Would you rather date someone who shares your exact interests or someone that has different interests/introduces new interests?

Question

To elaborate - like shared interests would be you already have the same interests. So you meet them and they like the same activities like sports or art or interests in movies and music.
or
Someone who has interests you’ve never explored, but you’re both wanting to do them together. They pick up on your interests and you pick up on theirs.

like if I meet a guy and I am not already interested in things he loves (like sports or knowledge of movies or books etc) would that make someone lose interest or do these things not matter?

Lliam · Accepted Answer

It's important that we have shared values. It's nice to have some shared interests. But it's fine to have different interests and hobbies, too.

For example:
My wife and I share some tastes in movies, but there are some genres that we disagree on. For the most part, though, we'll watch movies together, even we don't enjoy them equally. In doing so, we've broadened our tastes and come to appreciate things that we may have previously rejected.

We have different tastes in music, but the same thing applies to music as applies to. movies. There are genres that we both like and our tastes have broadened due to exposure to other stuff that we previously disdained.

I have always been into aircraft. She doesn't get it and that's okay. She's fine with my going to air shows and museums, and watching films about airplanes. And I'm fine with her not having any interest.

She's a professional photographer, although it's not her main source of income. I have some artistic training and a good eye, but know little about photography. But I appreciate her work and she often asks me too assist, critique and/or advise.

She likes to play games like board games, cards, and stuff like that. I can take them or leave them. But I often play along and we have fun.

We have other interests and hobbies that we engage in separately. We're not joined at the hip. At the same time, we can have fun discussing those things with each other and learning new things. I think it makes life more interesting than being clones of each other.

There are lots of things that we enjoy equally, too.

MannMitAntworten · Accepted Answer

No one shares “exact same interest”. My personal experience is meeting woman who ‘claim’ to share a certain interest but they never seem to want to go and do any of the said shared interest. Rather, something else of the variety of some interest of theirs. Frankly I rather date the woman who is equally genuine in word and action. That is in short supply. That aside, dating someone who shares none of your interest or at least is open to participating - since again, speaking from personal experience, the women I have been involved with have an expectation of participation in ‘their’ interest. However, when it comes to ‘my’ interest, that is labelled as, “your thing” and for me to “go and do my thing on my own”. Which is awfully similar to still being single so why even bother getting involved? Participation has been far too one sided, so if exact interest exist, I’ll take that option. But it does not exist.

weasley8 · Accepted Answer

I’m a professional musician. It’s my main activity type interest. So I’d say I want someone who appreciates music, listens to it, and enjoys going to performances, but who doesn’t know as much as I do. Mostly because I want someone who thinks I sound amazing, even if I’m having an off day. And there are certain things that no one will pick up on unless they’re trained. Other interests are reading, writing, and math. Most of those are solitary activities, so it mostly just matters that the other person also has solitary activities that they enjoy, that way I won’t have to leave them all alone and sad. Maybe I’d like if they read my writing though. But they don’t have to take a special interest in writing as a whole. I mostly want them to read my writing as a way of showing interest in me, and my ideas. I also really enjoy debate. And I would probably get pretty bored in a relationship where I couldn’t do that.

So it depends on the specific interest, but for the most part, I’d prefer to date someone with different interests. Then we can learn from each other.

EmmaMary · Accepted Answer

Fortunately neither my husband or I are joined at the hip.

He has is own interests, hobbies etc. and goes his own way, either alone or with his friends.

I too have mine and do likewise.

However, now we have our little boy, naturally all, or most of our time is devoted to taking care of him.

We do however, still manage to have a little free time to ourselves.

Mofunfour20 · Answer

It doesn't matter what she's interested in. As long as she's respectful, friendly, fit, and peaceful. Why would I be interested in her hobbies when I've had mine for a decade? I dont care if she isn't interested in my hobbies, theyre for my peace of mind not hers.

Titanya · Answer

I chose someone with different interests because I like learning and exploring.
I want them to enjoy quality time with me by talking or teaching me about something they love and I have no idea about.

It helps you to connect and see how your significant other behaves in various situations.

Like, how does he/she behave when he's/she's losing a game or something isn't going his/her way?

This can guide you in how to proceed with the relationship

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

I like having mostly similar, but with some different ones in the mix.

Enough that we're on the same page and I can understand his excitement about things, but also enough separate interests that we still maintain individualism and independence.

It's nice to share some stories, then also have some unique to ourselves we can then share with the other.

White_Widow · Answer

A bit of both. Be nice if we shared some common ground but I'd also like it if we both have different interests and we can learn from each other and maybe get into each others hobbies. And it's also fine if we both have our "own" thing. But some common ground is nice in the sense that it would make it easier to do some stuff together.

BruceJender · Answer

This is complicated:

I’d like to date someone with some shared interests, because that usually sparks conversation.

Then again, someone who brings up new interests, it does the same thing.

Therefore I’m going to say a bit of both.

ChiTown33 · Answer

Our interests don't have to be exact in fact I think it's better if they're a little varied. It allows one to open the other to new experiences. But I think it's important they share a general outlook. Like it's not going to work if one is frivolous and the other is thrifty.

TheBootyChest · Answer

Option C: I want us to have 50% shared/established interests already before dating, and the other 50% is different interests that we can explore together with the hopes that most of the new ones can become shared interests.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Both. We do things together sometimes. He does his own other time. Then we come together at the end of the day, we talk about it.

I don’t want to be with someone who is doing things togethr all the time. Gets boring.

MotorcycleMan · Answer

I would like to have shared interests, but different and new interests should be there too. Having shared interests in great for doing things together, but different interests are great for doing things apart, or learning new things.

Everglow5 · Answer

For me, I'd like if they had the same interests because no one has the same interests as me, and I really wanna be able to talk about these things w someone

kristine_o · Answer

shared interests = common topic, something to bond over.  different interests = something to learn from each other -> growth It's great to have a good mix of both

jillybeanns · Answer

Honestly, shared interest. I think it’ll warrant for a more balanced lifestyle. It would be cool for us to explore new things/hobbies together though.😊

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Different interests! It makes life more interesting =)

Commander_Red · Answer

I prefer a mixture of both. If he were completely similar to me, I'd feel like I'm dating myself, and I'd probably get bored. However, if I'm dating someone completely different from me, I'd start to question our compatibility. We should be able to share some common interests while also keeping our individualitity.

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

I think it would be great if we had some overlapped interests or something in common and then also have interests for ourselves.

missmels · Answer

I like a mix a both, that way we can enjoy some things together, have our own things separately, and also teach each other about new things

alice55 · Answer

A mix of both. Same similar one but not 100 % of them. Some similar and some different, that would make things more interesting but we could still share things together.

comekitty · Answer

I think a little of both. It's nice to have similar interests so you can do things together but it's also nice to learn new things.

Adam1978 · Answer

They should overlap ie we share at least one interest but it's good if there is something we call our own too.

pyrocrypt · Answer

I would NOT be able to even be FRIENDS with someone who doesn't share most of my interests. I feel like it's a personal necessity for me. If I was being long term with someone, they'd absolutely need to have most of my core interests...

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