If you found out that someone you’re interested in has been in some open relationships before, would that make you doubt their ability to be faithful?

Question

AllThatSweetJazz · Accepted Answer

Not necessarily their ability to be faithful, but it’s just gross on its own, even if they can be faithful.

humanearth · Accepted Answer

Well yeah, thats a no brainer. Been there done that centuries ago with a ex. Dont need that kind of drama

Account · Answer

No, it would not. It has nothing to do with their ability to stay loyal. Just because they decided that lifestyle at that point of their lives, it doesn't mean they still prefer it. Also, they didn't cheat, they mutually decided that open relationships worked better for them at that point.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

Monogamy used to mean one partner for life and now it means one partner at a time.

Someone who dates back to back is just as much of a 'risk' as someone who dates multiple people at a time. I would think that someone who tried an open relationship and then is switching back to monogamy is perhaps looking for something they couldn't find or achieve from the open relationship.

Also, It is very rare for people to actively seek a poly world/ community as a lifestyle. Usually when people want mortgages and kids, shit gets real and you realize the amount of legal and fiscal risk with 3 or more parties is just crazy.

Bricealan · Answer

I would probably think about it, but not be concerned. I have been with women who were fucking more than one guy, and it was just assumed to be the 'norm' . A woman friend knew I had been fucking two women, or was in the process of that with one in Ohio and one here in CA.
Her comment to me was "I think you should fuck them both, since most of my women friends are fucking several men". She, the woman friend was married and I assume she was fucking others. One morning at 'Brunch", sitting next to me and across from her husband, she put her hand on my thigh under the table.
I like open relationships, because it seems that in today's world, the is the status quo

Miristheiss · Answer

Doubts? No doubts?
I don't know.
I just wouldn't date that person regardless. Being willing to be in an open relationship is a hard deal breaker for me. I personally find it gross and of low character and their values are so different from mine that I couldn't be with her.

Do I doubt they can be faithful? I don't care at that point. They were willing to swim in those foul waters so they'll always stink to me no matter how long ago it was.

Jake99999 · Answer

When you find someone you want to be with, you need to forget about what they did in the past or who they were with in the past.

She was into an open relationship before... ask her, is that something she wants to continue? Don't guess. Maybe she is so happy with you and feels differently about you, and would not want an open lifestyle with you. You should ask her.

If you are not into that lifestyle, let her know, and have a heart-to-heart talk with her about it. It would be a very healthy discussion. If you could never accept that, she needs to know. Honesty on this question is very important - for both of you.

Other than that, don't judge her based on her past - just like you would not want her to judge you for whatever you did in the past.

KrisPW · Answer

I would think a couple would have to be very trusting to do that honestly, so no, I wouldn't think of them as untrustworthy. But we would certainly have to have our own understandings on what is acceptable to us, regardless of what was acceptable in the past with someone else.

PositiveNote · Answer

I think everyone should be allowed to have some "experience" in relationships—whatever kind—to know what it's all about. I would be more confident that a lady would be true to her word if she related her her past accompanied by her lessons learned, so to speak. I've been through a divorce and it's never a good thing for anyone. If knowing more of yourself and what you want out of a relationship is what you get, then all is fair.

slatyb · Answer

I'm not concerned about their ability to be monogamous. I'm interested in their honesty. If they don't want an exclusive relationship and tell me, I may be able to live with that.

genericname85 · Answer

No. Why? I assume she could be in an open relationship, if that was what she wanted. So since it was her, who decided against it, i think it's unlikely that she will betray me.

Yeah maybe she realizes, that isn't for her and dump me... But I have that risk with every girl XD

ArrowheadSW · Answer

It depends how up front they are with what they tell you about the nature of the relationship. I do know a lady who has been in open relationships before, but when in a committed one on one relationship she stays one on one.

jspl90 · Answer

well no seems like they are able to make clear boundaries and limits what they can do and cannot do in a relationship but I would have a clear chat about my needs and boundaries in a relationship

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

No because it’s about trust. there is nothing there that says you cannot trust them.

Hulk30 · Answer

to me it dont matter i dont think men were designed to be faithful and personally i'd be cool with givin women a hall pass if they're romantically interested in me and wanted to get on my team i'd have no insecurities about them stickin their hand in other cookie jars besides mine my only thing with that is dont bring me back anything after ya do whatever with whoever which is cool to me

Andres77 · Answer

If they were in an open relationship before then they have better communication skills than most and expectations would be much more clear, I think. I wouldn't be worried

Tim-loves-it · Answer

I would prefer her to have been in open relationships

exitseven · Answer

As long as they were willing to just be one on one with me I would be okay with it.

Caliguy88 · Answer

I’d worry…. I could never do that… it sounds hot sometimes but I feel if you view sex that casually I’d be nervous.

scooogy · Answer

A girl once told me that she wouldn't want to get married because that would make her think of getting divorced again some day.

Nick473 · Answer

I guess it depends. If was an open relationship that she took seriously than i wouldn't really feel good about it

MM5578 · Answer

If the previous relationship was open, then no. Whatever happened before was agreed upon and accepted.

Dantenera · Answer

Absolutely yes. Open relationship is like his or her way go. He or she becomes addicted and make it a character after that it becomes an attitude.

The_Outlaw · Answer

Yep. I'd no longer be interested in anything further with her. I prefer one on one. No more.

Rob17792 · Answer

i wouldn't trust a person like that as far as i could throw them

Archerer · Answer

No, if anything it would make me trust them more as an open relationship requires much more honest communication

msc545 · Answer

I would definitely have doubts, and also wonder if their judgment was impaired in that they told me.

5667rr · Answer

No because that’s in the past. If u guys aren’t agreeing to both be in a open relationship with each other the other person should respect that.

Charliefretz329 · Answer

Open relationships are based on honesty. Why would an honest person bother me?

es20490446e · Answer

What's their current standard?

misterCage4 · Answer

Yes. I don't believe in "open relationships".

Hillary86 · Answer

Maybe if I met them both and said in front of their partner sure.

PeterCharie1991 · Answer

It would creep into my mind, plus im a jealous guy

DizzyDesii · Answer

Yea i wouldn't date them

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I would have doubts about them for sure

karaspara · Answer

Not if they were honest about it

Iron_Man · Answer

Yeah I wouldn’t like that

ChocoBat · Answer

Aaaaabsolutely, big no.

Slim57 · Answer

No but that would make me lose interest real fast

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

No. It would not.

he-takes-a-part · Answer

At 35 thats doubtful

If you found out that someone you’re interested in has been in some open relationships before, would that make you doubt their ability to be faithful?

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If you found out that someone you’re interested in has been in some open relationships before, would that make you doubt their ability to be faithful?

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