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That's right but when it comes to your surrounding it's a bit harder. Since forever I had many criticizes : "You look tired !", "You took some weight". Some girls I considered as friends even told me : "you're not that pretty", "your sister is so much prettier" and so on. I could let it pass and build myself up but then I realized that it all came out in my relationship. It's been one year and I still am scared of tomorrow. Scared of not being enough, scared of not being able to keep a man just with who I am. Maybe also because he is not praising me as I would want to. When I see him smile to other girls, admire them or just look at them, it hits back lol. I just smile or take a bit of distance but in the long run, I really would like to like myself to the point of all of this would be obsolete for me.
Talk to your partner about love languages and find out each others and use them daily. If he’s not willing to reassure you as you build your self confidence then he ain’t the one ! Communication in any relationship is key! You aren’t the only one dealing with traumas... we all have them so you need to communicate that with him and yourself !
I would add communication and timing. I'm communicating with him on this but his timing and tact are not up to date lol. My inner work is far more important and thank you for emphasizing I'm not the only one :)
*"The belief you can get something done well."
Dear Lord, that hits deep deep. That's inspiring. It takes a lot of time indeed but this is exactly the kind of self confidence I'm focusing at. If you have any references, books, lecturer please do share !
That's really an interesting view. I should write a diary you motivated me !
That's good to hear! Hope it works for you :)
Tell me what bothers you I will help you
The man who loves will accept you the way you are and will be there for you you no matter what. And if no loves you then be independent, enjoy life, love yourself and be happy.
I like your comment. Being different attracts attention indeed. Trust me when you survive a toxic environment, some people even with a million tought a day would still gossip and stab you in the back. My insecurities are an accumulation of events and memories that I was digging inside. It became part of my personnality, increased my sensitivity and even turned out in reflexes and self defense mechanisms. My point is to get out of there and be at peace. Carrying a load can be tiring inconsciously and trying to find a harmony in your couple is sometimes a real struggle.In between expectations, deceptions and realizing that not everyone has the same heart as you can hurt but make you grow. I'm trying to find the right tempo in my life and adjustements. I believe that loving yourself is sometimes the heardest part. And that's also the key to accept and welcome it from your loved ones :)
Like body-positivity. That's such a Western thing. I don't think people need body-positivty so much as body acceptance. I don't need gymnastics-positivity. I can't even do a backflip. I just accept that I can't and I'm okay with that (and maybe I can work on that if I really care enough).
Completely agree. Accepting failures is also a further step. I was being said one time :treat yourself as you would treat a friend. I'm working on it :)
This made me smile. I had lots of hobbies that I didn't pursue, also because some people told me that I won't succeed. Maybe it's time to get back to it and try new things. I know that small successes give me a boost. I should indeed challenge myself and close myself to negativity.
Go for it! However, you fail at something, at some point, everyone does, it's rally only a failure if you learn nothing form the experience. Having said that, you'll do fine. Just do some research first to make sure it's something you can do and might like, like don't sign up for the X-games on day one lol. Take it in stride, I tried scuba diving a few years back and love it, I'm bad at it, but it was great, I ended up not finishing the course due to getting sick and having other obligations at the time. Keep trying and you'll get there :)
I get you. I'm thankful for that : in my job I know my worth and what I can do. If it's a failure I learn, and in the process I always rewire my intentions. The lack of self confidence is more in my private sphere not in the professional one as I learned to back myself up in the second one. The process of building it up and healing is different for both. I agree with confronting your fear. I would say even if you make mistakes that's still growing and polishing your future self.
Shaping my body could help I need to be more healthier thats definite. Spirituality brings me more joy and hope thats for sure.
Pray to the Lord Jesus Christ
That's exactly the point.
Whatever you are going through I hope you can work through it. I wish you the best.
Thank you ! I wish you the best too ! Big ups !
A life coach and therapist would be the best investment actually.
It's not always black or white. I'm extremely sensitive too.
You have no idea lol
Especially in those times !
On Which times
I will :)
Nah it's not a matter of being needy here, but building your inner self and swipe left on negativity and expectations. That's an inner work and it pops out more in a relationship.
And I hope you will find your answer too.
Girl I sincerely hope that's not your secret way to boost yourself with confidence smh 🤷♀️😅