Is it a red flag that the guy I’m talking to (23 y. o.) is still a virgin?

[Poppymarie]

Soooo the guy I’m talking to says he hasn’t ever really been in a relationship and he’s still a virgin but he’s like 23. I don’t mind the lack of experience, but I’m just wondering if there’s some reason that he’s never had a girlfriend. When I asked him why he hadn’t had one before he said it was because he was more interested in doing well in school and finding a stable job first, which I definitely think is honorable, but it’s still a little surprising. What do you guys think? Red flag or nah?

[EmbraceThePain]

I mean, it can be, but it doesn't have to be. No matter the age, I would say it's natural to feel as if it is a red flag, but reasonably there is no concrete evidence that it should be a red flag. Sometimes, men or women just aren't that motivated to lose their virginity at a certain age, so they leave it be until the time is right for them. These types go on through their lives just fine and by the time they know it they're a lot older and still a virgin. Some do not care about this while others do. I would say, 9/10 the only reason people care about this status is that society pressures people to act in a certain way to conform whatever standard that society has set. Of course, this is different everywhere and it's hard to figure out what is right or what is wrong. Perhaps it's neither right or wrong. It's just whatever.
So, maybe your boyfriend is just a home person, which means he doesn't really like large crowds or going out a lot. If you stay at home a lot, you cannot meet too many people and if your goal is to sleep with a lot of women, then you are doing the exact antithesis of what you should be doing.
No matter how handsome you are, smart, moral, honorable, etc.
If you stay home a lot, then you won't meet/sleep with a lot of women, as a man.
Also, if you're not motivated to sleep with or have sex with a woman, for whatever reason, then it is just not going to happen realistically no matter how amazing of a man you are.

[hahahmm]

You're looking at it from the POV of a female who probably had legions of dudes trying to get into your pants every week since you were like 13. For young guys, even a hot looking guy, it doesn't work like that. Unless he actively chases women or has really low standards (so he's open to the total sluts who have 1,000 bodies and 5 diseases) nothing is going to 'fall into his lap'.

[amadimal]

For how long have you been together? Or are you simply dating?
I don't think this is a red flag. I mean, this guy is in his early 20's; it's not like he's the ”40 years old virgin”. I don't think there is any reason not to believe him when he says he preferred to focus on his education.
If you aren't bothered by the lack of experience, don't make a fuss out of this and don't insist too much because it has the potential to become a self-fulfilling prophecy (you have a false expectation there's something wrong with him ---> you'll put pressure on him ----> something bad is actually going to happen).
Think of it this way - even if we have sexual experience, we have to discover what each of our partners likes (and dislikes). Every time, sex with someone new is an act of exploration - so even if he'd have experience, he'd still have to learn what you enjoy and also what works for both of you. So him being a virgin at 23 is not such an issue.

[myname604]

I prefer older guys but the lack of experience would be the one most prized thing a girl could ever wish for.
The more experience in sex and relationships a man has the harder it is to get along. Likewise I am sure with girls.
If you already have more experience than he has, you are probably best to let him go so he can find a more suitable girl. In relationships, experience is a curse!

[Poppymarie]

Are you calling me a slut? 🤨🤨

[RealMarek]

This is not a red flag. He sounds like a man who wanted to achieve something and be able to have something to offer a woman stability getting into a relationship. He is probably very deliberate in what he does. It no doubt required a lot of self-discipline to do that.

[bowenw]

I wouldn't say it is a red flag on it's own. There could be other things about him that are the reason no girls have wanted to have sex with him. I suggest getting to know him a lot better before deciding.

[Shiver]

If anything that's admirable. Not letting himself be distracted by anything as he gets through school and gets his career started. You'll at least know he has his priorities straight.

[bolverk]

No its not a 'Red Flag' no matter what the dating coaches say, men peak later than women do, and given what's going on in the world its not surprising that he focused on school and finding a stable job, and just because he's never had a girl friend doesn't necessarily mean he's a complete novice.
He may surprise you!

[boggboss]

How could it be a red flag lol unless you are specifically looking for a man with experience he is just a guy thats never been with a women or in a relationship

[JSmuve]

Why would that be a red flag? It's not like all guys go around whoring themselves out trying to stuff as much box as they can. Y'all women got some pretty fucked up views on how guys are supposed to be.

[Libbers]

Weird maybe but not sure a red flag. Have you actually met him? Maybe he is worry about his penis or something who knows.

[dudeinohio]

I wouldn't consider it a red flag. Sounds like he had legit reason.

[Anonymous]

No 23 is still young, I'd say if she was 30 then I'd be concerned. My boyfriend didn't lose his till he was 22, I was the one that took it.

[moviedude714]

I was later, I was 25

[anon1903]

Virginity is a normal thing. Let's not glorify or degrade it lol.

[zagor]

More common than you might think. It's just that most guys in that situation don't call attention to it.

[Anonymous]

It's not unusual or not unheard of for something like this to happen to guys, as long as men are expected to court women or make the first move or ask out first, it'll always be more common for men to go late into adulthood without ever dating anyone

[noob__master]

No it’s not a red flag he was just living life didn’t have time for a girlfriend until now

[Anonymous]

its much more common than we think, as long as guys are expected to do the pursuing or be the ones to open their mouth first in front of woman, there will always be more guys like this than girls, especially past a certain age

[Anonymous]

Why would that be a red flag? Guys who sleep around are the red flags.

[CreamySeed]

23 isn't that old to be a virgin. I would be concerned after 30

[Willoughby23]

I didn’t lose mine till I was 23. It was because I was shy and overweight and awkward around girls.

[JesseJayNeak]

Maybe he's picky. Or reserved. Or afraid that he'll get dumped

[SamIAm28]

Hey im a 28 year old virgin, shouldn't you like him for who he is?

[Anonymous]

That's pretty common for Guys, So If anything it should be a turn on.