Is it bad to open up after an argument?

[Cleverusername16]

Like you get in an argument over a miscommunication, as a man (20’s) would it be bad/ weak to open up and let that person (F 20’s) know you were feeling down about something else and that's why you were on edge when you apologize?

Or is that healthy?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

No, that's actually the healthy way to make up and establish a strong bond of mutual trust and respect. Naturally, you must be with a good and trustworthy person who won't use your opening up against you - sadly it does happen.
So, in sum - it's healthy, but you should trust your judgment whenever you are with someone who's trustworthy or not.
That said, I admit I'm incredibly bad at this - my answer, even with intimates, is to just smile in face of adversities and try to not show any weakness, which is wearing in the long run.

[Browneye57]

The arguing in the first place is a giant fail. You use facts and logic, she uses feelings. And no matter what evidence you have to prove your point, she will ALWAYS make it about her feelings. So you simply cannot win an argument with a woman. EVER.

Next, NEVER do anything you have to apologize for. Just don't. Practice stoicism, be solid. And learn how to allay shit-tests. You've met your match - in fact, you're over-matched. Women are master communicators and they'll run circles around your pathetic ass.

[Christine8]

Yes that is healthy that is great to communicate how you are feeling to your partner. That is what will make the relationship stronger a person that is able to talk about the problem and resolve the conflict in a healthy manner. I am dating a person that when I try to explain how I am feeling he will get so angry run off into a room and then ignore me for how ever long he wants. It’s the most awful thing.
So to be able to talk about your problem and how you feel that is excellent!

[Cleverusername16]

I took full responsibility for my actions and miscommunication and let her know why I was feeling the way I did. It's just a position as a man I am not used to being in and I felt kind of weak doing it. So far it has been me comforting her as she opened up, so I felt completely out of my element being the vulnerable one. To add to this, it was our first argument so it was nerve wracking to see how she would respond.

She told me that these things happen and I didn't owe her an explanation but she really appreciates me doing it anyways... not sure if that is good or bad reaction?

[Christine8]

It’s not weak at all! That was a good reaction she even told you so that she appreciates it.
That’s the only way a relationship can work if you have open communication and are able to discuss any issues or conflict that arise! Well done that is great that you are able to open up and let her know how you feel!

[Blackcupcake]

Yes I think she definitely would appreciate it if you explained to her what was going on. If it’s unusual for you to be “on edge” then she probably is confused and wondering what’s going on and that would give her answers for sure.

[Cleverusername16]

hanks, I took full responsibility for my actions and miscommunication and let her know why I was feeling the way I did. It's just a position as a man I am not used to being in and I felt kind of weak doing it.

Essentially I put a lot of value into something she did to compensate for a rough week without communicating before hand how important it was, so when it fell through I felt slighted.

She told me that these things happen and I didn't owe her an explanation but she appreciates me doing it anyways... not sure if that is good or bad? What do you think?

[Blackcupcake]

I think it’s good... for me personally, I would say the same thing to a guy if I truly care about him because these things do happen. It’s okay for it to happen as long as it ends on a good note. I wouldn’t want for him to feel like he HAS to give me an explanation, because like I said it’s okay, shit happens. But I would appreciate it if he did explain what was going in his head, just so I understand what’s happening. So I think that’s what she might be trying to say.

[Cleverusername16]

Thanks! That's comforting to read. I thanked her for being so understanding and told her I valued her, her thoughts, and feelings and that I wanted to be upfront about the roots of the issue... it was just nerve-racking since this was our first argument and up to this point it's been me comforting her, so it is a complete 180 from what we're used to and I felt very vulnerable.

[Blackcupcake]

aww that’s so sweet!! I’m pretty sure she’s glad she could do that for you... giving you comfort just like you’ve been doing for her.

There’s no reason to be nerve wracked, if she truly cares for you (which she seems like she really does), then she’d support and comfort you whenever you need it.

I’m really happy it worked out for you and you handled it great!! It takes a lot for people to let go of their ego and pride and admit when they’re wrong. So the fact that you did says a lot about you as a person and all of it good😊

[Cocochoh]

let her know what had happened you didn't like, sorry for the miscommunication, and its not about right or wrong, vulnerability, or any other hot garbage you feed your mind, its about understanding what happen and move on.

[Cleverusername16]

Thanks, I took full responsibility for my actions and miscommunication and let her know why I was feeling the way I did. It's just a position as a man I am not used to being in and I felt kind of weak doing it.

Essentially I put a lot of value into something she did to compensate for a rough week without communicating before hand how important it was, so when it fell through I felt slighted.

She told me that these things happen and I didn't owe her an explanation but she appreciates me doing it anyways... not sure if that is good or bad? What do you think?

[Cocochoh]

the way your mind is program to think to feel and behave a certain ay cause your man, its robotic at best. you're not being human when you have act a certain way cause standard, culture, norms and society.
no matter what your thought process is, communication and respect goes above all else. no matter how you feel or behave.
I think you done right by telling her, and not only that she might say you dont have to, but you bet your ass she was waiting for it.

[Sweepthelegjonny]

Being open with your emotions is the only way to have a healthy relationship. How could that ever come off as weak? Being vulnerable with your parter is one of the bravest things a person can do.

[Cleverusername16]

Yeah, I guess it's just a really uncomfortable position for me to be in. Up until this point, it has been me comforting her so it's weird for the roles to be reversed. On top of that, this was our first argument so it was a lot of added pressure to see how she would respond