I figured I would borrow the unique and always interesting people on here and see what fascinating perspectives you would share.
What event changed your dating life forever? Now don’t say COVID because that effected everyone. Give me something unique and particularly to you
For example: my dating life changed when I was dealing with a heartbreak and someone incredibly wise said this to me “How can you expect someone to love you if you don’t love yourself?”. It made me look inward and it’s changed my relationships ever since.
Your turn 🤗
What personal event changed your dating life forever?
I feel much more positive and confident about life and ofc it reflects on my dating life as well. I no longer accept to be in a toxic relationship for example.
Visiting my parents one weekend. They go to bed. I'm bored. Get on their computer. Hmm. What's a chat room. Oh, there's a lot of people here live. Dang. Well, let me pick some interest me. Oh wait, some are already asking about hooking up locally. Ok nevermind. I'll pick a geography-based 'room' then. Hmm, California should suffice. Far enough away to kill all that meeting up business. Uh oh. This guy is pretty cool. "I bet you're elegant. I can feel it." Weeks go by. Now we're on the phone for hours all the time. "I have to meet you." We grew to love each other. 6 month LDR. Then suddenly, right after Christmas, my day, and Valentine's day, he ghosts me. Asshole. Didn't even have the balls or respect to return my calls. Wtf? He's totally avoidant, now lying to me. "Ok ok I want to break up." He gave me no real reasons, I have no closure. So I called his friend, who I had spoken with briefly once on the phone "You have to say hi to him, meet him one day. You two are so similar, you would like him." Yeah, I did. I didn't call him to get together with him AT ALL, but after we talked about the first guy, how he is in relationships, what could be the reasons for why he suddenly broke up with me... we naturally started talking about life, about everything. It was our second conversation, and it lasted 11 hrs straight. We saw the sun come up. We only got off the phone because we had to go to work and school. We were in shock, how well we hit it off. We took a break, both pondered the... 'rightness' of this situation. What a fucking headache. The best friend/the ex? Different countries/LDR again? Different backgrounds/cultures. Jesus. Obstacles? Hell yeah.
But the connection was undeniable. Went through quite a bit of hell to make it work. A lousy start, for sure. But we're still married, 21 years later. We've had to deal with a lot of stuff, and the beginning was particularly a lot, but life never stops doling things out to you. It's always a choice, whether to continue or not. I don't believe in fate. I believe in reason, rationale, logic, and the heart.
Well I’ve always been the chaser or the flirt when trying to find a relationship. I would even fall head over heels just for one ☝🏻 simple compliment. I used seeking relationship and finding a partner to fill in the voids of my loneliness and boredom in my life.
This has been happening for about 2 1/2 years now since I moved to this small town. But no one here likes each other. That even on FB you see neighbors, Karens, soccer moms, just complaining and ranting about each other. It’s hurtful and exhausting.
But this town has challenged me and taught me ways to grow, evolve and handle tough situations with people. That now I hope wherever I move to next. Life will be easy and full of happiness.
But the other side is while trying to find a relationship online with no success. I have made 3 guy friends from those 2 years. We’re in the same boat of living in a rural area while trying to find a relationship and our dreams. We support each other in the situation we are each going through.
But one of them has given me tough love and tells me to focus more on myself and stop chasing relationships. Which resulted of me not chasing anyone anymore cause of the disappointment and hurt.
So now, I’m just spending money 💵 to spoil myself and TRYING to have fun and be happy.
My dating life actually changed during the pandemic. I was seeing someone for a few months. We weren't official, but we did date exclusively (weird, I know). It was months of me doing the best I can to do right by a woman while feeling like I had to walk on egg shells due to her trust issues. Her and I weren't even all that compatible. It all came to an end when I caught her breaking boundaries with another guy. I just couldn't trust her after that, and it was ironic that the woman who kept acting like she could never trust me did something completely untrustworthy. Ever since then, I've decided to never make any unnecessary compromises to appease someone I'm dating again. I'm also more vigilant when it comes to pursuing the type of women that I want to pursue, and not settling for anything else.
Bro, it was tough. It was 6 months of not knowing whether or not a woman was truly happy to be dating me. It was drama every other week, and I'm not a dramatic guy lol. To make matters worse, her triggers came out of nowhere most of the time, and usually led to her not talking to me for a couple of days while I had to figure out how to make things better. Leaving her alone is one of the best decisions I've made in my lifetime.
When my ex girlfriend literally said “tough luck your an ex” when I found out I had an HPV infection a few weeks after she broke up with me.
Obviously I was in no hurry to tell her. But I was loyal to her for entire year. I was legitimately concerned about her own health and obviously horrified at the time.
We had more of a “sad” break up because we both figured it wasn’t going to work. Although she broke up with me I wanted her to. I thought we would have a mutual respect despite the hurt feelings. Even though I no longer loved her as a girlfriend I still loved her as a person.
But I was wrong. DEAD wrong. I have never completely put my trust into someone again after that incident.
I don’t have time to invest in the dating world and deal with the crap that comes without. With my personal life I’m busy between homeschooling my kids and in college with my studies full time. I’m willing to make time for the right person only.
Probably when I realized I was asexual, and didn't really enjoy being in a relationship. I was miserable in my last relationship and finally realized that I don't enjoy physical intimacy at all, and asked myself, "Why am I even doing this?" I had always been under the impression that the sexual feelings would come "when I was ready" and "with the right person", and that being in a relationship was "just something people do". I never questioned whether or not I was really interested in a relationship, and believed the feelings I wasn't experiencing would eventually come. It's a shame I didn't figure it out earlier because I feel I wasted my ex's time and unintentionally hurt him, but I'm glad I finally came to that realization and have stayed single since.
I had little to no standards and I would accept any invitation that came my way, cuz I'm a solid five on my best days. But I was told by my sgt no less that I shouldn't try to find a catch but I should always try to be the catch which sounded bells in my head.
Last year when I got hit by someone I respected, my family ditched me and my ex cheated on me. I was feeling helpless and I suffered PTSD at that time. I was all alone in a room and bawling my eyes. I had no one. I don't want to feel that way.
I just totally feel you. It was my first relationship ever and now I understand why my parents want me to focus on myself and date later. I’m honestly drained from the energy I put into them and how little effort I got back. I’m ashamed of myself for chasing them and I honestly regret giving them attention when I wasn’t even interested at first. I’m so embarrassed and I never want to feel that way again.
Totally, I feel the exact same. She's keep guilt tripping me for every mistake I did but any time she messed I'm not supposed to feel upset cause she's apparently going through stuff and can't control herself. And she'd throw tantrums when I didn't give her attention even during moments I was busy, like trying to find a hospital for my grandpa who had severe covid. It was horrible and took me a long time before I could even feel happy again.
Just how women have treated me all through life but it really took effect after my first love and the girl afterwards just completely crushed my feelings towards future women I've tried to date
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