What do I do after an argument?

[Anonymous]

Ok so this is a relatively new relationship, and we just had our first bigger fight. background knowledge: my first relationship was a disaster, he was abusive, etc. Current situation. He sent me a tik tok and I deleted the app a few months before meeting him, I redownloaded it and clicked the link to see what he sent me, and it shows the user who sent it to me, aka his user name. Out of curiosity I asked what his user meant. It was something in latin. After requesting to follow him, so he can send the videos there instead of on my messages (it made my phone glitch trying to open the link) he said, "You really gotta stalk every platform I send you sh*t on?" I responded by trying to explain the whole phone crash situation, and that tik tok showed me the user who sent me the video. After that he was ranting about how I am just weird and that he hated how I looked at his IG profile after he followed me (before we started dating). I had looked at his profile that one time. He also sent me something on FB and then I asked again out of cuirosity why his FB was empty, he got all mad saying that I am weird and invasive by looking at his profiles. I explained that I was sorry if it made him uncomfortable but I just looked that once. He then got mad, "You can be mad I am not entitled to my privacy?" Which confused me, because I never said anything about that. We started to argue, me explaining that the only reason I saw who followed him was because on my reccomended list on IG it was showing people who followed him. He said I was stalking his family and trying to be invasive. I didn't see it this way, and am fustrated that he is refusing to discussing what happened. before telling me to shut up he was like, ""No you said it is about your baggage when you brought it up," which I never did. I am super confused and hurt by some other things he said, that I don't have room to explain. He said tomorrow he would, "deal with me" and that I needed to shutit for once. what do i do?

Updates

1 y

Update: He finally said that he wanted to talk about it, and we did, but he was still being defensive and argumentative also saying that, "Do you see a therapist." I was baffled and was like, "Um do you see one?" He was like "Yea i do but that doesent matter.." I am seriously debating breaking things off with him. It is also a long distance relationship, he is in NC and im in IL so close to 11 hours away from eachother... What should I do, should I work through it with him?

Updates

1 y

He also said that he had so much free time while we weren't talking and that he had so much fun without talking to me.

Updates

1 y

I dumped him and am doing better

[D-Pad_Chad]

I'm going to be 💯 with you. If I can't see your socials at all times, granted in my opinion I don't want to be on nor have my girl on any social media site, but if I can't see it I'm assuming it's because your hiding stuff. Blank FB is either a fresh profile or you're blocked from seeing it.

His getting defensive about his socials also is telling. Moreover he should be introducing you to his family, not hiding you, unless he feels ashamed. There are a ton of 🚩 here that I usually see coming from women honestly.

I'd recommend possibly asking why he's so protective of his social media and if your both wanting to be serious, get off all social media. It sounds drastic these days, but social media kills relationships.

[THECONFUSEDGUY99]

Did he mention that he want to take things slowly or something? , that's what i understood

[Asker]

He did not discuss that he wanted to take things slow, and was the one who innitated the relationship.

[THECONFUSEDGUY99]

Girl i'll be sincere with you , i just got out of a relationship because my girlfriend was confusing asff , all that i know if he really is into you he won't be mad , so break up with him wait for a better person who will treat you right without confusing you , cuz who want you won't make things complicated , best of luck !

[Asker]

Thank you for your advice.. I broke up with him and know that I deserve someone better

[NZGirl07]

I honestly think he may not be a good person for you. He seems rather explosive with his anger, and I don't find anything you said to be invasive or too personal. I don't know how he can be demanding privacy from you regarding his social media which he makes public? It is totally normal to look at a partner's social media and ask questions. I'd say he's a red flag.

[Changiis07]

Try to give him space but also try to have another conversation so that he understands where you're coming from. Maybe he is hiding something and is defensive or maybe not. Either way he should respect and try to listen to you

[Guy13]

Pray 🙏 to God