I (18M) confirmed my feelings to my crush (19F). Would anybody mind helping me interpret her response?

[HumbleMike]

I’ve been talking to her for the past 5 months after adding her on snap and eventually asking for her number. We’ve really gotten close since then as friends and we found that we had a lot in common with each other. Music taste, similar personalities (shy introverts), sense of humor. You name it, we just clicked in so many ways.

So silly lovesick me, who’s never had a girlfriend before developed a crush on her. I started subtly flirting with her, adding a few light sexual innuendos here and there, and she responded well, flirting back with me, calling me cute, handsome, teasing me, asking for my opinion on bikini pics, etc.

It’s more than that though. Obviously I find her extremely attractive, but I also I really genuinely care about her too and she already means a lot to me. She’s always been there for me when I wasn’t feeling so hot, and giving me advice when I needed it. It meant the world to me.

I didn’t plan on wanting to date this early, I’m entering my freshman year of college now, but we’re going to different colleges. We had only gotten the chance to hang out in person once (we had a great time), but it was because of a variety of reasons: both of us were immensely busy all summer with jobs/vacation, etc. So I just said yolo, and I confessed my feelings, and asked her to be more than friends.

Long story short, she turned me down for now because of the long distance factor (our colleges are 3 hours away from each other) among other reasons.

I’ll attach screenshots below of our convo (some parts cut out that I don’t feel comfortable sharing), but long story short, I want to know if you guys think I still have a real chance with her in the future. I’d still love to be her friend regardless, considering how well we click together, so no issue there, so please don’t sugar coat anything.

Once our first semester ends, she’ll be back in town in December so I’m hoping for things to progress a lot in that time. Any advice is much appreciated as always.

[NathanDavis]

To me, it is very clear... she is not interested in attachments, and surely not in attachments with someone she does not have time to really and actually interact with.
She is going to start college, this means making new friends possible, knowing other people that will be interesting, possibly... and besides the college busy life, she is probably going to focus on just settling into a new life.

All of that requires time, focus and energy... so she needs 100% or most of herself into that, right now... and since you already said that are perfectly fine with that, well... that's what she is going to do, first because that's what she wants and also because you're fine with that.

[HumbleMike]

Thanks for the input. Like I said, I do totally see where see where she’s coming from and I respect that. Do you think there’s any chance she likes me back right now? She said she’d be willing to see if anything develops further in the future but I don't know if I should take that at face value or her just rejecting me nicely

[NathanDavis]

I have no doubt that she likes you in many ways, I am sure of that.

And it is possible that she likes you also in a way in which she would want to be with you, however...

Many times that's just not enough. Some people do consider other things first before they go for more, and availability, closeness are two things that are needed. The two of you can't have that right now... could the two of you have it in the future? we are talking at least four years of college, which is a long long time to wait, that's not ideal at all.

It's just not ideal to think of a relationship with someone that is going to be at a different place for the next four years... besides, the two of you will be meeting other people, interacting with different people and that brings the possibility of connecting and bonding with others significantly... that poses another risk that brings uncertainty.

So she's not rejecting you... I am sure she likes you and she's willing to continue to see how things can go with the you of you on what the two of you already have... and you have to see this for what it is, she is willing to keep a friendship/casual relationship with you... online, and you already said that you are okay with that, so in a way, you're also letting her know, that you will not try for more either

In a way you already communicated her that you're willing to give up on her for good.

[JustinTimberlegs]

Looks pretty clear that she doesn't want to date, I think it's best that you treat it like there's no hope and move on. If it happens in the future that's great but I wouldn't hope for it, it will turn you bitter or needy and ruin the relationship anyway. At this point the best thing to do is show her you have your own life and interests to pursue. The more you chase her the more you'll push her away.

Sounds like she wants to meet new people and party in college without having to hold herself back. Sorry for the rejection, you'll find another don't worry.

[HumbleMike]

Yea I agree that she def doesn’t want to date atm which is cool. I’m fine with staying a close guy friend with her for the time being.

I wasn’t planning on getting a girlfriend this early anyway. She just happened to be one of the only girls I’ve met that I’ve felt this right about, and I couldn’t miss the opportunity to ask her out.

I’ll def focus on myself, like you said, but I’m cool with waiting for her because of what I said. I’m not actively pursuing a relationship rn cuz I genuinely care about my studies. I know she does as well, and I do genuinely care about her a lot as a friend. I’m not gonna actively hit on her obv cuz she already knows how I feel but once she comes back first semester I’ll def still make plans with her and see where it goes. Any advice on keeping our friendship alive in the meantime? I want us to continue to get closer and bond together

[Celtero]

She wants you to be what manosphere types call a "beta orbiter." Aka, a guy that gives her validation and attention when she needs it, and then she turns around and fucks other guys... which seems to be what she's intent on doing, considering her comments about not wanting a long term relationship yet "meeting" new people. 3 hour distance is totally doable for a relationship, she just doesn't want it.

Probably best to just cut her off and try meeting other girls.

[HumbleMike]

She also said that we don’t have a strong enough foundation for a lasting relationship, which I totally agree with atm: we’ve only hung out once in person and have only known each other for like 5 months.

I know from my time knowing her that she cares about school a lot and she’s passionate about her major, and that I’m her closest guy friend already. (Literally no guys aside from me comment on her posts, especially not in a flirty manner that she responds to)

I do appreciate your feedback though. Long distance is not for everyone though, and I won’t fault her for not wanting exclusivity rn, we’re both still very young. I’m totally cool with taking shit slow rn