate that. I still have hope for me. I have purpose and I can contribute, I just need the resources and opportunity. Hopefully that day will be sooner rather than later
Opinion
40Opinion
Not unless I was in a similar situation... at this point in my life, I need someone with more stability who has their life together.
My how your needs have grown. From a love that is true to. . . stability.
Pretty soon you won't care about the true love bit.
You have no idea what I've been through or have experienced. Love isn't enough. I tried it and I almost broke myself because I can't see someone suffer without trying to help. I have my own shit to deal with and my own struggles of being a single parent. I can't throw my kid's future away to support a homeless person.
He lives in his car, he doesn't need you to "support him," he needs a place to fucking park.
He can take your kid to school. In his CAR. Because he has. . . A CAR.
Do you have a car? Do you have a house? DOES YOUR HOUSE HAVE WHEELS? Okay, so maybe he's actually smarter than you, did you think of that? Can your house take the kids to school? BECAUSE HIS HOUSE CAN. IT'S A CAR!
I don't know what you went through or experienced but it must have really fucked you up if you think you need money to be worthy of love.
No, you need to REQUIRE money for love in order to be a PROSTITUTE.
So I'm supposed to tuck him into his car at night while I go sleep in real bed? And I'm supposed to sleep knowing that he's in his car?
No, a prostitute would require him to support her. I'm not asking to have my way paid.
@SydneySentinel: no one would expect you to support the guy in this scenario by paying his living expenses. That assumes he has no income. If, however, he's employed and can pay his living expenses and split the rent with you (or pay you rent if you own), you aren't supporting him by moving him in with you. You might even make things more affordable for yourself as far as rent and utilities go.
Also bear in mind with regards to datibg a guy That has his shit together, you have the added expense of your kids, ones he isn't the parent of. That takes time and resources away from any children he may have with you or could be spent on joint endeavors like vacations or buying properties. The point I'm making here is that if your thinking is applied to you, you may be found lacking financially as well, so maybe a little more tolerance would be appreciated.
I'm well aware that single moms like a guy who is a net contributor (I was raised by a single mom), but those guys may also view your kids and by extension you as a financial drain.
The difference is that I can fully support my kid and I don't need anything. I don't need someone to take on those expenses. But yes, buying a property or going on vacation would change that a bit.
Living out of a car/being homeless is an extreme example. I'm not saying he has to be a millionaire or something. I just need to not feel like I have to completely support him. And if he's living out of his car, I'm going to feel sorry for him-- especially if I love him-- and want to make it better.
I completely agree with you that love isn't enough by itself and I have also tried to help struggling people. The problem is that it's usually (not always, but in most cases) self inflicted, and most people aren't willing to change or do better.
I've had several friends over the years who have gotten themselves into messes and I've tried to help, but they think my advice is stupid and they think that carelessly blowing their money on things they want but don't need is really smart, then want to feel sorry for themselves when they can't afford groceries or rent.
I also had an ex who was perfectly content with sponging off of his parents for the rest of his life and had no goals at all. He just wanted someone to take care of him.
People like this can be toxic and will only bring you down with them, and you must do what's best for yourself and your kids. You have absolutely zero obligation to take care of a grown man who can't take care of himself. Disregard what this other guy says.
@aWes0MeNeSs: No one is sayibg she shpuld take care of tge gut, which means supportibg them. I dont know why people make a quantum leap to that. Furthermore, for all you know, the single parent could be the one who has trouble managing their finances, not the guy living in his car.
@Bananaman177 If he has nothing but the car he lives in, it's safe to assume that he can't support himself. I've known people who lived in cars, they couldn't even afford to feed themselves most of the time and their cars were beaters that were constantly breaking down and so they were freezing in the winter. These people were also in that situation not because they thought it was smart to use their car as both transportation and as a living space, but because they made very poor decisions and couldn't afford anything else. Poor decisions resulting in something like homelessness are a pretty big indicator that if you shared your life and finances together, you'd both end up in a mess.
Whether you like it or not, money does matter in a serious relationship. Money is how you survive and take care of your children. If you really think all there is to caring for children is taking them to school every day, you're extremely naïve. If your partner is financially irresponsible and you two end up sharing a joint bank account or both pull equal weight in paying the bills, you will end up broke. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be broke or homeless because I chose to enter a relationship with someone who is financially responsible and blew all of our money or couldn't help with the bills.
@Bananaman177 Not to mention that if someone is content with just living out of a car, that shows that they have very little ambition, which is a dealbreaker for me. I'm a very ambitious person who wants to do well for myself and want someone equally ambitious. Someone who will settle for the bare minimum to survive will not cut it for me. I don't want to take care of a grown manchild. Expecting a woman to take care of you like a mother isn't love, it's using and taking advantage of her. It's not wrong to want your partner to be on the same page as you about a lot of things.
If you want to date a girl who lives out of a car, is broke, and has no ambition in life, no one is stopping you. However, it's not wrong or selfish for other people to not want that, and it definitely isn't prostitution. There's a huge difference between expecting a guy to take care of you financially and expecting him to pull his fair share of the weight.
@aWes0MeNeSs: I don't know where you l live, but where I live, getting an apartment is very difficult without local rental references. There can be any number of reasons.
There is no need for the couple to have a joint bank account. They just need to split the bills.
So let me give you a scenario. Guy is employed and would be able to over all of his expenses if by moving in with the single mom and splitting rent, utilities and food expenses. He has No debts. The single mom is also
Employed, but because she has unpaid loans and medical bills, she lives paycheck to paycheck and money is sometimes so tight she needs to ask her boyfriend for some cash to tide her over until payday, which he is able to do). Is he really undateable in such a scenario? Lots of single moms are in such a situation because they do not get child support.
@Avicenna Generally, someone living in their car is not going to be financially stable. That is just a fact. There is a good chance that the one with a place to live is going to be pulling most of the weight. Not many people choose to live in vehicles despite being financially stable.
Also, generally, people living in cars tend to have some sort of financial irresponsibility. I'm not saying all of them, but it's pretty common. If the person is financially irresponsible, there's a good chance you both will suffer the consequences, especially as the relationship becomes more serious.
If your scenario works for the couple, then fine. But no one is wrong for not wanting any part of it, either. No one is obligated to date someone they don't want to or to provide them with a place to live.
@aWes0MeNeSs I'm certainly not self inflicted. And I do have income from SSI and small things I do here and there but there isn't a lot for me to do. I would love to make food and sell it, I'd love to start steaming as well.
@Screenwriter You're spot on. Thank you for clarifying.
Yes I would and they could love with me.
Im surprised. You are one of thr few women who has said this. I'm more surprised that women are a lot less likely than men to take a person in and see them superficially. I really thought the guys would be more harsh, but nope.
Why not? Loving someone can only help!
That's a good way of of looking at it.
No. Even if they didn't do drugs or drink, they could have severe mental health issues, felony convictions, extremely poor decision making skills, or complete lack of ambition to do better. In my experience, these types of people tend to bring you down with them, whether intentionally or not.
I would like to date someone who has their life reasonably together and has ambition like I do. I don't want to take care of someone else who can't or won't pull their fair share of the weight (been there, done that with a lazy, entitled ex who thought video games were more important than getting a job).
I'm a homeless person who is extremely ambitious but has no opportunity to do what it is I'm skilled at.
Many homeless people are hardworking and ambitious. It's a common misconception that they are lazy. This is not the case for probably 30-40 of them.
Are there other opportunities for jobs near you? Sometimes you have to take what you can get in the meantime until the opportunity you want comes up. I don't know about where you are, but where I live, businesses are struggling to find help and are paying decent money.
Like others have said here though, try to focus on your situation for now before worrying about dating.
I've in this situation for 3 years. It's not going anywhere. I'm done putting it off. And I'm not some crazy, lazy asshole with no thought on how to grow my career. But in order to do anything I need a house.
I know I'm undesirable. I want my own place. But it's not as easy as simply getting a job. I had a job when I became homeless. It paid decent but I still couldn't afford it. Then I had a breakdown due to traumatic experience and that cost me my job.
I mean, can you get a job anywhere? Even McDonald's. Anything helps, even if it's not much. It will take awhile, but if you stick with it and move up and save your money, and even get a second job on the side, you have much more than where you started.
I'm not saying you're undesirable by saying you should hold off on dating, but that there are bigger things you need to be worrying about at the moment.
I probably wouldn't consider this person as a possible partner because I would fear how the lack of stability and the problems that come with all this could affect me. I wouldn't mind trying to be friends though, and if we get to be good friends I would try to give a hand so this person can reach stability. Maybe through friendship, or maybe through finding stability my mind changes. Or maybe not. Because it's not all about stability, it should be sure I like this person's personality for a partner and also feel sexual attraction.
You know somehow this works like this; if you live in a car, you may be working productively to better the situation but if I know you live in a car I'm not dating you, or anyone that's still working on themselves in regards to sustenance and substance.
But I've dated guys that I did not know where they lived for sure or how they made their money, so at least for a few dates, till i learn the real deal he can get away without saying.
Well in regards to your update; When you're done getting on top of your mobile home issue then you can say you bring something to the table. Right now your an embarrassing charity case.
There are more issues to this person who needs to deal with before thinking about dating.
So no, I would not date him knowing our proiorties in life not align.
I would help him, but no, not date him.
Hmmm tough question. The answer is leaning more towards 'no' as the condition indicates instability and probably inability to maintain a long term relationship.
This has to be a case by case. You never know why a person has ended up without an apartment. If they have a job and are working to find a place, but might be in a rough patch. I don't want to take in someone, though. They need to get stabilized.
No. A homeless person should not even think about that stuff unless they want some other homeless person. I have been in shit situations that were far better than being homeless when dating was totaly out of the question because I felt I couldn't offer much.
No, lol... they need to focus on getting a place to stay and fixing their life.
Not dating. Prioritizes first.
thats what i am thinking...
if i was in that situation... dating would not be my top proiorty.
I wouldn't consider marrying an individual who isn't stable. Homeless implies unstable situation. So no, I wouldn't date them because dating is to decide if I want to marry them.
I mean, I imagine quite a few people have been in a situation like that. If you're motivated enough, I'm sure you'll get out of this soon. As for answering your question, yeah I probably would if they were a nice person with no alcohol or drug problems who would be willing to put effort into getting a home. I'd even try to help out as much as I can
I know a guy who has a decent job and consciously decided to live out of his van lol. It's a choice, but hey *shrugs*. Living the life he wants. When he goes out he is posted up near the location xD
For me it's certainly not a choice. It's oppressive and I hate it.
So you're asking would i date Jewel because she was homeless and living in her car at one time. I'd give her a roll. But most likely it wouldn't last cause politically she's the polar opposite of me.
I guess this was and oddly specific answer to such a broad question. Sorry.
My girlfriend of a few months ended up sleeping in a car for three days until I found out. I paid for a motel for a few days after which she moved in with a friends family. We eventually got married and she is here next to me in one of our two homes.
Wow. I just read the comments on this thread. Some are worried about bad judgement, felons, unstable and more. It had nothing to do with defects with her, she was in horrible situations as her mom died before she was a teenager, he father was an abusive alcoholic where she had to run away at 15, she and a friend took shelter in an empty house and were later drugged and raped buy two guys twice their age. She then lived with a step brother who was much older and he took her social security checks and all her money from working and she got throw out eventually and lived in the car.
This was about people shitting on a kid (her), she is an amazing person who is exceptionally kind by any standard and more so coming from that background. We have been married for a longtime now and all is well.
I know a lady who lives in her van, because she takes temporary job assignments and it saves with living expenses. So in-between jobs, she travels. She's a fairly normal person though.
I guess so.
She would probably be pretty easy to please. Don't have to worry about jewelry or fancy dining, she would be happy just to use my shower and have a sandwich.
My kind of relationship.
As long as she found a way to groom of course but at that point if she wanted to date I'd let her crash at my place and even past that as long as still friends she could stay until she got on her feet
If she works / lives in certain ultra expensive enclaves of California, this is sadly all too common. Although a Van or a Camper can be a "house" if done right.
I'd move her in with me if she can at least cover her expenses and debts with her own income.
In some place, employed people are homeless because if the high cost of housing.
How? They live in their car! It’s a nonsense question.
I probably would but I'd feel the need to take him in
Some girls might hippy chicks etc i see lots of homeless couples vegabonning about. Lots of variety out there but the average girl in first world countries seeks a home or apartment
It wouldn’t be an automatic deal breaker, would depend on the circumstances. I know people that have been trough that at some point, sometimes life is tough.
I've lived in my car b4. It sucks. It's also really motivating. I think this has happened to everyone at least once tho.
Sorry you went through that...
Since OP asking this to combine with dating...
At those times, were dating in your mind?
and glad you got yourself in a better place chef :)
@midnightmoon05 dont correct me woman
Probably so but it depends if she has qualities I like and why she is homeless. If it is due to just rebellion and not caring, then no.
It depends on why they are homeless and living in a car.
If they had a van I’d move in there with them. Better than payin rent and bills
To live in a car means that this person is NOT homeless.
There is no human requirement or obligation to dwell in a building.
No just wouldn't mesh we have to different of lives
Unlikely unless there was an overall good reason, then it would be a consideration.
Hobo ahle is pretty cute. I think you'll be fine do you got a job at least and career? Date one of those hippe girls or nature type
Depends on how they treat others and family members
If I wanted to date them, like I was into them then sure.
Notice how most of the guts said yes and most of the girls said no. I wonder which gender has higher standards.
I noticed that too. Maybe women aren't as empathic as they claim to be.
Or maybe they’re pickier then they claim to be.
Most certainly seems to be the case.
Only if she's not sleeping around and doesn't use drugs. If she's real hot then sure why not. I can always try it for a month
Only if she was like REALLY cool and REALLY hot/pretty.
No, I would want that person to get their life sorted and not focus on me for now then come to me.
If they had a really nice body and we're female they could just live in my house with me I have two empty rooms
I’d date a woman that lives out of her car if that’s the life she chooses on her own and healthy. I to am looking to start living off grid or on the road. I’m just fascinated with the lifestyle!
If I were homeless my last priority would be relationships, and i'd seek a solution and fix shelter. I probably wouldn't date one because that would mean they chose it and want to live that way.
PS : you didn't give any info, backstory or hypothesis to your question so expect all kinds of judgement / assumptions.
However if the person i'm dating has become homeless due to external forces, I would still be with them and support through it.
Your assumption that they "chose" this life is the problem. Who the fuck, other than crusties, chooses to be homeless. Newsflash, nobody. to suggest so is to be ignorant of the situation and experience at hand.
Such a bitter guy. You asked for honest opinions, you got them.
I am bitter. I have the right to be. But not because of you. I hear this shit and much worse on a daily basis almost. I'm trying to educate you on your ignorant assumption (that many have) which claims homeless people lack character or are "choosing" this life.
I didn't assume they all were SMH. I said the ones who are comfortable enough in their situation to seek dating and relationships are. Read my opinion again.
they wouldn't be considered homeless their car would be there home sweet home
Maybe. It depends on how stable she is. I would more likely just be friends with her.
I dated a girl that when I met her she was living in a van, great looking and didn't do drugs, drunk sometimes
I hope you're algood bro, I hope you don't live in a cold climate. I'm not sure if it breaks the rule but you should explain or situation on give a little, but you are going to have to be truthfully convining
I myself have been in this situation. Personally I need not get help and I in No way had time to have a girlfriend unless she was going to help me, chances of that were slim.
So this is what happened, it was coming into winter, landlord was selling the house and gave me notice to move out, I couldn't find somewhere to live as the rental market is slim here and my girlfriend left me to move back to Europe, my family isn't here so I stayed at a friend's and I looked and looked for a place or room somewhere and had no luck, then my friends wife had a baby like a month after staying there and I felt I had over stayed my welcome, so I told them I had found a place and they said thank goodness cause next week you would of had to leave because of the baby. So I left and lived in my car in winter, talk about winter blues ! Anyway so I lost my job for various reasons mostly mental health and maybe hygiene and maybe since a small town people saw me around living in my car, no1 offered to help. Anyway as time went on it got super hard, but I had a lot of time on my hands so I borrowed some gardening tools off my friend and did some gardening work for random people, went afternoon door knocking, so I got a few small jobs and medium sized job.
I did that and in the process one of the people I did some work for said I should get a van for all my tools, and I told him I'll look into that, and he said he has a mate who has a van and will probably swap it for my car, so I ended up swapping my car for a van plus cash my way and with the cash I brought materials to turn it into a camper van (Like a cheap backpacker one ), the guy who's garden I was doing let me use his tools at his house, so I built storage areas and a bed platform and had somewhere better to sleep I thought fuck it I'll do what back packers do and just drive place to place site seeing and fruit picking, so I did this and meet some cool people on the couchsurfing app. Found some fruit picking work and meet these two hot German girls who lived in a van like mine, I just told them I'm travelling my country lol didn't say I was homeless. Anyway I saved up quite abit of money, and since there isn't much to do in a van Each night I would read and building regulations and details. After my travels through the country meeting backpackers every day I found a cool town and I arranged a job building houses, I bull shitted a little and said I've done building a year and have some tools, I didn't have shit lol.
I told them I'm new to town so I can't start for a month as I need to find a place to live, so I managed to find a studio with adjoining garage, so I moved in, I went and bought some tools, apron, hand tools, skillsaw, nail gun and drill and then changed the van around alittle to make it look like a builders wagon instead of a backpacker van. Started my job, pumped out the work, and everyday I'd ask or work out what we were doing the next day and go home and read about it, then the next day pump it out like I know it all, and sometimes correct the boss on certain minor regulations. After 3 months I got a pay rise 6months another pay rise then said he won't pay more unless I complete a apprenticeship so I did that, it took 3 years and then now I'm no really good money and running a job, living in a beach front house
Meet a girl living in her van and helped her out and gave her a place to stay, helped her get a job and we ended up hooking up
I could but I have no way of meeting them ! Thanks
No I would probably give then a job thow
I do run a farm and ranch and 3 business
No I'm just a guy who comes from a good family who got very lucky and ended up taking over when my parents died when I was 14
If he managed to smell AND look good then yeah
I would if I was attracted to her.
Yeah I would, she can live with me
Theyre still a person!
Unlikely. How would I meet her?
No and if my daughter did I would kick her arse.
If he looks like leonardo dicaprio then it’s ok
Nope
Nope
No i wouldn't.
I'd do it.
Prolly not.
I don't know prolly not lol
Nope
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