Does absence makes the heart grow founder? or out of sight out of mind?

[Dreamy2020]

This question is for people who have someone they like or have a crush on. Do you like them more if you haven't seen them in a while? Or do you actually forget about them and lose your interest.

Updates

+1 y

*Fonder. Noticed it now smh.

[Anonymous]

Gonna find my Greta, gonna hold her tight
Gonna grab some afternoon Greta delight
My motto's always been 'when it's Greta, it's right'
Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night?
When everything's a little clearer in the light of day
And we know the night is always gonna be there any way
Thinkin' of Greta is workin' up my appetite
Looking forward to a little afternoon Greta delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together with Greta makes the sparks ingite
And the thought of lovin' Greta is getting so exciting
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon Greta delight
Afternoon Greta delight
Afternoon Greta delight
Started out this morning feeling so polite
I always though a fish could not be caught who wouldn't bite
But you've got some Greta bait a waitin' and I think I might try nibbling
A little afternoon Greta delight
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon Greta delight
Afternoon Greta delight
Afternoon Greta delight
Please be waiting for me, Greta, when I come around
Greta we could make a lot of lovin' 'for the sun goes down
Thinkin' of Greta is workin' up my appetite
Looking forward to a little afternoon Greta delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite
And the thought of lovin' Greta is getting so exciting
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon Greta delight
Afternoon Greta delight
Afternoon Greta delight
Afternoon Greta delight!

[OlderAndWiser]

I think it is easier to not think about someone if the bond is not firmly established. After the bond is in place, absence does make the heart grow fonder.

[OlderAndWiser]

Update: At least you didn't say, "Absence makes the heart grow flounder!"

[Dreamy2020]

Haha true!

[Alyssa11]

I really sincerely think it depends on the person and how they are wired.

For me, personally, out of sight = out of mind. I've always known that when I need to get over someone, I just have to completely avoid seeing them and get rid of seeing anything that reminds me of them. That ALWAYS works for me.

But that's not always the case for everyone. I know that for some people, they grow to miss the person more and appreciate their presence more when they're absent. I just can't say that applies to me though.

[CurlyGirl42]

For me it is mostly out of sight out of my. I can feel very happy about someone the day and morning after we depart, and sometimes a few days longer, but it gradually decreases without any contact. Sometimes it gets a step up if something remind me of that person, or I get to talk about them.

[Dreamy2020]

What if you follow them on social media? Will their presence on social media make you miss them?

[CurlyGirl42]

Well that is not exactly out of sight then :D. It is less effective than meeting and direct messaging, but will remind me of the person, and maybe make me miss them, sure.
I did also get some crushes mainly by dreaming them up by getting to know them through social media xD. I did not like that so much though, more fantasy than real life, so I avoid it more or less these days.

[Dreamy2020]

You are right! Thats why we should always unfollow exes and unrequited loves from social media. It does help.

[coachTanthony]

---------Well if they smother you day in and day out then hell yeah its good to get some absence. If you are both airline pilots then yes absence does make the heart grow fonder.

[PushOrganic]

Lol!!!

[jennifer_bloom]

It depends on the person - I like to have both space and emotional intimacy with people

[TruthBringer]

First of all, a strong connection does make the heart grow fonder. But give it too much absence and it will turn into a 'out of sight, out of mind' scenario. Our connections with people must be maintained. Missing someone is your brain motivating you to get in touch with that person. If given enough time, the brain will learn to cope without that person and move on.

This is a VERY common thing within long distance reationships. Most people are unfit to maintain a LDR. Hence why most (not all) LDRs fail. Someone will start to feel attracted to the people who ARE in their vicinity. Because out of sight, out of mind, remember?

[NyceGuyFinishingLast]

Absence does make the heart grow fonder... of some one else depending on how much time has passed. This is why distance relationships don't work put. A couple are together, one gets a job that is further away and has to move. They only get to see each other on thew weekends. So as time passes someone else is taking up their time the other five days. People will disagree with this but it happens. I had a friend I worked with that was married and they were moving to another state for a job. She went ahead and moved and he stayed behind to sell the house and tie up some loose ends. Come to find out she had been cheating on him. So he drove all the way out there got her car while she was at work. It was in his name and drove it all the way back here and sold it with all her stuff in it. I could imagine how confused she was when she was leaving for work.

[Anonymous]

In my personal experience, yes I believe it does grow stronger.
I agree with a earlier comment that it does matter on the bond you and the other person shared.
I believe this is also why it is so important to be happy within yourself before having a significant other. Have your own life so that smothering won't even be a thing. They are busy, you can be busy too. Then when y'all come back together passion is on fire.
What is too much time? Honestly depends on each scenario. I have a girl in my life, we share a emotional attachment, she dissappeared out of my life for 2 months only to come back with just as much attraction to me as ever. Definitely wouldn't have been that way if I was constantly up her ass. No, I went and did my own thing. Got on with my own life. Crazy how if a woman really likes you and sees she isn't getting all of your attention she will come back quick to get it back. Sorry for the ramble, hope my opinion helps 👌

[Bananaman177]

For men, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

For women, I think it's the opposite. They only live in the here and now. As far as they can see is the extent of their world.

Just ask any soldier, lol. Women can't be loyal to a guy who isn't there day after day. It's only a matter of time before some enterprising Jody comes along and the longer you've been away, the quicker she'll turn into putty in his hands.

[5thforyou]

Why would you say that absence makes the heart grow fonder for a guy?

[Bananaman177]

@5thforyou Women are stuck in the here and now, men are always dreaming of the future or the past.

[5thforyou]

Does it mean when a guy crushes on a gilr but hasn't seen her for long, he would still have feelings for her?

[Jamie05rhs]

@5thforyou Yes.

[Dreamy2020]

Interesting! I have heard about this. That men always come back to the person they dumped after a certain time. Do you think it is true?

[Bananaman177]

Always? No.

[Jamie05rhs]

Wait- no one said anything about the guy dumping the girl. @Dreamy2020

[mk200195]

I read this quote long ago and in my opinion is quite true. Besides when it comes to love, the French know best;


"Absence is to love as wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small and kindles the great." ~ Roger de Bussy-Rabutin

[Dreamy2020]

Thats beautiful!

[Sandy_C]

I guess it depends on the person. But I experienced a mix of both.


I had a crush that I met a few years ago, we talked here and there, then I didn’t see or hear from him in over a year. During that year, I still would think about him and wondered when I’ll see him again, but I also realized that they are many other guys out there so I slowly started to detach.


Then we got back into contact very randomly lol.

[lilyanony1]

Absence only makes the genitals wonder...
When you truly love someone you don't let a day pass where you keep in contact especially in these here modern times.

In the past you knew that you had to be an honourable person and keep your word in instances of distance and that was painful.

[Espresso-Grande]

It would depend on who the person was.

If it was just someone I was crushing on, I'd start to lose interest , because the less I saw them, the less I'd think of them.

But if I was in a relationship with a partner who worked away for weeks or months at a time , I'd long to see him again and he'd be on my mind all the time.

[CuriousBear2003]

I find I really miss him after and it leads me to feel more compassionate. Everyone is different though. My boyfriend doesn't like distance because he can't handle more than 3 weeks away tops, I guess that's the kind of person he is. I can go at least 1 solid month. Distance is one of those things, where it can make something like relationships an inconvenience.

[Jesscurious92]

Maybe I shouldn’t answer lol but for me idc if I see you or don’t see you for awhile.. if I LIKE you a lot I’m going to still like you.. You might not be on my mind all the time but once I see you I’m going to still be attracted to you & like you unless something physically change about you during the time I don’t see you.

[Dreamy2020]

I agree with you. Me too. My feelings never change just because I haven't seen them in a while. But I think we are in minority haha.

[CYNIC4ALL]

Not if the desire was never present. It can also be said, that out of sight is indeed out of mind.
So don't ponder how much you were missed after a fifteen year hiatus, only to find out she's been twice divorced with five children and three baby daddies.

[Natehunter199]

I think it can go both ways. But back when i first met my wife and we would go weeks or a month in-between seeing one another. It was exciting to spend time together. But after 17 years of marriage, seems like she couldn't wait for me to be gone so she could spend time with her other boyfriends

[DizzyDesii]

For me, no. Stay gone too long and im honestly ready to move on. I’d only stick around if we’re already official and have been dating longterm. Anyone else would have to cut me loose and we may pick things back up when theyre back aroundo

[ChattyGuy43]

The absense after my ex & I split up did make me grow fonder for her as we loved each other very much for the 5 years we were together & the sex we had was amazing, best I have had up until the break up.
If there was anything I was glad for, I could start to save money as she wasn't working at the timeand sponging off of me weekly.

[DeeToPlay]

You say that you were in love yet you consider caring for her financially when she was not employed as " springing off you"?

[WesBrewer]

If it's a crush, distance can make the crush diminish, If you already are dating and move far away then all you need is to talk a lot, probably an hour a day. If your partner thinks that's too much or says they don't have time, then they aren't worth your time either, and end it I would say.

[RawIronhide]

I never forget about anyone. I think it's a balance. I want to miss you but I also want to keep in touch when I can't see you. A message from anyone is so nice these days just to let someone know you haven't forgotten them but if you don't ever message me, I'm moving on. I'm just to busy and there's so many people to meet even if I really like you, you better show some effort.

[The_Inquisitor]

I don't know if this counts but my late Fiancé when she passed all every day i feel more and more in love with her is that weird? I just want to see her again even if its only for a second, I'd do anything just to see her

[The_Inquisitor]

thinking about it thats probably why deadpool 2 hit me so hard

[pajamasam]

Sometimes yes and sometimes no. This is only true if you e already established a deep connection in my esperience.