Of course I have my own theories on the matter, but I am very curious to hear what others have to say. I may list my own thoughts in an update later...
After the answer of coach I have difficult to answer it, I will go even now.
I think there are three social factors involved: 1. Lose of social identity. To men and women Men doesn't have a clear role nowadays, but women have lost a lot of their identity as women, many times I see that my partners on psychology have less intuition that I have, and they are women... It's their strong point, many times a women see herself strong because she can do what a normal man can do, but having babies is a trauma for her... My mother and grandmother were happy after it (they know it hurted a lot, but they know it deserved) nowadays women who have lost their essence and their strong points. About men, as it is bad seen to protective and go for your goals many men have lost their essence too. I don't want to say with this, that a woman shouldn't go for best jobs or for things men do, what I mean is that if the prize is your essence as a woman, may be it doesn't deserve.
2. Individuality cult. To both Nowadays people are trained into you don't need anybody to be happy and don't go out until you find well yourself and they are being trained into to close themselves to relations. In fact when your problem is about being able to share, or having high standards instead of realistic standards to be on healthy relation is one of the best options you can take. Furthermore individualist training don't let the common energy flows so, it makes more difficult to go for a healthy relation. 3. Love confusion. Disney hurted a lot about it, and the answer to Disney hurt a lot today. People think that to love is just chemical it comes and after it everything is OK. It isn't true, you must learn to love, and not just expect to be loved. But I don't see anywhere a place where people can teach you to love, and if you ask for it, answer usually is... It's chemical, connection (insert your form to say you don't have the most minimal idea here).
4. Lack of social habilities. Men mostly One of the main advantages women have had traditionally above men (by now, feminism can blow this sex advantage in fact it isn't the first time I had to send a partner on psychology to buy a pair of tits before following the experiment because her intuition was gone away) Is the fact that they have a lot more social habilities training. From make up, dancing, chatting, use of her emotions to have guys, even the cups are positive (Mr wonderful) to women and negative (Mr shit) to men. I always say that incels are wrong on almost everything but that I see no excuse for society that they don't bring this tool to them. Because it's true that nowadays women have preference on men role, but I don't see a preference to me where I study, or to get these tools in which we are biological and cultural disadvantaged.
On my opinion these are the four main reasons to this situation.
You must listen to us Dr Richard Day on the NWO you'll understand why things are the way they are in the world , with women and society and the weirdness that's been happen . All bullshit aside the agenda is working better than they predicted, you must listen to all of it and there's three more after that one goes off YouTube it.
For women they want it all nowadays and good for them. However this puts a crunch on their time table of marriage, babies, and the corner office etc.
Where some women delay marriage and motherhood the other women who don't succeed... but only in that one area. For the women who have the corner office and education it's now "go time" but has time ran out?
Women now are out pacing their male peers in education and career... which doesn't give them much to choose from when they are finally ready to rock n roll. The pickings are slim because males are still catching up with maturity, education and career.
Women are now stuck in the matrix and either have to lower their standards or really buckle down and network to find that special someone.
2nd Part: The Men
Many men are single because they have given up. MGTOW seems to be as popular as call of duty these days. The red pill seems to be crushed up and put in men's omelette's in place of bacon.
They feel they are not needed anymore therefor why even try. Men of this generation are confused of what their role really should be in society, with family, as a man. It's a fucking mess. I see it all day everyday.
These are all decent people and all of them deserve love. Things change for the better or for the worse. It's all how you see the circle of life. Some people see the glass half full some see the glass half empty.
I see the glass with something in it and I am grateful... which is why mindset wins over bullshit every time.
"Women are now stuck in the matrix and either have to lower their standards or really buckle down and network to find that special someone." So you're saying if a woman puts herself first rather than trying to find a relationship, she's screwed later in life? Damn.
As for the men? "It's a fucking mess" ... yeap, that sounds about right.
I live in small country with around of 3 mil people and other countries have really shocked me. Met a lot of women and they have really huge standards and I'm like what the hell is going on. Then I realise that I do in advertising, huge businesses where we spend only for one client 400k EUROS a month (that means 12.000$ a day only for facebook and instagram ads - one client) and I'm like of course all those people are brainwashed. People not thinking with cellphones in hand and AI.
- Advertising have huge impact, because now you know almost everything about everyone. You can change their thinking - Books and magazines are promoting "shiny objects" and self mirror because when you do advertising you understand that more are people "narcist" higher is spend on items and shiny object.
You are correct. I am a 33 year MGTOW Monk. 2020 will make 34 years. When I first went Monk 33 years ago it wasn't popular at all it was considered very unusual indeed. As far back as 2009 it was still unheard of as folks would think there was something wrong with you. But around 2014 all that begin to change rapidly. Where my life was once considered the unusual life going it my own way alone, I'm not joined in the millions world wide under the label of MGTOW. When I went MGTOW Monk all those years ago, at that time I had no idea that it would be considered a permanent move. My plans are now touching up my house and I'm moving to Russia where I will spend the rest of my life. The west is no place for men and I am now with the many men that are leaving the west.
@coachTanthony It's so bleak, I see no light at the end of the tunnel! Coach, I may... have to hire you... scary I know. Do you take payment in the form of chocolate and/or cheetos?
@Cynicaldreamer I once was paid with two tickets to the Bengals Steelers game front row. That was pretty cool... never cheetos and chocolate though... never say never Ha
"Men of this generation are confused of what their role really should be in society, with family, as a man. " - coachTanthony.
GOLDEN WORDS..
Honestly.. I think it's time men find a new role.. I am also noticing a rising need of women to Be taken care off.. With the coming generation.. Women want their husbands to be like a father to them.. Instead of an equal partner, I am intrigued to see what new role or position.. Men end up finding in this new social structure..
I think men will end up taking fatherly role for his whole family including his wife in coming generations.. Instead of taking his wife as an equal partner.. Such is the demand rise from the needs of submissive women.. However in dominant women of society men will find position as slaves.. At the whim of women.. Since we already have.. Men who like be dominated and men are proclaimed "Daddies" in social construct..
Just wanted you to know this is probably my favourite opinion I've seen in all my time in GaG. In my opinion it's 100% accurate. I've screenshotted this to use in discussions with friends. Well done coach!
Agreed. I hear women speak about "relationships" and they have wildly unrealistic ideas about how life is, they will say things like: "I'll meet my soulmate when I am 33, we'll get married and have twins when I am 35".
When these idiotic fantasies don't work, women get the desperate baby rabies and start obsessing about marriage and family. I have ZERO sympathy for women these days.
That is a REALLY good and well thought through analysis. I've hung by my teeth to remain ahead of the corner office women AND to get to being able to not feel guilty when they are unhappy that I am not interested (being one of their very few 'good picks' (a career, handsome, friendly/sociable etc) I find it sad because back in the day when they could have dated me they were busy shouting slogans and 'getting ahead'. I would have easily been a fit for their development path too - but they were going to prove they can do it alone. Met a guy recently who was very calm and mentioned he had a child just before at 46 (but I suspect some of the ladies will now want to compete with that - for some reason the older ones always wanted me as a show off of their prowess - a game I only played once). It is a bit of a bother older women keep telling the younger ones how 'their men' are off limits - even if they never got any agreement to consider someone 'theirs'.
1) People have become more superficial than ever. Not necessarily shallow, but superficial. I'm sorry to break the bitter truth, but the moment you give looks importance, doesn't matter that you are looking for good personality besides that too, you HAVE made good looks your primary requirement and you won't look past looks or other superficial qualities in people, hence you can't expect to be able to find a good partner this way. And if the relationship does happen, they break up when their partner gains a freaking pound. I don't get how anyone in their right mind thinks they can have a good partner with that level of superficiality. 2) People have become impatient and want instant gratification. People easily give up on a relationship. 3) People have generally become more isolated and less social thanks to smartphones and the internet. You can't build a relationship with real life interaction. 4) Self-centered. People forgot how to compromise and sacrifice. Now people believe in 50-50 instead of 101-101, where you go above and beyond your abilities for your s. o. 5) Arrogance. Thinking that just being a decent human being makes you entitled to your dream partner sprouting out of the floor for you.
@KrakenAttackin it's less wisdom and more of simply being raised in a non-Western country and observing all the Western people's craziness behind the screen :p we have lower divorce rates here!
Because it is hard to. open up to someone when you have been around toxic people for too long.
Also, if you are like me it is even harder because i have trouble deciding if I like someone even physically in 99% of the cases. Usually attraction is a mix for me, it can't be purely physical, i need to get used to someone for a while before I am sure. And guess what? When so many people are into instant physical contact that is a disdvantage because most either lose their patience because they only wanted sex or think I am not interested.
Because some people still see"dating" as talking to, spending time, getting to know 'one" person with the mindset/goal of seeing if you are relationship compatible. And others are using the term "dating" to see, sleep with as many as they can. And think it's okay because "hey we're just dating" excuse not to be upfront about it.
1. It's easier to hook up for sex and company than ever before because of online date/hookup sites and social media, one of them could be doing it discreetly with every intent to ghost, the other could person could be doing it hoping to find "the one" to settle with, both could just be lonely or horny, the point is... people be using people out there, out of fear, horniness, loneliness, validation, $, whatever.
2. High Standards... and for those people with high standards they slowly become comfortable with their: a) serial dating/sluttyness and eventual dissapointment/sabotage (to look for someone better again/alone time in the meantime) b) Used to being alone with their vibrator or porn, or just the single lifestyle, work is life, hobbies are relief, it becomes normal and preferred, looking feels awkward and like a waste of time, they are set in their ways.
I've been guilty of high standards but still getting with women pretending I was looking for more, and I've been on the receiving side of that as well.
There are a number of reasons. 1. Women have been indoctrinated to believe that they should wait until they are in their upper 20's. However, by then they have lost their bloom, are set in their ways, and are no longer the malleable and sweet, juicy young thing that men are so attracted to.
2. Our society, the movies, and the media have encouraged young women to quickly spread their legs to any and every guy they are attracted to. Therefore, sex without marriage is freely available to desirable men.
3. Since men fuck down for sex but seldom marry down, youn women have unrealistic standards and chase after the hottest guys that will fuck them and reject guys within their league that would marry them.
4. Public schools and even many colleges are a hostile environment for young men. Therefore, many more women than men are going to college and women are reluctant to marry men with less education.
5. Marriage offers few benefits for men. Our society, the laws, and family courts portray and treat men as only a wallet, buffoons, and unworthy of fair treatment. Therefore, children belong first to the state and second to the women. Men have almost no rights with their children and the risk is high that a wife will decide to divorce and take the children, most of the assets and much of the man's earnings.
I don't know about other people, but I am single because it is too difficult to find someone good enough for me. I am physically attracted to less people than most people are so that limits things. Then I won't accept someone that does drugs, drinks alcohol, (those two things eliminates over half of the people), is friends with an ex, has a bunch of kids from other guys, or is selfish/expects the man to pay for everything while she contributes nothing. I won't be with someone that insists on marriage because I'm not risking that again since if things don't work out they try to steal from me, and one of the main problems is when finding someone online that seems compatible they live too far away. I think my standards are reasonable, and I exceed my own standards, but it seems very few people actually can meet my standards. Here is an example: My standards for a potential SO. Wow, this got really long.
Because most other people are not decent or adequate enough, it is simply much harder for worthwhile people to find worthwhile partners.
Since 2015, I've met *one* woman who I would consider dating out of a want rather than a need. And I'm counting all the people I have encountered online, even on international sites such as this one. In person, I have not met a woman like that my entire life.
And even then, I believe that most average people settle for less than what they deserve simply out of a need to do so.
Yeap, you are right. Let's be blunt here: it really is harder to find worthwhile people to date anymore. So rather than just stay single, most people rather just settle to say they're with someone, even if they're not the right person for him or her.
And you are probably one of the only people I've seen on here that said dating is a want NOT a necessity- thank you!!!
I have a lot of theories aswell and definitely not only one reason.
Men are scared of rejection and being seen as creep and this causes anxiety and depression. The only place I meet women is at the gym and apperantly according to women of the internet it is not ok to trying to flirt with women at the gym. So it is a matter of isolation and insecurity. Can't flirt at store, gym, work, street. Only place which is ok is the bar and I am not interested in that sceen any more. Men have seriously lost their mojo. So instead of risking rejection men just watch porn.
Sleeping around and watching porn is normalized from really early age and it desensitise people of intimacy, making it hard for people to connect. Sex becomes cheap and easy. Bot are equaly damaging in my opinion. Also social plays a big role. People don't think they are not good enough because they can't compete with all the "perfection".
"The only place I meet women is at the gym and apperantly according to women of the internet it is not ok to trying to flirt with women at the gym." You can but there is are appropriate times to do so. Like for me, don't flirt with me when I'm working out or have headphones/music on... I'm in the zone and don't like to be approached.
But before my workout, or after I'm done and I'm getting ready to leave? Absolutely! It's all in how you approach or ask us- You can ask what type of workout we like, or are planning to do for the day, discuss almost anything fitness or food related with us, or ask her out after her workout, "Hey, I was on my way to get a protein shake, want to meet up?" Just as an example...
But that's sad that men rather stick to something "safe" such as porn or one night stands, than reaching out for a real relationship for fear of rejection. You guys have really been educating me today with your replies.
I think it's people they lose hope by being confronted to too many not so decent people, by listening to others' experience instead of making their own (like how some women can believe that all men are pig despite having little to no experience, or how some men see women as the devil despite having little to no experience), or because they don't put themselves out there enough. Sure rejection is scary, but it's better to take your chance instead of being paralyzed by fear. Besides, the more you get rejected, the less it hurts at some point.
"... the more you get rejected, the less it hurts at some point." well I wouldn't say that. I've been rejected countless times, and I wouldn't say it hurts less, you just become... numb. You're so used to it, it no longer bothers you as much as it used to. It still hurts, but just less over time if that makes sense.
But you are absolutely right. Rejection is a part of the process! People just don't like it, and instead sit back and complain about dating and the opposite gender instead of trying to fix the problem, or moving on to someone else that 'won't' reject him or her.
Yes, that's what I meant, you get used to it. It's still painful of course, but you're used to it now. Moving on and realizing that there is still hope out there is key to succeed in my opinion. People should learn to remain positive about the future, to not lose hope because, as long you are alive, there is always hope.
After all the massive media, stories and news about toxic relationships and bad love experiences which end in break ups, separations and divorces where one ends emotionally hurt (in fact, nowadays there are less marriages and more divorces and break ups even in non formal relationships like in the friends with benefits), one thinks that it is better living alone than with a love partner.
In short, we are becoming like the japanese: we rather prefer to live in our own love and romantic fantasies because we are more afraid of getting hurt and feel our inner world invaded by someone whom we consider is unworthy at the moment.
I suppose there could be lots of explanations that could apply to any given person, but I'd say some are
1) the proliferation of social media has given everyone the illusion of choice so no one wants to settle down when there could be a better option available 2) hookup apps make relationships superfluous when people so willingly volunteer their bodies for something quick 3) there's greater distrust between the genders and neither value each other as much due to various social reasons
That's all I got
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
I know why so many women are single these days. We tired of dealing with jerks and we're not settling for just anyone anymore. I mean, what's the point if it's only going to end in heartache and divorce! I read "Are Women the Stronger Sex", free from obooko, and I have a better understanding of men so I know what to look out for and what to avoid. That weeded out the jerks so I had more time to spend with decent guys and now I'm in a serious relationship. I don't know if it'll end in marriage but it looks promising. :)
Point is marriage isn't easy living with someone is never easy the bliss fulness of love will wear off but you still have love you just dont feel it like you did on your honey moon but it's there, now when life and all its head ache sets back in you both walk out the same door but the whole world is against you and him , especially the marriage. the way life is set up its supposed to split y'all up , only the strong ones only survive in marriage. And let's say one of you works and one stays home , the one at home sits and all you hear on tv is about lawyers who make devourse a better opportunity for the woman at home day in and day out with the same commercials over and over eventually get in ya head and plant that seed and then it grows sometime fast or sometimes slow , but it's in there ,. And the man seems to be on the road 3 hours a day just pay bills so he can get home to a cold shoulder
I believe most decent people are shy or introverts and don't get out much. But I'd have to go with the fact that decent people don't get treated very well in the world and are probably afraid of being hurt by someone close to them. Decent people normally wait until they find someone that'll actually treat them how they deserve to be treated. That's what I think anyway.
Cause some people are ugly. Some people are boring as hell. Some people have the emotional intelligence of a rock. Some people have mental issues that they need to deal with before they enter into a relationship. Some people have shitty personalities. Some people have bad hygiene. Some people are dumb. Some people are annoying. Some people have unreasonably high expectations. Some people literally have no job, education, or life goals. Some people think they’re decent, when in reality they are not. Some people are too shy, so they don’t even meet enough people to have a dating pool. There’s a lot of various reasons. Some people have a combination of the issues I listed.
It's hard to find someone that I can really connect with, and have a real relationship with, rather than superficial crap. So many that I just won't waste time on. The ones that know and understand won't crap on my answer, because they feel the same about guys!
Women: With feminism and the working woman, women as a whole are the most unattractive to men for relationships as they ever have been in all of history and its only getting worse.
Men: I think are driven by rewards so when they dont even see women they like and feel its not possible to get a woman they want, they dont bother to work for it. Instead there is video games, porn, occasional hookups and few responsibilities.
So we have basically workaholic slut women that most men dont want. And we have lazy video game chubby basement dwelling men that most women dont want.
The people that remain are fighting for slim pickings when it comes to marrigable people. Ie the hottest wealthiest most connected guys who the women want are going for the trophy wives. And the loser men are going for the career women who dont want them. And so almost nobody is getting what they want.
Women have too many choices to pick from. And they keep brushing off men, hoping they find that overly perfect prince of their dreams. They aim real high. So most men are not good enough because of that thought. Which sucks, because there is a lot of great guys out there. For men, I guess multiple rejections suck. Men still have to make the first move, just with that it it's a ton of pressure. You have to compete with top Dawgs. And then there's the bad boys that get it all, and only want to womenize women. They take advantage of women. Men also have more mental struggles so it seems. And ruin it for others. But that's my though and experience. I still hang on to hope for myself to find a match one day, one day right? Im not dating its just that, some of that, some of this. It's just my opinion.
Because everyone I meet wants easy sex with no emotional connection. I was single for years because I couldn’t find someone who wanted a deep connection. Too many “small talk” people and not enough “talk all night” type people.
"Because everyone I meet wants easy sex with no emotional connection" Yeap, I'm noticing this seems to be a reoccurring issue with the females at least. I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling that way. I refuse to sleep with a guy unless there's a connection there.
From what I can conclude, it could be because of these things: insecurities, indecent or horrible past, bad choices, too much tech use, trust issues, failing to find compatibility, no or very less time for a relationship, being too selective, giving into generalisations laid out by others, cynicism etc.
They are looking for the significant decent person to their decent life. Why would a decent person jump the gun on dating when they can enjoy what they have and enjoy finding the right person. Why jump from girl to girl just for sex? To them, that's not a relationship at all. They just want the right person they can stick with for good. That bout sums it up on my take on it.
Too many crap exes / wishing to avoid a repeat performance. Many people , especially women , are happy living without the opposite gender in their lives. Also , much more for men , dating is hard , often fruitless , work. I don't want to endure multiple job interviews... or the hell of another relationship
Yeah, the dating "job interview" is seriously tiring. The typical female line of questioning comes off as "what can you do for me? What resources can I extract from you?"
I think it's quite easy to explain. The requirements people have for a partner are becoming more and more unreal. Under the influence of social media people have to conform to a social acceltable standard. people try to find such a paftner but never find one. Ultimately they quit the search and accept being single. It's the 80/20 rule. 80% of the women look for a partner amongst 20% of available men that brings down the number of relations. 20% of man search amongst 80% of women. That don't work positive either. If we keep outruling in this way everyone will be single in notime. add up that 1 kn 3 relations break and its complete.
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