Has anyone else gained weight and can’t get a date?

[Janeanelee]

ok so I’m not blaming anyone for this it’s my fault, I GAINED WEIGHT! a lot ! and I went from having every guy chasing after me and hitting on me to being the fat girl that guys just talk to. Has this ever happened to anyone I need someone to relate to please.

[Anonymous]

No girls ever chased me, so I've never really been on that side of the equation. "Gained weight" really is the wrong term, because you gain weight every day without looking any different than you did the day before. "Gained weight" is polite, but it's wrong. "Gained fat" is accurate, and while some might perceive it as rude or as a derogatory thing, it really shouldn't be perceived that way.

As for you, you should only care about how you feel. If you are content with how you look post fat-gain, then you should own it and not allow the world to bring you down or shame you about it. If you don't like the way you look now, you can always hit the weights and get back in the shape you desire to be in.

I am sure that previously, when "every guy chased you and hit on you", you must've had a tough time in public, especially at moments when you would've wanted to be alone but those vultures wouldn't let you be. Now that you no longer fit in their superficial goals, you get to see people for who they really are. They won't put on those masks any longer in order to try and take advantage of you, because you don't have that advantage to offer them any more. It also increases the value of those who genuinely approach you. In a way, this minor fat gain acts as a filter that you can use for your own advantage.

Last, but not least, you are not ugly, not even the least bit. If there ever was a doubt in any corner of your mind, I hope it's history now. You're beautiful regardless of the amount of body fat you hold. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You're still the same person on the inside you were before, and every change allows you to grow and be better, including this one. I hope you don't suffer from self-esteem issues, and chase your own goals and dreams, just like everyone should.

[Robertcw]

I LOVE THINGS LIKE THIS.

My body composition fluctuates a lot depending on how food I can afford to buy.

When I lose muscle and gain body fat the same thing happens to me. When I get lean muscle back, things go back to the way they were.

I have a neighbor who's really pretty. But over the past 6 months she suddenly got fat and I was like woah WTF!

She's losing fat again and she's looking pretty again! It's amazing. It's just a great reminder that people aren't born a certain way, with some inherently better than others. People are the results if their discipline and routines. It's really true that what we put in is exactly what we get out, no more no less. 🤘🏼

I've been loving workout routines by Chris Heria recently and ThenX workout plans by him. Did a Tabata core workout today and damn haven't worked that hard since varsity track and field. Super worth it though.

[Robertcw]

Thanks for mho. Since writing this I have crashed from my strict low fat diet. Been eating 99% lean chicken, turkey ans quinoa for like 3 weeks straight. Everyday. Couldn't take it anymore and ate a pizza today.

Already noticing new bodyfat on the face. 🤷🏻‍♂️So here we go. But I was losing muscle and strength in my arms due to low calorie foods. I would gain muscle then lose it then gain it then lose it. All within the same week.

My natural resting body fat % is quite high when not running a calorie deficit. Most likely between 15%-30%.

I got down to about 10-13% or something like that just a day or two ago. It makes my face look really good and makes me look younger too, like 19-22 age range. I enjoyed that.

But man I couldn't take the quinoa and dry chicken anymore. I would add in greek yogurt sometimes. But it was killing me.

The pizza was soo good. But while I feel better eating some fats, I do notice that the high protein diet dies provide more short term satisfaction after eating.

I'm still experimenting with nutrition to fuel workouts. I do not understand how some guys so easily slap together a meal plan that lets them get lean and large but w/e.

[Cherokeehp]

First off you’re not fat, you’re just a little thick. I promise you that your weight doesn’t have to stop you from getting a date. I’ve literally always been chubby and it’s never stopped me. You just need to learn how to dress for your new figure. When you’re skinny you can wear almost everything and it can look at least ok. But when you’re a bit thicker certain materials show off your rolls more than others. It’s important to buy clothes made with quality materials and make sure that they fit right. And when you wear form fitting/bodycon stuff you should wear a body shower and/or the proper under garments. Try a high waist jean. Try a looser blouse.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Yes 😭
I used to be the chubby girl that guys just saw as a friend.

Oh yeah they loved talking to me and hanging out, but relationships? Nope.

But I did manage to lose weight and now I'm fit! 💪

... however guys STILL won't date me, lol.

Moral of that rant is fit or overweight, it comes down to you.
I know plenty of overweight women that have no problem getting guys! Then you have fit, attractive women that guys won't come near. It's more about how confident you are and how you present yourself to others.

[Snickermarstwix]

I though you had a boyfriend

[Janeanelee]

Why do you think they won’t date you now?

[SydneySentinel]

You don't look THAT drastically different. You shouldn't need someone to like you just when you're skinnier. Sounds like someone only dating you for your looks, which I wouldn't want anyway. If you don't like how you look, work on it.

[sammy2toes]

Seriously

[OlderAndWiser]

My weight has fluctuated over the course of my adult life. Fortunately for me, the consequences for men are not as severe as they are for women.

Is there an impediment to you losing weight and regaining your former appearance?

[Account]

I can get a date. However, I don't want one. I am already exhausted as I am

[Janeanelee]

But do u have a chubby tummy

[Account]

Nope

[MissDawn7961]

I gained a lot of weight from eating at those all you can eat places with a male friend of mine named Curt ! then I got tired of eating there with Curt and not doing my own interests and hobbies ! so I stopped eating and doing things with Curt ! Then I did start loosing weight at least 30 lbs. but then my feet started hurting me from damaged nerves do to the eating weight I put on them all those years ! Now I am still over weight but I have boys and men complimenting me , whistling and talking to me so evidently I look better in this weight then I did when I weight under 100 lbs. ! Thanks

[glutendan]

Love all these guys telling you you're perfect the way you are. What would you think if some dude who had six pack abs and then got obese? Still perfect? It's obviously not the same and there's no reason to relate. You either care more about staying attractive/fit or more about eating junk food and being lazy. It's not even an insult, it's obvious and you already know it so all you're doing is seeking validation from horny men online.

I've had phases were I was chubbier because I was lazy, then I changed my goals. If you want more men to find you attractive go ahead and start working out. Getting desperate people online to validate your out of shape body isn't going to improve your quality of life.

[SexyAshh]

No because i always stay ontop of the gym and excercising.

Just lose the weight and you'll be back to your confident self.

But for now, try and wear clothes Your size and not from when you were thin, clothes that are too small and tight just accentuate your weight gain.

[Janeanelee]

Yea my old clothes basically just show off my big belly

[SexyAshh]

I have friends whom have gained weight from pregnancy. Just wear more figure flattering clothes and contour with your face makeup and you'll be good until u get back into shape

[dvc0006]

I would totally ignore you if you gained weight. However. Here is a strategy that worked for me in terms of eating more vegetables ( best thing to get healthier and lose weight) every meal start phasing in more veggies, make veggie smoothies, start adding in a fruit if you want but start phasing out the sweet things. HInt your taste buds will eventually get used yo and like bitter vegetables like arugula, watercress and dandelion. you have to try that. also start doing intermittent fasting, push your breakfast 2 hours later every day until you eat about 2 meals per day starting at between 3 to 5

[Twalli]

Also veggies are primarily fiber which you can't digest. When I had to drop 11 lbs. From 114 to 103 for wrestling I would eat vegetables and have a glass of milk every Wednesday, that wa it. So while I don't recommend what I did, you can just eat a lot of vegetables and still lose weight.

[btbc92]

That's not how you get a date. You do. t want shallow guys and you look great. Nothing is wrong with your weight! Go be friend guys and get to k ow them instead of expecting men to chase you. They won't even if you were skinny again.

[ChgzDaniel]

I gained a lot of weight when I had a baby, and lost it all because I felt unattractive. I only had to please my boyfriend but I still liked the attention you get when you are skinny. I find a lot of people are attracted to you because you are skinny sometimes, a lot of people are put off by fat.

[daydreammarie]

I like how half of the guys comments are on how you can lose weight rather, that's not what you were asking lol.

It honestly might just be the types of guys you are going after. Or that your confidence went down and that changed things. Sometimes it goes unnoticed but when you have confidence people tend to act different than when you dont. There are tons of guys who would be into your body before weight gain and after. So it might not be the weight but other factors to sum it up.

[Legendhardon]

Yes i have been underweight all ny life and in 3 years I've gained like 55 pounds i was 113 i had rheumatoid arthritis im around 5'10 plus i drink like 5 beers every day om not really concerned about my weight😂😂. And i probably won't not find a date.

[sammy2toes]

Your self confindence is lacking and you may need to change yiur mind a bit but there is always a dry spell for us all. Girls not putting out after being chased get exnayed after a while cuz it is only a tease. That may also be the problem. Guys want something easy and casual not to work for nothing.

[Passinggas]

There are a few in the office around your age and they are gaining about like you. The young free metabolism with extended natural hormones is over and now you will have to work to keep it. Your metabolism is starting to crash and now you will have to cut out booze and sweets to start and begin running your ass off and pumping weights. If you don’t, you will balloon.

[MannMitAntworten]

Your "fluffy" photo isn't bad either. Take up hiking with one of those men who just talk with you. You'll be surprised how fast that can work by going a few times a week. Then guess what, that guy who stuck around hiking with you will also make for a decent boyfriend because he was there from the start. Give it a try.

[Jrockit98]

Honestly the likely reason is not because of your weight, because you don't look big or unattractive by any means. It's likely because you FEEL like you're those things and your confidence reflects that. Guys like a confident woman and if you feel like you're too big or unattractive, then you don't come across as confident and we can pick up on that.

[Rangers]

I couldn't get a date beforehand, but I did gain weight because I wasn't medically cleared to exercise because I had a PICC line in and couldn't lift anything above 10 pounds. Also, of course holiday weight is also a factor. Now that it's out and I'm working on recovery, I look to get back to where I was beforehand at 187 and make my stomach disappear. It'll take time, but I'll get it, I learned my lesson about trying to lose weight too quickly.

[lernulo]

I don't see you so ugly, in fact you look more mature on that way.
On my opinion, your problem is more about being opened to a relation that to your weight.
About not having so many dates, I would prefer having interesting ones that many of them.

[ZackBan]

I don't know if you're just an attention seeker or just being too picky. Because obviously you're beautiful and attractive and you know it, asking this question doesn't really help you in any way. Something else is driving men away.

[Jwags]

Um, is that your before and after pic? I thought you said you gained weight? a lot is in your confidence level. If you feel good about yourself as a person, make yourself look hot as you can, guys will still hit on you!

Nothing wrong with wanting to improve your health but you should be happy with who you are!

[ivbnlknfru]

Unfortunately we live in a superficial world and most guys want the Barbie doll... Only issue is they are not Ken Material.. Just look at it this way, The guys that hit on you are the ones that really like you for who you are and not just as a object of attention... I would date you either way… :)

[lightbulb27]

if your 2nd pic is the fat you, you aren't that far off and better than many. it's not doing you any goodo ther than extra energy to burn... so time to do some HIIT, cut out the sugar and carbs and all will be well in oz.

[Onlythetruth11]

1st off, I wanna tell you that you still look great. The good thing about gaining a little weight is that whenever you meet someone that likes you.. You'll instantly know that he isn't worried about it.

[Daniela1982]

What happened? You can join the Big Girls Don't Cry Club with me.

[October808]

I love your shirt. You're not a big girl going by that photo. You're definitely too short to be a Stormtrooper though ;)

[gym4ever]

Well thats your problem, reason is obv : you gained weight. If you want every guy to chase you lose some weight. Mabye it sounds arrogant, stupid and hard but if you want every guy to chase you then you have to do work.

[that1Idiot]

I can't say I've been in this situation, but honey you look fine. Just keep that head up and give em that smile of yours

[Thatsamazing]

1) No, I haven't. I stay fit on purpose.
2) You just asked this exact same bullshit, even with these exact same two pics, a while ago. Why would the answers you get now be any different.

[driller1127]

Seriously. I think the reason you ain't getting dates. The guys are just too intimidated by you. They can see your real beautiful woman in front of them

[Anonymous]

You’re not that bad. Also you’re a girl so it is so much easier for you to get a guy to go out with on a date vs how hard it is for a guy to get a girl to go out with on a date. Also you know that you can just lose weight if you want to. Not saying it is easy to lose weight but you can still lose weight.

[s_alj04]

The only thing stopping me from getting a date is because i dont really want one rn. Other than that I consider myself fit and not ugly.

[broken_heart_at_48]

Not all men like skinny girls some like myself like some meat on the bone. Truth be told I just like women I only have a couple things I'm not into and your good trust me.

[sockandshoes]

not really. i used to be incredibly skinny (size 0-2) and gained now im a size 6-7. so gaining weight has actually helped me get dates and boys.

[Lawdog]

Heeeeeeeey thickness...

Just kidding. But, seriously, take care of yourself and this will change. We need to know you care about you, so you can care about us and maybe a little one, one day.

[Avicenna]

You're very attractive (great smile, BTW). Guys should still be hitting on you.

[Prof_Don]

You look good even with the added weight! You’re just going through a dry spell in the dating game.

You’ll bounce back!

[blondfrog]

Actually I have the opposite problem as of now. From working so hard I've lost weight and my jeans aren't big enough anymore and they are loose. I am too skinny right now.

[matthew069]

You look very beautiful and healthy you could have eney guy you wonted

[Giggletr0n]

Sounds like you are trying to shoot out of your league. Keep realistic and you won't be disappointed.

[selbaniabi]

Nope, i show my friend picture which is okay, then when i meet the girl i show my true self, which makes me wonder why the girl much happier after seeing the real me... i die also won't admit i am handsome haha

[Anonymous]

Nope, I dont need a body to get the ladies.

Frankly its probably for the best or i might be beating them away with a stick.

[User_Friendly]

Thats really the ONLY standard guys have. You dont have to have money, much social skills, height etc. Just dont cover your hot female body with fat.

[devil_8888]

Well to be honest, you still look pretty and sexy!!! Don’t lower your self esteem. You’ll definitely find a nice date or boyfriend...

[October808]

You can lose it though. That won't be a problem for you. Don't wait until you're way older.

[Hydrogen]

Weight is booty, weight is tits, come on mami, let's see if it fits 😎🤠

[Matt57]

I don’t get why you can’t get a date. You are super cute, and I value cuteness more than body.

[hellacray]

How funny I ended up losing weight when that wasn't even my goal.

Fix your diet.

[Janncis]

go to gym hit cardio and start eating right in a half a yer you will be back to your old body.

[Twalli]

You're bigger, but you don't look fat by any means. You may be slightly overweight, but not terribly so.

[Anonymous]

How much did you used to weigh and how much now? BMI too?

[Meatunnel69]

Its easy to hide weight you are even trying to do so with that second outfit un tuck your shirt lol

[AlphaMaleTruth]

It will happen to basically every thot at 30. the wall and 90% of her eggs dead.

[Screenwriter]

A female is born with 2,000,000 eggs. By the time she hits puberty, she only has 400,000. So by age 11-15 she's lost 20% of her eggs. Between age 21 to 35 she has 200,000 eggs left. That's a helluva lot of eggs and it only takes one to four to overpopulate the average American household. That's plenty of fertility to spare.

[Flotri66]

You look great. I don't know what you are talking about.

[COMMODOREII]

You don't look that bad to me. But if you want tone up try weight lifting.

[Agem123]

It has never happened to me. Why did you do that to yourself though?

[Dolemite510]

It’s not like ur hideous now 😂 just a bit of a muffin top

[bklynbadboy1]

You can't be serious right you look good you actually look better with the extra weight

[CaddyGirl1234]

Ignore them. You are beautiful just the way you are. You won't a guy who loves you for you anyway. You are just weeding out the D bags

[gimmiedatharpboy]

More weight= lack of self respect

So why should they respect you? Get off the Cheetos and hit the treadmill fatty

[QuietRunner]

I'm not sure how much weight you gained, but I still date you because you are still so sexy

[Anonymous]

I know A LOT of women who put a ton of weight on after I dumped them

[Opinion Owner]

Each one of my ex's got fat after I left them

[Passinggas]

I was laughing at this but yeah, it is true, same here. And they got huge.

[JSmuve]

Nope. Can't relate. I'm a guy, not a fat chick.