Would you date a divorced guy with a kid?

Question

27 m, divorced with a 2yr old. I've recently started talking to other women, not even as a prospective date, just as friends and talking. I was told girls will hook up with me but not date me. this seems to be a common thing because I'm divorced or I'm a dad and it seems to be widely accepted by women... yet I know if I say I won't date a mother or a divorced girl I'm a huge dick. Why is that?

dandiecandie · Accepted Answer

Well to be honest with you I would prefer to date a guy who does not have a kid with another woman for a couple of reasons. 1) he had a kid with someone else which means a part of someone will always apart of our relationship which means it's not just our relationship. in this case the mother of the kid would always be part of our lives and she has every right to because they are both parents of the child but this means the person would always be in contact with the ex and that's not ideal for any woman. The second reason is the fact that child is not mine, it's someone elses so it's very hard for a woman to really feel that genuine connection similar to that of a mother if she did not give birth to the kid herself. So if we add up the results here dating a guy with a kid could go either way. Either really really wrong or really really good because there is a good and bad to every situation. Now when a guy says I wouldn't date a woman with a kid he is also taking into consideration the above 2 factors that I mentioned. So I dont think a guy saying that he wouldn't date a woman with a kid means that he is being a dick he is just being realistic to the situation.

ImSparkly · Accepted Answer

I have been exclusive with a DILF since last fall. I have known him for almost five years, shortly after his kid was born and his wife died. Thankfully, death is pretty permanent and I dont have to deal with an ex. It would take someone stronger than me to deal with an ex. Blooms comments on the divorce reasons are pretty on spot.

My rule for someone who's divorced (or broke up from an LTR) was that the ink on all the decrees had to be dry for at least a year after things settled down. He needed time time to re-establish a baseline, especially with kids, find himself and their new normal. Becoming an instant parent are big shoes to step in. Its scary, finding boundaries, becoming attached, putting on your parenting hat (which if you've never done before is a bizzaro world), all while still trying to be a romantic partner, and kindle a relationship. How do you make it all work? It take a lot of effort and commitment which is really hard to establish when starting off.

I wish you all the best with starting a new.

KrakenAttackin · Accepted Answer

Forget about the skanks in your age group. Seriously. The females who are your age or younger are nominally out of there fucking minds. I am willing to bet you know this as you have custody of your child, which means your baby-momma is a total disaster as a human being.

Focus on your CHILD and YOURSELF. You really don't need a skank distraction.

Kaneki05 · Accepted Answer

This is one thing a girl loves or hates. You can find someone who will for sure. Just you find someones who won't. Most of the time it's just go for a women in the same position.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

My issue with a divorced guy is - either he choose a bad woman and is not an expert judge of character or he chose a decent woman and divorced her after she gave birth to his kids meaning he might do the same to me if I give birth to his kids - that is why I would hesitate - I don’t want a guy that will abandon me if I am old and dying one day and he and his first wife are divorced

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

The only reason I wouldn't date a guy with a kid is because I don't want a child myself. Biological or otherwise. I'm not interested in being a mother.

It would be very unfair to both you and your child. You both deserve someone who wants to love, nuture, and be a mother to your kid.

I would be very okay being friends. One of my best friends is a divorced guy with two boys.

I know a lot of divorced men with children. Most have had the misfortune of having a crazy ex-wife - I know this is perhaps not everyone's experience. But most divorced fathers I know are upstanding gentlemen, who could no longer bear the craziness or outright abuse of their wives (and sometimes of the wife on her child).

Anonymous · Answer

I dated a divorced guy (10yo kid). To me was nice saw him as a father for his attitude and have the perspective of someone in another stage of life.
The problem for me is that he never clarified things about his ex, I mean he never was honest if he went with his kid and his ex, he didn't talk me (even if was only to make to his son feel comfortable about the separation, that wasn't something bad). And always went to family meetings of her as a normal family.
So in my case, I don't think I could put myself in that position again.

silvermoon84 · Answer

Possibly. It really depends on the kids mother and what his relationship with her is. If they parted on good terms and she’s not interfering with his life and the kid (s) and I got along okay then I might consider it. If I feel that she’s going to interfere with my relationship with him then that’s different

Wonderer89 · Answer

Before having kids? No I wouldn’t have because it adds a whole layer of complexity to a relationship I’m not particularly interested in navigating. However after having a kid if I ever did find myself single again I’d be much more open to single fathers - having that in common would actually make dating a bit easier because they understand warring priorities, shared custody and having to deal with an ex

Anonymous · Answer

I met my fiance after i went through a divorce (I have no kids). He has been divorced and has two kids. There was not even a second that went by that it bothered me. I met this man, fell in live with him, and fel in love with his kids. Ex-wife drama sucks a bit, but she is not well mentally, so I tolerate it. You just need to find the right woman.

bobalife · Answer

I think single parents who really works hard & love their kids are attractive! :) But I would not consider if they still have some love drama or mixed feelings with their ex.

DiscomfortZone · Answer

1) You were in fact looking for dates, not female friends, so why lie about it (mostly to yourself)?

2) Many women are immature attention whores unable to contain a divorced dad. You don't need such filth in your life anyway. I hope you find a worthy woman who:d realize a kid isn't "baggage" but an advantage.

Mystic_Nova · Answer

Most likley not. Not worth the drama and me being second priority, and most likley third in his life.

estelle_ · Answer

If I had any interest in dating: It would depend on the entire situation, but i wouldn't be entirely opposed to it in general. I'd have to know more about someone's specific situation to decide if it would be something I'd be comfortable with or not.

FreyaRed · Answer

Honestly. No.  It's different if his child was living with his mother and this kid would visit him occasionally.

ellkell · Answer

You have to find someone on the same page as you. That's likely another divorcee or single parent. No one else is going to understand your life or be on your wavelength

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

I'm a married guy with a kid... get taken on dates and given great blow jobs and sex all the time... Just lift weights.

MissDawn7961 · Answer

no I would not date a - divorced father - for I do not want the trouble he had with his first wife and child to come into our marriage ! thanks

pleasestopthis · Answer

Maybe older women will. Most young women in their early 20s want to have a great time and dating a dad means they won't be a priority plus there's the possibility of having trouble with the mother.

FictionalCharacter · Answer

Not really, if there’s still communication with the ex.

chapawapa · Answer

I would not.. Plenty awesome women would, though. I just choose to live the kidless life 🤷🏽‍♀️

angeliquedevereux2 · Answer

I have had a short relationship with a single dad send I loved it. Do yes, would again

JosyJosy · Answer

Yes and hopefully the kid would be cool with me too. Sometimes it's hard, I bet

llorando · Answer

Nope, I'd have no problem with him having kids, but his XY chromosomes would be a major turn off.

Would you date a divorced guy with a kid?

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