How are there so many Single People, when there SO MANY single people?

Question

I meet so many awesome people who are really lonely.. Why can't they just find each other 🤔😐😔 💕🍀🍀🍀

youknowbetter · Accepted Answer

One thing about dating is there so many moving parts. So many variables.

As a man I know I’m accustomed to getting results at working hard at work, school and sports. I bought a townhouse 4 years ago and have made over $35k in improvement updates. I like seeing how it gets nicer and nicer as I put in more work and effort.

Unfortunately this is NOT how dating works. A can always man put a lot of effort into improving himself. Women will like that. But if he puts too much effort into pursuing women it comes off as needy, insecure and desperate. He has to take initiative by approaching, setting dates, first kiss, first move and sex (something way way too many women take for granted).

But women are turned on by mystery and challenge. The woman who liked me the most were almost always the ones I felt “so so” about. I liked their personality and they’re okay looking. But I didn’t care either way if they liked me or not. So there is this whole push pull challenge bs game guys have to play. Truth is I’ve never been good at it. But I have gotten better at developing my intuition as I got older. I don’t get surprised often nowadays. Problem is now have much fewer options. I don’t live on a college campus with thousands of single girls. I’m still in excellent shape (have 6 pack abs). But let’s face it I’m not the male model I once was at 24.

“You do everything right when you got low interest level” -Doc Love

bookday · Accepted Answer

The reason I say "other" is because I think that it's a mixture of a few types and some others.

It could be bad timing, it could be bad location, it could be bad self-esteem (self-confidence), it could just be "I'm just not ready for a relationship" or they could have very high standards for their SO.

The thing is, with dating, there is no right timing. Mainly because it depends on the person confessing and the person receiving the confession. Maybe they confess and the wrong time or the other party is not ready for it. It could be either or both. It all depends.
Location wise, it is relatively difficult to confess to someone in the perfect place, which also leads to whether it is the right time to confess.
Self-esteem wise, the person who will be giving the confession must be confident in themselves before being able to confess, which also ties in with the timing. They could take a long time to decide to confess, only to find out that the other party already has a SO or is not ready for the relationship.
Some who have high standards would rarely find the one for them because if the majority of their standards are not met, then they can't date, which to me is ridiculous. But, it's up to the person to choose who they want to be with.

Tiffany_Taylor_Made · Accepted Answer

Many reasons. Some people:

• Are too shy to enter relationships
• Could be suffering from depression
• Enter relationships that don't last long
• Follow a religion or other beliefs that forbid it
• Have difficulty trusting other people, which could be a result of bad past experiences, over-thinking situations, and/or mental illness
• Have insecurity issues regarding their body, overall appearance, and/or personality
• Have irrational fears of things that can be solved or worked around such as STDs
• Have standards that are too high for potential partners to meet
• Might have given up relationships based on their own bad choices in partners
• Might have suffered a genital injury
• Might live in a location where not too many single people are available
• Might not be appealing to the majority of the opposite sex
• Might only generalize and see negative characteristics in the opposite sex
• Misplace their priorities
• Simply have yet to meet the right person
• Simply want to be single

lovejyj · Accepted Answer

There's a difference between being alone and being lonely. Just because someone is single, doesn't necessarily mean that they're lonely. For example, i love myself so much and like to explore the world, traveling going to events so much that i don't see myself with someone else. I love being alone where i don't have to keep checking my phone to see if he called or texted me, or to see if he's home safe. I have time for myself, treat myself, buy myself whatever i want, go wherever i want. I'm alone, far from being lonely. Matter fact, I'm thinking about marrying myself 😤

Genie23 · Answer

Because not everyone is looking for a partner and they are just not ready for a relationship. They want to concentrate on other stuff like education, work, etc. While some have fear of commitment and others just haven't reached out enough to find their Mr/Ms. Right.

I'm one of those who simply does not want to even go out as I've got to focus on lot of other stuff as of now, so it won't be fair to even date as I won't be able to give him time and make him happy.

ManOnFire · Answer

Actually, I will be in the minority and say that I think there are probably more people in a relationship or just having a fuckbuddy than there are single people, yeah.

aWes0MeNeSs · Answer

Any of the above, plus about a million other reasons, lol. It just depends on the person.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

That's a great multiple-choice list. I wish the polls on here allowed people to select more than one option. Because I really believe, for many people, more than one of those things applies.

For example: for me, personally, I can say that all six of those factors apply. But one that I thought was particularly interesting was the "bad attitude" one. Because I have to admit that that has been true on occasion. Sometimes, BECAUSE of my bad luck and bad self esteem, it causes me to become discouraged and therefore have a bad attitude. And my bad attitude contributes to the "bad timing" aspect. Because I could see a pretty girl and be attracted to her, but I walk right by and ignore her -- sometimes even with a scowl on my face -- just because I'm nervous and depressed and not in the right mindset to be able to handle the situation. (And that's beside the fact that I'm not a very outgoing person in the first place.). So it becomes a vicious cycle, in a way. So I do not claim that I am not at least partially to blame.

Reaperbot666 · Answer

more guys are opting out of relationships. because the legal system is curved in favor of women roughly 70/30 when it comes to relationships. at least in some first world countries.

a judge is more likely to believe the woman's side of relationship troubles then the man's

if you co-habitat (live together) for a long period of time. many parts of the world view you as common law marriage. which in many places there is an option to file for a type of divorce.

if your married 3 of 4 times the judge rule in the woman's favor if you get divorced.

over 60% of first time marriages fail. of those 60% that fail more then half are filed by the woman.

if you have kids together. 60% of the time the woman gets full custody. and the guy get limited visitation while having to pay support until the kids are 18 or 25 if in collage. if you 30% of the time the partners have shared custody of the kids. 10% of the time the guy has full custody of the kids. typically only happens if he can prove she is unfit to be a mother or primary care giver.

whomever ends up having to pay child support can't or won't do so. they most often get put in jail. but once they are out again still have to pay off the debt from before going to jail and from while they were in jail.

FriedPickles1218 · Answer

I just haven't met anyone yet where there was mutual attraction/interest between us. It's hard. REALLY hard. How ever hard you think finding someone is as a woman? Triple it for a guy. But yeah, it's hard for everyone. Dating would be easy if people would just take anyone. But that's not the way it is...

People have standards. You'd be surprised at just how hard is to...

1. Find someone your physically attracted to.

2. While also having a compatible personality with said person. Etc... etc...

And online dating does NOT make it easier. It makes it harder. But there's not many other options right?

I know that 9x outta ten, whichever woman I choose to contact is gonna have a whole buffet of other guys to choose from along with a blown up inbox chock full of messages.

Now, it may still be hard for the ladies, because just because they have a lot of options doesn't mean they're quality ones. But my point stands.

I have a feeling that there's going to be a TON of age 30+ single men and women of this millennial - gen-z generation in the future. Myself included possibly (hope not) but I don't really blame anyone for it.

JimboGB · Answer

It is an extremely complex situation. You are dealing with the consequences of biology, anxiety, confidence, expectations, the difference in mortality, goals, self-esteem, many people come with a lifetime worth of baggage and mental health issues you can't simply ignore. Cut a long story short, dating is hard, the responsibility that entails is heavy.

Then we all have faults that others don;t find attractive, that maybe we could be doing better to improve on before entering a relationship. I have met many women that seemed to have very little about them, they came across as extremely boring and took life too seriously ( I know this is subjective ). Predictability is a deadly sin while dating. Contrary to what many on here would have you believe, the majority of people are traditional in one sense or another, which sets standards many fail to meet. You always have the modern economy factor, it isn't practical as it used to be for one paycheck to provide for a family, therefore forcing the hand of people to work longer hours and have less time for personal growth. I could go on but I would be typing forever. I personally feel cities are too overcrowded which makes us see other humans as an obstacle or an issue, how do you give so many people freedom ( it is a very powerful question )

longtimenotagoodtime · Answer

People are too picky.
Its true you don't have to "lower" your standards. But some people get stressed out over small irrelevant details and then they end up looking to difficult and nobody will bother with them.
I have 2 female friends that are both good looking and yet always complain about being single. But then when we go out they come up with every excuse under the sun why a guy is not right one. Arms to big/arms too small, too fat/too skinny, too much muscle/not enough muscle, too tall/too short, wrong eye colour, don't like their clothing etc etc etc etc etc etc.

Bluemax · Answer

Just because someone is awesome and single does NOT mean you'll be attracted to them. Surely, VIVANT, you've met awesome, single people you're not attracted to.

I've met hundreds of single, awesome women... who I was not, and could never be, attracted to.

katha0706 · Answer

Maybe they just don't fit together there are so many factors which play a role in finding a person who love you. Some find them really early on and some maybe don't find them or find them really late. Don't forget that some people are rlly happy to be single and don't have to have boundaries and stuff like that.

ShortCircuit · Answer

It's because the vast, vast majority of people desire partners that have higher social market value than they, themselves have. A relationship doesn't occur until two people either raise their social market value by bettering themselves, or lower their standards.

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

The pardoxial question🤔❓
Because they are both awesome them will have ego but what's the percentage awesome people meeting awesome people in the big pool they can't find each other and some people don't have choice and some don't want responsibility they just want to be together and move on

archiz · Answer

It can be a combination of all of that.
I think if it's meant to be it's meant to be.
Meanwhile the person needs to be working on himself, finding ways to better himself and self satisfied.
You don't need a partner to be happy.
I was happy single and now I am happy in a relationship.

Meatunnel69 · Answer

You gotta be around them and people like them. If you work for a living and have to pay bills this takes most of your time. Not everyone can work in an office setting surrounded by cute interns and secretaries, some of us work in fields surrounded only by men.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

I’m not lonely, but I am single. I get the impression people want to be involved but actually being involved scares the living shit out of them so they avoid being involved at the same time. Or, the get involved and decided they prefer to be single or just not done being single ‘yet’.

JSmuve · Answer

Because the single people aren't interested in dating the other single people. They're either not attracted to the single people they meet, don't put effort into meeting enough single people to be attracted to one for various reasons, or are just not looking for a relationship.

Likes2drive · Answer

You have a great point, seems like people are very picky with unrealistic standards and are just staying single waiting for the right one. I’m always single for years at a time and I’m flexible with age range and race so it’s just bad luck and location

nelly83 · Answer

Here’s the only answer:
lack of social life. When everyone is plugged into their smart phones 24/7. You can avoid small talk or getting to know a neighbor by pretending to be on your phone. Your social skills deteriorate along with your confidence to interacting with others.

believe it or not, having a social life is VITAL to dating. Folks who tend to have a hard time finding someone , usually do not have good social lives. This also explains why people in their 30s have such less dating action compared to their 20s. They no longer want to party or go out to clubs or hangout with friends on a weeknight.

Hitting on random girls at a bar is one of the least effective ways to find love and it cannot be substituted for having a great social life

David92506 · Answer

I enjoyed reading your question and gave it a "thumbs up."

It seems to me that most people are self-absorbed and self-centered that they can't see beyond their own nose unless they want something from you. Nowadays people are ultra-sensitive and toxic. When they look in the mirror all they see is good and if something goes awry, they blame others.

In addition, we live in a hook-up culture where it's expected that there will be sex on the first date.

Many people don't want to date and put up with all this BS. It's just not worth it. They believe they are better off being single.

blank_expression · Answer

There are many factors in play. Overall, human nature is the most self-centered self-absorbed species and is only motivated by need. Women have declared they don’t need men and see that emotion as a weakness while men have retreated from the concept of the state/corporate owned and operated woman. The society and the government have pitted the sexes against each other and neither side trusts the other. The relationship/family endgame has been erased for a large cross-section. Sex remains a strong life force but that seems to becoming overtaken by mass celibacy that is rapidly on the rise. Most males and females have compensated by becoming absorbed into technology and superficial pleasures. That is it briefly, but the complexity of it is still not completely understood by the so-called experts that tend to analyze based on political motivations.

gotc147 · Answer

I picked bad luck personally.

There are a lot of factors, a huge one being people just aren't looking for the same things, such as a serious relationship. Another issue can be work related. I actually read a blog post by a sex worker who was surprised that her clients were mostly attractive or funny or wealthy or some combination of the three who paid for sex services. She expected them to be losers but the reality was they just didn't have time for a relationship. Me personally, I'm currently training for a new career path.

A lot needs to line up right for a relationship to happen, let alone a successful one.

lifelearner011 · Answer

Life seasons and compatibility. Is not the same to be "20 something" and to be working towards a goal that isn't related directly to having a partner or a family.
As well.. there might be people who understand that "period" yet are looking for someone whos' willing to make space for them (make space for love).
I'm not a robot I have feelings yet, in my case I've learned to accept each time has its rewards and while some people at early time find their "love" match and are working towards the dreams that isn't much the case for each person and that is ok as well.

SirRexington · Answer

I'd say location, self esteem and luck are the bigger factors. Most people who are attractive and nice are already paired up by age 22 and are incredibly quick to find another if that partner fails. For the rest of is it's about lack of choice based on location, a low self esteem from a bad history and being unlucky.

For me it doesn't seem to matter if being myself or adjusting my personality slightly to the person or environment. It doesn't matter my approach and it doesn't matter how confident I am. I am simply unlucky for some reason. Girls just don't like me. This gives me a low sense of self when it comes to deserving a companion.

ZackBan · Answer

Well my reason has to do with the Atlantic ocean 😊

But in all seriousness. It takes a little more than being single to actually date someone. There are lots of things that need to click before people actually bother to put in the effort.

Zweihander · Answer

I think its the result of telling people that its their fault for not being in a relationship. They fail once or twice and the internet loves to say "its your bad attitude" or "you're not entitled to a relationship maybe work on yourself first." But the thing is there's a million reasons as to why a relationship didn't work out. All the dickheads on the internet do is try and tell people they're wrong. So now you have people like me. I've been told I have a shitty attitude and negative mentality for so long that I eventually developed them. In fact I think I'd rather literally kill myself than be in a relationship with 99.8% of women, so congrats.

Kinogo · Answer

"we accept the love we think we deserve" - some people have very low self esteem or cynical towards the idea of dating.
Some people don't want to date due to trauma/not their priority in life/enjoying their single life/busy in the industrial world (their job)/are struggling socially/they don't want to and are happy.
The world has evolved to the point where you don't have to have courtship and (if couple decides) to have a child (biologically or not) to survive - mainly for industrial life style. Famine are more likely to try gain courtship (not always ethical ways...) to have companionship and children cause that's survival.
I don't know if there's more single people out there or more people in relationships.

_SOARER · Answer

Younger people are taught to go out there and "experiment" or "Try new things"
I think its a cultural shift. A lot of younger people dont know how to have a healthy relationship. But thats because their parents probably didn't set a good example and in my opinion its getting worse.

Even I am still figuring it out. But I think men and women need to respect each other more, so that they can be friends first. If you can be friends with a man or woman first, then you can develop romantic feelings later. I think thats the best way.

JackSmy · Answer

Distance! I find a lot that I really connect with, but they are thousands of miles away, or married, and quite a few, lesbians, in a relationship!!

aicarg · Answer

Because even though they're awesome in their own individual ways, they may not be compatible to the other awesome single person.

PeacefulRainDrop · Answer

Thats when I connect them :) I connected Jen and Josh because they both talk in circles.. both hopeless romantics

someginger · Answer

I would say its all of the above plus with most dating happening online its much harder since its window shopping online and if you can't look good in a picture then your fucked

ThisAndThat · Answer

It's due to the globalist UN agenda 2030 and feminist. Feminism aka communist Marxism has reached it's goal in the west to destroy children men and family and so went relationships for certain. Here in the US, the west, marriage cohabitation and dating are dead. Most men in here in the US the west have taken the red pill with a good majority either not admittedly or admittedly MGTOW. Me as of this August I'll be an official 34 year MGTOW Monk and I've met guys in the Manosphere that have been MGTOW Monk's longer than I have. It wasn't what I wanted out of life, it's just the irony in how the facts in life went.

Shark_61695 · Answer

I think for me it is a case of giving up... I just can't picture myself in a relationship. I don't even have friends I enjoy seeing and spend all my time isolated even from family.

likelyOK · Answer

Please explain the people who said location? Is the place they live isolated, racist, I can't think of other reasons?

RawIronhide · Answer

I think it's timing, intrest, and priorities. People have forgotten what is really important and they won't see it until they look back.

Quackthulu · Answer

Are you under the delusion that dating is just the process of taking two single people and sticking them together?

Madhatter920 · Answer

Combination of bad attitude and lack of effort, I think. They're too picky to like someone who is just average and too lazy to improve themselves to be more than average. Combine those two together and you get a bunch of people who aren't good enough for each other.

Aislin9 · Answer

People just need to be real. Imagine it's the last day on earth, you're going to die tomorrow and you want to spend time with someone great. Love. Be yourself, tell someone your fears and weakness and what makes you unique. No one has time for arrogance and games.

DizzyDesii · Answer

You gotta send em eachothers way 🤣 but so many single people have diff values/morals and so many are into hookup culture while others want something serious. We keep runnin into the opposite of what we want 🤦‍♀️ Aside from looks, #OppositesDoNotAttract

Lynx122 · Answer

Because a lot of people are not good at the "game" of dating. Having qualities is good but if you don't know how to sell yourself well and know how to get what you want from people then it's tough. And many people don't wanna settle for what they can have either.

1stranger · Answer

Hey Viv 🤩This photo is magnificent.
The photo, the different shades of green, the red leaves on the left, the sky, the blue that appears through the branches, all of them are fascinating.

I hope this fascinating harmony in nature is reflected in single hearts.

Jjpayne · Answer

@VIVANT I wonder the same thing... Only I'm on the lonely end of that...

EmbraceThePain · Answer

Lots of variables, includes all of which you’ve listed.

Anonymous · Answer

For me, I’m single because I don’t know who is single and available and who is interested in me. I want to meet a handsome guy who meets my standards but I’m not sure who is actually single. And honestly, most men are never 100% single so you always feel like your in competition with other whatever other women that man is interested in. Or, if he is completely single sometimes they are still in love with their ex. If I met a man who was all about me, I wouldn’t want to be single anymore. But often that’s not the case

Anonymous · Answer

Women want men to act like women but yet not be a woman. Confusing as fuck. They also have found that in a lax society in regards to sex they can get laid via a quite chat in the internment with someone that is hot but that person can actually do better so they actually wouldn’t marry her. But this spoils her view of potential mates and she is disappointed in them when she should actually be disappointed in herself.

The guys aren’t aggressive and play video games and do less at growing their career. They have forgotten about the outside forgot about chasing women and have settled in to a quite indoor life.

TadCurious · Answer

All I know is that I would like to have a picnic in the photo accompanying this question. 🌳🌿🍂

GnarCute · Answer

god this is the most pretentious question i've seen today there are single people because people are too picky or judgmental

On average girls aim for people way above their level

On average guys are turned down by people on their level

On average guys/girls are scared of being cheated on again and being heart broken.

Jfc

snowboarder720 · Answer

Bad motivation. After going through a few relationships I’ve started to hate small talk more and more. I’ll face it, I need to sound interesting to get someone interested in getting to know me. Sometimes the other person doesn’t sound interesting at all to me either so my motivation getting to know them plummets.

Unit1 · Answer

My experience is that many people only care about themselves, so that's kinda unsurprising when the good ones remain single for quite a long time.

Get this - Women literally ignore me after I answer their question "Do you have instagram?" with "I do not have any social media. But we can keep in touch in Telegram/Signal/Discord".

🙄

poneglyphs · Answer

I'm single because I have never found anyone that likes me but if I do they are always in different countries or states but no one near me. I have been lonely mostly because everyone I know is in a relationship or have friends with benefits. I have neither and I haven't gone on my first date at all yet.

KingdomForAKiss · Answer

All of the above are possible factors. I think it varies by the individual.

devilman666 · Answer

@hi_it_is_me123 is a toxic bitch who wants to take advantage of men. She wants a sugar daddy to take care of all her problems and never question her in any way. She is a sexist woman who thinks men should expect sex and nothing else from a relationship.

serious · Answer

What are you trying to ask here? Of course there are lots of single people and some are single because of bad luck and some are single because of their own choice, because they want to remain alone and single till death.

Even I have always been single and wish to stay single till death.

SaraSmithishere · Answer

I'm single because I don't find many men I'm attracted to. I was born and raised in LA but most of my friends have left and the men I meet here are either (a) name droppers (b) obsessed with their appearences (c) have a strong desire to "make it" as an actor and are a little too old for that dream. Plus, people drive everywhere and it's tough breaking into a social group.

Anonymous · Answer

Welcome to the Decline of the West. Relationships are dead, instead we are made to live atomizing lonely lives disconnected from human romance and enjoyment of the company of others. Dating apps, hookup culture, the decline of traditional values, and the collapse of society have led us here. If you think it is bad now, just wait.

Anonymous · Answer

Because many are like me, they cannot accept reality. I am broke, old, no job, had a DUI, in jail for child support. I was working on my BS in Medical Technology but I am out of money. I was living on school loans trying to go to school with a shattered ankle., not able to work. My home is paid for, although my fuckin ex-wife is half owner. I am educated and have much potential, but females want a man that is productive now. When you are fucked up all you attract is other fucked up people. I know I am not going to find a lady that has a good job, is attractive, takes care of herself, not a drunk, or on drugs, has a good life with the understanding of Mother Goose. It going to happen. You cannot drink 12 year old Scotch when you have Pabst Blue Ribbon money. So my problem is reality, I don't rate what I desire. So I am single.

LeroyJenkins · Answer

Having way up high standard sometime and thinking that someone perfect is gonna come along one day so they refuse anyone else, being shy, low self esteem, no experience with dating and flirting, I can count more but I think that these are the main things.

QuestionMark19 · Answer

People's standards are higher now than they used to be. The internet has played a big part, as well. The internet and technology/ TV series at home allow people to be more self-entertained than ever. So to include someone in our lives is more hassle than it was 30 years ago.

For me personally, I actually refuse to play the 'Dating game' As in... I refuse to play by the rules society tells me to follow, when it comes to attracting women.

theCobbler · Answer

I chose other, because I know why I'm single ; because I'm not willing to compromise what I want !

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

It's bad luck and people set their standards too high

How are there so many Single People, when there SO MANY single people?

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How are there so many Single People, when there SO MANY single people?

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