Men; what are red flags to you?

[Anonymous]

What are some things that would prevent you from getting in a relationship with a woman?

[Kaneki05]

Not much other than Religious and Conservative. Any thing else is kinda subjective.

[warrenstone]

So not wanting to kill babies is supposed to be a red flag? Lmao

[Kaneki05]

Oh look a conservative who gets upset not everyone like's conservatives or wants to be with them. pathetic.

[warrenstone]

Oh look, a baby killer

[slatyb]

@warrenstone A fetus is not a baby. Anyway I haven’t heard any conservatives advocating for free medical care for children.

[KneeDragger]

@slatyb - A fetus is a stage, just like a baby is a stage. Specific traits like hair color, eyes, height as an adult; they NEVER change.

@Kaneki05 - You are missing out on people who can actually make you a better person. If it wasn't so ironic it wouldn't be sad.

[Kaneki05]

@KneeDragger oh yes make me a better person, like i asked for that or asked to be what you personally think is one. Tbh if you people were any good, you would just let someone not like you rather than get into a hissy fit. Isn't it Jesus who literally didn't fight back against people who disliked him enough to even death did you somehow miss a lesson there? Or when slapped, turn the other cheek?
Hypocritical messes you people are. Good day.

[slatyb]

@KneeDragger A stage? So what. Before 24 weeks there's no question that a fetus is not conscious. We protect conscious beings.

[Unit1]

Gold diggers.

[Grubhub]

Smart

[Unit1]

Wow. Thanks for the most helpful opinion

[Grubhub]

A gold digger thumbed you down

[Unit1]

@Grubhub
Yes. More women aren't gold diggers anyway, so it's all good.

[etexbearkat]

1. Not being honest
2. A history of being unfaithful to previous boyfriends/fiances/husbands (this is if you are talking dating/marriage)
3. Does not accept me for who I am
4. Judges me for my past
5. Leads me on into thinking she's either interested in being friends with me or dating, and she's not (have had this happen to me before)
6. This goes back to number 1 and 5, but isn't direct with me about where she thinks the relationship or potential relationship is going
7. If you are talking dating and marriage, someone who is not a Christian
8. If you are talking dating and marriage, someone is on the left of the political spectrum (I'm a conservative)
9. She can't control her own spending
10. If you are talking dating and marriage, she has mental health/neurological issues (I have ADHD and autism), and she doesn't have them under control. I have a female friend who has severe mental health problems, and it's not fun dealing with that.

The list could go on.

[etexbearkat]

Going back to number 10, while I love my friend Elizabeth, I could not date someone who has mental health issues and is not actively seeking out treatment if the issues are not under control (her mental health issues are not under control, but she's actively seeking treatment). If she has issues such as depression, an anxiety disorder, or bipolar disorder, and they are under control with medication, I would be fine with that, or if she's seeking treatment, I would be supportive. I have ADHD, and would not want a wife who has the condition who does not have it under control. Having the condition myself, I know how debilitating it can be.

[TheSpaceGnome]

1. her needing alone time
2. her not answering messages or messaging other guys more than me.
3. her being still friends with an ex
4. she has kids or wants them
5. she is racist
6. she is religious/spiritual
7. she lacks common sense
8. she is a prude
9. she is flirty with people other than me
10. she is uncomfortable having no secrets from me
11. she smokes, drinks alcohol, or otherwise uses drugs
12. she doesn't like difficult video games
13. she doesn't like cartoons/anime, sci-fi, and fantasy
14. she is anti science
15. she refuses an std test
16. she is lazy or a mooch/leech
17. she lets her emotions drive her logic rather than the other way around.
18. she has tattoos or peircings or those weird penciled on eyebrows.
19. she cheated on someone at any point in her life
20. she has a gore or blood fetish
21. her or her home is filthy on s regular basis
22. she talks like a stoned person
23. she likes sports
24. She has an infectious disease
25. she tries to act like my boss and control me by telling me what I can and can't do (aside from fidelity related stuff or in general just not being an ass)
26. poor hygeine, obesity, anorexia, or otherwise just not taking care of herself.
27. being critical of other's harmless personal preferences
28. double standards/hypocracy
29. dishonesty
30. a lack lf sexual interest in me
31. only sexual interest in me
32. being a follower
33. lacking an altruistic personality
34. No sene of humor
35. weird or nasty smells
36, wearing makeup, perfume, or other fake smelly crap on a date.

[beldath]

I agree with most of these.

[NoManTwo]

Ever consider becoming a monk/hermit?

You ain't never gonna get laid!!!

[GnatSocks]

Hahahaha! You have an anime body pillow, don't you? Say yes, nerd, because I know you do.

[Birdlegs]

I feel like you need to lower your standards a bit you’re 34😂

[TheSpaceGnome]

@GnatSocks Nope, no body pillow, but with how much of a retard you are I'm guessing you have one.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@NoManTwo Actually I don't have a difficult time getting female attention, most women I find atttractive think I'm cute af, so much so that I've never had to hit on anyone, they do it for me, so I can afford to be picky.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Birdlegs No logical reason to do that.

[HawkPerception]

I agree with most of these except for 1, 3, 12. The guys that are talking crap to you have no standards so don't worry about them.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@HawkPerception 12 is honestly the most important one to me. And I'm not worried about them, but I did block them either way, they don't deserve to reply to my responses.

[HawkPerception]

@TheSpaceGnome Good man!

[FilmGuy93]

General unwarranted suspicion early on (like asking if my wife/girlfriend just texted me on the first date), lack of confidence, pays too much attention to what her girlfriends think, debates me on trivial things, Inappropriate edginess, makes a lot of social media posts about what a catch she is, makes outdated pop culture references that are too mainstream to claim that she's being "ironic," demonstrates a blatant inability to tell jokes. I tend to see these behaviors in the same person and it absolutely never bodes well. That last one is tricky because it's not about telling one bad joke (we all make jokes that fall flat sometimes, it's all good), it's about establishing a pattern that proves that she clearly doesn't understand what's funny, when it's funny, and why. Like I understand that humor is a tricky thing, but I can't have a conversation with someone who genuinely believes that it would be funny to write "I'm a bird lawyer who will probably like your dog more than I like you," on a dating profile. I'm sure you're a sweetheart, but your pop culture references have been beaten to death, and your comment about liking my dog more than me is only funny if I know you well enough to know that you aren't on Bumble to cut the Humane League out of the adoption process.

[Anonymous]

I try to be open minded but in my experience it’s best to avoid the following:

1. Women are openly political and bring up politics on the first date.

2. Women who identify as feminist. Different story if she is just independent/successful withOUT having to use that term.

3. If she has kids. This is debatable because I once dated a widow. But more of then not I felt like I’m being treated as the “safety net” here.

4. If she is deep in debt for illegitimate reasons. Exceptions would be student loan debt because she is for sure going to become a doctor (with no risk of her changing her mind).

5. If she has ever been committed for psychiatric reasons.

6. If she has accused more than one man of sexual assault. If it was an isolated incident and she did the right thing and reported it to the police that’s one thing. But if she has done this numerous times that’s a huge red flag.

7. If she has no direction in her life and can’t support herself financially. Gold diggers in western countries are lazy selfish POS’s

8. STDs are debatable. If she’s got something serious that’s going to make life difficult more multiple reasons. However if she’s got HPV or Herpes but was honest from the start and is an otherwise very good person I might make an exception.

9. If she has a history of dating physically abusive and/or violent men. If it was just a one time short lived isolated incident in her youth that’s one thing. But I have met more than one women who secretly lust for this bullshit and I have no sympathy for them.

10. If she admits she had cheated more than once in the past. I do believe it’s posible for a one time cheater to feel extreme remorse, change and redeem themselves. But I’ve also met people who try to justify it. You are nothing but a piece of shit sociopath if that’s the case.

[cheapshotbob]

asking me if im married r have kids would be a red flag for me , i see why some women do it but in general i see no reason why they need too ask. and another red flag would be a girl who is nice and friendly then tells you that maybe next week you can go out because they have plans already and then one of there friends conveniently shows up to bail them out.

if girls can't be honest with me then why should i bother with a date with another girl who is acting like her? is there some kind of girl code that says they have t lie t get out f a date? why not be honest? is the truth that complicated for women.

and understand i have been single for 30 years and i dont met wmen for sex or some 3rd thing like the younger guys do i just like going out for a mvie maybe dinner or a coffee.

how is that a turn off for a girl if im paying for it all as a guy should?

[Steinkopf]

High body count
Always complaining - never acting
Only conservative when it benefits her
No father figure
Overly Critical/Aggressive
Begs for sympathy
Slutty outfit
Thinking she's a catch/I am lucky to be with her
Has cheated on someone
Doesn't like kids/animals
Too much going on with her body (too many tattoos, weird hair color, a piece of metal on every body part etc.)
Doesn't take care of herself
Mainly has male friends
Constantly hating on men
Only talks about her career and independence
Feminist/BLM supporter
Loves parties, clubs too much
No critical thinking

I could keep going.

[Asker]

If you want a low body count you’d have to go after a female who’s considered unattractive. It’s ironic because I’ve loved someone with so many red flags. Was a smoker, partied too much, womanizer, too big of an ego, insecure, disgusting attitude when angry, verbally and physically abusive, talked down on females, red pilled, picky, and he had soooo much high standards for someone who is flawed himself. But my feelings for him were genuine so I looked past his “red flags”. I see how men and women differ with each other. I also see that these lists varies depending on the man and his age. These traits that most of you have chosen are factors of a religious woman. Men have chosen the bad girls all throughout high school, all of a sudden saying they honor a woman of virtue.. and woman see what other men like. And have tried to live up to these standards only for them to find out they changed their mind. It’s so sad to see how much woman try to live up to these expectations that change over time when a man can give up on a woman over these red flags.. a woman can be brought up well by her parents but get influenced by society and surroundings.
Don’t be fooled when you see a woman with tattoos and piercings. It doesn’t always signal red. And what if she doesn’t have a father figure due to uncontrolled life circumstances like death? Drop these standards, I’m not saying to have your preferences but your chances of finding a woman who matches your 100+ list of standards will slim down your options. The perfect woman does not exist.

[Steinkopf]

The list doesn't consist of no-gos, just red flags. Although most of them are essential. I don't think only unattractive wome have low body count at least here in germany. Men love to have sex with bad girls relationships are a different story. Your reply feels like you have written it with anger. Most men here want the same as far as I can tell and women usually have higher standards than men.
I will date a women who has lost her father but don't judge for being more careful around them I don't want to put my mental health in danger.

[Asker]

Attractive woman often deal with the worst type of men leading them to make bad decisions. A lot of woman lie about their body count, and men who use woman for their body shouldn’t put a virtuous woman in their list of preferences, these type of men don’t even have respect for their own bodies or other women. Just cause a man sees a bad woman doesn’t mean to go and use her when there’s no intention of being with her.

[Steinkopf]

A women is responsible for her own actions. Most of the problems could be avoided by either having higher standards or just sleeping with guys for the first dates. If I lower my standards that would put me at risk.

[Asker]

There’s nothing wrong with having preferences, I have my preferences too. Then again, it all depends on my level of interest. If red flags interfere it just means I’m not that interested.

thanks for your intake, anyway! :)

[Dchrls78104]

Definite red flags for me are:
1. Smoking, use of drugs, and drunkenness.
2. Tattoos and body piercings.
3. Any abusive or disrespectful behaviour (including nagging) or the use of profanity.
4. Her not being a natural born and fully heterosexual adult female.
5. Thongs or the like.
6. Her being large or overweight.
7. Irreconcilable differences, like her being a feminist or racist or supporting abortion, or if she's not a Christian.
8. The keeping of secrets from me.
9. Her having a boyfriend or an ex she hasn't gotten over.
10. Her being high maintenance or a golddigger.

[HawkPerception]

What a sad day and age we're in that you even have to mention 4 in this, but it's true.

[NoManTwo]

Question:

What type of woman do you like?

Answer:

One who was born with a vagina.

[loveslongnails]

There are so many. LOL Let's start with:

* Narcissist - that has a lot of sub categories
* Unaffectionate and not into sex
* Rude and unkind, especially to people in the service industry
* Too conservative, Fox News lover which likely means she's a staunch Republican (implication: can't discern fact from fiction or think for herself)
* Judgmental
* Heavily tattooed, or tattooed prominently in all the wrong places
* Still hung up on an ex and emotionally unavailable
* Doesn't care about her appearance, weight, health, etc.
* Can't listen, talks all the time
* Religiously orthodox

There's more, but that's a start

[backontheblock22]

Do you really believe that openly conservative women are a problem? From my observations they are an extreme minority.

[loveslongnails]

@backontheblock22 I believe I said both "TOO conservative" and "staunch Republican". Too conservative is a matter of viewpoint. Staunch means they are so loyal, dedicated and faithful to a "party" that they'll BLINDLY support it no matter they do. No one should EVER do that, no matter what side you're on. I would have difficulty with a staunch defender of the Dems too, because they're not "all" right in the head either. I want a girl who's sharp enough to evaluate what's said and find the truth, wherever it comes from.

[backontheblock22]

Of all the dates I’ve gone in the last 10 years I’ve yet to come across a die hard conservative female. However I have seen a very large percentage of very vocal and loud liberal females.

But I agree that open political extremism is annoying. But I see it more on one side.

[KneeDragger]

A girl that can't be honest is my biggest red flag. One time I dated a girl and her friend had a boy-friend who visited from our of town. Said friend was cheating on her boyfriend and my girlfriend didn't want me to say anything to the original boyfriend. To this day that bugs me and that was twenty years ago.

[etexbearkat]

Back nearly ten years ago, I had a friend of mine lie to me about not being able to become pregnant. She was no less than two months pregnant at the time, no more than three. She had to have known she was pregnant. While I’ve forgiven her, I don’t trust her, and it will be hard for me to trust her again after that.

[Asker]

@etexbearkat Maybe she was trying to conceive at the time and didn’t think she was able to

[etexbearkat]

She was 17 years old (I was 20) at the time. There's no way she was trying to conceive, and plus she told me about the fact she couldn't get pregnant in August of 2011, and she had her oldest son on Valentine's Day the next year, so it was about six months after she told me, so if she went full term, she was no less than two months pregnant.

[etexbearkat]

Just to make it clear, she and I have no contact with one another today, and I never dated her.

[The_Maphio]

Keeping on bitching.
Placing yourselves as the main priority in a man's life.
Keeping on bitching.
Wanting a man to renounce their hobbies and habits because they are now paired with you.
Keeping on bitching.
Finding everything a man does in his spare time as childish, gross, or violent for any reason.
And most of all...
Keeping on bitching.

[exitseven]

I see a trend in all this.

[The_Maphio]

@exitseven Is that right?