Girlfriend became chubby since the lockdowns, is it vain if I don' find her attractive anymore?

[Anonymous]

Before

After

I'm still definitely the heavier one out of the two of us, but I just don't find her now chubby body attractive anymore, is it hypocritical/vain?

Yes it is.

No, it isn't.

[Truthatanycost]

It does not matter whether it's hypocritical, vain, or anything else. That won't change that you no longer find her attractive. However, the best way to deal with this is to simply get yourself in shape, while she joins you. I train with an isokinator, there is no easier way, but the workout itself is damn tough.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice, tho I'm fine with my body and she likes my body type so there's no need for me to lose weight.

And I've talked about this with her (tho not too directly/bluntly) and she just keeps saying stuff like "don't worry about it".

[Ironic_Method]

Hypocritical? Maybe, depends on things we don't know. Vain? Absolutely. Talk with your partner and see if you two can both get into shape in my opinion. I'm always in the "try and find a solution" boat.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice, tho I'm fine with my body and she likes my body type so there's no need for me to lose weight.

And I've talked about this with her (tho not too directly/bluntly) and she just keeps saying stuff like "don't worry about it".

[Ironic_Method]

Fair enough. Guess that doesn't make you a hypocrite if she's okay with you, but I'd mention that you're starting to lose attraction and want to help her get back in shape.

[LorraineGates]

You should exercise together. Do difficult things together to bond. Sexual attraction is important for a lasting relationship.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice, tho my body is fine as it is, I don't need to lose weight.

[Anonymous]

NO. It's just a preference. Nothing hypocritical. Dump her and go find a skinny girl

[Anonymous]

As long as appearance is not the only important thing in a relationship, I don't think it's vain to loose attraction if your partner gains weight, if a partner that was fit when you met her is what you were intially attracted to. So weight gain is sort of straying from the deal when you entered the relationship.

And I don't buy into the "same league" thinking. Two persons in a relationship are entitled to being attracted to different things, so for example, I don't think a person who's in a relationship with a fit partner has to reciprocate by working out and dieting herself just to be in the same "league". It's ok to like different things and sometimes partners with a different body type/fitness leves find each other. My relationship is the same, I'm into fitness working out basically every day and my partner is not, being on the plus size side in terms of body type. But each of us love that about each other; She loves a "classical" fit guy with muscles and abs, and I love a woman having some extra weight. I know a lot of people would probably call her vain and a hypocrite because she's not into the gym herself but I think that's crap. What's important is that we are attracted to each other.

[jaybee281]

It is hypocritical - you really had me in the 1st half - If you're fat you also need to lose weight otherwise you'll just hear "you're fatter than I am what kind of dumb rhetoric is it that you find your own body type unattractive?" - Try dealing with that😂😂

[Asker]

I am heavier yes, but we started our relationship like this, I didn't let myself go and gained weight after we got together.

[user1245322]

let me ask since she likes your weight, do you know? if you lost weight would she be upset or not like it? just curious, that would change my thought on just you being shallow then its both of you, try talking to her and seeing where the convo goes would be your best bet.

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

If you're heavier than her and have issues with her weight gain, then yes that's a bit hypocrital of you. If it bothers you that much then let her know.

[Asker]

Yeah I agree that it could kinda be a bit hypocritical, but on the other hand there's a difference between our situations. While's I'm heavier, I've maintained my weight for years, while she let herself really go since the lockdowns.

And I've talked about this with her (tho not too directly/bluntly) and she just keeps saying stuff like "don't worry about it".

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

The pandemic was hell on a lot of people. She's definitely not alone in gaining weight over this time period.

[Asker]

True, but that doesn't really excuse her letting herself go this badly.

[Mangospacho]

It’s not wrong to find someone unattractive just because they look different over time. If you don’t like the way someone looks 1-2 years after you met them, then you probably shouldn’t be with them long-term because it won’t get any better.

[RationalMale]

Sexual attraction is quite literally a physical thing. "Damn I want to bang that personality" is not.

Anyone who says you should force yourself to be attracted to fat people is a liar and too lazy to improve themselves.

[genericname85]

i don't think it is. she got quite fat. however i'm assuming you still love her. so it shouldn't be off limits to discuss that and help her with weight loss.

[K-I-S-S]

Yes, in that sense that you are too. As you say.

Start working out, both of you. Have fun with it. And do other fun stuff...

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice, tho I'm fine with my body and she likes my body type so there's no need for me to lose weight.

[K-I-S-S]

Maybe no need, although most people enjoy fit more.

Getting fit is difficult. Doing it together makes it easier and more fun. A project the 2 of you share.

[Asker]

I'm perfectly fine with my body, thank you very much.

[pleasestopthis]

If you are fat yourself you got to be shameless if you dump her because of that

[Asker]

I am heavier yes, but we started our relationship like this, I didn't let myself go and gained weight after we got together.

[Anonymous]

it sounds hypocritical but it is not unheard of. Men and women want different things from each other. Your weight might not mean much at all to her but maybe your salary or house or hair does.

[Asker]

um... we're the same gender

[Opinion Owner]

Wow, How did I miss that?

[Anonymous]

Not everyone is a chubby chaser... You just need to be honest because she will find out if you are full of shit...

[TheFlak38]

thousands if not millions of women hit the wall earlier than anticipated thanks to Covid. For me it's hilarious.

[Asker]

That's not very nice of you...

[Anonymous]

at least her tits got bigger and she'd be a chubby fuck

[Twalli]

It isn't vain it's shallow

[Anonymous]

What was she eating and does she fart more often now?

[Asker]

Dafuck is that question?

[Opinion Owner]

Does she have more gas now? Is that another reason why?

[Asker]

Please keep your weird fetish stuff to yourself.

[Browneye57]

WTF over.

[Meowish]

a little bit

[COMMODOREII]

That can't be her

[anylolone]

If you are fatter, yes.

[Asker]

I am heavier yes, but we started our relationship like this, I didn't let myself go and gained weight after we got together.

[anylolone]

And?

[hhhffg7889]

Send her my way