Guy chose a girl who smokes weed and crack, poses nude, and is just crude over me... can a guy explain to me why?

[Anonymous]

So I wanted to have this fling with a guy because he’s moving away at the end of summer but we dated a little bit before and he told me he’s moving and can’t handle something serious as he doesn’t want commitment when he is 70% sure to move for his career. He may not move though, so he wanted to keep things open with me. We both are compatible and our sex was great. We had fun together and acknowledged this.

Now he’s hooking up with a girl who does crack and smokes weed, is just really tacky (badly colored rainbow hair, broken out from drug use, not that attractive but she has big boobs, yellow teeth, obnoxious personality like she’s always strung out)... and I’m just confused? Like I take care of myself a ton, am educated. He and I seemed like a good pair. I have a very nice body and I’m complimented for my looks often. I’m not trying to sound stuck up here but I am really confused why he’d choose to hook up with a girl like that instead of a summer fling with me? Do guys not have any standards for hookups?

Updates

+1 y

Sorry correction: it’s not crack, it’s actually meth

[Screenwriter]

Not a guy, but you explained perfectly, to my ears, why he's done this.

He is looking for hookups. I'm sure it's NICE that you're nice and educated, but he's not seeking a girlfriend or a deep conversation or NICE! He wants to RUT.

It sounds like the dirtier the woman, the more he's into it because he only cares about ONE THING.

If he doesn''t move, he's having sex FLINGS, PLURAL, because that's where BOTH his heads are at.

Do you think it's even SAFE being involved with him now that you know this?

[Asker]

No that’s why I broke it off. I said no way would I ever be involved in this and be another whore in his sheets. And he’s like well you’re more special... and trailed off.. like huh? I was so disgusted. But yeah you’re right. I’m trying to accept it

[Screenwriter]

Girl, I'm so sorry. That more "special" thing MIGHT have been true, but FOLLOW THE BEHAVIOR NOT THE WORDS!!! Man sluts say anything to keep their pussycats.
Take deep breaths, run around the block a lot, bike, swim, lift weights. Picture dropping weights on his skull cause he's so stupid!!! Kisses to you and great good luck!!!

[Asker]

Thank you so much 💞💗💞

[Jahizamy]

Because a hookup is just meeting ones sexual needs.

He's not dating the girl so he doesn't have to worry about her personal lapses.

There are very little things guys care about with a hookup partner, the sex, her attractiveness, the ease and that's it really. Girls consider other things like personality and compatibility, guys just don't think the way girls do.

[Asker]

But she’s gross, like really gross

[Jahizamy]

So? You don't understand how men work.

[Asker]

Yeah that’s why I’m asking this question.. I don’t understand how guys don’t have standards for sex.

[Jahizamy]

Because we don't have eggs, we don't have to think about the personality of the woman nearly as much because we don't have to give birth. A woman cares about that stuff, even with a hookup because that person she hooks up with will pass his genes down to her kid if she gets pregnant.

A guy can walk away and careless, he is mostly concerned about passing on his genes.

[Asker]

I’m not even talking about personality though. Like physically and health wise. The girl does meth. I’m so shocked still

[Jahizamy]

Ok, you have a comprehension problem, clearly.

[nachosaresexy]

Must just be the intrigue of this other chick unconventional lifestyle (to put it nicely)... sort of like the 'forbidden fruit' that is appealing to him.

I wouldn't be surprised if he tries coming back to you at some point, but I wouldn't blame you if it was too late at that point.

Do you know if he's into drugs at all, recreational or otherwise?

[Asker]

He doesn’t so drugs because of his work. I wish I could emphasize how gross she is. I never call girls gross but she is so gross. I’m so confused. I could see if she was super hot or cool bur she’s not

[nachosaresexy]

Weird. From what you described she doesn't sound attractive at all. Maybe it's a kink of his or like I said maybe there's just something different/mysterious about her that somehow attracted him. You might just have to move on and consider it a learning experience :/

I have a question on a totally different topic I'd like to get your opinion about. If you don't mind can I message you to try to explain?

[Asker]

It could be a kink. He always said I was mysterious. There isn’t anything mysterious about her.. she’s crude loud and open. But yeah I am really trying to move on from all of this because it just makes me feel gross and if he comes back i don’t think I could view him the same.

And yeah! I’d totally love to help. You can message me. Ill follow you

[elvitto]

Haha. Most guys would go with you. Definitely.
There must be something hidden about this guy that you may not know. She might be a god damm freak in the bed that fullfills his hidden crazy darkside or something. Maybe he is getting high too.

Most guys would definitely go with you. Unless you were being very harsh while describing this other woman.

[Asker]

I’m not being harsh, they’re just straight facts. He doesn’t do drugs. I guess there is something I don’t know about him not sure what that is though

[elvitto]

Anyway good girl. He may not be that much into you in the sense that he doesn't seem to want a long term relationship with you. His "odd" behaviour is saying otherwise. And let me tell you something, when it comes to purely physical pleasure, we guys have little standars. Standars are dictated by society, sex is dictated by nature, it's very simmilar to hunger. Don't expect us to have standars.
Reasonable guys would go with you, but he is apparently not being very reasonable. So i think that he is not thinking about any long term at all with you. He is apparently not very serious about you. Move on girl. You deserve better.

[StunningANDbrave]

This dude outright told he he's looking to just hook-up. Taking it personally because he's hooking up with you and another girl is irrational. It has nothing to do with you or how pretty you are. It's simply this dude wanting to fuck, that's it going into it through that lense he's going to screw whoever he thinks is sexually attractive "big tits" if they're willing.

[Jamie05rhs]

If you're such a great catch, why are you selling yourself so short? Why are you looking for "flings"? If you want people to respect you and value you as a person, start by respecting yourself first.

[Asker]

I agree. I don’t know.

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks for being willing to ear me out. I'm glad you recognize my point.
Please don't pursue that guy. If he accepts trash into his life, he's probably trash as well.

[Jamie05rhs]

hear, not ear. Sorry

[Asker]

Yeah I definitely hear where you’re coming from and I’m beating myself up for this and for what, I don’t know. I need to respect myself more and let this go. I struggle with letting things go, maybe it’s ego I’m not sure, of course I had real feelings for him too, but I need to let it go because his choice just really disgusts me entirely I don’t think I could ever look at him the same.

[Jamie05rhs]

You're right. He has proven his true colors. You need to permanently move him to your "Nope!" column.

[FilmGuy93]

Maybe he likes doing drugs too? It's always possible that he just doesn't think you're a very pleasant person to be around... People do weird shit sometimes... I've given up trying to understand anything.

[Asker]

He can’t do drugs

[Asker]

But yeah I’m gonna just stop trying to understand this one too

[ChrisMaster69]

It was looking good until you got to the big boobs part, could not date someone with big boobs.

the rest sounds like good laugh

but nah big boobs

[Asker]

I didn’t mean that in a bad way

[exitseven]

It is a phase he is going through. He knows he is leaving soon and he figures to date somebody really sleazy before he leaves town.

[The_Maphio]

Dumbass.
Considering the list on rather unpleasant activities she likes to partake in, he'll regret his decision soon enough.
With this I'm not saying he'll come to you on his knees, mind you.

[JSmuve]

Maybe he wants more than just you and that was the only thing available to him. Maybe he likes the crack whore better than you.
Maybe she fucks better or has a better personality.
Who knows. Ask him, not us.

[Asker]

I’m not on talking terms with him currently. I’m trying to understand how men think

[Asker]

Their personalities are so different and he and I had great sex, I don’t think that’s it

[JSmuve]

Maybe he thought it wasn't so great and could've been better.

[Asker]

He literally told me it was the best and he said I couldn’t do any better when I asked for feedback

[JSmuve]

He was likely lying to spare your feelings. Kinda like how girls lie to guys so they don't feel bad.

[Asker]

No I really am good, I was there I’m not delusional

[JSmuve]

Then you wouldn't have been left for a crack whore

[Asker]

Ok bu even if that was the case, why choose a crack whore?

[Screenwriter]

He just doesn't care about anything but the sex. Listen to these guys. It's not rocket surgery or brain science. He's a jerk looking for sex only.
“ neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.”
This boy is a sex swine, and he will emotionally "rend" you by using you, or perhaps leaving you with an STD from the crack ho. There's nothing to learn from him except to stay away.

[Asker]

@Screenwriter I couldn’t agree more. Thank you for your words 💕💛

[Anonymous]

Maybe she lets him give her anal lol

[Asker]

Oh maybe

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah some guys will stay with a girl if they’re freaky enough. Let them do things most women wouldn’t allow.

[Asker]

I literally would allow him to do anything though. He even said our sex was so great we could make a porno. Sex is something I’m so open about this is why I am so confused

[Smashingdoozy]

She sounds like a lot of fun

[legalboxers]

not me.. I never done that

[bamesjond0069]

Maybe he smokes meth too and then its a perfect match up?

[Asker]

No he can’t do drugs because of work and he would never in general

[bamesjond0069]

Maybe you annoy him?

[Asker]

Maybe you annoy me?

[bamesjond0069]

Now i can see why he chose a meth addict over you. Its the personality.

[tacobell420]

He's a dumbass?

[Asker]

Lol thanks

[tacobell420]

No problem

[normalice]

Probably blow jobs.

[Asker]

But I gave him really good blow jobs, I don’t get it

[Screenwriter]

Wanted MORE blowjobs. Your jaw can only do so much. He's greedy. Cake and eat it too!

[normalice]

Crack heads are famous for their enthusiasm for sucking dick, though. Or could also be butt sex? Whatever his kinks are chances are good he was shy about asking you for them because he wanted you to want them as much as he wanted them.