Does absence or being out of sight or out of mind make the heart grow fonder?

[naijagurl]

I always thought that taking time away from someone was an easy way to get over them and because of that I thought this summer would bring the perfect opportunity to get over my ex. I have quickly seen that that isn’t the case. I’ve honestly gone about 20 steps backwards and I really don’t know what to do anymore. What works better for you? Does time away just make your feelings grow stronger or does it weaken them?

[btbc92]

No. It's choice when you decide to bond and connect with people especially when one is very lonely. I haven't seen one of my closest friends in three years since she got married to her now ex-husband. I just now met her again about three weeks ago, and it still feels the same as if we just met each other the first time. I say when it comes down to relationships with people, while it is our job to take care of our relationships, what will be will be. If it's meant to be it will be. If it's not it won't. If you cannot get over your ex, that means two things or three. Either you had sex with him outside of marriage which I can believe. That is a major issue. And is why you do not do that before you were married because now you are bound to that person spiritually for the rest of your life. That will never go away. But it will mean that you have no choice but to deal with it as of the people who make those choices have to as well. If that relationship was never sexual and you are still a virgin, then the next possible issue is that you have grown so emotionally attached to this person without even really figuring out that somebody that's actually going to stay with you forever. Well you are not always going to be responsible for another person's decisions or choices , you do got to be responsible for your own. And when you are forced to be accountable for it is going to hurt a lot worse. The next one is lacking proper boundaries. When you like boundaries you are open to having a lot of problems in your life that can stop you from growth and maturing into becoming the kind of woman that you want and need to be. Especially the kind of woman that is able to be of service and help for other people. Bonds can last as long as we allow it. If one does not care for such bonds it will cut on its own. But it can leave damage and hurt the other because the other end of that rope the other person is dealing with it.

There is not one thing that we can tell you that can make things better for you. You have to be able to focus on self and I would say to pray about it. Whether you believe in God or not prayer is extremely essential to human life, as we need to be able to let go and let life flow with us. Because of more we keep holding on, the more we allow it to rot as from the inside, and the more we end up killing ourselves. So you have to decide what and not if you ready to move on because we cannot do that for you. No amount of time is going to get go away. You just got to be the one to actually close the door and not wait for the other person to do it for you. You have to be willing to actually start a new chapter in your life, and stop going back to see what you miss. You got to decide when you going to move on. And when you decide to move on just do it. There's no need to think about it anymore because you already had your thoughts. Now it's just time to take action.

[DizzyDesii]

Does it make my heart grow fonder. Nope it makes my heart wonder. On to the next guy 🤷

[rjroy3]

Getting over an ex is not based on time. It's a process that can usually take place overtime. But time itself means nothing. If in your mind you compare every man to your ex, you tell yourself you feel xyz about your ex every single day. If you actively fantasize about moments you had with your ex every day.

Then you are actively taking part in holding onto your ex and the past relationship. You have to consciously decide to let go and move on. You have to feel the emotions that came from your breakup. Let yourself experience them and after fully experiencing them you let them pass through you.

Think of it like crying it out. Crying is the physical process of letting an emotion inside, letting the emotion be there and when you're done, letting the emotion pass away. Because that's what they do naturally.

What you're doing is essentially seeing the emotion coming off in the distance like a rain cloud. Freaking out saying no no no as you run away from the cloud that you can't outrun. It gets to you and rather than letting the cloud be, then floating on past you. You're fighting it, trying to outrun the rain and therefore staying in the rain longer than if you simply let it be, come and go on its own.

[GreenGold1992]

As far as exes are concerned, out of sight, out of mine, but when you're in a relationship with someone you really like and they feel the same way about you and you both got a really good thing going on, then absence makes the heart grow fonder.

[TempestShadow]

It goes both ways. Absence makes the heart go stronger for a bit, then eventually it's out of sight out of mind. You ain't even notice you stopped thinking about them. Just kinda happens. Just live your life and do what you enjoy, you'll forget them.

[Phillip_Pinto]

Spend time with other people, find others that need/want to be your priority. How don't go about being gloomy all the time, try to be the change you want to see and all that.

[serious]

I am not how much that sentence is true. I really doubt that.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes i been away from all my ex's for quite sometime and i never got back with them
my advice is try dating other people and see if that works.

[genericname85]

no it makes them grow apart and you need to consciously make an effort to contain that or you'll drift out of reach.

[gorman24]

Time away should help you get over them. However have you tried dating other people and playing the field a little it may help

[humanearth]

Nope the more your separated the more the eyes wonder

[Azazeres]

I’m not sure if my most recent love was merely unrequited or obsessive, but it hurts anew every day.

[kate52]

yeah for sure. i create a picture of someone in my head much better than they really are

[Snakeyes7]

I definitely think so