Boyfriend compares himself so much?

[Anonymous]

For the past year, my boyfriend has been in such a toxic mindset - I imagine this is who he always as, I just didn’t know.

Anyways. He told me that last November he found out how much money his friend makes (his friend didn’t go to college and does phone line work - of course he makes a ton of money with that job). Anyways, my boyfriend has since then, been comparing his who life to that friend - compares himself to the amount of girls his friend gets, the activities he does, everything! It’s odd he compares himself to this guy, considering he is a cheater.

Anyways. My boyfriend compares himself to everyone else as well. It’s becoming really toxic and hurtful to me and the relationship. Especially when he talks about how he never got girls (so, basically... i mean nothing).

I don’t know what to do. He’s in therapy, but, it’s like this issue isn’t being addressed.

[ss1230p]

I can tell you what is going on here in terms of probability:
The guy doesn't find you very highly attractive- 90% chance. If he did, he wouldn't give a shit if he got girls. See it is just on the surface that guys want a lot of girls but deep down they really want the one (or may be two lol). But nobody will get concerned about not having a lot. Yes having a lot would be great if cheating isn't involved.

Guy has issues- self esteem, inferiority complex, had to face discrimination in his life. Hence has a tendency to compare.

[Asker]

He says he finds me attractive. He knows a lot of men are after me, and would love to pursue me. I take good care of myself. I find myself to be an attractive women, and I do get a lot of male attention.

I’d be surprised if he did not find me highly attractive.

But, yes. He does compare himself. I am his first girlfriend and he feels like a loser for only having one girlfriend. He told me once that a group of guys said to him before he met me “you’ve been at college for 4 years and you haven’t gotten laid? You’re gonna be the kind of guy to marry his first girlfriend”.

Mind you, he is 26. He is very immature.

[ss1230p]

Ohh lord he is under social stigma. Men can destroy other man by cooking up these "requirements". It takes a lot of pain and tears to realize that not having a lot of girls is not a bad thing. The why's are very simple for why he didn't get girls in the past (personality takes time. Confidence is built over time. Just because it took longer for him doesn't mean he is a loser) and future is also very bright as he got someone like you who is very sought after. Basically he is desirable at this point and should not judge himself because he was not in the past.

[Anonymous]

Did you ever bring that topic up? Ikd I just think communication is key in relationships

[Asker]

I have. But he doesn’t listen.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe you should take a break from him, even if it's hard, but rn it seems as if he's in a very toxic and selfish state of mind. Don't let him hurt you