Why did he stop initiating contact? Is he ghosting?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been texting this guy for over 3 months. We saw each other once before lockdown and we’ve FaceTime a couple of times and got naughty twice. The other day I told him it was going to be my birthday and he said “sending you lots of love wish I was there to hug you” and I told him to save the date and he said “I SHALL”. The day came, he watched all my ig stories and said nothing which I thought it was really odd. Then he texted me 4 days after my birthday, a week after our call.
He texted the following:
“How are you? xxx Did you have a marvelous birthday? 😃😃😃”

I took 7h to get back to him and texted:
“Well it was almost a week ago... yeah it was a great day”
And then he said:
“Sorry I missed it. But last week I found my old piano teacher is in hospice and I was a mess...” (he’s kind of a famous pianist so that’s why)
Then I found she’s in hospice but she won’t be getting better, she’s going to die.
Nevertheless I think he could’ve send me a short text on the day given he watched all my ig stories as I remember he posted a story on that day too at a wine taste event on zoom lol.

He keeps watching all of my stories but it’s been 2 weeks since our last conversation. Why would he stop?

Updates

+1 y

We were even planning on meeting up soon before the lockdown ended! He was going to invite me to his place or meet at the park. Also why would he come back a week later to acknowledge my birthday and then disappear?

[Truthbewithyou]

This is most likely bread crumbing. It is a way of leading you on and slowly becoming more and more distant.
He's watching your socials so you won't forget him in your mind.
There is only one excuse that will work as to why a man couldn't text you and let you know what's going on and that is that some tragic incident happen that left him in immobile in the hospital. Other than that, he is relying on his excuse to get away with the distant communication.

I have heard it all before: Someone close dies, family drama, work drama, or the classic: "I was busy with work" so I couldn't text, call, or respond. Yet, they are on some online platform leaving their mark. They can contact you, they just don't want to.

This guy was so in shambles about his piano teacher yet, he was able to watch your social media and post his own story at a wine tasting event. That doesn't sound like a mess to me. That sounds like you know exactly what you're doing.

Why would he come back a week later to acknowledge my birthday and then disappear? To play on your emotions. He's watching your socials so you won't forget him in your mind. He contacted you after a week of your bday to see if you're still emotionally attached after he disrespected you. You showed him you are. So now he goes; I can pull this again for probably for a month this time.

[Asker]

Woow best reply I’ve seen so far!! So you think he’ll be coming back?

[Asker]

I kinda wish he did so I can kick his arse

[Truthbewithyou]

Yes, but it is not because he truly wants to be with you. It will be because he is having a dry spell which means no women so he goes back through the women he once talked to get an ego boost.

[Truthbewithyou]

Sorry, what I meant is yes, he will ONLY return if he is having a dry spell.

[Asker]

Also I think he stopped all communication at least for now cause I think his aware of what he’s done and maybe he thinks I’m pissed and wants to give it a break before he can come around again and take what he wants. This guy feels so manipulative and narcissistic kind of behavior Gosh...

[Asker]

Cause he also knows after what he’s done that if he were to sweet talk me straight after it wouldn’t be as effective as he thinks might be if he disappears for a couple of weeks and them comes back.

[Asker]

I mean either this or he completely lost interest

[Truthbewithyou]

Most men are going to lay traps for them to be narcistic and manipulative. A man who is pulling the disappearing act has no interest in taking the woman they are doing this to seriously. Men won't disappear from a woman, they know is a catch. I'm sorry but if this man returns most likely two things are going to happen. He's going to do it again or you're going to tell him about himself and you won't hear from him again. He is not going to come back and treat you right.

[likelyOK]

Yea this is bread crumbing where people slowly go away but not texting you on your birthday but watching your stories is a TELLTALE asshole move for this behavior. Don’t people know not responding but watching all your stories is worse than just Fucking off in the first place?

[Asker]

So you think he might be coming back?

[likelyOK]

No it means he is going away

[VanillaSalt]

Maybe his piano teacher’s news came AFTER wine tasting? Maybe he didn’t ghost because you didn’t try sending a new message after you stopped hearing from him. If I went a week without talking to you after talking every day and you didn’t text to see if I was okay ide dump your ass.

[Cowboy6666]

hmm i think he lost interest in you
I know ghosting sucks
it has happened to me too many times
but life goes on, try to talk with a guy like me who loves texting and initiating conversation.. follow my profile if you want.. up to you :)

[Asker]

Why would he lose interest and still watch all my stories? He was even planning to invite me to his place at some point and we were planning to meet before the lockdown end

[Cowboy6666]

maybe he is seeing someone else

[Asker]

I mean it’s not like he ghosted. It’s just none of us initiated contact again and I sent him a hi how are you 2 days after his texts but deleted the text straight after

[Asker]

And I think he knows cause he gets notifyed

[Cowboy6666]

you deserve a better guy, believe me babe , move on

[Anonymous]

I have experienced the same and many of my other friends as well. I heard a guy friend the other day say that he didn't text happy bday to the girl he is seeing on the same level as you seem to be seeing this guy- because he didn't want things to become too serious yet.
I've also experienced that the contact just fades out without no clear reason. Although the guy has been very loving and initiating the last times we’ve met.
Guys are just weird in the behaviour and I really don’t understand their actions in many many situations.