Girls, What would you think about your boyfriend being friends with a girl he slept with?

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to get some opinions.

So I have a guy best friend at uni, we went on a couple dates and had a friends with benefits situation for a little while, I also developed feelings for him which weren't returned. However, he is my closest friend and I don't want to lose him, but he's met a girl. I'm just wondering, would you feel uncomfortable if your boyfriend was friends with someone who has a history with him like I do? I'm worried he's going to cut me off for her, which would really upset me but at the same time I don't want to ruin a potential relationship

He did say that he wouldn't be with a girl who couldn't handle us being friends but it's very easy to go back on that when you meet someone you really like

[btbc92]

And again, this is why I tell people, date a friend, not a stranger you don't know. I would never have that type of person for a boyfriend. You know you want to be more than that, just tell him instead of using sex as a way to get you to want you as well. For most men, sex is just sex. How he treats you now, he will do to other women. Why would you even want to keep somebody like that as a so-called friend, let alone have SEX with this guy and you're nowhere near dating him? Your make poor choices here. All the more reason I don't believe in premarital sex because you don't know who you will end up with or what they've done. And why so many have sex friends with benefits doesn't work. Your not friends. Your sex partners now. Once you cross that line you can never go back. You can only try and pretend your just friends. Which, again, also doesn't work.

[Asker]

I have told him and we're no longer friends with benefits. We don't talk much anymore and I'm not sure if that's the result of him seeing another girl, who I think is different, he seems to actually like her and wants to date her rather than just sex, which is the relationship he has with a lot of his female friends.

I don't think he's done anything wrong in just wanting sex w me, it was my own fault for developing feelings for someone who stated they would never feel the same. I suppose I just wanted him to still be my friend even after all we've been through but I'm not sure that's possible with his new girl on the scene

[btbc92]

That is wrong, because now you're connected to a person you're not married to legally. You know marriage and spiritually and now you want something you can't have physically. No you know you don't want me to be your friend, you want him for everything of yourself, because now you have to text with him. Then when you're with someone else, guess what you're going to think about? Certainly not the one you're having sex with. Maybe it was your fault for developing feelings for somebody like that. But at the end of the day you still chose to have sex. And there are consequences that must be paid with it. Because how he treats you is how he treats Every Other Woman unless it's convenient for him. Which makes it even worse, because now you're just a torso away to him. You can't be friends with that. So now he's going to be very hard for you to find somebody that's more stable and actually is going to care about you.

[trickycrossiant]

I would be uncomfortable with that. I would not want to waste my time in a relationship with a man who’s going to not fulfill his duties and stay faithful.

[Asker]

I understand that. But why would having a friends with benefits history with a friend mean he's unfaithful? Just curious

[trickycrossiant]

It’s most likely. It’s more of probability.