We've talked for a week. Should I move on? MEN, would you bring up cuddling with a girl before going on a first date?

Question

We talk on the phone only. Were about to go on a first date but he caught covid. Should I move on? Men, would you bring up cuddling before a first date, if you talked for a week?

ohshee · Accepted Answer

I'm an empath and I feel people's energy and their emotions and there are certain people that I talk to that I can read very very quickly it's almost as if I know them so how long have you been talking on the phone I mean what's wrong with him saying that that's what I don't understand if it was me and you I probably would have try to get in your pants over the phone if I felt your energy add passion and desire like I said I can feel people's emotions for me wherever you are right now to me right now and to be honest I can feel your energy right now it's kind of funny did I even said that that yeah through your words I think you put up an energy that is very sensual and passionate with desire and I think it'd be very easy to talk to you about stuff like that I think you are either try to experience it by dating him or if you're not that type of girl then move on I guess it's your choice why not experience our explore something that you might not have before it's good to keep growing in different ways

zeitgeist057 · Accepted Answer

Moving on or not is your decision, and different people are going to have different ideas about what is cool or not with the cuddling. For me personally, I can be down to cuddle on the first date, as long as it's consensual and mutual, of course.

It sounds like you are feeling pressured or that this guy is too "fast" for you, so maybe you will find a better match with a "slower" fella. It's all about the right fit, so maybe he's not the right one for you? Or maybe he could be, and this is just something that requires a little more communication, so he knows where you are at and vice vs. So much of a good relationship is about communication and honesty; of course you are going to hear that constantly but that's because it's true.

proNutro · Accepted Answer

I don't know I’m a bit weird with stuff like that. Like I’m the kind of girl that wants to get to know someone before even speaking about that stuff cause I can only feel something for someone or think about them in a certain way once I’ve gotten to know them and if I like what I’ve gotten to know.
I find it sooooo cringe if I don’t know someone wel and they jump to all that stuff🥴 it’s such a major turn off and I struggle to feel anything at that point. Like wth you want me to say? We don’t even know each other. WEIRD. in my opinion.

Imcmullan · Accepted Answer

Lol I don't see anything wrong with him saying he wants to cuddle. However, the res flag is when he asked how long? Bc that leads me to believe he wants the cuddling to lead to more. Is he really asking how long for sex? N how stupid are you to pit a time frame on asking someone how long for someone to get comfortable enough with you for intamcy? Everyone knows you can't put a time frame on things like that... I would give him a chance but be mindful and watch for signs early on.

RawIronhide · Answer

Yeah, it's weird and he did kinda rush you there. Its hard cuz I want to give people the benifit of the doubt. Maybe he was just lacking self awareness in that moment felt vulnerable and that's how it came out.

You did a good job communicating that you're not ready for that yet, but if I were him I'd still think you're interested.

I suppose it depend on how well you know each other and how much you like him. I'd deffinatly count this as a strike, maybe 2, 3 you're out, get what I'm saying?

MCheetah · Answer

If any guy wants to talk about cuddling before the first date, you should probably hold onto him. Many guys would be talking about shagging, at the point. If the chemistry was there, then yes, I'd bring up cuddling. It's not like it's bumping uglies or anything and cuddling is about as innocent of touching as you can get.

Also, it's pretty scummy if you dump him as soon as he got COVID. In all honesty, it sounds like HE is probably too good for YOU. You seem entitled and shallow.

Shiro_Neverland · Answer

Tbh the fact that he wants to cuddle straight up and first time seeing you is definitely a red flag. You'd think they'd want to meet you at an outing or some place to get to know you more instead of being close to your body as a first physical impression you know?

TheorionMage · Answer

It is IMPORTANT that you lay the 'groundwork' to discuss the difference between being 'gropingly pervy' and affectionally 'cuddling'..

ONE is well-received and increasingly consensual; the other is selfishly self-serving sans regards for the 'person-hood' of the object-of-your-desires! BOTH are rooted in human animism~

Interstate · Answer

This guy is moving WAY too fast. He is already rushing you to decide how long it will take for you to feel comfortable with him, and you haven't even been on ONE date yet. Anonymous... I would tell this guy it isn't going to work. He wants everything NOW NOW NOW, and won't even let you go through your paces. Leave this one on the side of the road and move on with life.

HeyHeyLA · Answer

Move on girl! If he's making you feel that uncomfortable before even meeting him then it will be 100 times worse in person. I bet he will try to get out of paying for dinner too and just go straight for an advance. He just sounds way to thirsty. If you do go take some pepper spray with you. Not that it's completely necessary but it would be funny and maybe teach him a lesson lol.

Anon621 · Answer

It's up to you if you want to move on. Me personally I wouldn't move on from someone who couldn't make a date because they got a super infectious disease because I don't think that fair to them since they didn't get a chance but that's just me. Since I'm not looking for a relationship that involves physical touch I would be certain to mention that specifically before the first date because I'm not trying to waste anyone's time

Mango-man · Answer

Alright, I would say it depends what are you looking for in a man.

If a man is looking for long term relationship/marriage, he would first want to get to know you to find out whether you have compatibility and could stay together even after those exciting early dates.

If a man is looking for ONS, he will try to escalate things as quickly as possible.

And he doesn't strike me like a avatar of patience.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

A week into talking and he's trying to cuddle and get the goodies? Call it off and stop leading this dude on. If you're busy you're busy, but don't talk to someone who's trying to link up as early as possible. It looks bad for the both of you when you're having him wait and he's trying to see you. It just doesn't mix well.

Anonymous · Answer

If he has covid and wants to cuddle you should not go cuz you could catch it. But would you stop loving some one just beacuse they have cancer or a mental illness? I would not beacuse thats true love do you really love him? If you can make it work long distance no contact then go for it. If you need to move on. If my man got covid i would still want him it would just make things harder since we would not want each other to catch it.

witness1 · Answer

Give him a chance. I am old school, so online doesn't count at all.

I would bring up everything important. Cuddling seems to be important to him, or at least was at the time of texting. Ask him.

"You mentioned cuddling, is that important to you?"

No judging, direct questions, real interest. That leads to a better understanding, and that's always good.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Depends. Are you a virgin waiting for marriage? A strict religious girl? Something like that? That would be a huge red flag if thats the kind of girl you are. If not, quit being a damn hypocrite and a prude.

I literally had a girl who fucked a dude from a bar right before she met me get upset about my sexually forward behavior. And i just told her to stfu with that nonsense because im not going to play that game.

Unpersuadable · Answer

I do not feel cuddling talk is being to forward. Cuddling IS a bit vague I guess and may mean different things to different folks. Cuddling on the couch, ok. Cuddling on a bed on the first meet up could be riske for decent people.

Cuddle talk should not be a reason to stop communicating unless it makes you less interested in him. (As in you're not the cuddling type)

cloudspy · Answer

Have you seen each other in person before starting to talk, or will this be a blind date?  I would be put off by this too. He comes off as desperate.

Taylah9 · Answer

Yeah thats not a good thing.. fair enough if you'd met a few times and he said that but saying it now is just weird and kind of desperate. I wouldn't even write back to that. You can do better.

lightbulb27 · Answer

no I wouldn't, but were not all the same, could be worse right? you have to learn to communicate with the person, work through stuff, moving on is up to you.

Jlegacy · Answer

Many men would bring up sex, even before date and many women would do the same too. Best thing is to have your own code of conduct before every engagement.

spartan55 · Answer

You gave him the stiff arm! ... he will probably move on without you having to make the big decision.

Honesttguy · Answer

Well social media is just not working for you. Try finding guy in real life instead.

EmbraceThePain · Answer

He got COVID and you want to move on?  So pathetic and weak smh. Unfortunately, there are a lot of women like you.

Anonymous · Answer

When I had to dump a guy I liked, I went online and was kinda desperate but still not looking to hook up. A random cute guy asked to cuddle and I told him we'd only do that. Then he ended up eating me ft out :/ It was a lot of fun tho hehe

Arabella_Rose · Answer

He just wants sex.  trust me, I’m very experienced  Most Guys never want to cuddle , they want sex. He knows that cuddling gets girls in the mood to have sex,

Sam_The_Savage · Answer

Nah I don't wait for girls... There r many girls give bj on first date.  You're type of girls are basically very boring I passed you to other guy if I'm planning to meet u.

misterCage4 · Answer

The fact that he asked how long kind of shows he was serious about it lol. Its kind of weird to do this. And let's be real if if it happens it won't be just cuddling.

Apple1996 · Answer

You are really overthinking this. It's just cuddling, it's not like he said anything sexual.

DonkeyDan · Answer

Yeah sounds like he's just looking for a horizontal hug!  Move on.

genericname85 · Answer

your call. to me, he seems a bit desparate. i mean before you even met, it's not appropriate to want to lie in bet cuddeling with someone. cause you don't even know them at that point. it's weird.

serious · Answer

Before first date? I don't think bringing up cuddling is a good idea before the first date.

m33lad · Answer

I don’t say and ask for nothing. I just do it! If every girl I wanted to finger her a22 on the first date imagine if I would’ve asked. How many no’s I would’ve got!

t-8900 · Answer

I dont like what I'm seeing so far. How old is he? he's acting like a teenager lol

Wise4myage · Answer

Yeah, he’s making it obvious that he’s only after sex.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Wow. So aggressive. Apparently he doesn't understand the concept that physical stuff comes later?

Yaharro · Answer

Covid is not an issue but desperately asking for cuddle even when you having covid is careless shit

xf25x · Answer

Honestly that's kind of a shitty response on his part, kind of looks like all he wants is the physical without actually taking you out on some dates.

Babygirl_S · Answer

He sounds cute and you left him on read after he got covid 🥺

Wester1967 · Answer

If you’re not in to cuddling, the first date will be the last. Probably won’t even go anyway

red324 · Answer

Same situation here. Waiting for this girl to get over covid so I can take her out. Covid is getting bad.

Anonymous · Answer

Oh he caught Covid? That’s a definite red flag right there, he’s obviously an absolute scumbag. 100% move on.

Partaken · Answer

Sounds like a wimp, only thing missing is more lame ass crying emojis after "cuddling" lol

Iron_Man · Answer

You can tell if it’s just a cute statement or if he’s leading up to something else

Joshua0213 · Answer

Bringing up cuddling before even seeing each other? Thats cringe

Anonymous · Answer

Wait--YOU'RE the one who brought up cuddling in that exchange.

cjb5140 · Answer

Way too fast if you haven't even met yet. He needs to chill out and see how things progress before any of that chat.

Open2It · Answer

He either sounds needy and insecure or he's a player trying to say whatever it takes to get you in the sack... IMHO

kirakiraChan · Answer

No way first meet is for knowing each other in real life

the_kisses_of_sun · Answer

Sounds like he just wants sex. If that's what you want then go for it. Otherwise block him.

Smegskull · Answer

Wait... The green text ia the female in this conversation?

Anonymous · Answer

Oh jeez, you better call the police. He might be a serial cuddler. Watch out.

coconuts4516 · Answer

I would. I love to cuddle. I think it's best to be open and honest.

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

He sounds like he’s interested. Do you like him?

SofiSin667 · Answer

He’s just trying to sleep with you

Anonymous · Answer

It’s kinda weird. I’d never bring up anything physical/sexual before a first date

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Truth? Desperation makes my flesh crawl!

Ironic_Method · Answer

I fucking love cuddling. Hell yeah I'd mention it.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

This generation is weird as fuck.

RasberrySlushPuppy · Answer

😂😂😂😂 cringe

Jayplays900 · Answer

I just like to cuddle.

InventorofWarp · Answer

Nope. Move on.

Americanstereo · Answer

If you’re a beta male

jimmy2 · Answer

Lol did you give it to him lol give him a chance

We've talked for a week. Should I move on? MEN, would you bring up cuddling with a girl before going on a first date?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Cuddling on the first date?

We've talked for a week. Should I move on? MEN, would you bring up cuddling with a girl before going on a first date?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Cuddling on the first date?

We're glad to see you liked this post.