Maybe you fell for them later on, but have you ever started dating someone, when you weren't actually interested in anything other than the fact that they liked you?
Yes
No
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Have you ever started dating someone only because THEY liked YOU?
The context: I had never been in a relationship. I never even dated anybody and I was 20 at the time. I used to be very insecure and considered myself to be very lucky if any girl would even notice that I existed.
The story: It was my first proper full-time job. I was very nervous, but also excited to learn and grow. I made friends pretty quickly there. People were all so helpful - it was a dream.
Among them, was my reporting manager. She helped me and guided me a lot. We became quite friendly soon enough. I learnt that she was going through a breakup, and I being myself, offered to be there whenever she required someone to talk to.
After about 3-4 months in the job, I got to know that my brother was getting married. So I took a few days off to prepare for and attend the wedding. I had gone for a week.
When I came back, she was a mess. As soon as we got a chance to talk, she just burst into tears saying how she missed me so much and somehow wasn't able to get me out of her head. I didn't know what to say. On one hand, I was worried for her and on the other, none of that made any sense to me. 'How is that possible?' 'Is this really happening?' It was just so surreal and I was so naive, that even the thought of workplace ethics didn't cross my mind. She proceeded to kiss me, I just gave in. To be completely honest, in my heart, I was also a little scared about my job.
Well, that was that. We started dating, or whatever it was. I actually had no idea what was going on. I just kept doing whatever she wanted of me. During this period, I also discovered how men can be victims of non-consensual sex, if not rape.
After a few months, I noticed signs of anxiety and stress develop in me. I was always a little on edge, my head was never clear. I started losing my sleep, my focus and my appetite. I even had thoughts of hurting myself. It kept going on for 6 months or so. I finally thought let me just be clear and honest with her, and she'll understand.
I talked to her and I told her that I wanted to stop and just break things off. She started emotionally blackmailing me and threatened of committing suicide and whatnot. That went on for another 3 months.
It was only after I quit my job that I was really able to get rid of her. I treat that as a very important experience in my life, that has helped me become more sensitive to people going through mental health issues, and physical abuse.
But ya, to complete my answer, I never started liking her and I never fell for her either.
Yes and because when I really really liked some girl it always turned out she wasn't really interested in me, they were hard on me, not caring how they made me feel and always doing whatever they wanted. Seems like they hardly ever had time for me or would leave me hanging, and then ghost me in the end. So because I was done that way I would do the same when a girl wanted to date me I wasn't that in to. This became a vicious cycle and I truly regret being that way because they were really good girls and I just tossed them away. My question is, can 2 people really and truly like each other and be equals or does one always fall victim for liking the other more or showing their love more?
Unfortunately, yes. Both my exes. I'm ashamed to admit it, but when I was younger, desperate, and going through a phase were I felt like I was "undateable," I was happy to have any guy want to be with me. So when they asked me out, I'll admit I wasn't interested in either of them initially...
Note how I said initially. They weren't my type, there was no attraction there outside of a friendship, but they liked me. So I gave them a chance, because, "Hey, they liked me! I had a boyfriend finally!" But over time did I fall for them? Absolutely. I fell for their personality, how well they treated me, and tried to make me happy.
However, neither relationship lasted for various reasons. The fact of the matter is, you CAN date someone you're not attracted to or like, and it potentially lead to you liking them down the road. But would I recommend it? NO.
You shouldn't be with someone just because they're convenient or happen to like you, yet the feeling isn't mutual. Because you're not guaranteed to be happy, or you'll feel trapped in a loveless relationship.
I married him because I thought he was crazy about me (which was part of why I found him attractive). I don't recommend any relationship because you think someone likes you. It sucks when you both find out it was a lie or one of you loses interest.
Yh that’s what I experienced with my ex. Got with him after him chasing me around for like 4 years. I figured maybe it will save me some heartbreak to go for a guy who is really into me. Fast forward a year and a bit and he’s treating me poorly and I really doubt he even actually liked me. Maybe he thought he did. I was also cold to him for the first 6 months or so. So not great for either.
@victoriaxoxo We had a short courtship. I was young. He started treating me badly during our honeymoon. I wanted to leave him when we got back, but he convinced me to stay. It took me a long time to add everything up and realize he doesn't care about me (or anyone else). I guess I made my bed! We get along and we don't argue and we are able to enjoy eachother's company. I have heard a couple of other people on GaG have similar situations, so now I don't feel so unique.
At least you guys get along. It’s not that uncommon to date without love but it’s the worst when the other person thinks that their lack of strong emotion towards you gives them the right to treat you like shit. Learning how to live together even if you’re not in love is a skill.
@victoriaxoxo He can certainly dish it out, but I'm good at letting it roll off my back and pretending to be clueless. I think we're just comfortable with eachother.
No. The closest to that was when in uni when she didn't have the type of face I like. She was physically fit. We dated for a while. She had awesome character and probably 1 out of 3 of the best characters I ever knew. I married one of the others. And the third one wasn't available.
That's not a bad thing- sometimes you don't necessarily notice someone until you hear a whisper that they like you. Now you stop, take a longer look and realize that he/she is kind of cute, maybe there could be something.
This is how the world works, how people work. We are whimsical at times, and need to be more open to others.
Well you don't start dating anyone because they despise you, and rare as it is love at first site happens but, to even go out with someone or accept go out there must have to be some kind of attraction on both of you, unless you just wanted a free meal and get drunk for free but it all starts with mutual attraction rest depends on how much of an ass he is, if there will be another date or you leave him there waiting in front while you and new date sneak in back way
No. Women almost never like me first. However, I'd probably be open to it, if a girl ever liked me first and wanted to date me. But this mostly sounds like a woman thing, to happen. Guy likes girl, girl dates guy cause she's bored, girl falls for guy.
When i was younger i knew this 1 girl had a crush on me. She wasn't my type. But she was a nice girl. Always respectable. And always willing to go beyond in any thing. she's actually the 1 that asked me out. And i was single at the time, i said u know what, let's see what happens. And even tho we didn't work as a couple... we are still good friends, after all this time.
It seems unfair to do to that to someone. If they ever found out, it would be mortifyingly-embarrassing for them as well as being a blow to the ego that may hurt them for a long time to come. If you don't theyre amazing, you aren't doing them a favor by dating them; you're just monopolizing time that they could be spending finding a partner who thinks they're the best thing ever.
No, it freaks me out.. so I have avoided all these close calls cause its bone-chilling! & I don't want to break someone's heart either so I just pretended to slide it away.
However, I am the one who loves to do the chase & earn. that godamn thing but since I have been also getting texts from girls so I just got the sense the way I slide others I will be slid too so it just gave the overall look of how to slide things away and how you get slid away by girls.
In retrospect, I feel like an idiot, but at the time I was pretty lonely and willing to go with anyone. For me, these kinds of relationships usually end once they know that my favorite date idea is watching trains.
No, but I've been in the reverse situation with someone dating me only because I liked them and they didn't really like me that way. It worked out okay because we didn't date long and we're good friend now though
You would both have to be strong to deal with the distance you can't kiss, cuddle, no physical I could deal with it for a while, but I haven't been in a relationship for many years so I'm longing for physical and emotional connection asap.
Unfortunately, yes I have. In my very early days of dating I felt compelled to date them because I was too nice to tell them I wasn't interested. Safe to say it never ended well.
Yes. While I thought of him as more of a friend when he asked me out, it didn't take me long to start falling for him. I'm so glad I gave him the chance. Now I couldn't imagine being with anyone else.
Yeah, Which is all good because i devlop feelings easier when someone has those for me. Which is also a proven thing of how affection works. So it works out for me.
Two marriages and a few girlfriend's... because of the low self-esteem I had for years I took their affection like a handout and then I fell obligated. In the end every relationship like that ended in disaster.
Yes, big mistake. Learn to say no if your heart isn’t in it.. I’m going to sound like a massive douche but fuck their feelings. The feeling should be mutual.
Kindof I did like her by the time we started dating but I wouldn't have probably when she first started flirting with me a couple of months before I was put in the picture
I think it varies according to gender Females are more likely to fall for that They are more sentimental and they are easy to fall for pretty words , appraisal and the feel of being wanted Men are less sensitive to that
