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12 d
Have you ever lost interest in someone simply because you felt like they were "doing too much"?
beebella
Master
14Girl Opinion
31Guy Opinion
- I sometimes get the feeling that someone lost interest in me, because I did too much. Like I was trying too hard, offering alternatives if they don't feel like doing what we were supposed to do on a date, reciprocating small funny gifts from them with different small funny gifts... But it is honestly not me trying too hard. I am actually like that. When my yunger sister needs help with moving, I will drive 250 miles to help her move. Yeah, I will combine it with some vacation in the area and then help her move, but I will do it.
If my coworker/friend tells me: "hey, you understand this stuff and know where to buy it. My husband wants me to go buy him this small and cheap climbing equipment." I am like "Yeah sure, I know wher you can get it and will actually be in the mall today where there is a store with it. I can get it for you, since it is too far away for you" (if it is true, that I will actually be there).
But somehow, caring and being helpful is considered like too much effort.
Most Helpful Guy
Anonymous11 dNot sure what you mean by doing "too much". But I've spent the last couple decades busting my ass stacking paper. I didn't even know till just recently there's a name for it. "F. I. R. E." Financial Independence Retire Early. I've never been a very materialistic person. And most women are. Most women search out the guy with the most swag because she figures he can give that to her. So if my future has a woman in it it'll be with a woman the views the future the same way I do. An early relaxing retirement.I think they meant ādoing too much to gain our attentionā you know? Working too hard at it vs. working too hard!
Most Helpful Girls
- Yeah! Attraction is like a magic formulaā¦ if you donāt put just enough of everything you need into the mixture you, you donāt get the magic you wanted! Regardless of whether you put too much, or too little the result is the sameā¦ No magic! Thatās how it is with attraction. If you get a guy just doing too much, it can be a huge turn-off. Itās like he is just trying too hard. It always makes me wonder why he appears so desperate to gain my affection? Nothing in life smells worse that desperation on a guy who is obviously interested in you. With some guys, it truly is like the desperation is just dripping off them!
Yet look at movies girls idolize growing up. Fairy tale wedding, man goes through great lengths to get her attention, save her, or win her back... But in real life, guy does some sh... like that and he's crazy cops are called and then restraining order... They say and act like its the type of guy they want, but really its not... They appear desperate because you ladies are allowing men to believe that is what you want... dont fight for her love... just dont give damn about it and then shell be so confused why the guy isn't trying to get with her, she start with seeing if she can win his attention now...
@kmg9150 You say āthe types of movies you watch growing up fairytale wedding, man goes through great lengths to get her attention to save her or win her backā¦ā Yes, when we were growing up,! Weāre not 12-14 year-old little girls anymore! We are allowing you men to believe that is what we want? Life is not a movie! We donāt āmake you thinkā anythingā¦ How on earth could we possibly āMAKEā you think anything, especially when we havenāt met yet? Thatās not what we make you think, thatās what you ASSUME! Like I clearly said in my post, āattraction is like a magic formula. You put too much in itās ruined, you put too little and itās ruinedā, how is that on us? How are women responsible for decent guys not knowing how to ask a woman out, or especially how to treat women once we are on the 1st date? All of those āassholes, bad boys, players, and womanizersā know how to treat womenā¦ Thatās how they get to go out with us in the first place! Dress nicely, stand up straight, and look us directly in the eye when you ask us out! If we agree to go out with you, donāt spend the date telling us about all the ābitchesā, āslutsā, and āgolddiggersā that have mistreated you in the pastā¦ Youāre on a date with me, make it about me! Itās not that IāM selfish, it is simply that no woman wants to spend an evening listening to a man whine about how heās been mistreated by all these other women in the past! That doesnāt exactly scream āI am really interested in getting to know you betterā!
@CrazyGirl2 its not just movies from growing up, there's is a great deal within Romance genre that depicts this behavior. "I just want to meet a nice guy for once"... define nice... Like a guy that sees he made a mistake and trying to correct it comes of as trying to hard. You magic relationship cake is more like a complex circuit board of checks and balances with a chance if self destruct of one dont go right... you talk about guys whining about there exs, Well its better than dating some for years and them telling you how happy and in live with you they are only to be completely the opposite in a matter of a few days with no significant event to have caused it... You complaining about immature boys but can you see why they would talk about how women did them wrong... Im 36 and its still occurring, now I could go I into detail about how much the one tried replacing my role as the father of our son, but surely your can grasp why men would feel a certain way to the opposite sex.
Further more, so you dont want a guy that gives a "flying fuck" whether or not the girl he said he's in love with is no longer in his life. Forget and move on, says a lot about about the girl, hell people stand in line for days to get a good deal on a gaming system during black Friday, I guess that speaks a lot on what kind of love women really want,"Oh my god he was going to take a bullet for me, what a loser, he doesn't even care about his own life why should I want to with a guy that has no self worth or respect?" "Yea girl, you can do better". You all say one thing when its another that your want. Then You get that and it changes again. Have stopped on those guys and said look, stop talking about the ex, would you want to hear that from me? Pay attention to whats here now I the present, if not ill end up in the past and no chance I. The future... nah you prolly just went on listening and then ghosted a guy making him think it was a decent date...- Show All Show Less
@kmg9150 LOL š. I did not say even ONE of the things you said I did! āYou sayā¦ā NO, no I actually didnāt! What I said was like a magic formula (ie very difficult to get just right)
Furthermore, I never once sad that I, or anyone else, expects you to āNot give a flying fuck aboutā¦ā. What I said was, we donāt want to spend a first date listening to you whining about other women when you are on a date with us (meaning me specifically in this example). Look, clearly someone has hurt you, like a LOT! Maybe you should spend some time getting over that hurt, before you inflict your vitriol on the next unsuspecting woman! One thing women DO expectā¦ if you are asking us out, you are over your last relationship! I think it is only fair for women to expect that when a guy asks us out, heās not still emotionally entangled with his ex! (Whether they are positive OR negative emotions)! Good luck to you!
- Yup. Happened this week. It was just overkill. Constant texting, constant checking in. I started to feel smothered. If he'd done the same thing, but about half the frequency, it would have been beautiful and very welcome.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!What Girls & Guys Said
1229- Somehow, I have managed to never have that experience, but I have had a few women who were doing too little.1|10|0
- Yes if the woman tries playing mind games with me, tries to play hard to get and doesn't reply within a reasonable time then of course she will be out of my life and there is no reconsideration on this decision.
Doesn't matter if the woman is just an acquaintance, online here on GAG or otherwise. I have no tolerance for this kind of behavior because I never do this with a woman.0|00|0 - I feel like I'm in this exact situation. A guy friend/coworker asked me out and at first, it was nice but he has done TOO much. Buying me a gift and snacks and wanting to be official and saying ILY all in the first week... It's very sweet but it's way too much and too fast. And I even said I wanted to take things slow (since we were friends first).1|00|0
- Possibly... I kinda think I was born in the wrong era... I don't belong in the social media/mobile phone era... I mean what's wrong with not knowing when/how to end a text conversation so just stopping it mid conversation and getting on with my life? I bet Life was much simpler when we relied on carrier pigeon/post/telegrams lol2|00|0
- Show All Show Less
- not at all, you only feel that a person is doing too much if you don't like them. at least for me, the more I like someone, the more I feel happy they do all they can for me. look, I speak personally. I could spend all day with my loved one, and could never get tired of being told how they love me, but depends on the person, okay. not everyone is the same. but look, if a person tells you you're doing too much, they most likely don't love you at all, true lovers love doing everything together. no one should be with a person who makes them feel they are doing too much, it means the feeling is not mutual.0|20|0
- if you lost interest in someone cuz they had done too much, then its a pretty good indicator that you were never really that interested in the beginning2|41|0
- They don't do enough. I find a lot of people don't want to put the effort in because they don't know if the persons worthwhile. But that to me either means they're dating too many people or not carefully dating...1|10|0
- 99% of the time i cut people off. And 99% of the time, it was because they were doing too much
1|00|0 - Yeah, sometimes some people can get way to clingy too fast and it's a real turn off, feels forced and unnatural. Had a couple of those relationships in the past, I like my space and my own time and in very upfront about that too.1|00|0
- Too much means turning attraction in to repulsion.
thatās how I find it, itās a fine line at times.2|10|0 - There has to be a healthy balance in the effort that one gives. Sometimes it's annoying and someone's too needy or clingy but then if they're careless it's not good either it also depends on the person and how much you're attracted to them I think1|00|0
- I lost interest in a girl I was dating cause she simply lost the class-ring my late maternal grandparents bought me and they paid a lot of money for us kids class-rings I want to purchase a replacement and purchase it on payment plans but it's hard1|10|0
- Show All Show Less
- I am a lonely bastard.
If a girl can't take my need for love, then it's a no-go. And If I can't take that girl's need for constant love, then I'm a hypocrite.
So I'll love the person just as much as they love me, which is a lot.0|00|0 - Nope I usually break up if the girl doesn't show enough attention and interest. The more you do for me, the more I'll do for you and I think we'll become closer.1|10|0
- Not really no. If they were that type I wouldn't be attracted to begin with0|00|0
- No, her doing too little made me lose interest though.
Not entirely sure of the context, but if she doesn't have the hobbies and talents I have (gaming, drawing, etc.), I lose interest.1|10|0Yes, when they come across as not too interested, or busy with other things, it signals me that they are not interested.
- I've been on both ends of that dilemma. Someone doing too much, my doing too much.
Now it's just "hey, when we have the time.."1|00|0 - Yeah I have, they were the obsessive and possessive and would watch to see if I looked at other guys... seems needy1|00|0
- Sometimes it does feel like it Miss, it's not their problem but when someone tries too much it looks like forced.1|00|0
- But eh how would that make me... less interested me confused help.1|00|0
- More like I never got interested in the first place cause they were trying too hard1|00|0
Anonymous6 dMaybe cos I have done too much. hahaha0|00|0- It's always awkward when one person is more invested than someone else.0|00|0
- ya if she gets too clingy or canāt just chill out about things 😅1|00|0
- No. But I have when I felt like they were doing too little.1|10|0
- Yes, but really when it's that and you have doubt about something else. Hasn't happened lately though1|00|0
- Anonymous12 dYes, if they're moving too fast, and they are too far away.2|00|0
- that song is like so 2000's1|01|1
- Show All Show Less
- no... my interest is always genuine1|00|0
- Anonymous11 dMost men said no. Because a woman doing too much doesnāt exist. Or rarely0|21|0
I wasn't being sensitive?
The one on Anon whos sick of women because he can't get laid, and telling everyone else to shut up might be though
- I've never been interested in anyone1|10|0
- Nope. No one's been interested that way.1|00|0
- Anonymous2 dno i haven't0|00|0
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