I'm sure I've got quite a few but, at the moment, I can't recall very many of them. I don't know how funny this one is but, it DID get some laughs of disbelief out of my roadie and one or two of the others watching it actually happen! We were playing a gig one night and, after I get my drums set up backstage, I head out front and shoot pool for a few hours until it's our turn to play. We usually headline so, that means we don't play `til midnight or so. I just saw a Steve Mizerak (sp?) video a few weeks before on how to sink the 8-ball on the break so, I decided to try it. According to Steve, it's nearly impossible to do and the chances of it happening more than once are astronomical! But, I thought I'd give it a try. When my quarters came up and I won the game, I played the next guy in line. He dropped his quarters and racked the balls, I lined up for the break and the 8 went right into the side pocket!! I said, "Next!". The next guy racked up, I set up my shot, broke them and the 8 went right into the same pocket!! My roadie was standing right beside that pocket this whole time and was now completely amazed!! It was amazing enough to do it once but twice in a row? "Next!", I yelled. The next guy racked up, again, I set up my shot to break, took it and the 8 headed straight for the that same pocket a third time!!! Sadly, I didn't hit quite hard enough and the 8 stopped about half an inch from dropping in! My roadie was astounded that I almost did it 3 times in a row!! I always try to break the same way but, so far, I've only been able to sink the 8 on the break a total of 6 times. It's been at least a decade or 2 since I shot pool so, I'm not even sure what the exact recipe is anymore.
This happened many years ago, when I was much younger.
I flatlined at the hospital... well not really.
I was in the hospital for some tests on my heart. Nothing serious. My GP was a cardiac surgeon and wanted some more info about the minor murmur he detected. It was a teaching hospital and I was being moved from test to test, mostly with internists and med students. They had me in a wheel chair wearing a portable EKG monitor. As I was being wheeled from one room/test to another, the monitor flatlined and sounded an alarm. The two med students with me panicked, couldn't understand how I could talk to them while my heart was stopped (according to the monitor). I became a CODE BLUE and a whole team of doctors and nurses descended on me in less than a minute. It took a few minutes for them to realize that the monitor's battery had died and that I was fine.
When my GP (who was also a teacher at the hospital) heard the story, we both had a good laugh.
The results of all the tests, by the way, showed that I had a healthy heart, nothing to worry about.
@AviatorTom At tje local hospital a guy was going in to get a leg amputated. They cut off the wrong leg so they had to go back and cut off the other one. They called the guy stumpy after that.
:3... uuuum... lemme pull this one out about me being a good samaritan.
So i went to "Luna Pizza" and decided to eat this whole pepperoni pizza. I was hungry af so yeah... all of it. It was like a medium size or whatever. Went to a jewelry store and felt the price of said pizza. Got into a stall and released some loud "lions" and "fudge bars". While there, I found this phone that wasn't mine. Browsed the thing while letting everyone know what I had for lunch (with farts, not verbally. Fk me lol... aah...) So she had facebook so I posted on her wall this as I'm saying it from memory.
"To the friends of this lady, she left her phone in (jewelry store) in the women's bathroom. I'll try to give it to the staff here so they will hold it for her. -girl who decided to eat a whole 8 piece pepperoni pizza"
After encouraging other ladies to release the "lion" (i mean more like a lion cub but *shrug*) lady knocked on the door and asked if her phone was in there. Her daughter saw her mother post on facebook... but her phone was with me. She was grateful and still a funny story.
TL;DR I said someone's phone was lost on their facebook while takin' a dump for 20 minutes.
I sat through an entire college class lecture thinking we had a substitute professor and I only realized when class was finished that it was a Tuesday instead of Wednesday, and I just sat through someone else's class
hahahha that is pretty funny. Reminds me of something similar. I had an operation to repair a crushed urethra. When you gotta go... ↗ Afterwards I had to go back to the urology clinic a few times for checkups. I was going to college so one of my appointments was during one of my classes so I went to the clinic early to see if I could get it done before class. I was waiting and there were other people in the waiting room and they all seemed a little weird. When I finally spoke to the nurse she said that it was not a urology clinic in the morning. I asked her what kind of clinic it was and she said it was the STD clinic. I looked at all the other people and all of a sudden it made sense.
When I was 18 very short mini skirts we're in style. I remember this really cute out fit (skirt and button down blouse) red with white polka dots. It was dressy enough to wear to the bank where I was working. After I at my lunch I went to the bathroom. After going pee, I pulled up my panties, then my pantyhose. Somehow I managed to pull my pantyhose over my skit and didn't know it. I went back to the bank and walked around doing my work for at least 15 minutes. I was working at the counter that faced the wall. The people standing in line to do their banking got a full view of me, with my skirt tucked inside of my mini skirt. Finally one of my coworkers told me what I had done. The whole freaking bank saw me. I could have died right there and then. 🤷🏼♀️
I once met a guy at a bar and I said I just came back from an all inclusive resort in Cuba, “It cost a hundred dollars a day which I thought was a pretty good deal, and if you drink champagne, you can actually drink a hundred dollars worth of alcohol! The lady at the bar, she kept lying and telling us she didn’t have the drinks I asked for cause she was angry at us for not tipping, I was so angry!!! Your not supposed to tip, it’s included in your hotel fare! She just expects you to tip because everybody else does!” He had a PhD and chased me for 3.5 months.
I have a ton of those... I am a huge goof, sometimes just on accident...
When I was a teenager, everytime I noticed a cute guy, I always would bump into a metal pole sticking out from the ground!.. I just laughed it off. ------ When me and my guy first moved into our home, I was gonna go outside where he was, so I turn to go outside and bumped my forehead against the sliding glass door, I didn't hear him close it. It bounced me back, I said.. well, it shows how clean the glass is. it was funny! -------
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Anonymous
(30-35)
1 y
I went into a sub shop and ordered a turkey and avocado.
The girl hands me this.
She asks me if that was it. I said: "I'm no expert, but doesn't it just seem a little too brown? And shouldn't there be some green stuff somewhere?"
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