I meet so many awesome people who are really lonely.. Why can't they just find each other 🤔😐😔💕🍀🍀🍀
Bad timing
Bad location
Bad luck
Bad attitude
Bad self esteem
Bad effort
Other
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LOL this showed up in my feed I forgot I asked it. I was thinking “ yeah 💯 unknown person, I wonder the EXACT same thing...” I was about to respond to the question 😂😂
So funny seeing yourself younger and not knowing it’s you... It was baby-gag me 🥲
Thanks for answering you all 💕💕
How are there so many Single People, when there SO MANY single people?
One thing about dating is there so many moving parts. So many variables.
As a man I know I’m accustomed to getting results at working hard at work, school and sports. I bought a townhouse 4 years ago and have made over $35k in improvement updates. I like seeing how it gets nicer and nicer as I put in more work and effort.
Unfortunately this is NOT how dating works. A can always man put a lot of effort into improving himself. Women will like that. But if he puts too much effort into pursuing women it comes off as needy, insecure and desperate. He has to take initiative by approaching, setting dates, first kiss, first move and sex (something way way too many women take for granted).
But women are turned on by mystery and challenge. The woman who liked me the most were almost always the ones I felt “so so” about. I liked their personality and they’re okay looking. But I didn’t care either way if they liked me or not. So there is this whole push pull challenge bs game guys have to play. Truth is I’ve never been good at it. But I have gotten better at developing my intuition as I got older. I don’t get surprised often nowadays. Problem is now have much fewer options. I don’t live on a college campus with thousands of single girls. I’m still in excellent shape (have 6 pack abs). But let’s face it I’m not the male model I once was at 24.
“You do everything right when you got low interest level” -Doc Love
Hmm, that's funny you say that women are turned off by men who pursue. I actually find that attractive because it's more direct. I prefer to be the challenge and the mysterious one.
The reason I say "other" is because I think that it's a mixture of a few types and some others.
It could be bad timing, it could be bad location, it could be bad self-esteem (self-confidence), it could just be "I'm just not ready for a relationship" or they could have very high standards for their SO.
The thing is, with dating, there is no right timing. Mainly because it depends on the person confessing and the person receiving the confession. Maybe they confess and the wrong time or the other party is not ready for it. It could be either or both. It all depends. Location wise, it is relatively difficult to confess to someone in the perfect place, which also leads to whether it is the right time to confess. Self-esteem wise, the person who will be giving the confession must be confident in themselves before being able to confess, which also ties in with the timing. They could take a long time to decide to confess, only to find out that the other party already has a SO or is not ready for the relationship. Some who have high standards would rarely find the one for them because if the majority of their standards are not met, then they can't date, which to me is ridiculous. But, it's up to the person to choose who they want to be with.
• Are too shy to enter relationships • Could be suffering from depression • Enter relationships that don't last long • Follow a religion or other beliefs that forbid it • Have difficulty trusting other people, which could be a result of bad past experiences, over-thinking situations, and/or mental illness • Have insecurity issues regarding their body, overall appearance, and/or personality • Have irrational fears of things that can be solved or worked around such as STDs • Have standards that are too high for potential partners to meet • Might have given up relationships based on their own bad choices in partners • Might have suffered a genital injury • Might live in a location where not too many single people are available • Might not be appealing to the majority of the opposite sex • Might only generalize and see negative characteristics in the opposite sex • Misplace their priorities • Simply have yet to meet the right person • Simply want to be single
There's a difference between being alone and being lonely. Just because someone is single, doesn't necessarily mean that they're lonely. For example, i love myself so much and like to explore the world, traveling going to events so much that i don't see myself with someone else. I love being alone where i don't have to keep checking my phone to see if he called or texted me, or to see if he's home safe. I have time for myself, treat myself, buy myself whatever i want, go wherever i want. I'm alone, far from being lonely. Matter fact, I'm thinking about marrying myself 😤
Because not everyone is looking for a partner and they are just not ready for a relationship. They want to concentrate on other stuff like education, work, etc. While some have fear of commitment and others just haven't reached out enough to find their Mr/Ms. Right.
I'm one of those who simply does not want to even go out as I've got to focus on lot of other stuff as of now, so it won't be fair to even date as I won't be able to give him time and make him happy.
Actually, I will be in the minority and say that I think there are probably more people in a relationship or just having a fuckbuddy than there are single people, yeah.
@LolaPop756 I think it's more that people are really only interested in fulfilling their own wants and needs rather than having to deal with the needs and wants of another person. So a fuckbuddy is the better option in that sense.
@Silver158 Yeah, the truth hurts for women, but it is true. Women position themselves as nothing more than sexual objects with no intellect, no substance, nothing to talk about, and nothing more than the next female who comes along. In return, men are supposed to provide everything of substance in the relationship.
Women want to marry but they don't want to be wives. Women want to have children but they don't want to be mothers. Why would a man want this in a female except for sex? I know I am done with these women.
@KrakenAttackin "Women want to marry but they don't want to be wives." - This here is a bomb of truth. Plus women on dating sites especially match what you said.
That's a great multiple-choice list. I wish the polls on here allowed people to select more than one option. Because I really believe, for many people, more than one of those things applies.
For example: for me, personally, I can say that all six of those factors apply. But one that I thought was particularly interesting was the "bad attitude" one. Because I have to admit that that has been true on occasion. Sometimes, BECAUSE of my bad luck and bad self esteem, it causes me to become discouraged and therefore have a bad attitude. And my bad attitude contributes to the "bad timing" aspect. Because I could see a pretty girl and be attracted to her, but I walk right by and ignore her -- sometimes even with a scowl on my face -- just because I'm nervous and depressed and not in the right mindset to be able to handle the situation. (And that's beside the fact that I'm not a very outgoing person in the first place.). So it becomes a vicious cycle, in a way. So I do not claim that I am not at least partially to blame.
more guys are opting out of relationships. because the legal system is curved in favor of women roughly 70/30 when it comes to relationships. at least in some first world countries.
a judge is more likely to believe the woman's side of relationship troubles then the man's
if you co-habitat (live together) for a long period of time. many parts of the world view you as common law marriage. which in many places there is an option to file for a type of divorce.
if your married 3 of 4 times the judge rule in the woman's favor if you get divorced.
over 60% of first time marriages fail. of those 60% that fail more then half are filed by the woman.
if you have kids together. 60% of the time the woman gets full custody. and the guy get limited visitation while having to pay support until the kids are 18 or 25 if in collage. if you 30% of the time the partners have shared custody of the kids. 10% of the time the guy has full custody of the kids. typically only happens if he can prove she is unfit to be a mother or primary care giver.
whomever ends up having to pay child support can't or won't do so. they most often get put in jail. but once they are out again still have to pay off the debt from before going to jail and from while they were in jail.
I just haven't met anyone yet where there was mutual attraction/interest between us. It's hard. REALLY hard. How ever hard you think finding someone is as a woman? Triple it for a guy. But yeah, it's hard for everyone. Dating would be easy if people would just take anyone. But that's not the way it is...
People have standards. You'd be surprised at just how hard is to...
1. Find someone your physically attracted to.
2. While also having a compatible personality with said person. Etc... etc...
And online dating does NOT make it easier. It makes it harder. But there's not many other options right?
I know that 9x outta ten, whichever woman I choose to contact is gonna have a whole buffet of other guys to choose from along with a blown up inbox chock full of messages.
Now, it may still be hard for the ladies, because just because they have a lot of options doesn't mean they're quality ones. But my point stands.
I have a feeling that there's going to be a TON of age 30+ single men and women of this millennial - gen-z generation in the future. Myself included possibly (hope not) but I don't really blame anyone for it.
It is an extremely complex situation. You are dealing with the consequences of biology, anxiety, confidence, expectations, the difference in mortality, goals, self-esteem, many people come with a lifetime worth of baggage and mental health issues you can't simply ignore. Cut a long story short, dating is hard, the responsibility that entails is heavy.
Then we all have faults that others don;t find attractive, that maybe we could be doing better to improve on before entering a relationship. I have met many women that seemed to have very little about them, they came across as extremely boring and took life too seriously ( I know this is subjective ). Predictability is a deadly sin while dating. Contrary to what many on here would have you believe, the majority of people are traditional in one sense or another, which sets standards many fail to meet. You always have the modern economy factor, it isn't practical as it used to be for one paycheck to provide for a family, therefore forcing the hand of people to work longer hours and have less time for personal growth. I could go on but I would be typing forever. I personally feel cities are too overcrowded which makes us see other humans as an obstacle or an issue, how do you give so many people freedom ( it is a very powerful question )
People are too picky. Its true you don't have to "lower" your standards. But some people get stressed out over small irrelevant details and then they end up looking to difficult and nobody will bother with them. I have 2 female friends that are both good looking and yet always complain about being single. But then when we go out they come up with every excuse under the sun why a guy is not right one. Arms to big/arms too small, too fat/too skinny, too much muscle/not enough muscle, too tall/too short, wrong eye colour, don't like their clothing etc etc etc etc etc etc.
Just because someone is awesome and single does NOT mean you'll be attracted to them. Surely, VIVANT, you've met awesome, single people you're not attracted to.
I've met hundreds of single, awesome women... who I was not, and could never be, attracted to.
Maybe they just don't fit together there are so many factors which play a role in finding a person who love you. Some find them really early on and some maybe don't find them or find them really late. Don't forget that some people are rlly happy to be single and don't have to have boundaries and stuff like that.
It's because the vast, vast majority of people desire partners that have higher social market value than they, themselves have. A relationship doesn't occur until two people either raise their social market value by bettering themselves, or lower their standards.
The pardoxial question🤔❓ Because they are both awesome them will have ego but what's the percentage awesome people meeting awesome people in the big pool they can't find each other and some people don't have choice and some don't want responsibility they just want to be together and move on
Yeah I suppose out of day a billion who seek partners.. a great many may match but they can be on opposite ends of the world. And also compromise. I think location and compromise are probably the biggest factors.
It can be a combination of all of that. I think if it's meant to be it's meant to be. Meanwhile the person needs to be working on himself, finding ways to better himself and self satisfied. You don't need a partner to be happy. I was happy single and now I am happy in a relationship.
It's not fate but more luck. Everyone gets a partner in his own time and pace. If your friend is getting engaged doesn't mean you need to be engaged now too. So that's a bit the fate aspect. You can't control when it happens and you can't dictate how it will go. You just need to be open about the prospects and work on your well being as you go through life. I am in my first relationship, I don't even know if this is the one for sure.
You gotta be around them and people like them. If you work for a living and have to pay bills this takes most of your time. Not everyone can work in an office setting surrounded by cute interns and secretaries, some of us work in fields surrounded only by men.
When I worked in a grocery store i was surrounded by girls and several of them wanted to date, its funny when girls are single they start shopping but I've been in a “manly” career, auto mechanics and now semi truck driving and havnt had a date since
Here’s the only answer: lack of social life. When everyone is plugged into their smart phones 24/7. You can avoid small talk or getting to know a neighbor by pretending to be on your phone. Your social skills deteriorate along with your confidence to interacting with others.
believe it or not, having a social life is VITAL to dating. Folks who tend to have a hard time finding someone , usually do not have good social lives. This also explains why people in their 30s have such less dating action compared to their 20s. They no longer want to party or go out to clubs or hangout with friends on a weeknight.
Hitting on random girls at a bar is one of the least effective ways to find love and it cannot be substituted for having a great social life
This is 110% why I'm single. (No social life) but I dont know how to change it. It seems that if someone didn't maintain the friends they had from their high school years then your doomed. :(
I enjoyed reading your question and gave it a "thumbs up."
It seems to me that most people are self-absorbed and self-centered that they can't see beyond their own nose unless they want something from you. Nowadays people are ultra-sensitive and toxic. When they look in the mirror all they see is good and if something goes awry, they blame others.
In addition, we live in a hook-up culture where it's expected that there will be sex on the first date.
Many people don't want to date and put up with all this BS. It's just not worth it. They believe they are better off being single.
There are many factors in play. Overall, human nature is the most self-centered self-absorbed species and is only motivated by need. Women have declared they don’t need men and see that emotion as a weakness while men have retreated from the concept of the state/corporate owned and operated woman. The society and the government have pitted the sexes against each other and neither side trusts the other. The relationship/family endgame has been erased for a large cross-section. Sex remains a strong life force but that seems to becoming overtaken by mass celibacy that is rapidly on the rise. Most males and females have compensated by becoming absorbed into technology and superficial pleasures. That is it briefly, but the complexity of it is still not completely understood by the so-called experts that tend to analyze based on political motivations.
There are a lot of factors, a huge one being people just aren't looking for the same things, such as a serious relationship. Another issue can be work related. I actually read a blog post by a sex worker who was surprised that her clients were mostly attractive or funny or wealthy or some combination of the three who paid for sex services. She expected them to be losers but the reality was they just didn't have time for a relationship. Me personally, I'm currently training for a new career path.
A lot needs to line up right for a relationship to happen, let alone a successful one.
I’m not lonely, but I am single. I get the impression people want to be involved but actually being involved scares the living shit out of them so they avoid being involved at the same time. Or, the get involved and decided they prefer to be single or just not done being single ‘yet’.
Because the single people aren't interested in dating the other single people. They're either not attracted to the single people they meet, don't put effort into meeting enough single people to be attracted to one for various reasons, or are just not looking for a relationship.
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