What I am seeing with you you had a similar situation that I go through all the time. The thing is is that you're not unlucky and has nothing to do with being unlucky in love or being too picky. The promises. You're not building relationships with men that you can try to find compatibility with. There's a good reason why I always say friendships are the best way to truly get to know an individual for all the things you want romantically. And the reason being is that when you go out on dates and then you try to be romantic in a dating relationship, you miss a lot of red flags and keep things that is important for you to understand before you even make an attempt to want anything serious. These days people are not looking to get married, they don't want to get married young, they having sex outside of marriage, hookup culture is all the rage, and you pretty much understand the trends. This is not like Victorian era, Middle Ages, Renaissance, or any other era other than the 21st century. 20th century wasn't necessarily too bad. But the 21st century it's even worse. I wouldn't even want to know what the 22nd would even look like.
My suggestion for you instead of expecting man to approach you to ask me out on a date. You need to start mingling with individuals and built friendships. These should be with men that you think would make great friendships. This matters because the Promenade fine with most couples especially when they got married or when they started dating they often think about the superficial, when they're going to have sex, and when they going to get what they want sexually and personally instead of worrying about the true meaning of compatibility. Everything that you building a friendship goes with you into dating or courtship, and from dating and courtship along with a friendship goes into marriage. And the things that you learn from your family, to friendships, to question, to your marriage now gets passed on into your new family which is when you have your children. In other words, you got levels one through five. If you don't even make it to level one how are you going to make it to the other levels? The problem is that people expect to have a cheat sheet when it comes down to these things and the issue isn't that there's no point in having a cheat sheet if you're not willing to build and apply on what you learned. The thing is with these men they don't want anything to do with levels they just want to know if you're going to have sex with them or not. If it's not a yes from you, they're going to find somebody who does. So they don't find a need to put in work if they don't want to themselves. Then the men that wants to build up with you that either been broken and hurt themselves, or they don't know how to communicate with you because now you left the communication skills to speak to other men based on your experiences of dealing with men that's already stuff is to begin with.
So you're attracting selfish people because there's something within you that still very selfish. That doesn't mean you're entirely at fault. It just means you just need to be absolutely sure you understand who exactly you want to attract, and at the same time you won't know that until you interact with the kind of men you often don't think would be somebody for you. Key here is this. You don't go into friendships expecting more than what is realistic. If you don't understand what kind of employer the job that you want from, you're not going to know how to handle your job interview, as well as what is expected of your job. It's the same with dating. You got to think of it as an employer you want to investing. If you are the employer and you are seeking an employee, you're the hiring manager, you got to start thinking like one. Just remember to at the end of the day they are people too and they're more than just a resume. Now if they meet their resume and you like to resume their gift, then you already. Just remember to at the end of the day they are people too and they're more than just a resume. Now if they meet their resume and you like to resume. You may be at a good start. But if there's a lot of confliction, you may have to take a lot more time.
You will find your dream man and he will be an asshole... Best to focus less on checking all the boxes and find other connections such as humor, common interest, morals, intimacy — will he make a good Dad for my children etc. looks are important and to some degree you need that Sexual attraction but there are so many parts to a great relationship beyond looks. Besides that we all turn ugly when we get old anyway LOL. Best to find someone who can fill your life with joy then just look like a Roman statue. The statue is beautiful but you can’t do much with it. 😎
I enjoyed reading your comment and gave it a "thumbs up."
I also wanted to add that sexual attraction isn't always due to physical appearance. I met an overweight and homely woman that had fantastic listening skills and she had the capacity to understand people. I felt sexually attracted to her although there was nothing physically attractive about her.
I chose the first option. But I would say it's less about pickiness and more about not being clear about her priorities. Having a long list is nice (and fun to make), but it's not very practical.
I would suggest that she pick 5 traits in a partner she wants. Ideally, only one of those traits is a physical one. If she only got to have one physical trait, would she seriously pick something as absurd as height as a requirement? Perhaps, I don't know the kind of person she is. I do think it's very shallow and dehumanizing to disqualify a potential partner from one's dating pool based on a single physical feature that they cannot change.
I'm not saying that she won't find someone who ticks all her boxes (if they are many). However, finding such a person (and having that person like her back) is as likely as winning the lottery. I'd say the bad luck in love is self-inflicted in that case.
The 5-requirments (4 personality, 1 physical) rule might be a good start. It'll help her decide what is truly most important to her in a partner, and make her more open-minded/less shallow without forcing her to settle.
Everyone has a right to have preferences.
And even if you "lowered your standards" for physical features you're still screwed when it comes to personality. In today's society, most people are self-absorbed and self-centered and they can't see beyond their own nose unless they want something from you.
Opinion
31Opinion
I do think a lot of girls are way too picky (these cringey lists of attributes girls create for a man to have). They also forget how good they have it as a woman. Being the one whos getting approached and your only job is to pick the best one. Its hard to put in the spotlight. So many god damn things are expected of us when we approach girls and its hard. But there is not point in complaining. I think that a lot of guys do not put in the effort they are supposed to put in, as a man. a lot of guys already fail in the most basic things, like buying nice clothes, taking care of their hygine etc.
Unfortunately you have to understand your own value as a woman too. And if you expect men to deliver, you have to. I see quite a lot of women do the same thing as a lot of guys do. Sit on a high horse and think they deserve good things simply by existing.
She is too picky. He problem is, guys date down for sex but they don't marry down. However, since she can date guys out of her league that view her as an easy piece, she rejects less attractive guys within her league, that would marry her. By her mid twenties she is already past her most desirable age and the rate her desirability is falling is increasing. Already she can't get a few guys she could have had at age 20 and at age 30 her desirability will be far lower than it was at age 20. Then she will be asking, "Where have all the good men gone?" That is; the guys she rejected from age 18 to 24.
I think your priorities are in the wrong place. That's really the issue with what you are saying. It's ok to be selective but everything you are saying is downright superficial. There's more to people than that but you'll never find that out because you're not giving anyone a chance to prove you wrong. Don't complain about something that you brought on yourself.
What are you talking about? A woman tends to know in less than 5 mins. What you're talking about is way off base and it says right there that in the end you're showing your biasedness because you're upset that no one hasn't picked you for a partner. She's not being superficial she's basically saying with her preference is. I wouldn't go as far as to say that she's being picky per se. She doesn't owe those guys a chance. They owe it to themselves to respect her decisions. Is why a lot of women don't want to date random men. There's no point in her checking off boxes if she already doesn't necessarily feel that she may want to get to know a particular person. That goes for anybody and everything. If a person wants to know that individual they won't make that decision for themselves. I just said that in the sense she's not necessarily being realistic about what it is that she's really asking. At the same time she's not listing what boxes that she wants to check off. that doesn't help because we don't know what kind of man she needs or what she's even looking for. She has that right and it kind of makes sense why she says what she says. Short men are not something I find attractive personally but it has nothing to do with them, I just don't feel a certain way about them other than they're too short for me parent at the same time, she has a point about those men being flirting. It's not attractive except for those who played those games damn it so the issue really isn't her. She's not around the same people that meets the criteria that she wants. At the same time she's not being friends with these people, so that's what makes it more difficult for her to get to know them. Now it's these men say they don't want a friendship but they want to get stuck in the friend zone then it has nothing to do with her. It has to do with that guy.
You are the one missing out. I'm attempting to help you realize that. I am single but not because someone didn't "pick me" as if I'm at the mercy of women to find me desirable. I've yet to find someone who isn't full of themselves in this day and age. You do whatever you want.
I'm not missing out on anything and you can't tell me that because I already know for myself. You're not helping me you need to learn to help yourself. And to be honest everything you want to talk about me is actually you because you're expressing through your attitude that you're better. I don't think I'm fooling myself I just know myself to know I don't have to tolerate guys with your immature Behavior. What am I missing out on? Stress, hell and heartache? You can't help me realize anything that I already see clearly right in front of me.
I'll ask you like I asked anybody else. Why do I need a guy? Only shows your insecurities because in the end you I know you're the ones who is selfish. To be honest you are at someone's Mercy Because unless you're gay who is looking for you? I'm at no one's Mercy either. But no one's looking for me and I don't expect them to? I tell you like I tell everybody else. It's personal choice. I do not want to beg or even plead for anybody to be with me if they don't want to. Just like I cannot make anybody be my friend as I have learned since kindergarten. Not a can I make a man desire to be with me if he don't want to. It's free will. Respect others Free Will and your choices instead of telling them what they're missing out. In the end you're causing not only your own misery but you're not doing anybody else any good with that attitude. It ain't because you have yet to find somebody who wasn't full of themselves. It's simple because you don't even know yourself enough to be attracting the kind of person you said you want. Not only that a lot of you men like the maturity to even uphold a relationship to begin with. "You do whatever you want" is a KEY SIGNAL of immaturity. Do you honestly think anybody's going to be happy with a person who gives such a nasty tone and attitude? You didn't say anything nice we like you are free to do whatever you want. You say you do whatever you want. You know that communicate to me? It's my way or the highway. That's the message you communicate to women. So they are not going to look for you and that's why you keep attracting women who are just like you. Because in the end you're full of yourself.
You know how many times I am counting men all around me that have your attitude and they wonder why I would reject them right off the bat. Because I can tell by a person. There's a reason why I like to call myself a human lie detector. One look at you and I can tell who you lost the bet. Now let's you had a bad day then you got to work to prove to me that you're no fool you presented yourself as. There are people that wants to be around me, people that wants to be with me, and those who don't. I am not going to worry about those who don't. That's what it means to keep your expectations high but realistic. I'm not missing out on anything I hold no emotional attachments to. To be honest I don't need that kind of tone. Argue with yourself.
You youself id the one missing out. Until yiu decide to change, your partner will be fed up and either leave you or cheat with another man. Or your just going to be replaced. doesn't mean she was cheating. Just that the right person may have came at the right time. Then what? Your gonna wish you done differently. And depending how severe the emotional damage, she may not want to every again and any invitation in her life is now revoked.
The really good looking guys know they can get a lot of girls. Yes they’re eye candy and there are SOME who are complete diamonds in the rough, but whoever this girl is needs to lower her expectations (I said lower her EXPECTATIONS not her standards, there is a difference). Advice that I give to women is to go for the average looking guys who would love to date/marry them rather than the super hott looking guys who are willing to fuck them but not date or marry them.
I wouldn’t try to be less picky! If you have a certain type with specific standards eventually you will find that there are a lot of ideal candidates lol! I recommend focusing on yourself and embracing who you are so that you’re able to give that good energy and attract others that are likeminded. Traveling can also help! It’s very common to not be interested in a lot of people in your area so try to explore different places. The most important thing is to never settle for less. No matter what anyone says!
It’s all about balance. A guy might not check off every box, but create new ones and give you a relationship you never expected. My dad was the complete opposite of what my mom wanted when they met. She wanted a tall white guy with a Business degree, but married a short Filipino guy who worked audio tech in a recording studio. Don’t allow men to mistreat you, but also be open to someone not being tailored to your every expectation.
too picky. these type woman are usualy scared of settling down with a guy she doesn't know if he will harm him in the long term. its a good defense coping mechanism but at same time it doesn't work it just makes you lonely for the rest of your life would you want that?
She's unlucky. Just like whenever I play the lottery, my numbers never come up. Just like her only having a few boxes checked, I only have a number or two come up. But not all seven numbers. So sadly, I don't win the jackpot. Just a free ticket at best.
You’re lucky, and becoming older and less desirable with age. You’re becoming less and less attractive with each year. And pretty soon, not even the “short not good enough guys” won’t want you anymore. Cause a decent woman with morals will scoop him. And you’ll be single and unattractive.
I would say too picky, especially if you're looking for a serious relationship. In the grand scheme of things, in a serious relationship, looks are not as important as the bond you will form with the person, and that bonding is heavily influenced by who they are as a person, not by their looks.
It's your life but i have met a lot of women who were too picky and ended up single and unmarried till this day. I'm just saying lower your physical expectations down because what matters the most is who stays in your life through hard times.
I´d say she´s unlucky because getting a relationship shouldn´t that she found one for just being in it. Finding a partner can be a long and hard process because one doesn´t want to break after just a couple of weeks and start over again.
So let's see: A woman only gets approached by unattractive men. But if they are attractive, they're flighty or have bad personalities. But if they are attractive, aren't flighty and are nice, then they're short.
Yeah, read through your post again, and if you have an IQ over 80, I think you will see that the problem isn't with the guys at all but with the woman.
Must be too picky then. If you are looking for a 10/10 guy in every area, you have to be 10/10 in every area yourself or you cannot blame it on bad luck.
🤨 What’s this whole deal with rejecting “short” guys? Put him in a pair of cowboy boots or something. It won’t matter when you’re horizontal.
Too picky.
And here's the kicker... go ask out the guys you DO like.
This sitting around hoping the guy you want approaches you is so lame.
She is picky if all she is doing is waiting for guys to ask her out yet her list off what she wants is super specific
She's needs to widen hey dating pool.. Either that or she is being too picky. But the choice is always to date someone or to remain single.
That guy who checks all your boxes probably has come along, but decided that you don't check all his boxes, so he passed you up for someone better. If you're not perfect, it's best not to demand perfection.
Meanwhile all the good guys are passing her by or getting left behind
Just unlucky. Mid 20's doesn't describe your looks, but yeah women get to sit back and see what offers they get. You could always try throwing hints or hitting on guys you like, but you have to be able to handle rejection.
Prob too picky. Some standards are good but too many is like why...
She sounds picky. If the guy she wants doesn't come her way, why don't she go looking for him instead?
I think it's fine for girls to approach, I wish more girls thought like this. You want a relationship, work for it.
If you want a true love see whether the guy is well settled and good in character and won’t leave you . Looks changed with age
She's a shallow dimwit who puts too much merit to insignificant things like looks & height. Most decent guys would avoid her like the plague.
“Check all the boxes”
Lmao get over yourself
Waiting is not an excuse. That’s just code for being lazy. We’re all ultimately responsible for our own experiences, if you sit back and wait and get nothing, that’s on you.
Maybe. In any case she should reconsider some things
Pretty soon she have to start dating women. Men talk and she’ll be lonely
She should try approaching the guys she’s interested in. They probably have no idea that she’s available.
For quality fishes you need quality lures.
What does flighty mean?
They’re hot and cold
Sorry to say it, but that woman is too picky.
i think both those things can come together xD
This is the normal experience for most women.
He has not come around yet.
and VERY superficial...
This, is the definition of women
Let's date
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