Girls, would you swipe right on this bio?

[Anonymous]

Question is self explanatory. I have asked a different version of this but I did not write out the whole thing, so I have a more advanced revision here.

I love cooking, movie nights, road trips, and trying new restaurants, looking for someone to share in the fun! Looking for someone intellectual that can hold a good conversation and enjoys learning and exploring. If that sounds like you, swipe right already!
(Curves and glasses also a plus!)

[AmandaYVR]

Sounds good to me.
Might be a tad vague, but I understand that if you write too many specifics, it may alienate some who don't like those exact things.
So I don't see any problem with this (as long as this is the short version, and not the entire description of you.)

[Asker]

I mean, how much bio do girls actually read?

[AmandaYVR]

A lot. (I would say all of it, but that is only if he makes it past all the other levels. Anyone can stop reading at anytime.)

Here's the key you need to know: On cell phones, site designers can collect oodles of data about their user's habits. And so they know exactly how long each user spends reading any particular bit of content. (How? By how long that part of the page stays static.)

I've also read that there are studies which record eye movement, and women spend WAY more time reading text on dating profiles than men do. Men go - picture: yay/nay - and then basically move on.
Pinks spend more time (Tinder is the exception here though) and do read written content.
Although, to be fair, I have just last week been told that lots of dating apps are going the way of Tinder, following their absolutely stupid, inane, lead, and showing merely one profile pic on screen, and that's it. They followed suit, not because it's better, but because they found out just how ravenously addicted people were to judging potential mates.

But aside from this (and the fact that girls are getting just as shallow and hookup-crazed as men often are)... yes, your words matter.

[Asker]

I feel like you pretty much summed it up at the end there, women my age are not interested in relationships anymore and they only want to hookup with the most attractive 20% of men. Not sure it is worth bothering with at this point.

[AmandaYVR]

You guys need to get over this 80/20 thing. It's not actually true. It's been misinterpreted. (Mytake to be written on this one day.)

Anyway, the main thing about girls is that they don't choose guys on looks alone. They really don't. (On Tinder, yes, mostly, but not the ones who want actual committed relationships.)

But you are working against two very vital sea changes now - the lack of necessity, and the 'paradox of choice.'
Girls are more independent than ever before. If they are making their own money and self-sufficient, or if they are still living under their parents' roof and being taken care of in every way, they really don't need a man. And then you add to that how generally selective girls are, and you've got a recipe for... well, nothing. No meal is being made. They're just cashing out and saying, "nah."
'The paradox of choice' is a byproduct of the internet and these horrific dating apps. It makes it appear like there is an abundance of choice. And as long as people have options, they won't commit. Another massive problem.

You're not the only guy in this predicament.
Solution: maybe to get off the internet and figure out how to be a really, really good conversationalist and communicator in person. Or tell friends and family, "I'm looking. You know anyone, lmk."
Go to go back to grass roots here.

[Asker]

I would love to see a decent proof on the 80/20 thing, my experience and data has shown it to be correct.
But honestly I feel like you just made the case that it is hopeless. Women no longer need men, they can do everything themselves, so I guess I have nothing to offer.
I know I am not the only one in this position, but I fail to see how that helps me.
I have no family where I live, and the only people I know are professional relationships. But even then, that does not seem to fix anything since any girls they would know are on the apps anyway chasing that 20%.

[AmandaYVR]

Sorry, maybe that was careless of me.

How about this? Here are a series of qs I asked about what people want relationship-wise. Girls do still want them.

If you are/were looking, would you prefer an actual relationship, or a casual hookup? ↗

"I would like to find..." relationship poll? ↗

What level of commitment are you seeking in a relationship? ↗

Guys (single men): what do you want: a relationship, hookups, or nothing right now? ↗

Girls, Single ladies: why are you not in a relationship? ↗

Are you in a purely sexual relationship that you would like to be more? ↗

When dating, who's more likely to get spooked - you or the other people? ↗

[AmandaYVR]

Why do relationships seem harder than they used to be? ↗

What do you see as the biggest obstacle for dating/relationships today? ↗

Is romance dead? Do you want it to be? Is time for a resurrection? Or was it all too cliché in its last incarnation and it needs a major revamping? ↗

Which is more common - Guys pretend they want a relationship to get sex, or Girls play hard to get to prove the guy's interest is more than just sex? ↗

[Anonymous]

Sounds good to me! Sounds like you're a fun and genuine guy to be around. Just as long as you don't say something like I'm such a "nice" guy or say how great you are because people who say they're nice aren't really.

[Asker]

Well thanks, that is the first positive reaction I have had to one of these test write ups.

[Anonymous]

Maybe but only because I have curves and glasses. Be wittier.

[Asker]

Hmm fair enough, but that is still good feedback! I am definitely trying to draw curves and glasses so good to know that part works.