How picky are you to avoid dating a person because their past is a dealbreaker? (Page 2)

Question

I recently (actually, it’s been a bit now but it’s a good example) got rid of a guy because he has tattoos and because I wasn’t willing to be his fifth sexual partner. His demeanor isn’t what I want in a man either, but you get the idea of what I’m asking. To me, I see it as the past is permanent so it cannot be fixed, and some things just don’t settle with me. I’m one who absolutely cannot accept certain things. It’s like marrying a criminal in my view; it’s the past but it is permanently effective. And I ask this for one reason: I get that judging someone on his/her past is not really an accurate or best way to go, but are there any who get my point and share it, or does this make me kind of evil? Because no, it can’t change. This is my view. Because I’ll be honest: the first month or two I talked to him he had had a crush on me and he was very kind and treated me well. He made a simple mistake and I found out these things and just - well, that did it for me. Completely turned me off. I can’t lie: he was amazing as far as treatment. And this has been a while ago, but it’s my best example.

SirRexington · Answer

The past is like a shadow, it follows you wherever you go, the light shines it into view. It haunts you like a spectre you can't rid yourself of. That's why personal responsibility is so important.

I have only a few deal breakers but sadly women and men have low low standards nowadays. All I ask is she doesn't have more than 5 partners, that she doesn't smoke or do drugs and that she likes my taste in music. That's it.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

High body count is scrictly determined by their appearance and age.

For example.

If you take two attractive women and one is 20

And the other is 30

And both have the same body count of say...

10?

I’d always go with the 30 y/o

Every day. Why? Cause it means she isn’t a slut, and nobody wants a slut

Wewladdy · Answer

You're wrong about someone's past not being an accurate judgment of them. Their past is based off their morality and everything, unless there's a paradigm shift. But even then, you can't change the fact that a person is a whore, or has other issues, and is unsuitable for a relationship.

It's not being picky. It's being smart. Why the hell would I invest the rest of my life into a whore?

winterfox10 · Answer

Did you ever doubt that you were his priority? Because I feel like the most important thing is whether or not the person makes you their priority. I’ve never dated anyone with more than 5 partners though

Avicenna · Answer

It depends. If she's in a big financial hole, suffers from mental illness due to her past, was a sex worker, has kids, has a history of STDs or can't commit and has trust issues due to her past, yeah, those are all dealbreakers.

NameWidNoFace · Answer

Nah you’re jus a bitch, it’s shallow to dump someone cos a tattoo but whatever

keep being you, keep being a bitch

personally I would date someone for who they are, I wouldn’t care about their tattoos if I loved them

Anonymous · Answer

It is not so much the past more about how they deal with it and take charge of the present.

but things i wouldn’t accept is domestic violence, violence toward children, someone who left their kids for no reason at all. Would never be with someone who accuses me or something and can’t take responsibility for themselves.

for me i don’t see tattoos as a dealbreaker and i wouldn’t mind being a man’s 5ft or even 10th or 20th sexual partner.

spartan55 · Answer

I guess his tattoos were cool when you first got together? You didn't see them?

Juxtapose · Answer

Wow, only his fifth? I would consider that inexperienced still.

KeziL · Answer

I can look past a lot if I feel someone is worth dating. I don't much mind their past, it's how they treat me in the present. Obviously their past can tell you a lot about who they are and how they act, but I will judge them based on the present too.

TremorJay · Answer

I'm more interested in where they are going than where they have been.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Im very harsh with somethings and not harsh with others. For example if a girl did something generally dumb i dont care. But if she made poor sexual choices then she's gone.

Sevenpointfive · Answer

i can't date someone i know has dated someone i've known or had sex/messed around with them

Anonymous · Answer

I'm willing to do overlook a girls past if she's moving towards a brighter more stable future and if that means eliminating old friends who continue to do stupid things then so be it. But if people are living their life vicariously one day at a time with low self esteem and not changing their ways. Why would I give her a chance?

Anonymous · Answer

The only thing thats a deal breaker for me is a criminal past, or having had hundreds of sexual partners.. I personally have only had 8 including my wife. My wife before me had only had 2. if it goes beyond 10 im not interested. I dont get along well with promiscuity.

MCheetah · Answer

They are "dealbreakers" for a reason. Most I won't budge on, unless she makes some SERIOUS efforts to amend for her past (that's assuming she even needs to).

Jjpayne · Answer

I have to give a person a little mercy. Besides I look at a person's present highlights rather than their past faults.

AlwaysBelieving · Answer

I'm not picky about a gal's past. The thing I realized is that we ALL have a past. Even if you don't have a "past", there is a reason for that and that might be even "bigger" than a person with a past.

iFarted · Answer

Whats the difference from being a person 2nd 5th or even 10th sexual partner? It's still not the 1st.

I'm don't dwell on their past unless its quite extreme like they have a history of cheating and crime.

Anonymous · Answer

If a woman has a high body count I won't even touch them. I dont date prostitutes, I have standards.

How picky are you to avoid dating a person because their past is a dealbreaker? (Page 2)

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