Am I evil for no longer finding my girlfriend attractive?

[Anonymous]

We split up for months, and in the meantime, I got in better shape. And met a lot of attractive women and slept with them. And now I don’t think my girlfriend is as attractive as I once thought. She’s showing her age (she’s in her 40s, and I’m in my mid 20s). I feel bad, but I still have feelings for her. And she was the one to take me back after months of no contact.

[Anonymous]

We'd have to know the dynamics to make this judgement. If it was solely her diminishing physical attractiveness then I'd say that's a poor reason to not find someone attractive anymore. But the reality is we're all multidimensional people. She might have had a tolerable personality all along that you were willing to tolerate because of her physical attractiveness. In which case she f***ed around and found out. But it also would prove that you don't pick very good partners. Either way I wouldn't worry about it. If she's a good woman another guy will find her and she'll find happiness. Almost undoubtedly better happiness than she had with you. And if she's not a good woman well then life just got real for her. Now she's going to learn what her real value is with men post 40.

[Anonymous]

No not at all. Why dont you tell her how you feel?

[Asker]

Because she’s very insecure about her looks. She has a lot of followers online, and she relies heavily on her looks, so if I say anything, it’ll be heartbreaking

[Opinion Owner]

Then break up with her but say you wanna be friends

[Asker]

I still have feelings for her. But I don’t know? I think what my friends are saying is getting under my skin about her being old, and how my boss’s wife is the same age as her. So it’ll be awkward to take her to my work. And I don’t even want to think about what my family will say… My older sister has warned me several times about being groomed throughout my whole life. And she’ll lose her shit if she finds out who my girlfriend is.

[Asker]

I try not to let those comments get to me, but I still have those feelings

[Opinion Owner]

I understand so your family dont know about her?

[Asker]

No. Since we aren’t living together

[Opinion Owner]

Do you meet her often?

[Asker]

Yeah, but work takes half of my life, so I have to balance it.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh thats a lot. Why dont you ask her to go with the gym with you?

[Anonymous]

Only if you don't tell her.