you've heard some good and maybe some bad suggestions and comments here. but your here to get an answer right?
here's something I wished I had known at your age(I know them now just wished I knew them then lol) guys like you (or any guy in your situation are generally clueless to girls in general and this info) guys in your age group (14-24) ya I extended it some. are really clueless . they have girls flirting with them all the time they just reconize what the girls are doing as signs of flirting with them.
huh...?
its called body language, most likely their could be as many as 1/2 doz girls been flirting with you to get your attention but you didn't know it,
do a google on shy girls body language read as many as you can and you'll start remembering .
ya , I seem to recall several instances of a girl doing that while around me but just assume it was her doing what ever she did as normal girl things. not knowing she was flirting.
why am I even talking and sharing about girls body language here and what does it have to do with my question you ask. well in essence your a clone of me (i'm 64) and was like that.
in the 1960's except I was shy. afraid if I approached a girl I'd get rejected and did several times which strenghtened my fear of it . but realized in many cases (after finding out what body language was ) I was approaching girls I shouldn't have and not the ones that may have actually been interested in me. . no some of these girls may not have graced penthouse or playboy magazines. but may have been pretty or cute never the less. and in general had better personalities than many of the so called really good looking girls did that many of us were or might have been attracted to.
your question implies your single you've probably never been in a relationship boyfriend/girlfriend type thing and your at the upper end of the age group (18-24) and now thinking is ther any girls out there interested in someone like me. answer is most likely but as said you didn't know it . back to the body language things which will help you find someone that's interested in you without playing guessing games you'll know almost for sure wiether they do or not and when to approach or not.
just as their are signals that say come get me there are signals that say leave me alone also .these are things that will help you the rest of your life in this area.
hope this has been helpful and informative for you . realizing this post of yours is 4 months old
i'm not seeing any updates by you under your question let us know if anything transpires if you use any of what has been suggested by others or me.
These girls are full of it. Women go for guys with status, it's a turn-on. Why do you think women f*** their bosses, chase the high school quarterback, go for guys with money, etc? It's in their blood.
Now that doesn't mean you are screwed, you just need a bit more confidence and to find yourself if you know what I mean. You'll still meet girls and still get dates, just your success rate will be less, that's all.
Keeping to yourself is a bad idea if you want to meet women, so is floating in the background. You have to make some noise to be noticed.
Whatever you do don't fall into the "woe is me" thing. Keep your chin up and get out there, you'll meet people.
I cannot believe things are this f'ed up "Women go for guys with status"? I cannot believe that people haven't evolved past this. It's not "In their blood" People choose their behavior, we are not "Dumb Animals" It's in their "subculture".
This is becoming a real problem in this country (World?) and needs to be addressed.
As for the "woe is me" thing, It is impossible not to become depressed when excluded from normal social interactions.
Yes. I agree with mssexy. Attraction doesn't depend on labels, social contests, or sometimes even looks for many girls.
What I care about is that he makes me feel something other than indifference. I hope it's happiness, but provoking a little bit of anger can work too, if you can do it correctly. If he makes me feel a range of emotion - confusion, amusement, shock, anger, joy - it's even better. It means he has a lot of things going on in his head and can deal with what happens when he lets it out. Guys who have their own thing and don't need to rely on groups to find their personalities are a lot more interesting. Guys who don't follow social rules are intriguing.
Don't think of yourself as being unpopular or in the background. Life isn't a movie or a photograph; it's a stage. Being toward the back doesn't mean anything negative; you're still important to the drama.
Thank you. What I meant when I said "correctly" in terms of making me feel "negative" emotions is if he does it in a way where I can know almost immediately that he's messing with me, or if he lets on when he sees I'm taking it personal. There's a difference between pissing me off and picking on me, and I guess you have to figure out that threshold with each girl by *communicating* with them.
People are wayyy too caught up in being 'popular' these days... and it's not just girls, it's guys too.
Personally, I think any girl would prefer a guy who was completely comfortable with who he is and who didn't spend the majority of his time trying to better his social image. Sounds like you'd fit into the 'completely comfortable' category. Keep that up! Girls appreciate it, and it actually makes THEM feel more comfortable around you too.
:)
in a way your right but in another your wrong . guys like him generally if he expresses any kind of interest winds up as just friends with the girl in most cases. quiet guys many times are shy also at times which at times makes them the loaners they are. he may also have been told or indicated he was a sweet nice guy. we know where that leads basically.which perfectly discribes his condition he finds himself in and asking the question he is. food for thought
...depends on your personality, regardless of being popular or gregarious etc..I don't want popular guys to date honestly,because there are always girls who try to bully or threat those who get near their crush.
Opinion
3Opinion
Only if they are only as unpopular and quiet as you. Don't expect a girl who is outspoken and popular to date somebody like you.
Women always want to date a man that is always better than them, they never go for anybody who is "lesser" in value than them. What does define value?: Looks, money, social status, inteligence and specially personality.
Personality wise they want somebody with humor and confidence, since they already have it low enough, why else will they want somebody with less confidence than them? They always look for them to make raise their sel-esteem any ways.
I know it soundfs harsh but that is the reality. And to be honest all the women that are speaking here I bet 100 bucks have never dated somebody like that. Or maybe they don't understand what a quiet and unpopular personality in a guy is actually like.
My dude already got me and didn't have to play a single game. I don't want to be gamed on anyways. It's a foolish practice and all guys deserve for it is an eyebrow and a load of BS back. All it takes to make a girl feel emotion is conversation. Sometimes being socially awkward equates to charm because it makes girls laugh. At least, it made me laugh and care about him. The reason girls like geeks rests on the same principle. They have something a lot of other guys don't.
The problem is a social epidemic. In the past (and still, I suspect, in other cultures) People with similar lifestyles and interests 'hung" together. But now there is no DIVERSITY OF THOUGHT! People in the past had a greater personality/interest difference. Some women liked shy guys, others outgoings and etc. "Difference" is now a "four-letter word". In the miserably conservative midwestern h*llhole that I live in it has become virtually unliveable for anyone not in a Christian "clique" cannot get a date, find work, etc. It's social fascism with midwestern values.
I have never based my liking or wanting to date a guy on popularity. If I like him...I like him regardless of being outgoing, shy, popular, unpopular, etc.
Yes,if he is attractive and has a great personality.
I would your not following the social norm is like fresh air..Everyone now a days is trying to fit in!
it doesn't matter to me. as long as they care about me, and treat me well, that's all that matters.
Yeah, these things do not depend on your popularity
not until you start making allot of money then women will all of a sudden start liking you for your personality.
No.
+1 for frankness
I'm guessing you're one of those unpopular girls who wants to become popular by dating a popular guy?
Nope. I'm one of those popular girls.
Prom queen, homecoming queen, homecoming princess (junior), homecoming lady (freshman/sophomore).
Just because a girl doesn't want to date a quiet/unpopular guy doesn't mean something's wrong with her.
It does say a lot about you that you think negatively of anyone that isn't attracted to you and think something's wrong with them for not dating your type.
It also says a lot about you that you would just say no just because a guy is unpopular and quiet. Maybe if you had a good genuine reason I would change my mind.
Lol at the deflection.
I never even gave my reasons. I just said no.
You're the one assuming my reasons aren't good.
Reminder:
It does say a lot about you that you think negatively of anyone that isn't attracted to you and think something's wrong with them for not dating your type.
Lol. Exactly. You never even gave your reasons. So I have every right to think negative of you if I like. If you're reasons are good then maybe I will chill. Lol at you repeating yourself.
lol so saying no means you can think negatively.
Hmm..this line if thinking anyone who doesn't agree with me deserves my negativity is what starts wars and fuel hate.
My reasons probably won't be good for you because you simply think by default no = she deserves my negativity and is an awful person.
You are aware you're repeating yourself?
Whatever most guys can't accept that just because she doesn't like your type doesn't mean there's something wrong with her or the guy.
Well then give me the opportunity to change my mind. Convince me. Give me your reasons, even if you think they aren't good for me.
Not sure if I should.
Usually when I give my reasons to guys who have a bitter negative anyone who doesn't think like me deserves the worst from me things don't turn out well.
And that is after I am reassured that if they dislike my reasons or my answer they won't go trolling after questions.
I know my reasons are good. I also know there are few reasons you'd accept because you're close minded.
I'm not close minded. I'm actually more open minded than a lot of people I know. It's just that when people give answers like you do without any good reasons it gets to me. I mean, every other answer is more than a one word answer. And plus I have had girls who told me they would prefer to date a loud and popular guy because they would rather date guy who fit in the same social circle as them and who are more like them.
Without any good reason? You ask 'would you' not 'why would you or why would you not'. It's odd how you expect answers you find logical but react emotional with this you deserve my worst mentality/it gets to me. A simple no is reason enough to deserve negativity?
Your line of thinking no = deserve my negativity isn't open minded. Open mindned people usually respect others opinions with the exception of hate/violence.
But whatever.
Also without good reason? Your responses clearly show you automatically assumed there would be no good reason to say no.
So it's bad for these girls to like a guy who is more like them? Shame on them for thinking of compatibility because obviously only opposites attract.
As for the same social circle it's a toss up of if it's juvenile. Some girls prefer guys in their social circle because of similarities .Some prefer it because they want a guy who they can hang out with their friends & who'll feel comfortable and enjoy their lfestyle/friends. Some are juvenile and want their friend's approval.
Yes, without any good reasons. If you had a good reason I would respect it. But if you haven't got a good reason then I would challenge your answer. If you had good reasons you would mention them. I never said it's bad for girls to like guys who are more like them. I just don't understand why they wouldn't date a guy who wasn't all that much like them. These girls actually told me that they actually liked me but didn't want to date me because we didn't fit in the same social circles.
I will admit I was wrong for assuming you just want to be popular etc, but you still haven't given me your reasons for not dating a quiet and unpopular guy.
"I just don't understand why they wouldn't date a guy who wasn't all that much like them. "
Compatibility
As for the girls who said they liked you:
they could be lying about liking you & using their popukaruty as an excuse to appear sweethearts (my girls did that. put up a sweetfront but are really sour)
look above for the reasons why social circle may be a factor.
I have good reasons I just never saw the point in mentioning them since your question was 'would you date' not 'why woud you or wouldn't you'.
Your assumption also gave me no reason to give my reasons. After all you weren't asking for one but just being hostile.
Then your you deserve negativity definitely didn't give me any incentives.
Now that you realized you're a hostile person who isn't as open minded as he thought I'm more inclined to give my reasons I just preferred if I didn't have the idea I'll end up blocking you like some many other guys on here after you troll my answers on other questions & send hate mail for not liking virgins, shy guys, quiet guys, or socially awkward guys.
Well that's where you're wrong. I don't think I'm hostile and I still think I'm very open minded. But whatever. I really don't care if you don't like whatever guys you don't like. If you don't like them then that's your choice. And I really wouldn't want waste my time sending hate mail to you. But I am still interested in your reason for not dating a quiet or popular guy which you still have not mentioned. Have you even got any good reasons? You seem awfully defensive about letting them be known
Lol I'm not the defensive one here.
You claimed it's answers with no good reasons but you already assume that any answer with a no won't have a good reason. Yeah thinking answers that don't support yours can't possibly have a good reason is so open minded.
Yeah automatically assuming the worst about a person by your 1st comment & saying they deserve negativity is not hostile.
Nice backtracking. Most people can't admit that they're not as nice as they think they are.
If you really didn't care about girl's general opinion you wouldn't have asked this question. If no answers didn't bother you why did you state that it gets to you, that I deserve negativity, why assume that a no answer can't have a good reason, why assume the worst of someone who gave a no answer as your 1st comment shows?
I have reasons. I just see no need to explain them to a guy who was hostile, assumed any answer with a no couldn't possibly have a good reason, stated I deserved negativity, and then can't see how he was hostile or close minded.
Look at your behavior and initial reaction and deserve negativity attitude and you'll see how come it is in quiet & unpopular guys. It's odd how the loud/popular guys are the open minded peaceful ones.
^ Nope that's notba reason just an observation.
Lol wow. You really are an odd one. Why is it so hard for you to give me a reason as to why you wouldn't date a quiet and unpopular guy. And you are being defensive. Why are you refusing to give me your reasons? And don't tell me it's because I'm too close minded. After all, you did say you don't like virgin guys, shy guys, quiet guys and socially awkward guys. You sound more close minded than I apparently do. And here you are accusing me of not being open minded. Lol wow.
And open mindedness isn't matched to a certain personality trait. Both quiet/loud and popular/unpopular people can be either open minded or closed minded. And don't worry, if you don't feel comfortable mentioning your reasons (whatever they are) then let's just leave it at that. As much as I love to hear your ''good'' reasons. Seems like you're trying to hide them.
It's not hard for me to give a reason.
I choose not to give a reason to you because of your behavior & refusal to see that there is anything wrong with it.
Why give a reason to someone whio was hostile, close minded, and has a anything that disagrees with me whose reason I don't deem good enough deserves negativity?
I sound close minded? Probably. But I'm not the one stating how open minded I am then refusing to see perhaps I'm not and then evading facing the facts by deflectong.
I'm not accusing I'm just stating that thinking answers that don't support yours can't possibly have a good reason is not open minded.
Funny how you can see me not dating certain guys as close minded but you thinking answers that don't support yours can't have a good reason & assuming the worst of the people who disagree isn't.
I'm aware it's not matched to a personality trait I'm stating it's funny how the loud/popular guys I know are the open minded peaceful ones because loud/popular guys usually get the jerky jock stereotype.
I/'m not hiding anything I just don't see any reason to give you a hostile close minded guy who refuses to see any fault in himself my great reasons. Perhaps if you realized you were hostile, definitely close minded, and a tad negative with the deserve thing.
I do enjoy your ASSumptions.
Funny how you still label me as close-minded despite you being close-minded yourself. You're not in a position to be judging people if you are exactly the same. And I know I'm not hostile or closed-minded so keep thinking what you want, it's not gonna affect me. And...ASSumption? Lol how lame! Being funny is not your thing.
Once again I'm not the one stating how open minded I am.
Who says I'm judging I stating the facts. ASSuming that answers that don't support yours can't possibly have a good reason is not open minded.
By your logic you can't call me closeminded either. lol
Odd how you get to judge if a reason is good enough but dare good no one should judge you especially if they have the same fault.
I'm not close minded like you and assume different answers different from mine can't possibly have a good reason. Nor do I assume the worst of those that think differentky from me or tha they deserve negativity for thinking different and not giving me a reason I judge as good enough.
My "close mindedness" is prferences it has nothing to do with assuming my way is better or that those that don't fit my tastes are worse. I wasn't aware having different tastes = close minded.
So your first comment wasn't hostile?
You didn't state I deserve negativity & that no answers get to you?
Lol I wasn't trying to be funny.
I thought closeminded was:
an inability to see different point of views- you assuming that no answers don't have a good reason
dislike of different thinkers- you assum8ng the worst & that I deserved negativity
being judgmental of others- you having to be given a reason and judge it as good enough.
So where is my closemindedness? I probably have some since according to guy having certain taste = closeminded.
Lol you sound very wound up right about now haha. Yes I think you're close minded (whether you are or not, you certainly sound like it) and I'm not close minded. But like I said before, think what you wanna think. You don't know me after all so if you think I'm close minded then so be it. It doesn't have any impact on my life. You're writing all of that just to prove what? That I am actually close minded? You write all of that and yet you STILL haven't mentioned any of your reasons. Come on now.
Not wound up. I'm amused. I always find it funny how it's the quiet/unpopular guys who think they are so open and nice.
So how do I sound close minded? Because I prefer to date those I'm attracted to?
But you you're open minded:
an inability to see different point of views- you assuming that no answers don't have a good reason
dislike of different thinkers- you assuming the worst & that I deserved negativity
being judgmental of others- you having to be given a reason and judge it as good
Yep I typed all that because you still can't see your own faults. I'm honestly starting to think that girl was just putting on the sweet front and using her social circle as a nice way to say I'm not interested.
Funny if you actually cared to read my posts & reflect on your comments you'd see getting an answer from me is easy. But you're a quiet guy so like most in my experience...
Oh yes here we go again. You're experiences. You seem to have a lot of experiences. I asked to get an answer from you. I even gave you the opportunity to make me change my mind. But you didn't want to take it. You can't even get past the fact that I apologized for throwing negativity towards you. Absolutely no insight into your answer. Everyone gave insights into their answer so why won't you give me yours? Oh yes, that's right, I'm ''hostile'' and ''close minded''. Pfff whatever.
I even gave you the opportunity to make me change my mind.
Yeah with no apology for the hostile comment or you deserve negativity.
Oh yes 'tell me your reasons so I can see if it's good enough because any no doesn't have worthwhile resons.'
Oh yeah your opportunity is so graceful.
It doesn't have to be graceful. If you're not going to give me reasons then I will assume that your reasons either are not good enough or you don't have any genuine reasons. Let me guess, more criticism coming my way. Ah well.
You can't even get past the fact that I apologized for throwing negativity towards you
lol there was no apology.
Unless no answers get to me is an apology. Yeah that's an excuse. Like oh I broke your window well the ball slipped.
I thought apologizing was realizing you done something to offend the person & saying sorry.
You never admitted that anything you have typed was close minded or hostile. Instead you just told me I was close minded and therefore had no right to judge you.
I'm not saying that it has to be graceful just don't try to make it like you gave me a chance. You gave me a demand and called it an opportunity. An opportunity is giving a person a chance at what they want.
/No criticism here. My only 'criticism' is that:
your first comment & you deserve negativity is hostile
you are not as open minded as you state you are
an inability to see different point of views- assuming no answers don't have a good reason
dislike of different thinkers
judgmental
I called you close minded after you accused me of being close minded. You can't accuse me of doing something when you're just doing the same things as well. Yes I realize now there was no aoplogy, my mistake. But I don't even want to give you one now. Keep your so called ''reasons'' (if they even exist) to yourself. I don't care about this question anymore. I KNOW there are girls that like quiet and unpopular guys. I'm done. Bye.
I don't care about the accusation. I'm telling you that you didn't apology just deflect and tried to invalidate my thoughts by saying oh you're close minded too.
I don't care if you give one. You aren't the type to do so and your oh you're the same so you can't talk, you deserve negativity, and deflections show that.
Yeah there are girls who like quiet & unpopular boys and girls who don't.
The reasons girls won't like you has nothing to do with those 2 traits.
Lol I love how you claim nonexistence of my reasons :)
Goes to show that not only do you think by default reasons to no answers aren't good but that any girl who says no doesn't have one. She's probably shallow/close minded or prejudice right?
Yes so open minded.
Of course girls have got to like quiet/unpopular I mean there's no good reason not to. lol
I bet you think there are plenty of good reasons not to date a loud/popular boy. ^-^
Yes.
yes
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