Mostly religiousness - that's a gigantic red flag. History is full of stories about what religious people are capable of and not only in the Dark Ages but also nowadays - 2 years ago in fact:
These subhumans should be locked up and the key destroyed! They're a menace to society and on top of that bring nothing useful for the society. That's why I call them AND their priests "parasites". Also, being a Russian troll. That's what we call them here in my country. The Russian troll is usually, but not always, being paid by Russia to spread the Russian anti-human policy and laws which Chechnya keeps implementing for over a year. More on that here: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=chechnya+gay+purge More than half of the people in my country are Russian trolls and on top of that the most of them are religious which makes them even more dangerous.
@DermalPunch The line between these two is thin and they're not ashamed to cross it every time it suits them. In their sick minds "a murder is not a murder if it's in the name of our imaginary friend".
Although I put being religious on my list of red flags despite loving the Bible and knowing God exist, I do not agree with this outlook. Most people are not doing this.
If the girl has the quote "If you can't handle me at my worst, Then you don't deserve me at my best!"
Or if you spot A picture of Marylin Monroe anywhere... And I DO MEAN ANYWHERE! RUNNNNNN! Bonus points/achievement unlocked if she has a Marylin Monroe tattoo, she is guaranteed (well almost) to be a fantastic lay but then you of course take that classic risk of "Sticking your dick in crazy." So there's that to consider. Just keep an eye out, and if you wanna sleep with a Marylin girly girl. #1 wear a condom #2 document all communications i. e. keep text messages and record potential (all with her) crazy calls where she now says "Oh you don't want to be with me at my worst now that you've already been all up in my goodies, dipped your donut log in my milk? Now I'm going to accuse you of raping me!" #3 Subset rule of rule #1 Make sure to take condom with you, she can and potentially will impregnate herself or she could potentially have a cryogenic freezer chamber and hold your used condom at a later date when she accuses you of Rule #2 however it is especially important if you are a Famous person Tech guru, NFL Player, NBA Player, Prominent actor, or hell just a normal guy.
Very controlling and/or abusive. Speaks too much about his ex/exes and/or says all of his exes are "crazy." Has a poor person mentality. Way too religious and can't tolerate atheists or people who don't follow the same religious beliefs as him. Insults/trash talks pro-choice people or women who get abortions and/or promiscuous people. Not on good terms with his family or barely talks to them (Not always a bad thing, but depends on why he doesn't have a good relationship with his family. If his family is toxic or has hurt him terribly, then I understand him not speaking to them).
They wanna take me to "this place" me and them. Just me... and them.
Side story but when i was a too nice of a dumbass, this dude was vibing while I was there and he said he would take me on a trip an hour away to the medievial festival. Me and him in a van with other people. And then he said he'd invite me to his house where he can hang out with him and his friends.
I don't risk going anywhere I don't know because I'm cautious but it wasn't until after I quit that if I was dumb, he could have done bad things to me while we were "waiting on his friends". Cool guy, but jfc.
@Razp_Sorbet Great question! I will be bookmarking this page to take inventory of myself and to alter any red flag behaviors I may have.
RED FLAGS (4 me personally) 1) Closed Minded - (Huge one) 2) Bad Mental Attitude - (negative outlook on everything) (Huge one) 3) Over values traditional education and its relation to money 4) Too serious - (Huge one) 5) No clearly defined Goals - (maybe) 6) Sarcasm 7) Lacks the habit of Courtesy - (Huge one) 8) Not affectionate nor Romantic - (Huge one) 9) Severely lacks a pleasing personality - (Most lack it but not severely) (Huge One) 10) Overly Cultural (Maybe Huge One / even American culture) 11) #9 pretty much covers all other things I could say. In fact, 5 other numbers can be omitted because they are apart of a pleasing personality. Maybe 6 other numbers. The Golden Rule isn't Golden for no reason. 12. Preferably I would want them to not be religious but believe in God or at least open minded about it.
- #1 and #9 are the biggest RED FLAGS!!! to any relationship in my opinion.
@Razp_Sorbet This is such a great question! I can read all these comments and examine myself. This is exactly what I was looking for. This pure gold.
Only talks about themselves, they have no empathy/sympathy for anyone, they have no friends & have nothing good to say about any of their exes, they feel the need to harshly comment on peoples appearances/be judgmental, they make homophobic/transphobic comments, they have a misogynistic attitude, they have obvious serious trauma that they’ve never seeked out therapy for (will later bite me in the ass because they’ll take said trauma out on me), they don’t take care about their personal hygiene, they’re a gambler/very bad with money, they’re an alcoholic, they’re against tattoos and/or piercings.
Lots of stuff on my list but those are all the red flags (what I consider red flags) I’ve come across, mostly in men because I’ve dated more men than women.
Generally people that are controlling or try to make you change in a way they´d love you be without giving a reasonable explanation. Another redflag is inconsistency of word and deed. It´s a huge issue for me if a oersons makes big promises without actually doing anything of it. People that use other people for stuff or money are also a problem for me. Other redflag is anything that is barely legal when people do things they call adventures like train hoping or parcour on public buildings.
I don't exactly understand the question, are you referring to what I (guy) would consider "red flags" from other women/girls?
If that's what you're trying to say... well, I did have only ONE Red Flag, but then I recently figured that there was actually 2 (in total) that I'm sure of. Anything else are just question marks. (as I have 0 experience in dating. Closest was having a few "Girl Friends" (literally speaking))
Anyway, These 2 are what I'm sure that I'd consider Red Flags, by which I mean that they can have a significant (negative) impact on my "affection":
Control (over me) in ANY shape or form.
Expecting me to to be able to "predict" how one feels. As I'm the kind that prioritize logic & whatnot, and Therefore, I'd struggle to understand emotions. Not sure how to explain it, except that I may only be able to understand what's on the "surface".
Red flags: -Lies, that's by far the most common one because 'white lies' are very prevalent. People don't always want conflict and avoid it like this. I wouldn't want people who give me excuses in my life. -Inconsistency / flakiness, also very common. People all have their troubles, lives and priorities, but so do you.
I don't list 'cruelty to animals', 'talking down to service staff', 'aggression', 'mental instability' etc... etc... because those would make me get a creepy / negative vibe from the person and I wouldn't even be getting to know them to begin with.
1. Smoking, drinking, or the use of drugs. 2. Being controlling or abusive using profanity. 3. Not being a natural born and fully heterosexual adult female. 4. Wearing a thong or the like. 5. Tattoos and body piercings. 6. Keeping secrets or not being transparent. 7. Having an SO or not being completely over the ex. 8. Being aggressive, temperamental, or violent. 9. Being a racist or feminist or supporting abortion. 10. If I'm uncomfortable with her choice of friends.
A woman with a propensity for weight gain, you can tell the body type or you can observe how her eating habits are and look at her family.
A woman who is bad with finances/materialistic, fickle. It's OK if she likes nice things if she is equally interested in building wealth and not wasting.
A woman who has been programmed by her mother that she needs to "meter" affection out carefully. you have to be observant as this is not always obvious
@luminiferous men are visual, just like women strongly prefer a driven man with earning potential. you could consider it a red flag too, but you'd be ignoring reality
@luminiferous not for a relationship that is leading towards marriage, no. This increases divorce risk. before you jump into "offended mode". It's not that men will leave their wife for being fat neccessarily, but this decreases satisfaction with the marriage and if you are going through a rough patch this is just one more thing to help lead things downhill as your dissatisfaction leads to more dissatisfaction on her part and so on and so on.
@luminiferous thats normal and not what I'm talking about. Normal people including men gain weight with age, but I would be unhappy with a partner who greatly lets themselves go like many people do these days. I'm not perfect either but I'm not a fat lazy POS either
Letting themselves go, usually comes in hand with aging. And it's obvious you won't looks as good as in your 20s when you're older. Most of the older men who claim to be unsatisfied are not attractive either. But its similar as saying I'm not gonna date this guy because his father has a receding hairline or is bald. Too shallow for me.
Wow I can see both sides of your own stories and points of view but the jump on his side for a minute yes it's a preference it's what he likes it's just like how some people are in two fat women and Fatman chubby chasers and you have to understand and you have to understand that you can study may say that but they don't always act on it I saw a video once I guess just interviewing college girl that pool party and he sat does weight matter he was a little heavy set and they say no it shouldn't matter a guy can weigh 130 and it doesn't matter I was like shit then she won't date me if I weigh 180 hahaha but you know what I mean and I've also dated a girl who was a bit larger and she showed me old pictures of her and she was real skinny back then and I was like why did you let yourself go & she said I just stop caring so I definitely know what you're talkin about bro and people say one thing but do another no weight doesn't matter but watch a fat guy ask her out lets see if she says yes and weight doesn't matter lol but now jumping on her side for a sec of course to say you know I won't date this person because of their family how they look & their weight and blah blah blah. That doesn't mean that they're going to be that way but it has a higher chance
But yeah I couldn't think of any other points to jump on her side but yeah like you said it's just a preference just let girls have their preference I was once on a app like Omegle or Chatroulette or something like that it was called holla and basically I was on the section where you can turn on your camera and it'll go through like random girls all over the world and I got some black chicks on Mexican though so keep that in mind they took one look at me three of them and one of them said I don't know we ain't doing white boys in here so you know it was there racist preference even though their stupid ass couldn't tell the difference between a white guy & a Mexican cuz I'm not white and I don't look White if anything I look like more like a Chinese Mexican with my Asian looking eyes
-Laughing off or ignoring your boundaries or just things you want. -Narcissistic/selfish guys that think they're always right and never recognize their mistakes, but instead try to gaslight you -Not being honest about their intentions and making plans and empty promises they don't mean - Being sexist, misogynistic, prejudiced -Treating bad other people and animals
Red flags for women in my opinion sums up to high risk life... big partier, gets around, uses, drinks, out late alone or in such enviroments. Just high risk lifestyle is a major turn off due to drama and women that go on about drama. Also not having employment.
When she is very closed to communication. I’m convinced that the key to a successful, committed, trustworthy, and meaningful relationship is through open communication. Without being able to communicate with them openly about your feelings or emotions and agreeing to solutions for problems it really won’t be a successful relationship.
The first time she ever indicates that she doesn't trust me, (even though I have given her no reason to not trust me.) I will break up with her. Asking to go through my phone for example. She can go be insecure with some other dude. It could also very well mean that she's the one who's actually cheating.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
-unhygienic -yells at family members (I don't know how to explain it. I had this guy friend who yelled at his mom over the phone when she was just asking how he’s doing) -disrespectful towards others, especially elders -“gOd iF wOmEn JuSt gAvE gUyS LiKe Me A cHaNce” “if women just stopped ckkznzbdu” -can’t take care of themselves, wants to be babied. -becomes too attached way too fast -controlling my list goes on
Hi, great list you have here. First one that has made me really think. I'd really appreciate it if you could explain your reasoning behind #6. I'm trying to evaluate myself up against these comments so I can grow. Can you explain what becoming attached too fast looks like and why it is on your red flag list?
No sense of humor. Fat. Stupid. Unreliable. Bad with money (in debt). In a bad mood more often then in a good mood. Super religious. Tattoos. Drugs. Parties like a teenager still. Slut. Can't own up to her own toxic ways when I point them out. Says insecure comments about her body during sex and any sexual moments. Smokes. Takes too long to respond back to texts. She says she's "not ready" for a relationship. Indecisive.
Dates felons at one point Dated multiple domestic violent men Has a bad dating history Has more then one baby dad Stupidity Lacks common sense Is a SJW Does hardcore drugs Smoke ciggerettes Lies Takes sexuaul attention photos Has mental issues & does nothing to resolve them & thinks its normal to lash out.
For women, if she care more about what you have, what restaurant you are taking her too, what you drive, etc… that’s all red flags.. he could take her to a homeless shelter soup kitchen for all she knows and if she is still interested in him that’s the girl you want.
Feminist. And by feminist I don't mean the "I think society should be equaly available to anyone"-type but the kind of feminist that think we still live in a patriarchy where the main objective is to subdue and control women... In fact it's a red flag if she thinks society was ever based around that one principle.
* Social media obsession - major red flag. * No respect for privacy - major red flag. My passwords are mine, not yours * Sexist terms - if she says things like "mansplain" and "manspread" * Double standards * Violence - women who slap men across the face are not dateable
1. Woke feminist. 2. Contradicting literally everything that comes out of your mouth. 3. Never putting her cell phone down. 4. Snappy attitude that you've done nothing to provoke. 5. Materialism.
not keeping his promise. not calling me all day long. and shut down all communications. For example, if my message on WhatsApp is not sent, if he does not keep his promise to me, if he does not call me during the day and not asks me, this is a red flag. and I think such a person betrayed me and end the relationship!!
I call it the girls (or guys) self gratification quotient. If self gratifying is more important than me…red flag. You know…more important that she just gets what she wants. I’m always expected to sacrifice. It won’t be long before she wants someone other than me.
Controlling, suffocating, no personal boundaries, insecure, jealous, alcoholic, friends w/alcohol/drug abuse problems, his priorities are always first..
@Pixel343 I mean more about them letting an innocuous detail that theyblied about slip. If theyblie about little things they will loe about big things. They won't get to the stage of having to explain themselves and sound honest because I won't get that intimate with them.
People that join multi-level marketing. I learned my lesson my ex husband join Amway.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I don't like it when people (girls in my case) think the other person owes them anything. I don't think a woman or a man do favors for the other person by going out with them or doing things for them
Bragging about mental health issues Being a party girl Talks to people she slept with in the past No goals Self entitled.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Liberalism in all its aspects is a red flag for me. Liberal ideology is toxic, harmful and immoral. Atheism, feminism, support for LGBT or BLM, these are unacceptable things.
I've noticed that often people who usually preach "open minded," "acceptance," and "tolerance" are actually the most intolerant, the most toxic, and the most hateful to all those who disagree with them, so the whole liberal ideology is woven of hypocrisy and double standards.
@Razp_Sorbet Although I would list a closed mind #1 on my red flag list, we have to remember that these list are personal. A liberal person would not fit with this girl and so her red flag list is perfect for her. She observed herself and her dislikes then made a great list for her. That is one reason why your question is so great.
Women who... 1.) Constantly hook up with guys 2.) Have high body count 3.) Only wants to party 4.) Drinks or smokes 5.) Asks if you are going to be buying her things
@anastasianowak84 because it tells me that they are not the kind to want a long term relationship and tells me that they don't value a relationship for what it should be but rather see a relationship as something you get involved in just for sex. I also fear catching an std.
Girls that have blocked him Tries to get me to do crazy requests like finding girls on Tinder to fuck to show him Previous friends that tell me what he's done
If she talks about past relationships on our first date. Complete mistake. Don't start out again with failure, come with interests and where you see yourself going forward.
Arrogance (not to be confused with confidence), Really into astrology, self-righteousness, controlling, rudeness, overly materialistic, easily jealous, spiteful, fake. To list a few of the things.
I don't like rude, racist, bad hygienic, too much tattoos, closed minded girls. I prefer kind, open minded, loyal, funny, understanding girl who doesn't judge quickly
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Sending too many memes, very long texts, leaving me unread or seen without replying, liking provocative photos of other women especially if they look like sex workers.
Arrogance. I think everyone had flaws though. I have so many flaws. But I have a hard time developing relationships with arrogant people Maybe because I’m arrogant myself
@Djaay Lol you comment on this post just to call me out. You don't have to agree with what I'm saying but I have my own standards. I've got 3 people agreeing with me and no one has downvoted me (at least not yet). Good thing I'm not involved with you. You're way too old for me anyway.
@sirderpsalot123 Maybe that or it could be the part I said about abortion and promiscuity. I'm not sure. I think I am pretty reasonable. Also racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc. are red red flags. I think some of these things are obvious but I still chose to include them as red flags.
If I meet the dad and see how he lives and treats the people around him AND there are no indicators of abuse... then I'd make an assessment. Sure, there are families with dark secrets and admittedly those are difficult to navigate well. My bottom line in this regard, is she a spoiled rotten brat. Sometimes you seem contentious for no good reason.
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