How come, black guys don't want to date me, but always seem to be down to Fuck, or DON'T have the right intentions with me?

[Erica686]

So I've noticed, as I got older in age. I start attractive different types of guys. And my very 1st boyfriend was black. So I've always been attracted to them. But as time went on, I also dated guys that was none black. But anyways, I just DON'T understand at the age of (29) I keep running into the bad boys or the almost have way decent guys. But most of them, just want to Smash or to be entertained. And it seems like, I have a better chance of dating someone outside! but I'm not so much attractive to white guys, mexicans, Asians, or other. But, My preference is mixed guys. But I haven't had much success with that department. A lot of mixed guys, usually go after the other mixed girls or white and some have played games. But over all, I have had met some pretty cool, mixed guys then and then. But anyways, with my own kind: they typically don't want to date me, :(. But I see some with some ugly ass girls, and I'm like - how did she get him, but I'm over here looking crazy wanting a black guy to commit to me. This shit, is getting out of hand! I mean. I DON'T discriminate or anything! but as a African American girl. I always stuck with my own kind and always felt that it was more comfortable. But Nooo. Since I move from the Auburn Alabama, that's when I notice things started to change. It's even got to the point, that my past friends with benefits of 8 year is down with getting me pregnant. Wtf! No got damn commitment. He just wants some ass, smh. But any advice maybe I'm doing something wrong?

[MCheetah]

I'm a black guy and don't know anything about you. However, what's being implied here, is that you don't even like black guys at all, it seems ("I'm not so much attractive to white guys, Mexicans, Asians, or other. But, My preference is mixed guys") because your actions seem to contradict what you first said.

It seems more like, you think black guys (certainly black guys; probably not me, I'm sure) are sexy, or "more f*ckable" or you are turned on the most by them, but don't actually want to date them. That, or your ae attributing traits of your first boyfriend (probably over six feet tall, and super athletic and ripped, I'd guess) and projecting those onto other black guys you've come across, and being disappointed by the results. Then again, I don't know you, so these are all theories on my end.

However, I'd be willing to bet money if I hit on you, you would reject me, even if you didn't know my personality. So I don't think it's an issue with "black guys." Sounds more like, to me, you are just going after the players and bad boys and most of the *happen t be* black. Which is something VERY common with modern women nowadays.

"I only go after the hottest Chads and Bad Boys; why do they all treat me like sh*t?"

Again, I could be wrong. But then again, this seems like 1 out of 3 women under 30, nowadays.

[Erica686]

Okay so here is my thing. I don't discriminate against anyone nor do I hate my own kind. It's just that the few guys that I've dated or going after wasn't what I expected. And now and days! the guys, that I do come across are and between the bad boys and the somewhat okay guys. And if he is a good guy who happens to be African-American I tend to run away from that. I realize I attract certain type of men. It's like they say the Bad Boys ain't no good, but the good boys ain't No fun. But sometimes, it can be the good guys that betrays the bad qualities. But again yes I do know the difference between the bad boys and actual cut African-American decent guys. I just have to stop chasing after what I think is good, when it isn't. And also. I have met a few black guys, most recently. But it's either the ones that do try to get to know me and I push them away because I'm not attracted to them. Or it's either the ones that seems to live on a edge that I'm drawin to. But I just want to find a Christian man, and a guy who is prepare to be with me and not what the DS in the games. A lot of the guys I've met also have played games or seem to be uncertain about their feelings for me. So I don't know. In a reason why I say I prefer mixed guys is because the majority of the black guys I've dated that are strictly straight African-American have disappoint me and have disrespect me in some type of way it doesn't have to be sexually. So I said if I date another black guy I want him to be somewhat at least mix. I'm not just throwing black guys off to the curve like that. But I have had too many let-downs and disappointment you're right. Even with my eight year of w being all he wants clearly is sex. And I'm not expecting him to commit to me but I'm not willing to keep laying down with him.

[hahahmm]

It's very simple. You subconsciously ignore the black guys who are looking for more than sex and you focus on the black guys who are only interested in buttering up your ego with sexual compliments and getting you into bed. I knew a woman like you who would whine to me just like you are & she was constantly in and out of relationships with black guys who treated her like dirt. Even when she got into a really long relationship, the guy was a total a-hole (horror movie level stuff) but she stayed with him because she had low self-esteem. Finally she tried dating a respectful, great black guy (business owner) and you know what happened? She bailed after date 1 because he didn't try to bang her on the first date. That's when I just tuned all of her whining out for good.

It's also possible that you have way lower standards for white guys than black guys so you don't even notice when the non-black guy treats you like trash. I mean, there is a reason why you aren't in a good relationship right now, right? It's not like you found a guy who really valued you and then you dumped him so do the math.

[hahahmm]

Trust me, you have all types in every race. You just aren't in the same zipcode (figuratively speaking) as the higher quality black guys. Look in the mirror and figure out why that is. It probably involves the image of yourself that you project too. A man will never take a woman seriously if she acts like she doesn't take herself seriously. A lot of women don't get this. Yes, it helps to pick a guy who is actually worth being serious with too.

[loves2learn]

You must be attracted to bad boy types. I think you should try nor to limit to just one race. Will be harder for you to find a good guy if you narrow your field so much.

[yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo]

It's more generational. Sometimes it's cultural in the community. But whatever people are doing at the time others seem to follow. It's called the Jones effect. It's purely psychological, and subconscious more than anything.

Look at social media and radio and tv. How they paint an attractive women is different than reality. But people follow fantasies first. People want a Meghan thee stallion or a Cardi B now a days than a Zendaya, and Zendaya is gorgeous.

It's a toxic culturalistic ideal that BOTH men AND women have played a role in building.

[Anonymous]

Real easy. You teach people how to treat you. You haven't held these guys to accountability in the past. You're always going to have guys that will treat all women as a piece of ass. But guys talk and you may have earned a reputation of "easy".
I used to work with this girl that was the nicest person. But we'd frequently get guys coming up to see her right before we closed because apparently she was almost always DTF.

[007kingifrit]

blacks have a bad culture, they are violent short sighted and stupid. 70% of them leave women after getting them pregnant. what made you think you were going to break this trend?

56% of all violent crime is done by blacks, they just aren't build for long term relationships

[kimmoore]

I suggest you read the Bible regular for wisdom okay

[anylolone]

Good chances that it's the kind of guys you want.
Good chances you are just fucking guys down to fuck because in reality that's all you want.

[Fighter_Pilot]

Maybe your just too cute not to fuck.

[Erica686]

What

[Fighter_Pilot]

Hey, I'm just being honest here.

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

Why's it gotta be about race, girl

[Erica686]

I'm sorry

[Anonymous]

I would recommend getting pregnant by an African American man and you will trap him.

[Erica686]

Nope!!

[JesseJayNeak]

Avoid the bad boys

[FACEtrefivsev357]

Dm me

[jimmy2]

You are not old dear