I had a terrible dating experience recently. I didn't tell anyone I was seeing this guy and now that everything has gone wrong I can't tell anyone about it. My suggestion is to share the stories we have. I don't want to live through this alone. I'm going crazy. I HOPE you will join me.
Anyway, let me start.
I'm on Tinder. And I met a guy through it. I didn't want anything serious since my previous experience in dating wasn't successful. I told myself if there's no love at least let there be sex.
We met and we talked about it. We both agreed that we shouldn't limit ourselves. That if we like each other enough then, why not date?
He was magnificent. And he told me that he liked me too. After the first date, he said he wanted to see me as soon as possible, but then that "asap" turned out to be almost a week later (which was a bit strange to me, but I decided not to be pushy or needy). I waited but he caught a cold, so we ended up seeing each other a couple of days later than we've decided initially.
Another great date. We've spent hours together. Had dinner, then went to a couple of bars where we just sat and talked.
Right after we said goodbye I texted him telling him I had a great time, to which he replied saying now he's even more sure he likes me.
Next time we've decided to meet at my place.
Throughout the week we kept on talking until one day he just stopped texting me.
Again, not wanting to be needy I just let it be.
Texted him two days later, he replied once and the conversation stuck. At the end of the next day I texted again. No reply. My patience had limits and my imagination none. I'd think all sorts of things, so instead of making those crazy conclusions I just asked him what was wrong... and drum roll... he said he fell in love with another girl.
Updates
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I just wanted to thank everyone who commented here. It means a lot to me. I do feel much better now. I guess I had to get it off my chest and get a few comforting words. I'm figuring out how to handle the situation. So far so good.. and you all have a grand deal of investment in it! Thank you one more time!
Well, that sucks. Sorry you had to go through that.
My story begins with an assertion: I am second to none when it comes to misunderstanding women. Seriously. If it was an Olympic event, I'd be sure to take the gold, unless it was a woman handing the prizes out, at which point I'd probably assume she was kicking me out, and I'd have to leave. Now, every relationship I've had has been a woman I was already friends with (some more than others). This meant we already kinda knew each other and had more of an idea what we were getting into. It sounds great, and it is- when it works. But it does leave you at a disadvantage when it comes to meeting new prospective partners, who expect you to skip right to that stage.
So after an actually quite cordial breakup- we realized we weren't good for one another, and parted on good terms- I was ready to start looking again. While I'm not normally the type to get all morose about being single, I have my darker moments- and some of them get very dark indeed. So one day, my best friend and I go to an event at our library, during which we're all divided into groups based on the tables we're sitting at, and my friend and I are partnered up with a woman we'd never met. When the event was over, everyone was gathering their stuff and getting ready to leave, and she approaches and starts talking to me. My friend excuses himself to go to the bathroom, which I think noting of at the time, but I notice that when he comes back, he just stands by the exit, waiting and watching me. I finish up my conversation and walk over to him- he just smiles knowingly- and we walk out. As we're driving away, he asks, without preamble, "Well?". "'Well' what?" I reply. "You and that lady?" he asks, making some odd gestures with his hands. When I just look confused, he adds "You didn't think she was cute?" "Huh?" Then it clicks, and he says "She was totally flirting with you." "What? No she wasn't!" So he goes through every element of the conversation he saw, and explains how she, in fact, was. And looking at it from his perspective, I realize that he's correct; she WAS flirting with me, and I completely missed it. And she WAS cute. Dang it.
Oh, and that buddy of mine? He has Asperger's. There's nothing quite like realizing an autist is better at social interaction than you are to make you want to go into a monastery.
Sorry, I thought I've replied to your story but apparently I didn't click on "send". Is there any chance you'll meet that girl again? This is going to sound cheap, but have you tried watching some videos on YouTube? Some of them might come in handy.
Maybe; I'm not that far away now. But it was years ago. And while I'm sure Youtube is a treasure trove of treasure troves of useful information on all kinds of subjects, Microsoft Silverlight was a bad idea 25 years ago, and more companies jumping on board hasn't changed that.
Ok I'll go. There is this girl I really like. She is just my type. I haven't wanted to date her though because she has had a long distance boyfriend.
So the other day she met this guitarists from the local band and got super drunk. She made out with the guitarists.
She basically started stalking this guy. Well I meet him and tell her she needs to tell him that she has a boyfriend. Doesn't listen and he Facebook stalks her to find out she has a boyfriend.
Next time they meet he goes cold on her and tells her that. She breaks up with her boyfriend the next day and then continue to stalk her.
Pretty much after that display I never want to date this girl but she is still eye candy. All she ever talks about now is this guitarists. So basically I schmooze the band to convince them to get them together. She gets the false idea that I want to date her and basically makes unconscious faces of she is going to vomit at the idea.
I'm very self conscious of my looks and love life. I trudge through. I had to explain to the band how she fucked up so they can twist on him to get the guitarists to date her. She gets pissed that I told them the problem.
Won't talk to me for the rest of the night. Next day she is texting my sister that I'm one of the nicest people she knows. Right now I don't ever want to talk to her or see her again.
That is my most recent story of my messed up dating life.
You know, I never had a crush on someone I knew close but had no chance to date him, but I still feel your pain. Maybe it's good that nothing happened between you two. Maybe you saved yourself from some drama in the future?
Yeah your guy was def. not upfront with how he really felt about you and was stringing you along for someone else. Sorry you had to go through that.
Currently dating this guy who's typically not my usual type but something about him is so intriguing and very different from what I am normally used to. But I am giving it a shot because maybe it didn't work out with all the others for a reason- so this is def outta my comfort zone but we shall see where it goes.
Thank you for your comforting words. It means the world to me now, really. I feel like if I start telling someone about all this I'll just burst into tears... which is ridiculous because I don't know the guy for such a long time. .. and still, I got attached. Or maybe my ego is hurt? I'm trying to figure it out. It's just too fresh now. As for your new guy, I hope it all goes well! I agree with you. I think we like the same type of person, and then we face the same problem over and over. Maybe it's the choice that should be altered...
It will be ok girl, just know that whoever is meant to stay in your life will always find a reason to stay. And those who leave were either meant to be a lesson. I get it, we can't control who we catch feelings for but just know that there are plenty guys out there who'd be lucky to even be around you.
I understand what you mean. I'm trying to rationalize what he did and find the best way to cope with the situation. But I'm feeling much better now. Even though a few people replied here it still helped me a lot. So thank you!
How obscenely rude. But I wouldn't recommend tinder to find great dates as it is a pure hook up site already past its expiration date.
Can't say I've ever had a girl do that to me. I have been the "there's someone else" guy however a couple of times. But I don't engage a minute with women who are prepared to do that with guys they're invested in our are with in some way.
Yeh, I think he's been keeping his options open. And later on when he realized he like the other girl more he just preferred to ghost me. Nonetheless, I'm glad he told me the truth. He just could have put it in a different way rather than "I fell in love with another girl". That's just heartbreaking.
