Girls, be honest. Is there any of you who AREN'T attracted to the same four things in men?

[MCheetah]

- Height/tallness (usually 6'0"/183 cm minimum)
- A ton of ego ("confidence," "swagger," high self-pride)
- Social status and/or money
- Obedience (to an extent)

And yes, compatibility is a thing too, but that's a given. No bullsh*t "it's a preference" cop-out, non-answers, please. I'm asking, are there ANY of you NOT attracted to these things in men? At least one of them, but all of them, even.

Are there any of you exclusively attracted to short men (less than six feet), humility or a lack of high pride, a working-class or low-paying income, a lack of popularity or importance in society, or someone who treats you the same as their coworkers or friends?

Obviously, straight women only, please. Others can reply to comments, but I'm only looking to hear from non-queer, biological women (no lesbians and trans people). Your criteria for someone is completely different.

Hopefully, I get some interesting, eye-opening answers. But if not, it's not surprising. Thank you.

Updates

+1 y

"A ton of ego" is what women will refer to as "confidence." A man with a lot of self-pride and a very high opinion of himself.

Most people on Earth (men and women) do not have this nor think they are perfect at everything and love every aspect of who they are, and it's probably even rarer to find it in modern men for a number of reasons.

Updates

+1 y

Height is important: 5
Height is not important: 3

Ego is important: 5
Ego is not important: 4

Social status or money is important: 3
Social status or money is not important: 4

Obedience is important: 3
Obedience is not important: 4

[Bookluvr25]

Honestly i dont like the ego/swagger. Money and height doesn't matter. I am a little over 6ft and if he's short thats fine ill be tall for both of us. Money isn't an issue i make my own dont need his as for obedience... no i prefer my men to have there own opinions. I like Kind men who are smart, men who have respect for me as a person and for the boundries i set. A hard working man is hella attractive too. I don't know what he does if he does his best and works hard its hot af.

[MCheetah]

Interesting. I didn't think women like you still existed. Nor was I expecting to hear "height, money, and confidence doesn't matter." Thank you.

[Bookluvr25]

There are a lot more of us then you think.

[Hurlyburly]

Height/tallness: as long as a guy isn't visibly shorter than myself it's fine for me 🤷‍♀️
- A ton of ego: this one is more of a turn off to be honest. I prefer a humble man over one who thinks he's the greatest any day.
- Social status and/or money: I do not really care about that
- Obedience (to an extent): umm... No. I want a man to see me as an equal. Neither above nor below him.

Compatibility is king by the way. And also the hardest to find.

[MCheetah]

Height/tallness.
So would you date a short guy or not? Cause it sounds like no. (If I remember what you said before on another post, the answer was absolutely not and you also stated you're 5'11" yourself.)

Ego:
So does that mean you would be fine with a man who wasn't "confident"? (Because that's what that means.) You'd be okay with a guy who didn't have a high opinion of himself or prideful?

Obedience:
This is what that means. You'd want him to do everything you want (a common trait for most women). If he often said no to you or didn't give in to your every wish, you would be fine with that?

[Hurlyburly]

I'm 5'10 myself.
Yes, this what it means.
Ofc I would be fine with that. I want a partner not a slave Oo

[MrBadd]

Height isn't that big of a problem. Most girls will just want to date a man who is taller than them. Obviously if you're 5'5" you're at a disadvantage in comparison to a guy who is 6'5", because fewer women are shorter than you, but there will still be enough within that category who like you if you have other attractive qualities. Some women will also overlook (no pun intended) your lack of height if you have those other qualities.

Confidence is important. Despite the replies here telling you otherwise, when it comes to confidence it's better to be over-confident than under-confident, as long as you're not socially retarded. Although there's a difference between a guy who is cocky for no reason at all, takes himself seriously and acts like a prick, and a guy who is playfully cocky in a tongue in cheek way. I suppose second to confidence comes self-awareness or social intelligence.

Social status and money is perhaps the biggest thing guys wrongly obsess about. It doesn't hurt to have money and status, and you should always be working to better your position, but that's not really what attracts women. There are rich dudes who attract gold-diggers solely for the money and they get rinsed. There are broke dudes who have women eating from the palms of their hands. Most women are attracted based on other things. If a woman is dating you only because of your money and status what she's really doing is sacrificing her body because she wants your money, it's not because she genuinely likes you.

Obedience is perhaps the most inaccurate of all of the things you mentioned here. Most women do not respect or feel attracted to obedient men at all. The ones who do end up going for those guys are either in the tiny minority who like that, or they're women looking for a guy who is easy to manipulate for some other reason. They're more likely to be attracted to a guy with leadership qualities, a guy with a back-bone, but who isn't overly controlling or domineering.

[FreyaRed]

"Height/tallness " I want to look up not down and I'm over 185 cm in stillettos
"A ton of ego" often it's just pseudo confidence and arrogance with opposite social impact.
"Social status and/or money" result of healthy ego and money is mostly inherited in my age range.
"Obedience " someone has to be obedient and it's not me. lol

[MCheetah]

I respect you for being honest and not bullsh*tting and doing vocabulary gymnastics like so many other women do.

[JosyJosy]

Height... I'm not like more attracted to a taller guy than I would be to someone who's the same height as me or a bit shorter.
Ego wise, confidence is fine, but I don't want him to think he's better than others, if he just believes in himself and has self love I'm okay with it. Social Status not so much, Money... enough to live a stable life? Something we should all strive for.
Obedience, no, more like teamwork and good communication

[MCheetah]

- Height/tallness: You'd be willing to date short men. ✔
- Ego: You want that in a man. ❌
- Money: You want that in a man. ❌
- Obedience: You'd settle for good communication over obedience. ✔

Two out of four you require and the other two you don't need. Interesting. Thank you.

[JosyJosy]

No, not required. It is preferred. If you don't have a job or something, but are trying your best to get one, that's fine too. As long as we all strive for self improvement.
The self confidence? If you're insecure I don't know about feeling unattractive or something but we're dating, then obviously you aren't cause I found you attractive. If you believe in yourself after dating, then no problem. If no matter how many times I as your partner, have to reassure you and that insecurity doesn't go away, it's going to be a turn off.
It's like that person in the How-do-I-Look asking the same thing over and over again like the opinion doesn't matter. It's preferred that you're confident, if not, I'd like to see that self improvement, on your own, together, doesn't matter but I want my partner to improve

[flamiE]

- Height/tallness (usually 6'0"/183 cm minimum) - men really be putting too much value on height. Most women are cool with men their height and taller. Including me.
- A ton of ego ("confidence," "swagger," high self-pride) - not a ton. I don’t like arrogant men. He can’t be insecure though.
- Social status and/or money - No. A man with potential? Yes.
- Obedience (to an extent) - Again, nope. That’s crazy. If anything I’d want it the other way round. But I definitely would respect a man who speaks up a lot more. One who calls me out and doesn’t follow my lead just to keep me happy.


If I had to pick 4 things I’m attracted to in a man it would be intelligence, thoughtfulness, maturity and family-oriented or has a sense of unity, like he thinks about how his decisions would impact his partner or his family if he has one. A man like that has a wayyyyy better chance than a tall, arrogant, rich “yes” man.

[MCheetah]

But the question is asking about height and other things. So if you (and other women) wouldn't date a "short" man, however you define that (most Western women define it as under six feet), then you wouldn't date short men and the first one would apply to you.

If he "can't be insecure" then it means you want a guy with super high "confidence." Ego and confidence are identical.

So from what I understand, the first two are required from you (regardless of semantics and vocabulary) and the last two aren't.

[flamiE]

And I answered it I just added what I’m attracted to to make my point.

But no. I’m not “most Western women”. It’s not “however you define it” as the whole 6ft thing is ridiculous. That’s like crazy tall. I’m 5’5 and I’ve never had a problem with a man’s height. Ideally he’ll be at least my height but if I really like him I wouldn’t turn him down because of his height. So no it’s far from “required”.

There’s a huuuuuge gap between a man who’s not insecure man and a man with ego. I want someone who believes in himself and his abilities. Doesn’t have body image issues. That’s about it. If that sounds like super high confidence I don’t know where you come from.

[2018life]

Probably not if he was overconfident; I've met people like that at work/ school and they've just tried to hit on me
while "teaching" me how to do everything I already know

in sixth grade there was this guy who would always correct our group's math and say things like "no, sorry, (name), (name) is actually right" or "(name, you did this one wrong" like a fricking teacher ugh i still remember it cuz he was so annoying lol

but anyway yeah i hate the big ego, regular confidence is fine with me, height doesn't matter, and as long as he isn't too distant i don't mind :)

[MCheetah]

Ego and confidence is the exact same thing. Some women just don't like the specific word "ego." As explained in the update. So the question is asking if women like men who DON'T have (as you put it) confidence. Among other things.

[2018life]

your confidence could be your faith in yourself your ego could be what you think of yourself, I can understand how they can be similar but personally I find them different (met both types) and I would say if they have too much self confidence then no but if it's a good balance of self consciousness and self confidence then I would be fine with it

[MCheetah]

I don't understand. I have faith in my ability to do my job and succeed at it. But I don't have faith in my ability, to say, impress modern women (given my shortness and looks and all), or achieve anything and everything I want. I think I am a mixed bag of good and bad. When women say they want "confident" men, they are referring to men who think they're hot sh*t and excel in all cateogires and can never fail at anything. Something I personally detest in others, which is why I can't stand ego in any human being. But if it's someone who tries their best and puts forth their best effort, I think that is good enough to call that person admirable, but to most women, it would not be sufficient enough to deem attractive.

[devilish-cutie]

No to egoistic one. But when you think it all these things men find attractive in women just replace height w boobs/butt. Money may not be as relevant to men but social status would matter still

[MCheetah]

Men do not care about women's height, importance in society, income, or level of self-pride. Only one men would also ask for is obedience (but women are more likely to demand it; most men who aren't abusive won't). All men really want in women is:

1. Don't be a bitch/feminist.
2. Always treat him with respect.
3. Look nice.
4. Be good to him, physically and emotionally.

Not much to ask for, in my opinion, but hard to find.

[devilish-cutie]

Not a lot to ask? Just looking good is full time job. We also have to give birth. Whatever men do can't outdo that.
Plenty of women dont care about mans money or status as an must have trait but only something they may be attracted to
And that is for a reason cause women want men that are competent. Its not about money or status but competence n thst is cause we desire security. You have so many prejudices. We all need eachother for diferent reasons n damands for women are nothing easier than ones for men.
As of me personally i approach men, i eqrn a lot and dont care how much he does as long as he is doing somethig w his life. I care more about looks of a man n his emotional maturity.

[MCheetah]

Money does not equate to competence or else, we'd all be worshipping men like Donald Trump (not that I hate him or anything) and every celebrity and overpaid athlete. I personally feel that most people who are rich outside of the tech industry aren't the least bit intelligent and are just as dumb as the everyday 9-to-5 Homer Simpson out there.

And it's Current Year; why do women still need to rely on men for money? The emotional security is one thing, but again, money isn't a direct link to that. I can respect the "s he is doing something with his life" but I rarely see that reflected in real women. It's usually something basic like "rich = winner, not rich = loser." Like TLC said 20-something years ago. "I don't want no scrubs."

[devilish-cutie]

Money isn't ALWAYS indicator of competence but often it is. Sure people can be born rich. And there are many criteria one considers, not only one, to get a feel about the person. Do you see terrible poor men in relationships? Yes, so obviosly women aren't that picky. We fall in love just the same. Why is money important? Cause of safety. Cause women give birth and get pregnant and knowing if you are in such vulnerable state you can relay on your partner to take care of you. Just in case, even if it isn't needed. But money isn't so relevant to women as men may think, if i really like a guy n he is really good to me but is struggling w his career etc. that isn't a dealbreaker. Its just important that he is trying to do something w his life. As i said competence is most important cause if we had struggles financially hed be able to find a way for us to be. That doesn't mean he has to be rich.

[pleasestopthis]

I don't like men with a lot of ego, it turns me off. Just the right amount is fine, a lot of it is terrible

[blondfrog]

Yet the average woman tend to have big egos themselves. The cruel irony.

[MCheetah]

@pleasestopthis
So you are fine with men who aren't "confident"? (That is what that means.)

[pleasestopthis]

@MCheetah Yeah but just a bit, I don't like too much of it when it looks like arrogance

[lanadelrey25]

I don't like a ton of ego

[Pallavi37]

First look I go with height and physic

[Voulezvous]

All of it except the ego thing.