so that’s a pic of me with my friend when she was fit and in shape and about 70 lbs lighter. Well I wanted to date her back then and she just kept me friend zoned and in the last year she started a new job and gained about 70 lbs and now she wants to date me. But I’m honestly heart broken that she didn’t want to date me when she was fit and thin. It’s not that I mind the additional 70 lbs but it’s that I just feel like why didn’t she want me before. I’m also afraid that if she loses weight she won’t want to be with me anymore. So I’m just really nervous about this and don’t know what to do. Does anyone have advice for me or has anyone gone through a similar situation?
I think your feelings are perfectly reasonable, after all as you said if she wanted you why did she reject you before? I would say that you should not go through with this but tell her why, point out why this doesn't feel right and you wouldn't trust her because again, she could have had you before but rejected you and now you feel like she just wants to use you (she will probably deny it at first but maybe later down the line she will be more honest about it). My friend knows a guy who made this mistake, he had a crush on this girl for so long then she went off got a bit fat after going with all of these other guys and got older. She then started talking to him and he thought finally she was seeing his worth. Currently he is busting his ass to support her and she sits around at home doing nothing and they have a sexless marriage because she really didn't want him, she just wanted security. Not saying this is what she is doing but its highly suspicious and without a really good explanation for her change in her feelings, I would not persue this. Either way good luck.
I wouldn’t because I would be expecting her to gain another 70. But maybe she’s had a hard time and is in a better place, wants to dump the weight, and sees you differently. If you like her personality then try it and see. You aren’t marrying her. If she’s not talking about losing weight without you prompting her, and you aren’t attracted to her new size, then let it go quickly.
No, you shouldn't date her. It's not fair to you that she used you only as a backup plan and now wants to go out with you since she's too out of shape to get anyone else. You deserve to have someone who's attractive and takes care of their appearance. And you shouldn't give her the satisfaction of having you now. She should have dated you when you first approached her if she was truly interested. It seems like she's only wanting you because she has run out of options. And who's to say she won't gain another 70 pounds? This could be just the beginning.
I know exactly the fellings on that.. my wife of 14 years was the young and skinny then when we got together a few months later she started to balloon out 😂. Only way I can think of it. So I did what any guy would do I asked her what was going on and why was she gaining all that weight so quick she said cause I was not eating but once a day and a little bit. Now that we visit your mom 😁 her food is so good. So I was like ok well that kind of sucks under my breathe... But I stayed untill she got even bigger I told her that I do have my limits and honestly I said I'm not attracted to large lady's that don't have a health problem.. if you were this way and we started dating it would be different but. Your not taking care of your self and that's not healthy or attractive...
I'm only eating at moms cause the lady of the house does not want to cook in the morning more then half the time.. she has made it very clear I even ask her from time to time wanna do breakfast some times it happens other times it dont
First , as already commented on, she is still very beautiful. Also, beauty is skin deep. And she might of had a valid reason for not dating in the past, maybe she was afraid to lose a friend if it didn't work out and now she's a little older and willing to take that chance. Don't let weight alone affect your decision. Weight put on can come back off.
Dude... Why asking us? It's YOUR choice. Food for thought though, would you like to be treated like someone's backup? Like she literally rejected you earlier now she's the one asking you out, are you truly okay with it? Do you think she will be a good partner? You have to think about it by yourself, only you know what you want and only you know her as a person so ultimately it's up to you.
Honestly she looks better with the weight man. She looked like she would crumble like a crouton under some pushing in the before picture. But you asked a question only you can answer, can you get over being rejected before? Do you want to go out with her and maybe hit that? Let go of the memories man, she isn't the person she was yesterday and neither are you. That's good, live in the present.
Not because if her size because she is beautiful either way but because of the fact of "why now?". Noone should be a consolation prize. 70lbs gained or loss your worth more than just possibility and if you're already afraid she's gonna dip out if she loses the weight then she's not the one bro. Real shit there's billions of people on this earth 1 loss won't make a difference know your worth and respect that worth.
Everyone gains weight everyone loses weight we all get ugly eventually we all get old eventually you just have to find someone with an attractive personality so your dick never goes limp lol
I agree everyone does, her size doesn't matter it's her priorities towards him. What's so great about him now that wasn't great then. Maybe she realized she was being to judgmental and is giving him a chance who know what's going through her head the bottom line is sometimes it's to late to realize you let a good thing go because of whatever reason.
She looks pretty overweight but i understand where your coming from you don't know what to do or what to say just tell her you need a lot to think over cause it's true she could go lose weight and end things with you might self i would be afraid cause some people do them things i would suggest to tell her you much rather remain friends sure this might upset her but you want to put your mind to ease.
Of course she wants to date you. Now she's desperate. This is what they do!!! The ride the cock-carousel, trying to snag a fukboyz, all the while spurning many perfectly good guys, 'till they realize if they don't get serious they'll never find a partner. So they go back through their history to see who they can re-up. It's disgusting. And she's an alcoholic. So you'll get to deal with all that nightmare as well.
She might have changed her mind about you and decided not to let you get away. I'd say go for it, but if you're gonna continue worrying about if she loses the weight, you'll lose her, then there is no real point putting yourself through it. If you spend your whole life worrying about stuff you can't change, you're gonna miss out on a lot of stuff.
in one of these photos she is wearing a ring on her wedding finger so she is not available for you any way which is good for she is to good to want you any way ! looser ! thanks
You know, even after gaining all that weight, she's still pretty attractive. I say it's a risk worth taking, especially since she wants to lose weight. One doesn't enjoy life by defensively worrying about what could go wrong all the time.
That’s probably not true. It could be a number of other reasons why she wants you now and didn’t before. If she really is shallow you will find out if you date her
She also wants me to help her lose weight and start taking her to the gym do you think if I do that she won’t want me anymore once she gets skinny again
Why are you so paranoid about her leaving you? You haven't even gotten to date and know her. Take it date by date. You'll find out what kind of person she is in time. Just enjoy getting to know her. If she's flighty, you'll find out long before she's trim and fit again.
Dude! I thought you said the weight didn't bother you. It clearly does! Then don't date her! You're not worried about her leaving you, you're worried about your not being attracted to her, which IS a serious problem.
This is a simple decision. She's too fat, I'm not attracted to her. She's fat, but I've always liked her and she wants to head to the gym with me to get in shape. Either you want to take a chance with her or you don't. If you're obsessed with not feeling attracted to her, as it sounds like you ARE, you have your answer. It's NO.
Would u like it if she based your weight or something down stairs that not be up to size. Beacuse of her weight. Yes if her personality is awesome and you click. Who cares I think she still GORGEOUS
But he specifically stated that wasn't the issue? He stated he liked her before and she rejected him, then the moment she put on weight she was suddenly interested. That was the issue. He made it clear he wasn't disinterested in her because of weight but because of the sudden change in her behavior and the only descernable difference was her gaining weight (and perhaps her not getting attention from others she got before i. e. he is her plan b). Its like a guy not paying any attention to you until you work out, lose weight get plastic surgery etc etc. wouldn't you be highly suspicious why you were not good enough before but good enough now? Same premise.
Tbh, she still looks pretty hot. I don't think she chose you because she can't find another guy. So I don't think a change in weight made her think she can't find someone else.
Dude, you are seriously mean if you are going to tell her you're denying her sex until she loses her belly! Don't date the women. Leave her and her fat alone. You unkind comments are disturbing.
@Screenwriter well I was thinking of dating her but no sex or anything until we can work that 70 pound belly off and she goes back to how she looked when I wanted to date her seems fair so she has to earn me and she will appreciate me more
Dude, you cannot put requirements on dating. You don't want to date her as is, so DON'T DATE HER. That's like telling a smoker you'll date them when they stop. And her SAYING she wants you to help her lose weight doesn't mean she will. You have to accept her as she is now and be attracted to her as she is now. If you aren't, do her a favor and leave her alone. It'd be kinder for you to tell her she's too fat and you're not attracted to her, as unkind as that ultimately is.
@Littlerhino80 I hope you're not referring to me. Sounds like Jerry is narrowminded. He liked her thin, but is put off by her fat so much he won't have sex with her until she's trim again and will make that a dating requirement! Wow.
I'm not saying she looks good, either. She doesn't. But if he feels so strongly about how she looks and wouldn't even have sex with her, meaning he's not attracted, then why date her! It's crazy.
@Flower7 ☺ true i would do that to her definitely i was going to say the other three letter word and dump but i wasn't sure how the asker was going to react.
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