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Nice Guy: the passive aggressive clingy sneaky “she’s a vending machine, I put coins of niceness in and sex comes out”
Guys just be confident and if she doesn’t like you move on and call her out on any of her crap! Do not let her string you along!
“she’s a vending machine, I put coins of niceness in and sex comes out”
Exactly! That is so true!
Guys who expect something for being nice aren’t really nice. They’re being manipulative. Guys who are nice because that’s how they are and don’t expect anything in return are who I respect.
unfortunately those bastards took the "nice guy" name a long time ago. So real nice guys are out of luck.
I wouldn't give niceness that specific a role. There is a reason we are taught manners and niceness and it's not because it yields no reward; on the contrary it does. What matters is the person behind the niceness and in what way and how much they are using it as a tool. I. e., it all depends on what the person is expecting and why, or the context.
It always make me laugh whenever rhe term " nice guy" is brought up on G@G because invariably some woman if not more than one always makes the statement to the effect of " guys who expect something for being really aren't nice they're manipulative".
The problem with this line of thinking is women blame THEIR inability to tell the difference between the two on all guys.
So when a guy is genuinely a nice guy she looks at him with suspicion. To make matyers worse how dare the nice guy actually develop feelings.
@ChiTown33 I gotta say that is a good point!
@ChiTown33 i am suspicious when people are nice to me without a reason. It has nothing to do with gender. I think some women also interpret to much and think the worst when it comes to dating
Well kim that speaks more to culture. The problem is that Western/developed society is ever increasingly narcissist friendly. That's not the fault of nice people.
@kim45456 kim i get the point you're making about being suspicious of OVERLY nice people they usually do have an alterior motive. And maybe what you say complicates the conversation more. Because in my world when a guy likes a woman he is going to be nice to her. I mean it's just logical.
But listening to many women on G@G and online in general there seems to be an attitude of mockery for a "nice guy" at least and contempt for him at the worst. And all i'm saying is if a guy is truly a nice guy he is not to blame for said women's past experiences with so-called "nice guys".
For the record i don't have a problem wth women being suspicious especially where her safety is concerned.
Women will never be done with genuine nice guys, but they've been done for awhile with "Nice Guys" aka wimpy manipulative jerks who think being "nice" means she owes him sex. Most women are not stupid and they see right through the game.
Nice guys are reasonably nice people, and don't do it only for affection or sex.
"Nice Guys", are whiny, pathetic loser who think that they are owed sex and/or affection for every little thing.
I would agree Sir!
I'm glad!|
Thanks for MHO!
Opinion
57Opinion
I voted 'No', and that's a 'hard no'. Full stop.
Nice is nice. Good people are good people. Are all people good? No, of course not. And no person is good, or nice, all the time. That's life, that's humans for you. (And all living creatures. We have to be sometimes self-serving, or we wouldn't have survived this long.)
However, I don't agree with your defintion.
"The guy who will listen to a woman's problems, support her through hard times and cater to her needs 24/7. The guy who will break his back just to make her happy at the cost of all his treasure."
What you are describing is some other archetype. Perhaps some other stereotype. I do believe he exists. Who knows what his true motivations are. He's lonely, he's desperate, ok, but maybe he's just highly motivated, focused. Or maybe has always been flexible, moldable, adaptable to others' will. You might call him spineless. I'd call him insecure... perhaps. Whatever. We all know being attractive to others is 1 part self-confidence/self-assuredness : 1 part adaptability. (Something like that.)
I think you'd like to lash the boys/men who act "too nice", Coach. (I'm sure some people do need some good dating advice, and maybe a wake-up call.) But don't be too hard on them. at least they're not treating people like shit. at least they're still "nice." In the end, good people are the ones who can sleep at night. Not the people who0 know they've done wrong by other people. It is the sleep of the wicked? Being taken advantage of is not a fate sealed in stone. It is always changeable, always repairable. If a girl/woman treats a guy badly because she can, she is the one who will pay more in the end (I'm not talking about fate, so much as an eating away of her soul - ha. Not to put too fine a point on it.) But who cares about her. Care about the good guy, the good person, who deserves more, deserves better. Hopefully eventually he'll figure out the right balance in life, and hopefully one day he'll find an equally good/great woman, who will light his life on fire (in a good way, of course.)
I think if the good guys had a good "Balance in life" as you put it... women would respect them more. A woman can sniff out these "for themselves" nice guys like a fart in a car. It's called women's intuition.
Some women will discard them as they should but some women will hold onto them and use them for the needy little bastards that they are. So... 2020 should be an interesting year indeed. Good to see you by the way.. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to ya!
Back at ya !!!
Isn't that definition (maybe minus the breaking back) what a relationship is supposed to mean? And that men and women should be doing for one another?
Those are things that I put into a relationship. Does that make me a "nice girl"? No, that makes me a great partner.
YESSSSS! Great comment! keep em coming!
People are so busy labeling others or worrying about being labeled. People are letting society and strangers make the decision on what is acceptable or not in how they should treat their partner. Me? I say if it works for you and your partner who cares what anyone else says or thinks?
Should be interesting to see where this post goes! Looking forward to it.
A man who will break his back to make me happy is the wrong man.
I make myself happy, and he's welcome to lend a shoulder, but if he breaks himself to make me happy - that's weakness.
I don't want that.
I'd feel horrible, and he'd be broken.
Nice guys 100% all the way.
(his character. don't know what he is like as a person)
"The guy who will listen to a woman's problems, support her through hard times and cater to her needs 24/7. The guy who will break his back just to make her happy at the cost of all his treasure.
In the end... the nice guy hopes of getting love, affection and sex in return for his efforts. That's the nice guy."
First of all, that's not a true definition of a "nice guy" is! A truly nice person will be nice without expecting something for their selfish selves in return! ... Also, I don't expect my "nice guy" to be at my beck and call 24/7, that's unrealistic and too much! Sometimes, I want my privacy too!
Wow 75% of your answer was just repeating what I said. Well done. The nice guy doesn't care what you expect... he wants sex so he will be at your beck and call 24/7. It's not up to you.
He doesn't have to be available for me 24/7 for me to like him that's all I am saying. He can have his own life too. If he's available all the time, that's a bit like high school and is unrealistic. Doesn't he have a job or other priorities in life? ! Someone could be available for me 24-7 and I still won't like them!
The nice guy doesn't have any of that... no life, no priorities, he just wants sex and will do anything for you to get it.
Everyone expects something, nice or not. You expect things when you go out of your way for someone, and you know that. Whether it's something very small, so small that only you (not even the person you helped) could know, or if it's something that's a big deal, it's unrealistic to expect any human being to not expect anything at all, when they go out of their way for anyone. I think you refer more to debt collecting behaviour, which is what's often the wrong doing.
We're done with the FAKE nice guy. So many dudes claim they're oh so nice but the minute you tell them you aren't into them, they turn into crusty petty tree monsters from hell. You aren't a nice guy. You're just nice to get what you want and in reality you're a jerk.
You had me at
"crusty petty tree monsters"
You know I'm right tho
My partner is a nice guy but he's genuinely nice like he doesn't have to scream to the world that he's a nice guy. I'm devoted to him and so into him for that reason. He's just genuine and caring to people, with or without me in the picture.
Good for you! Maybe guys will see this and keep hope alive!
The world isn't black and white. You can't simply define men as 'the nice guy' and 'the bad boy'.
Sure perhaps I would fall more into the nice guy category (though I don't do it for sex - I don't get that), but back when I was dating the complaint I heard from other men all the time was 'women don't like nice guys, they like bad boys'.
I found that to be more of an excuse for something deeper, something these men weren't seeing in themselves. They thought they were nice guys, but couldn't get a serious relationship, or even a date. I had no trouble with dating, and found someone to settle with, yet I was far from the bad boy. So what was so different between us if we were all nice guys? Some of my friends, other nice guys found love as well.
So personally I think 2020 should be the year we throw out the terms bad boy and nice guy, and stop using it as an excuse for guys to whine about their love life.
The way you describe it he sounds more like a dog running after his owner and wagging his tail.
No thanks, I prefer a guy who is balanced. Nice, sure, but not to that degree... I don't need a baby sitter, I can stand on my own two.
He should still be able to make his own decisions, have an opinion for himself, be more independent as a person.
Ha ha Ha that is another good way of describing it! LOL
🤷♀️😂😂
A NICE GUY to me is a guy that is only nice when he wants something in return. Like you said he wants love, affection and sex for his efforts. And I am done with that guy.
I get it unrequited love sucks, been there done that wrote the book. It sucks but I would never be angry with the person for not returning my affection. I am a nice person because I care about being nice not because I expect to get laid out of it.
I don't want a nice guy. I want a nice person. Someone who is kind to everyone within reason. Someone who still treats people who can't give him anything in return well. These men exist by the bucket loads why would I settle for anything less?
Can I ask you a question
@curiousguy1213 sure
Could you love a guy with a average penis
@1828avaava1828 wait wait getting my popcorn!
🥊 🤕 😴 💀 ✨
@DorkVader 😂 😝 🤦♀️
Women don't want NICE GUY.
Nice guy is a turn off..
Women love risk and Passion that burns in a relationship.. Which nice guys don't give..
They Love drama and emotional roller coaster that comes with the bad Boys.. Because that's how women Count their life... And if they don't get drama they create it!..
Nice Guy doesn't dominates or ever steps up to be the DADDY that the Women wants in Life..
Ever heard the QUOTE "Women are always right." it proves the fact that most women are exclusively not capable of handling blame or their mistakes, and Neither are NICE GUYS which makes relationship a fail! Bad boy will gladly wear the blame like his sexy tuxedo and become even more SEXIER with confidence..
Bottom line.. Being NICE GUY isn't wrong, but it isn't getting you anywhere or successfully with anyone!..
from my understands and information I have. from women in my area of the world. many women say they want a nice guy. but often settle for a decent guy or jerk. due to having a hard time finding a truly nice guy who is generally nice and not just pretending to be nice. to be able to sleep with her or etc.
The jerk usually doesn't put up with there shit and from a nice guy point of view they see that guy as said JERK.
Nice guy cliche is not real. Insecure but kind guys who think girls will be nice as long as he treats girls kind, don't represent 'nice guys' in my mind. Most "nice guys" I've meet don't appear insecure, if you give them your small finger they want instantly your whole hand. Of course leads this kind of disrespect directly to rejection, after that turns their niceness in something very opposite. I have my principles.
Being nice and kind is normal way of communication, this isn't a virtue that generates automatically special attention to someone.
Some guys I've known have said they get rejected because women don't like nice guys. I can usually see that the niceness is not the problem. Some are nice, but in a way that comes off desperate and that's a turn off. Be nice, but still be confident in yourself. Niceness should be genuine, not a way to get women. A boy I knew was incredibly popular with girls. He was a really nice guy, but that's just who he was. He was nice, good looking and confident. Other guys I know were nice, but just boring. They didn't want to go out, have fun, are scared of adventure, complain about things, etc. Basically they were stodgy. Some are nice, but just weird or socially awkward. I wish I could tell them what I see, but I can't because they'll be mad at me, so I just let them blame the women.
@AmandaYVR Thanks. Yeah that's a tough one. A close guy friend cut me off because I told him his problem wasn't that he was too nice, but that he came off sleazy and weird with his non-stop sex jokes. I thought I was being a real friend by telling it to him straight, but he cut me off.
And that’s there lies the problem of the “nice” guy it’s a facade, an act that they put up in hopes of receiving love, romance or sex in return.
You should instead focus on being a man and a genuinely good person who does good deeds because it’s the right thing to do not because you might get something in return.
There ya go!
There are at least three definitions of a 'nice guy' - and it really doesn't help they are used with no clarity:
- The guy next door, who is decent, educated, good looking, and just nice (every sane woman's dream - and certainly her mom's)
- The guy who is your girlfriend (and who lets you walk all over him (this question's subject)) - nobody likes those, but women who have been treated roughly keep them until they start to feel more secure
- The manipulative a-hole who pretends to be a nice guy - women with unresolved daddy issues spend the time around those, trying to both sort out/help and fuck their daddy all at the same time (and then blame those men for their own misfortunes - because the patriarchy won't help them deal with their daddy)
I thought that guy was in the Smithsonian next to the DoDo bird already? Women want a man. The nice guy act you describe is the same as the small beetle that sneaks in while the larger beetles fight to mate. You can be a kind man, you know, if that's your thing, but seriously, stating and going after objectives seems to work a lot better.
I think the issues lies in the "Expect to have [something] in return for their efforts"
A sense of entitlement makes most "Nice Guys" actually creepy, stay away kind of guys.
So yeah, maybe they are done with them, at least it's a good reason
Ha Ha Ha
Nice guys are usually naive fools, who were taught by their mothers to be that way.
Once they have been hurt, used and rejected enough, they come to understand female nature and realise that women are not worth the effort, expense and legal liability.
The shitbag bad boys can have them. They deserve one another.
They've been done for a long time. Tge nice guy epidemic had been ongoing probably for centuries, but it only seems more pronounced thanks top the internet and information technologies.
Just trying to keep it alive! lol
Hey! It's all good! Based on what I've seen (although it's mostly anecdotal), you shouldn't be trying too hard. LOL
Personally, I'm glad I figured it out a long time ago: Women want guys who will be nice to them, but these so-called nice guys have absolutely nothing else to offer. They do look for other qualities, and rightfully so. If a guy is nice, but is not assertive, doesn't care about his appearance, and has no work ethic or ambition, all he will ellicit is a sence of "harmlessness". That is, he's passive and doesn't seem like he'll hurt you, but he won't contribute anything meaningful or tangible to the relationship.
Ha yeah no doubt!
1. I would never give more of myself in a relationship than she would.
2. I wouldn't invest my emotions in anyone I wasn't serious with.
3. I won't have sex till marriage
And expect the same from a spouse
4. I won't commit to someone who Dosnt share my faith
5. I would test her, her character, her intelligence, most of all her commitment to me.
Told someone once if i met a woman that would take me with nothing id give her the world, my world.
That's interesting. A woman told me I'm the nicest person she knows. Empathetic and caring. A month later she dumped me for an abusive bad boy. Attractiveness counts more to a woman than a nice guy very often.
That woman is treated like his personal slave now.
He drives her car and expects her to take public transport home. They work in the same suburb! She apologies for the smallest thing. She used to be confident.
Its why I want to be single at the moment. I really don't understand women...
Nice guys dont want sex before marriage, they only want a normal life. To meet a woman, get to know her, get married, THEN have sex, then have kids.
Most women I talked to dont want that. They want their sex first and I'm a nice guy, I dont want that.
Having sex first is a good idea... if your not sexually compatible then why bother.
There is no sexual compatible. That's just stupid. No to get too graphic, but if a woman can dilate down there to have a baby, then she can accommodate any man and if a woman is lets say half the length of me down there as she is on the inside, then to bad for me. I would have married out of love, love of her and love of Jesus.
Alright man... thanks for the comments.
Mr nice guy is welcome only if he has a life and is not always around like a puppy.
plenty of pups out there.
Done? I think they’re just getting started! “Bad boys” are assholes and juvenile
But so many women date them... weird I know!
Childish women maybe
I’m so over and wayyy last that phase
*past that phase
Stop having that false definition of nice guys. Its not insecure, self confidence lacking guys who try their best to look good in front of girl and treats her like a princess in fear of failure.
A nice a guy is someone who is charismatic, is loyal, not rude, is there when you need help, knows how to behave but doesn't let himself getting exploited.
So your definition is right but mine is wrong? ha ha ha... wait for it... ha ha ha ha ha
Its the definition I learned at a psychology class
What a waste of money that class was!
Oh it didn't cost anything, it was an optional class in high school
Wow lol
Well I hope I’ll meet someone like that someday 😹😹
Ha Ha Ha
Never understood the problem with nice guys. I was lucky enough to snag mine. A lot of nice guys are really shy, though.
I don't think women are done with them; I think that they're looking for them but they're just too shy at times, so yeah...
I always wanted the nice guy. Im too sensitive and dominant for anything else. I like to be the boss outside the bedroom but i also want a respectful guy who knows how to hold back from going too far. Like i do want him to speakup but i dont want someone verbally abusive
Women have BEEN DONE WITH the "nice guy" archetype since, oh I don't know, the 1950s probably. I can only imagine how many young women got moist in their panties when James Dean appeared on screen in Rebel Without a Cause (1955).
I think a lot of guys have been stuck on the Shakespearean Romeo character as a role model for romancing a woman. Nowadays it is becoming common knowledge that this poetic, whimsical approach doesn't work in real life.
I just want to add that avoiding the trap of being labeled as a "nice guy" doesn't mean you have to act like an asshole. But you do need to have mental and physical fitness as well as strength of carachter to get a woman nowadays. These traits have way more impact than sending flowers or writing poems.
a "nice guy" is an insecure guy. It is a guy who lacks confidence, has thus equated confidence with arrogance, and considers himself nice for not being arrogant. But in moments of frustration, nice guys tend to find the confidence to be arrogant, thinking that's what works. This is, of course, not nice.
From what am seeing on daily basis, No! They are not done with the nice guys. I am one of them, i am married but it didn't hold other girls from getting emotional closer to me and few asked me if we could be best friends and even more than friends and i turned all of them down because i love what i have and that's what i do.
Ment to click yes, sorry.
I want a guy who loves me, not one who is hoping to get sex if he does enough favours for me.
You know... an actually nice guy.
I don't know about most girls but I like nice and caring guys. Not lame guys or overly nice/sweet guys or the ones that fake it... I like just the right balance of naughtiness and niceness.
When you define "nice guy" that way, it sounds like shit, coach. LOL
LOL yep
To modify that, I don't see anything wrong with listening to someone who's having problems and helping through hard times. That's what a good friend does. But I think you're asking if women are done with the kind of guy who will basically be their doormat and give them anything, anytime, and any cost to themselves. So my answer is... NO... lol... there are definitely women out there who want guys like that !! They may not admit it openly, or they may disguise and deny it, but there's definitely a market for that, still !
I tried to spell it out instead of just saying "doormat" lol because in being a door mat these above things are done.
There's a big difference between nice guys and good men. Nice guys have an agenda (usually getting laid) and once they experience rejection, all of a sudden they aren't so nice anymore. Good men on the other hand handle rejection well, and while we crave physical intimacy as much as anyone else, we also crave commitment and monogamy.
A little aggression would be make Mr nice guy perfect..
Women will literally never be done with genuine nice guys. We love genuine nice guys. Genuine nice guys end up with genuine nice girls. However, all SELF RESPECTING WOMEN are done with manipulative douchebags masquerading as nice guys.
Does the nice guy do any other cool shit that turns her on? Is he kinda funny? Is he really good at fucking? Is he decent looking? Or this is a black and white story, the nice guy only ever gets her stuff. If its the latter, the nice guy prob needs to lower his standards and find desparate chicks craving attention.
So basically your demonizing nice people and teaching guys to be complete twats to get a girlfriend.
I would never!
I hope so guys need to quit being so nice and desperate
No, but i think most women in 2020 wouldn't know a good man if he was standing in front of them flapping his arms.
My problem is i know what a good women acts like. And there are so few of them left anymore.
Not because they don't have the ability to be but because life and society has the avg. Woman so turned around anymore it isn't even funny.
Who knows? I have yet to find a genuinely “nice guy.”
One day... one day!
That’s what everyone’s telling me, but I will believe it when I see it!!
Positive vibes coming your way!
Thank you lol
Which nice guy are we talking about? Like, the real nice guy or the so-called self-proclaimed nice guys?
The former will never get old. The latter should have been gone yesterday.
Hell no im not done with nice guys, we need more guys who are nice. I’d prefer a man to treat me with respect and kindness than a man with a shallow and cruel heart.
I dont think being a needy pushover ever worked lol
That's because guys who expect or think they deserve a date, a relationship, sex, etc for doing exactly what any good friend would do, are not actually nice
Women love genuinely nice guys. The truly nice guys mostly have girlfriends. The self-proclaimed "nice guys" who can't get a date aren't really nice. They are needy.
Women don’t respect a nice guy at all. Women talk bullshit about wanting a nice guy just to play with our minds. Reality is, women will have more respect for a guy who beats them n throws them down the stairs. This may sound bad, but it’s true!
Women look at nice guys as weak pussies who they can walk all over. They’ll take their kindness for weakness. That’s just how female psychology works!
There is no such thing as nice guy.
Everyone has their own kindness but with a mix of different personality.
LOL okay
agree to disagree... thanks for the comments though!
Define a nice guy. I am done with so called nice guys who are playing the nice guy till you reject them and treat you like shit after the rejection.
What do you mean by reject them?
If the guy shows his true personality after you reject them
If you’re only nice to me because you want to sleep with me, you are not truly a nice person.
What about if he wants a relationship? Should he act that way to everyone to where you couldn't tell how much he actually liked and preferred you over anyone else?
I notice the "he just wants to sleep with me" perception is far more common than thinking of and treating him like a normal person who likes you.
I have to be cautious simply because a couple years ago I was sexually harassed for two months by a guy with this mentality. He thought since he’s nice to me, he deserves access to my body. He stalked me, cornered me, and often made me feel unsafe. I finally reported him and got him fired (as he was harassing me at work and outside of work).
I think the term itself is misused and loaded with conflicting connotations. Niceness and insecurity are not causally linked!
Overly nice is though!
Women are done with the Nice Guys (TM). Not with guys who are actually nice, among other features.
I like a nice guy but at the same time sometimes I’m less attracted to them
I am a "nice guy" but I gave up dating because my back hurts from being walked all over. As they use me to get the bad dudes
They been done with it for decades. if they werent then the saying nice guys finish i been hearing it as long as i can remember. the nice guy are only good for when most women need something.
When were women busy with nice guys in the first place?
A woman will never be "done" with someone she can easily manipulate to get whatever she wants while having to deliver nothing in return. A large part of a female's self worth is defined by the number of beta-orbiters at her disposal.
Because I'd love being cared and love to give all the love I've to him in return
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