Can you be seen as confident but still sometimes reveal insecurities?

[Still-alive]

like you can be overall confident but sometimes have insecurities still?

does being confident mean you can never show insecurities? If so How would you know if someone is still confident despite their insecurities?

so for instance I feel generally confident but i still admit that there are a feel areas i get insecure about. Wheres the line for you between confidence and insecure to you? What do you think?

Yes it is possible to be confident but still have insecurities

No if you’re confident you dont show insecurities

It depends on what they are insecure about

Updates

+1 y

My big insecurities were just talking to people in person and i have had some issues feeling like other people won't like me or find me boring and then start ignoring me for that. i have gotten mucchh better with all of this but still sometimes it gets to me

[devilish-cutie]

i have huge issue with this as well, most people will say im confident yet if i ever show weakness (and i actually confidently do lol; cause im also a bit crazy and dont care in the moment but...) later i am so harsh on myself and makes feel i was pathetic. The issue here is with perfectionism. If the person is confident 80% of the time that makes them confident still lol. I think its about being too hars on ysf and too perfectionistic and like going to extreme. But we are all h umans, not robots and should be more understanding towards ourselves, its more about harmony within. You can actually be confidently insecure lol. If you know what I mean, eg. I am being very firm and about things some people may find awkward or just admitting and accepting you are insecure about something and owning it without letting ysf feel bad about it. There shouldn't be shame there as we are all humans and being sometimes insecure its also charming. Also think about other people that are sometimes insecure, do you find them pathetic? Usually no! Mostly we are just too harsh on ourselves.

[Still-alive]

“its more about harmony within.” oh I totally get this one. That about describes what im experiencing these days. Everything feeels aligned, pieced together into a whole. Amazing stuff.

[AmandaYVR]

Of courseeeeeeee. Being confident means that you have enough humility to admit that you are not perfect (far from it) and are fully aware that we all have vulnerabilities, no one is exempt from that.

Being able to speak these things (thoughtfully, when appropriate) is what gains people's respect. And often when you do share these things, they share as well. It is bonding. The depth of the comment or admission is obviously related to the circumstances and how well you know the person. You can say, "Oh excuse me, I didn't see you there" to a person in line in a store that you didn't mean to bud ahead of; or you can tell a good friend "I have a habit of doing... and I'm sorry. I'm working on that."
Either way, pretending you have no issues is what really gets you into trouble. Or living a lonely life. Or a life at work of not being respected.

[Still-alive]

Awesome thank you Amanda i totally see what you are talking about here. i do tend to think showing vulnerabilities goes a long way for people.

[AmandaYVR]

Thanks. Yeah. I know there's a bunch of people (like on here) who say you must never show vulnerabilities because people will take advantage of that. The latter part is sometimes true. But a blanket statement about never showing any is just wrong Whether it's in work or in friendships or love, it can absolutely be beneficial and strengthen, not erode, relationships. There will be some that it will work against you, they'll treat you badly or shame you, etc., but their reaction is information. It helps you weed out the wheat from the chaff of life. As Anthony Hopkins said, 'Screw 'em!"

[TurboKid]

Confidence is contextual as I see it. Some people could be confident when a building erupts on fire but become all nervous when talking to people they're attracted towards. Some people could be very confident socially but become paranoid when they're put in a role where they have to be in charge of the safety of other people. Some people could be confident in most dangerous situations but can't swim and panic when they're put in water. Some people could be confident at a social event talking to everyone but be nervous and insecure as public speakers. Some people are the opposite.

Yet the most resilient type of confidence as I see it comes from someone who isn't afraid to fail, not someone who is sure they'll succeed. So part of what I see as molding and shaping an overall confident person in all contexts is the ability to admit their flaws and insecurities, and perhaps as part of an acknowledgment process that helps them to overcome those flaws and insecurities.

[TurboKid]

In response to the update, I was one of the oddballs where I had a shy steak during my teenage years so I got insecure and afraid of talking to people. I think it was kind of an artificial case since what prompted it was largely moving to countries where I had to learn to speak English and adapt to new cultures, and during my transition process, I became almost deathly afraid of talking to people.

Yet funnily, I wasn't at all afraid of public speaking and even performing large roles in theater, and I think it's because I had my lines memorized. I didn't have to improvise. I was afraid of improvising in English.

I think I've largely overcome most of my practical insecurities but I still have one, and that's when I'm in charge of other people's safety. I'm a software dev but I would never want to take a mission-critical job where a mistake I made in code can result in someone else's death since that would make me totally paranoid. Funnily I'm an adrenaline junkie and vert skater not so concerned with my own safety, but I'm very paranoid about taking big roles that put me in charge of safety over others (perhaps, in part, because I'm a bit reckless with my own). That's an insecurity I'm not sure I ever actually want to overcome.

[ChrisMaster69]

Yeah definitely, I’m confident but due to depression and PTSD have a bunch of things I juggle.

a lot of it is down to simply overcoming the latter two.

it’s mainly when I get emotionally attached that I am sort of vulnerable, however once both are trusting each other, this then disappears.

[Still-alive]

ah damn i see didn't know you suffered from these things. Are you receiving help for them? therapy?

I used to have a bit of depression for a long time but i seemed to have recovered a bit. I still sometimes get anxious in social situations however

[ChrisMaster69]

@Still-alive had it since young.

These days it’s just living life and having fun, not letting things get you down overly,

[ChrisMaster69]

@Still-alive thanks most appreciated

[Jazquee]

I'd say definitely. 8 am very secure with WHO I am
I am awesome as a person...
But not so confident in my appearance.
I know I CAN look good. But I wouldn't call myself beautiful
It drives my boyfriend crazy. And I'm working on it. But still have insecurities about my looks/weight

[Still-alive]

which is just fine. it just makes you seem more real, more human or 'based' as the kids say these days lol

[btbc92]

Yes., because confidence has to do with action and development in your choices. Insecurities are a response to the expectation that may not have been fair and wrongfully placed on a person based on their environment, conditions, or relationships with other people, especially one of higher authority. You can be insecure with how well you do with tests, but you can confident in how well you play your video games. You can be confident in talking to your family and close friends. Not comfortable with strangers. There is always a root concerning somebody unless that is just naturally you.

[Aimée__LJ]

I feel like most confident people have the biggest insecurities. People think they're perfect but once you get to know a very confident person you'll probably find out that they're just as terrified as you 😂

[Still-alive]

haha well i feel less afraid then i used to but yes i can admit old age at least does sometimes still scare me. its a new thing for me and i am starting to be much more aware of how im treating my body. eating more properly and such. I still get scared yes lol.

[electromagnetic]

Every single day. Especially in the summer when the clothes come off. I’m very used to wearing long baggy oversized clothing that practically cover me head to toe. In the summer, kinda harder with the sun screaming for 16+ hours. But here I am. Strutting like I own the world. Internally, I’m a wreck.

[NathanDavis]

Of course you can, and have to... to be actually and really confident you must accept your insecurities and your flaws, you have to know your short-comings.

To reveal them? to show them? more than that, I'd say you need to be aware, and you also have to be truly about it, first with yourself... and also with others when it is necessary.

[menina]

No, I think that if you're confident you never show your insecurities, even if you have them.
And it's so easy to be confident when you're a white man. Those never have insecurities.

[Still-alive]

Lol well im a white guy and i sure got insecurities definitely

[menina]

Yeah but I'm serious.

[Still-alive]

So am i. Unless im not understanding what you mean by “those never have insecurities”

[menina]

I mean white men don't have insecurities. It's easy to be a white man and everybody loves you.

[Still-alive]

Ok well im a white man and i have insecurities.

[menina]

Maybe you are a rare case.

[SpiderManFan2002]

Meh, it really depends on who I’m talking to about what, and the kind of situation I’m in.

[Still-alive]

ok me? lol

[SavySav]

Yeah like I'm confident in my body but not confident enough to be posting nude pictures. So I'm confident up to a certain point.

[Still-alive]

I see your confidence in them definitely:)

[loves2learn]

Depends on the situation. I do think it’s possible to be confident in some areas and insecure in others.

[amiraahxbm]

All people are insecure to some degree about certain things. Even the ones we think are the most confident. So yes, owning every part of yourself, good and bad, and having the courage to be who you truly are is the true definition of confidence in my opinion

[purplepoppy]

It takes confidence to admit your weaknesses and failings. People who claim not to havr any aren't confident, they're delusional.

[lakotabebebe]

Showing insecurities confidently is one of the keys to seeming even more confident then you are!

[Still-alive]

So do you sens this in me would you say.. so far anyways? :P

[lakotabebebe]

Yeah!

[Still-alive]

Yess *does dance*

[TheSpaceGnome]

confidence in doing one thing doesn't mean confidence in doing everything, so yeah.

[Still-alive]

Ah true but might you also say that you can be overall confident but still insecure in certain areas?

[TheSpaceGnome]

I think confidence versus insecurity in general is something of an inaccurate mindset, I either know something or I don't, I can choose to learn it or not learn it, I don't feel insecure about my limitations or ignorance even when I acknowledge them, because they are either beyond my control, or adjustable.

people who judge themselves or others based only on what they currently are rather than what they could become are missing the bigger picture. life is an endless journey of self improvement, and the only negative character trait is the choice to stagnate.

[Alyssa11]

Yes everyone has insecurities.

[Still-alive]

Indeed :)

[exitseven]

Sometimes I feel like the world has left me behind. It makes me insecure.

[PaynefulPleasures]

We're only human there'll be good days and bad 🤗

[Still-alive]

indeed. just eve and flow of it all

[collie22]

yeah sometimes i feel vulnerable less confident at church

[OliviaOfTheScots]

Kinda like being secure in your insecurities

[Still-alive]

Nice one 👍🏻

[Still-alive]

so long olivia. you'll be missed :(

[Gwenhwyfar]

Sure

[Still-alive]

Do you sense this in me at all :) confidence?

[Gwenhwyfar]

Yes!

[Still-alive]

Yess then its working! Im confident and people get this from me too. It ls difficult at times to get these two to be congruent with one another.

Thanks Guinivere :)

[Gwenhwyfar]

Welcome 😊

[Ninjazzed]

This is mostly everyone.