I guess at that phase of my life I just wanted variety of both individual women and of experiences, and I really only wanted the sexual side of it, I didn’t want to have to deal with feelings, commitments, etc. I’d still say that’s the hardest part of being in a relationship, having to think of someone else before I do anything, how it affects them, if it works with their schedule, whether or not she’d approve of what I’m doing, etc. One thing with me: I’m a Freebird. I gotta be able to fly when I want to fly, and stay in the nest when I want to be in the nest. 🎶Annnndddddd this bird you cannot chaaaaaannnnnnggggeeeee🎶... sorry😅
https://www.youtube.com/embed/QxIWDmmqZzYBut yeah, I mean... it’s not like I’m completely averse to feelings and romance and commitment... I’m just a guy who needs to be doing what he wants to be doing or else I’m miserable, haha. So for example, on a weekend, after a full work week, I’m not really looking to go apple picking on Saturday and to brunch on Sunday. I’m not looking for other people to make plans FOR me. I’m not a dick about it, I’m a good sport and I do it when called upon, and put on a smile for it, I’m not trying to be an asshole... but I’m hating it inside, and I just come back to: I don’t think I really have a whole lot in common with the average woman and what she likes to do with her free time. Like Bill Burr says, women can be like psycho robots with relentless energy, lmao
https://www.youtube.com/embed/W7KVrVWy6I4So I don’t know, in my 20s, I had just gotten out of a 4 year relationship with a girl who was trying to fast track marriage and kids, and for me, that just wasn’t what I was looking for, certainly not at that time. I was at college in a concentration of 20,000 women between 18-23, I figured real life wasn’t like that elsewhere, haha, so I took advantage. I never lied to anyone, never duped girls into bed if they were looking for more, I passed on girls I could have been with because I knew they genuinely liked me, and that wouldn’t have been fair to them... I like to think I did it the right way.
But I’m just not a guy who likes to commit to things, as a general rule. I like to be free to make autonomous decisions based on how I feel in the moment. Women always want to make plans and for you to go along with them, which is fine, but not really a good fit for me. I don’t think anyone is wrong, we’re just wired differently.
That said, I’ve been with my lady for 13 years now, although she’s been very unwell for about 10 of them. I still stuck it out and even played a caretaker role for many years, so it’s not like I’m incapable. Just at the end of the day, I’m a free spirit and I guess you could call me a hedonist, so at times, having to restrain myself or go along with plans that I’m not into is just my nightmare, haha. Maybe “sacrifice” is the word I’m missing here, I’m just not a person who likes to routinely make sacrifices.
I've never been one to intentionally just hook up. I have actually had two one-night stands, but it was unintentional.
While I do prefer a committed relationship, I can see the allure to a hookup, because the hunt and the chase and the exhilaration that comes from the first eye contact leading up to clothes coming off. You only get that first time feeling once or twice in a committed relationship, whereas when you're hooking up on a regular basis you get that first time feeling all the time. There's something incredibly exciting about every moment leading up to that first or second orgasm that starts to fade after the familiarity sits in. But discovering each other's bodies wondering what she feels like and taste like and looks like under that dress, I imagine that's a reason hookups are so popular.
Hookups can be fun on the simple fact that there are no expectations involved. Sexual desire is completely natural and most individuals crave that intimacy daily, but dont like the expectations attached to relationships. Which is why a lot of people in these days are doing "Open relationships" versus being committed to one person. I personally actually have a boyfriend and I love him to death. However, before I met him, I had a friends with benefits for nearly 9 years. I loved that man to pieces and he was my best friend and sometimes I did question whether or not I wanted more than what we had. But the reality of it was that the reason our 'relationship' was so appealing was because there were little zero expectations. If we were horny, we hooked up. If we were lonely, we found peace in each others company. We knew everything there was to know about eachother but we still did not expect anything. I wasn't sleeping with anyone else, mainly because I had little desire to feed into the expectations of others. He did sleep with other people though and as fucked up as it may sound, if he ever needed advice about those women, I was the first person he reached out to. Despite our history we were always respectful too. If he became serious with someone, we never did anything to jeopardize that. I would never do that to another woman. But with that said, it was fun while it lasted. Unfortunately I found that the way he viewed me wasn't anywhere close to how I viewed him.. So when I started dating my boyfriend, I told my friends with benefits and he flipped out instantly and said that I was giving up on him. I blocked him. I missed him for awhile and now I dont think of him at all. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But I can definitely see the appeal in hookups versus relationships.
In my opinion, hookups are for impatient people who dont have the clit/balls to take the time out to work hard for what they reeeally want in a relationship. Everyone should get to know the person (for more than a day/week/month) and commit to that person before they jump into bed with em. If you're not looking to commit then i have nothing for you. Most People who love to hookup often catch STDs and/or get pregnant but they simply excuse their behavior by getting repeatedly treated for STDs and/or getting an abortion and then they go out and repeat the same behavior. Its a pretty sad world we live in
Damn you had to call ya mama a hoe 💀 the real hoe is the one that downvoted me for calling out her ways 🤷♀️
lol...
It's a technical term indicating the profession, not meant as an insult.
Maybe I'll use a softer one
Opinion
39Opinion
Variety, unpredictability, potential fantasy fulfillment.
But ultimately quite forgettable in the long run.
The thrill of it and the passion of it , basically you both want each other , without really knowing each other , you are both just attracted to each other and want to rip each others’ clothes off as soon as possible , donut’s just sex over anything else. People like hook ups because there is no strings attached , it’s just 2 people getting off on each other without strings attached
Hookups and affairs have an appeal in some cases. I came out of a 30 year marriage with an asexual wife and 2 kids. For the last 10 years I've been dating, doing hookups, and affairs with married women who are going through bad marriages like I was. It works for me.
Am I afraid of commitment? Maybe I am a little. That was a large chunk of my adult life that was wasted with the wrong person. I certainly don't want to make that mistake again. But I also know that it doesn't have to be that way. I'm not condemning marriage or women universally for one bad decision on my part.
But marriage complicates everything. It creates legal obstacles to going your own way. And I'm an introvert. I like my alone time. A lot. Too much of people or any one person wears on me. I'm not sure people were intended to spend a lifetime with one other person.
So with dating, hookups, and affairs...
People don't want to be responsible for the other person or raising a family. They prefer pleasure than a loving spouse and family. Sex is no longer required in marriage. A big problem right there.
All relationships take work. Just some less work. If you want sex only with no commitment (One night, multiple dating, hookups, etc). Or, want some form of commitment but not committed, still dating multiple people (friends with benefits) Or, you want sex and comment no growth to marriage (boyfriend and girlfriend) Or, you want sex, commitment to marriage and children or no children.
Out of these scenarios, people take the easy path to a relationship. Sex being the driven decision. And, not wanting to know, bond, love and create a family or just committed companionship with someone.
If I am into casual, I would name several correct "reasons" of why I do so.
Well, since it's not my thing, this is just my guess.
For a man/woman, I am not sure about the differences.
- It's not comitted.
- It's free.
- It doesn't need effort.
- You don't need to spend so much time with immature people.
- You don't have to deal with jealousy of a partner.
- You don't have to think much, the reptilian brain will tell you what to do.
- ?
If the question asks about the negative sides, my list would be never-ending.
It's nice just to have a few hours of pleasuring a stranger. and being able to just go after you come 4 or 5 times
@wellendowedwonder
I have no idea. I can't relate at all. It's too risky for me to sleep with someone I don't know or not engaged. What if he's a sadist? What if he has STDs? Who will gurantee my safety? It's my responibility to protect myself. And I wouldn't like to see a man who have high body count too.
@wellendowedwonder
Then it's better to leave the conversation just that. True or not I can't fathom your words, but it's truly disturbing. Hooking up is not my style. I'll be very judgmental on this behavior. Since my pride is beyond my skin. It diminishes my dignity if someone would see me just for my body. I'd rather not be seen at all. Moreover, I'm not pleased to share my thoughts with people who have values and attitudes against mine.
So you will find nothing in my profile that could help you. I haven't got any knowledge on sexual topics as many followed me just to ask intimate questions that I can't answer.
Farewell.
They have their uses for me. I'm a very sexual woman. Almost hypersexual. If I'm single, ready to mingle but have no lover, I'll hookup with somebody for a night. Then when I meet a man who likes me, I will hang with them, become friends and get to know them. Then if I like them and they still like me, we may talk about maybe becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. That's how me and my fiance got together.
It's easier to still have the freedom of being yourself in a less expected way and giving yourself to whoever you choose to without commitment. But then there's other people who are disgusted by the idea and like the easiness of loyalty and true commitment because they don't have to worry about how they hold themselves because they're just completely comfortable with their partner.
Maybe this will help; Person A wants spicy food one day, sweet the next, then a salad on Thursday at noon just because. Person B doesn't mind knowing they're going home to the same meal each day because they genuinely enjoy it's flavor and consistency on how it makes them feel.
I'm comfortable in any ones company, or pussy
Right, but not everyone is. I'm very extroverted for the most part and have had my days doing whatever I wanted with whoever I wanted because I get comfortable FAST vs my boyfriend is very much the opposite of me he wants one person to focus on and it took him almost 5 or 6 months to come to terms with the level of comfort we have now in our relationship.
Yeah that's kind of difficult especially in the threesome's or foursome's I enjoy my partners have gotta be extraverted.
Having been single all my life there are nights it's really unbearable. A hookup at least beats sleeping on my own for all eternity.
Sure I'd love a girlfriend but in the continued absence of any willing candidates / candidates I'm willing to date. A hookup feels like exactly what I need right about now.
Oh God, where to begin?
First-VARIETY!-I'm sure that doesn't need further explanation
Second-Cheaper! Dates are expensive and girlfriend are hugely expensive and wives the most expensive of all (and can ultimately cost you near everything). A hookup usually you paid at most for a few drinks and a room.
Third-whip up the obligatory cheese omelet and then she leaves. You do not have to spend the weekend with her or even the day. That's why you pay a prostitute-not for the sex but to LEAVE after the sex. Hookups leave.
Fourth-Did I mention variety?
Fifth-the sex is nastier because you probably won't be seeing them again so you can let it all hang out!
Sixth-and don't forget variety!
Getting sex without putting humongous amounts of effort and gambling with money just to get a girlfriend/boyfriend.
I mean - for me at least - having hookups is much better than being single.
Since some girls just want sex/fun and not relationships, we men are the sex beasts and would unlikely turn them down.
I love sex so much, that I am willing to hire prostitutes for 2 hours.
Less drama more sex for mama.
Ugh hated that but it popped in my mind so... but yeah, basically what people are already saying. I think there's a lot of relations in it too with people. I know a lot of people who were friends with benefits basically but not officially. It just worked like that for them. I don't know not in that group personally so
I’m currently in a friends with benefits situation. I would prefer a committed relationship. However my life requires me to be alone. I don’t have the time to commit. But I still get the sex an attention that I need to get through
Theyre too immature to give anything. They just want to recieve and leave.
Facts
For me nothing. I prefer to have a regular sex partner. Less worried about stds, you know each other’s bodies, you can have sex whenever you want, don’t have to worry about getting slut shamed for constant sleeping with different people, and you don’t have to deal with meeting new people. I like relationships, or long term friends with benefits. One night stands make me a bit uncomfortable. I’ve tried them, but they had no appeal to me.
You’re horny and just want to release at the moment
Nothing it's like a deadly cigarette. They get a temporary pleasure for now. But when they turn +50 They realize they're too late. Then end up alone which leads to depression and loneliness and lack of support which leads to early death. Let's not forget the early risks such as unwanted children and STD.
I talked to a neighbor friend like that and after a while he said he felt empty and alone with no meaning and that he wasn’t doing things the right way. so finally one day he got married and felt a lot better With True meaning
I don't know either, I couldn't sleep with a random person then say bye... It's an intimate thing not small talk...
Committed relationships can often let you down and fail over 50% of the time as people pretend to be a better version of themselves at the start of a relationship, than they really are. Whereas a hookup is more purely based on physical attraction so you can see what you get and they let you down less often.
Freedom
Doesn't need any effort
Far less Drama
U are not risking getting dumped
Some people just don't like being attached
Because relationships are hard to make time for in our modern society where everyone has 9-5 jobs and are trying to make a living and a relationship is a big responsibility but sex is a thing humans desire which is why we have things such as porn hub and hookup apps
I have no idea, always struck me as odd to want that but not a relationship.
I guess the appeal relies in getting pleasure without compromise and all the trouble you get with a relationship.
No responsibility, no obligation to hang out with the person after.
You don't have to be compatible in terms of personality to have good sex, so it's just easier.
more freedom I guess
no committing no strings attached
Fun fun fun.
Without the bs that comes with a relationship
Variety I guess.
Right now would be a good time to be in a committed relationship though. No meeting infected strangers.
Lack of responsibility and self-control, two qualities that many young adults today now lack!
You won't know without being in a relationship first
Hooks don’t have to deal with with ups and downs of a relationship.
People are annoying, less you gotta deal with them, the better
Reminds of the old joke, "What's the definition of eternity? The time from when you cum and she leaves!"
Instant gratification vs actual work.
a lot of people dont want to put in the work.
It is slam bam thank you mam. Versus an investment in time and money and may be get laid. I guess the hookup is great if you want a quick fuck with no investment in a relationship. Or a relationship and maybe get laid
The lack of baggage and emotions. People look at relationships as too much work. It's much easier to sleep around because you don't get an attachment.
The appeal is with younger people wanting fun. Committed relationships are for the ones who are ready to settle down with someone. That’s appealing for them.
You get pussy without all the hazzle. And reaffirm that you are infact highly attractive to women. This is how I lived, building my confidence while I searched for the right one. Married now. Some times I miss fucking young sluts.
Hook-ups are best if u don't want to be in relationship.
Some people just want something casual. They aren't ready to "settle down" as it were. They would like to expirement
Anti-responsibility , anti-traditional , anti-commital , anti-comprehencibilty , anti-biological , anti-conformational , anti-tribal , ANTI-CHRIST
That during hookups u can have sex when ever u want. But in a relationship u have to work with each others schedule and sometimes they don't want to do it
Same reason as drugs instant gratification with minimal effort
I love hookups... seriously... it got me out of my depression cycle after bad breakup.. and saved me from committing suicide..
It's ol about fun... without any tension tht we hve to look n take care of tht girl wid which wo do sex in serious relationship...
Various reasons...
Freedom
Sexual attraction
Stress
Being sociable with affluent people
You don't have to deal with someone you're not compatible with but you still get off?
Not having a relationship to worry about lol
Good question
Thanks!
Sexual gratification with no commitment.
I've never understood the appeal of hookups
It appeals to the female lack of responsibility.
Dont gotta stay with them
No obligations
Various pussy and tits
Different flavor of the day or week
Best of both worlds
Never experienced anything
The fact that she doesn’t stick around
I don't do hookup
less work
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