Need some advice asap?

[Anonymous]

my boyfriend of nearly two years is very close with my family they all love him however no one in his family knows i exist due to a family reason which involve him having arguments with them. my birthday is coming up and he doesn't even show he cares about it everytime i bring it up it ends up in a heated argument between us. because of lockdown i haven't seen him in nearly 3 months so he keeps saying he will come over to see me on my birthday but because his parents don't allow him out and because they don't know about me i highly doubt they will let him come see me but every time i try to ask and confirm he just ignores it and brushes it off and it just shows he doesn't care because he never mentions my birthday and he says he isn't like that but i feel like its just an excuse because for his birthday i literally planned everything in advance to make sure he was happy. when i try to bring it up that some of my friends have cared more about it then him he just says i guess u matter to them more then. can i get advice on what to do please because this won't leave my mind.

[Siren777]

I think 2 years is long enough to know the reasons why you cannot meet them or them not knowing about you. I understand your suspicions however, you need to talk to him even if this ends in an argument. If this is too much then you should consider if you still want to date. You're young and there is enough time to make a decision. You need to consider that his parents views may be different from yours and that may be causing many problems. He might not want to involve you in his family dynamics. Let him know it hurts you that you dont know the reason.

[Asker]

i know the reason and we've spoken about it several times but he always disregards the way i feel about it and i always put his situation into perspective. the thing is he kept getting my hopes up saying his going to tell them about me and there's been several times where he could have but then he always makes an excuse n i get he has his issues but i have the same as well but its just the fact that he doesn't take how i feel into consideration about it and he always says oh my parents would like you they don't care there understanding but i feel like his embarrassed of me

[Siren777]

Being too accommodating gets you nowhere. If you know the reason, it's easier for you to make a decision. Either you work through this or move on. I'm sorry about it, that you feel that way. As someone who doesn't consider your feelings and hides things from you, is a red flag to me. There may be something else he isn't telling you so it's up to you to make a decision if you want to stick around and let this hinder your relationship or move on.

[Asker]

i try to push past things but i don't know anymore thank you

[Siren777]

I hope you come to a decision that will leave you at peace.

[Wise4myage]

Actions speak louder than words, so give him one last chance on your birthday, and if he does the same thing than get rid of him.

[Wise4myage]

Thanks.

[Sam_The_Savage]

Well let be brutally honest...
You're not his priority. It's just Matter of time he will dump you.

Frame it.

[Asker]

he genuinely has no one else besides me but sometimes i feel like thats the only reason we are still together

[Sam_The_Savage]

Hmm. If you wanna talk than pm me.

[Asker]

it won't let me pm anyone

[Sam_The_Savage]

Follow me I follow you back

[Asker]

okay i followed

[EaterPeter]

Wait till birthday and see. You have already tried couple of times asking. If nothing happens loose him.

[Asker]

fair enough what if he has a proper reason into not coming

[EaterPeter]

The proper reason is to ditch everything and show up

[EaterPeter]

If there is still something you can justify, your choice

[In_Trance]

what do you want to do? What options are you considering?

[Asker]

I dont know what to consider this whole situation stresses me out

[In_Trance]

I think you already know what you want and need to do you just have to come to terms with it

[Asker]

i guess i do i just can’t bring myself too it

[In_Trance]

You will when you're ready

[Iron_Man]

Talk it out if not MoveOn

[Asker]

we always try talking it out and it never goes anywhere

[Iron_Man]

That’s not very fair it’s time to MoveOn

[Asker]

the thing is its so hard to move on because he has that connection w my family and he just made home life so much better

[Iron_Man]

Well then continue on

[tobr83]

Hey you still looking for advice?

[Asker]

yeh i am

[tobr83]

Follow me and I'll pm you

[Asker]

done

[Aressssssss]

😭😭😭😭😭 soryy

[Asker]

why r u saying sorry?

[Aressssssss]

you are upset

[Asker]

fair enough

[tob83]

Hey pm me

[Asker]

it won't let me pm you

[tob83]

Are you Xper 1?

[Asker]

yeh i am

[tob83]

Do you think he will come see you.… honestly?

[Asker]

genuinely no, he says yh i will but there is no certainty behind it n it stresses me out.