This is more of a rant but me and my boyfriend met nearly 3 months back and we had a rocky start with misunderstandings cause of different backgrounds that we came from. Now after 2-3 big fights and trying to learn about each other we have stablized and we both are sure we love each other. My boyfriend had been sorta sus in the start and slowly opened up about his past which I must say is extremely rough. Includes being bullied, being part of gang briefly over 8 years back, drug issues and even getting into fights for money until meeting me. He also is doing engineering in college while im in one of the top 30 unis of the world pursuing a decent program, which i do not mind too much but sometimes it pricks me. This guy proved how much he loves me over time despite our fights and his depression & no matter how bad the fight, my refusal to give up and him wanting to make it work made us stronger. He wants to turn a leaf to a fresh start and also promised me that he will never do illegal shi for money but some part of me when anxiety hits starts questioning if what im doing is right cause he jokes with me occasionally on it. we never involved in each others biz.
He researched adhd and anxiety to understand me and also worked on improving himself to not disappoint me or his family. I just found out recently that he matched with me because he seen me on my campus back in sept laughing (and in his words the light in a dark room) when he was visiting his friend and couldnt forget me since, i find it hard to believe ( im not the best looking girl compared to the ones he dated)
While i want to support his dreams, we both dream to be together long to succeed to achieve our goals and get married (ik this is early) and i dont wanna judge him for his past cause he has determination to achieve his dreams, he cares and values his fam a lot, our values match and he's supportive but my anxiety makes me second guess cause i know my parents won't be happy with his background.
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Oh man, that is a lot to process. Relationships are never easy, especially when you come from such different backgrounds. But it seems like you guys really care about each other and are willing to put in the work to understand each other.
A few thoughts - his past mistakes don't define him. As long as he's truly committed to leaving that lifestyle behind and staying on the right path now, that shows a lot of maturity and strength of character. And you believing in him and not giving up helped him grow into someone your parents might accept.
Anxiety will always find things to bring doubts, but try not to let it control you. Focus on how he treats you day to day - does he make you feel loved, supported, respected? That matters more than hypothetical worries. And the fact he researched to understand your struggles shows he's invested in you.
Give it time - keep communicating through any issues. If he continues proving himself through actions, not just words, your parents may come around to see how good you guys are for each other. You both deserve happiness, so don't let anxiety rob you of that if you've found it. Keep fighting for your love - that's what really builds trust. You've got this!