Why don't women approach guys more often?

[Anonymous]

Knowing that guys are visual beings, and more men find most females attractive than the other way round, why don't girls use this power and approach the guys they find attractive?

[CallmeTheKnight]

Because most are afraid of rejection and are obvious on how approaching works in their favor. When you approach, you make it known that you're interested and pursuing whatever possibilities you'd like with a man. It just shows that women really don't want to take initiative if they're gonna go home empty handed, which is not always a bad thing.

I've approached plenty of women over the years and where we go after the approach depends on the compatibility and availability. You have more control of your date life if you approach or shoot your shot. Not by waiting on the sidelines and being "Friends" with a person, hoping to find the right time to confess your feelings when you've already lose by being in the so called "friend zone".

Shoot your shot ladies and don't be afraid of getting rejected or coming across a man that's full of crap. We men that are actively dating and approaching women, deal with this on the regular basis. You get social experience and improve your social skills.

[VanillaSalt]

Because women are weak emotionally… surviving hardship isn’t the same as thriving in it… women survive many emotional hardships but they never seem to thrive in it. For instance… all these women posting “where have all the men gone” and crying about not being approached. They complain to society to fix the things they don’t like where as men, because it’s not only expected but our only real choice, have to “man up” and face harsh truths.


Therefore men have to put themselves out there because women don’t want to. It’s the double standards of the meek… women are both physically and mentally the weaker gender. Although there’s argument that showing emotion if healthy and allows a person to be stronger for longer but in terms of handling great mental turmoil like rejection -.- men are just better. Besides in nearly every species men are sacrificial for the betterment of women and the species anyway. Hell many insects eat the male like spiders and mantis.

[VanillaSalt]

Better question… why do you care? If your single let me tell you what you do… get a hobby… visit family… make friends… throw yourself into your job and making money…and if ya really wanna be involved with women… ask one out… aim high find the cutie and get rejected… go home cry like a bitch and go to work the next day… after work do it again get rejected again go home cry… rinse and repeat… do it until rejection don’t make you cry and do it more until it do t hurt… congratulations… you’ve risen above the ONLY power women have over you… the ability to emasculate you. You might even get lucky and get laid… you might find a good woman… dear god don’t be like all the other men and simp for the first hoe that says yes… if you find her lacking move on as she will do the same to you.

[jennifer_bloom]

I used to approach guys and sometimes I still do but the thing that stopped me is I realized you don’t know who somebody is until your close to them and how attractive or unattractive somebody is on first impression usually says very little about how good or bad they would be as a boyfriend or partner, and the best way I know of reading a guys character is to let him come to me as opposed to me chasing him down, otherwise, you might spend years chasing somebody only to learn you don’t like them at all.

[grace9876]

yet you expect men to approach you as everything you just said can be applied to men too

[KevnHanma]

Only dicksuckers chase

[Jamie05rhs]

@jennifer_bloom I get what you're saying. However, you don't need to jump into a relationship with them. The approach is just to have a conversation.

[Jamie05rhs]

Ignore Kevin.

[Pyrofox]

@KevnHanma More like STD addicts chase >.>

[magiusX26]

ty and well said grace

[dustybiker]

I always did. If I liked someone I learned early on to do something about it.. at least ask Q’s. Don’t miss a good opportunity you will alway regret. Why wait for them to make the first move? If they are clueless and don’t see you like them you could end up waiting forever.

[Pyrofox]

I think its cause women finally realizing how effing hard it is to ask out the other sex and are finally becoming humbled how traditional relationships are.

YET the majority of women still are out here demanding their freedoms ignorant to the fact that the real guys who want WIFE material girlfriends don't want girls with high body counts. Which is the major irony when women demand to be allowed to date and or have sex with as many guys as they want is they eventually just end up unable to keep a relationship and earn a reputation as "used" goods. The latter of this statement is like double whammy when a single mother ignorantly thinking for herself and not the massive amount of trauma she is about to send her kid through.

[Anonymous]

I once approached a guy, and told him I was interested and wanted to get to know him better before I decide if he is boyfriend material. He proceeded to lie, and made me hear what I wanted to hear in order to get sex, only for me to discover I'm not actually attracted to who he is as a man.

Women should only make a move if they're friends with a guy and have observed him in social situations to gauge what kinda man he is.

[magiusX26]

how do you think you make new friends though? dont approach as for dating, approach as if just making a new friend. give that time and gauge a man's character, worth, personality, etc, then if he's still looking good etc, ask him out. also makes for a more romantic story for later in life.

[Woke51]

Everybody should make a move only on people they are acquainted with. It makes sense because you know them at least a little bit, and it's easy to find out whether they are taken or not, so you don't look like a fool asking them out.

[Anonymous]

Been there done that and it's never quite worked in my favor so I decided to just choose from whoever approaches me. It's not the best way but I don't want to go through the nonsense of approaching again. I don't want to settle but I'm tired of being single.

Here's been my experience with approaching over the years:
-guy completely ignores me
-guy seems anxious, bored or annoyed
-guy seems interested but doesn't make a move
-guy takes my number or gives me his but doesn't reach out nor respond to me reaching out
-guy and me text for weeks only for me to find out that he's taken

[stupidgirlllll123]

Fear of rejection maybe? That's why I don't do it anymore. I did it a few times when I was 13, and I even asked my friends to go tell my crushes about it. They didn't really care, which is fine but, I kinda became a school joke because then everybody knew about it. And now things are really awkward when I see my old crushes.

[Jamie05rhs]

I'm sorry that happened to you. But people your age like to tease a lot; that's just how they are. Don't let it get to you.

[stupidgirlllll123]

@Jamie05rhs It's fine, at least I learned my lesson.

[Jamie05rhs]

Aww 🙁

[Trish1661]

I guess in my opinion is because girls like me get hurt from guys. They could be the nicest but literally …. they sometimes manipulate us girls causing us drama in our life so that happened to me several times in over my high school life. But believe it or not it’s true. But I hope this helps as am hoping my advise helps if u need to ask more questions go for it.

[Toldol2]

Because when it comes to you guys unfortunately we never know what s to found out. A majority of us women have already been assaulted by a man at least once or we know someone who did and mostly for no reason. We welcome you but we don’t jump in a potential trap

[Anonymous]

Speculating about why is useless because it won't change the world or make your situation better. Focus on things you can change and what you can do to achieve success. Don't worry about why the world is how it is, worry about what you can do to achieve your goals

[Asker]

Can you not just answer the question? This wasn't asked because I'm not happy with myself. I asked because I'm genuinely curious.

[Asker]

In other words you're useless.

[Asker]

*ignore the second comment. Was meant for someone else

[Anonymous]

Not all women are confident enough. Some of us are just as shy and scared of rejection as men are. We're not all 10s.
I wish I had the courage to approach more often but years of bullying, poor body image and low self esteem left me feeling undesirable both physically and as a person. I know it's mostly in my head but it's hard to break free from these thoughts.

[VikingWarLord]

Go to other countries like Philippines or Thailand or anywhere in SE Asia.

The women pursue men even harder than men do them! You live in the West where there are too many beta males and white knight simps who praise and worship the ground of even AVERAGE females, so it's gotten to these women's heads. Now we have 4s, 5s and 6s walking around like 9s and 10s. Go overseas and it's opposite!

[MountAverage]

Because they don't need to. Isn't that obvious? Also, there's still a lot of bad stigma around women approaching men.
That being said, more and more women are starting to initiate more. If I compare today's dating world with the dating world of, say, 10-15 years ago, a lot has changed in that regard.

[nella965]

because hot girls don't have to settle for average looking joes while they can score hot guys. what makes you think the hot girl that you're checking out, has to settle for you? she has plenty of guys checking her out, from the ugly to hot ones.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

1. He never said he was talking about super model level girls
2. There is no reason for super hot girls to not make a move on super hot guys

[nella965]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8

i mean, don't you have to be reasonably attractive to be checked out? if you're checking her out, she's probably hot to a certain extent. And chances are she also has other guys checking her out too. So you're really not the only one.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

Sure, there is a difference between average attractive girl and a super model.
Either way I don't think any guy is looking at a girl and expecting her to make a move. We know that is very rare.
Rare, but it shouldn't be. If a girl sees a guys she finds hit, why not make a move? Why wait for him to do so? Chances are the lots of guys making a move on her are not her taste. Why not go from what she wants?

[nella965]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8

here's the way it works. there's a good chance an average looking guy won't be checking out an average looking girl. The average looking guy usually would be checking out a girl that is more attractive than him. An ugly guy would be more likely to check out an average looking girl than an average guy. Average won't be checking out average.

[nella965]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8

a hot guy definitely wouldn't care to check out an average looking girl. hot guys would be checking out equally as hot girls or even hotter.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

"chance an average looking guy won't be checking out an average looking girl."
You would be surprised...

[nella965]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8

it may happen at times. but its not the rule. People tend to hit on those who are typically on a higher level of physical attractiveness. THis is from my experience.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

Well, if the person getting hit on finds them charming and decently attractive that is not a bad thing.

[nella965]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8

From my experience, people are always trying to hit on someone a bit more attractive than them.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

Have been approached by many guys you consider ugly?

[nella965]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8

for me, i've had only a few ugly guys check me out in the past, but none of them ever had the guts to smile, hit on or approach me. Currently only creeps or old guys check me out or catcall at me. Usually mostly black guys tend to find me very attractive. Many of them develop crushes on me but i am not attracted to them. Currently this old 55 yr old hispanic man who is a pervert finds me very attractive and wants to sleep with me but I really don't find old guys attractive. On a rare occasion, I would find a guy tell me that I'm pretty but its rare. And whenever it does happen, its usually online or through text.

Average looking guys never ever hit on me. They don't tend to notice me.
I get told that I am average looking. Some guys call me pretty. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

A girl that you think is average, might be gorgeous to someone else.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

I didn't not understand why old men hit in girls half their age. I get that they find them attractive, but they should be more self aware.

If those are your current experiences I see why you think guys always aim higher. If I had to guess I would say you look better than what you think and just intimidate the guys that look but don't approach.

I completely agree that beauty is subjective. Another reason why everyone should try their luck. You never know.
Of course they should still have common sense! A 55 year old going for a 27 year old... come on!

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

That is a thing on this site! Many guys actually believe their dating market value will be bigger in their forties then in their twenties.

[nella965]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8

from my experience, old guys tend to never be interested in young women romantically. 90% of the time, they are just interested in her looks and body. These old guys secretly are aware that they likely will have absolutely nothing in common with a woman that is 20-30 years younger.

And secondly, most men on GAG don't have dating lives at all. GAG is filled with bitter guys who cannot get any women in real life so they come on here to shit on the entire female gender. Only men without dating lives would believe that men get more attractive as they approach 59.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

Of course they are. But they don't care. They think with their dicks and not with their heads. The lack of common sense and self awareness is ridiculous.

As a fellow guy I am embarrassed by their behavior and beliefs. It's like a revenge fantasy. "They reject me now, but they will want me later. At that time I will reject them and go for younger ones!" This is a science fiction novel.

[nella965]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8

There is a saying a "40 yr old man who only dates 18 yr old girls, will only dump you by the time you are 25, for another 18 yr old girl." These men are simply not worth your time.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

Not just that. My wife's sister is 18. She is very mature for her age, but still when I talk with her there is a clear difference in maturity. I can't imagine how guys even older than me have to talk about with them and have a real relationship.

[nella965]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8

Its good she's mature but it would still be difficult for a 40 yr old to relate to someone with such a lack of understanding about the real world. 18 yr olds don't tend to know anything and need things to be explained to them. They would also lack the life experience to understand or relate to anything the older party is saying.

And quite honestly most 18 yr old girls are not interested in much older guys. The average 18 yr old girl is dating guys anywhere from 18-25.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

More than having things explained to them they need to live and have their own experience. Learn on their own.

It's good to see someone that has common sense around here. I mean you are not the first girl that I find here who does, but still.

[nella965]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8

one of the most important things for most people when they are looking for someone to marry is , the ability to grow old with that person. You can't grow old with someone who is already old. Marrying someone 12+ years older will only lead to life stage incompatibility as they get older.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

It's already bad when close age couples sometimes die 10 years apart. Imagine on that case. So many decades without your loved one.

[nella965]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8

often times, the enjoyment decreases significantly for the younger spouse. For example, if the is only 40 and her husband is 60. They might not be sexually compatible anymore. She might still be full of energy riding motorcycles while her much older husband wouldn't even be able to keep up with her at a walk in the park. So they start doing things separately. And if the husband is retired before the kids even began college, she would be the only person left to pay for the children's college tuition.
By the time she hits 50, she would be busy changing her elderly husband's diapers and making sure he's taken his medication while the other women around her age would be traveling and going on vacations with their husbands.

Large age gap marriages will always come back to bite you in the ass in the long run. Sure you can stay in a marriage like that, but how much would you be enjoying it?

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

Did you know that it also have higher changes of divorce? It grows exponentially! Lest say your partner has 20 of difference from you, your chances of divorce increase over 30%.

Also statistically women prefer older men... until they are 39. After that age most women find young men more attractive then men their age and older.

[nella965]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8

Not to mention spending the remaining 20-30 years of your life dying alone after your spouse has passed away. This is a lot of trouble that you'd have to go through just to stay married to someone. And often times, most of these marriages do not tend to survive.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

And then those men are very surprised when they leave them. Of course she did! You need a walking stick while she still wants an active life!

[nella965]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8

I think you're the one of the very few guys on here that are sane. Everything you're saying is absolutely true.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

I don't think it's the first time we met around here. We both got in a discussion about this in a random post some time ago. But I think it was in my other account.

[Djaay]

Are both of u two still in high school? Both of you are completely wrong concerning society in general.

[nella965]

@Djaay

Only on GAG, do men look better as they approach 60. In the real world, nobody would agree with you.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@Djaay we are both aware that it's not the 1970 anymore. Simple as that.

[Djaay]

Both of you missed the point !

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@Djaay you said that we are wrong about society in general. Thats a clear point you are trying to make. But tell me which part of what we said do you disagree with?

[MCheetah]

Because they're all either feminists or gay (aka "bi") now. There are no more straight or romantic women left. Also, because many women are cowardly and why would they do extra work if they don't have to?

[doopayo]

Cause women get made fun of for doing that. I asked out my first boyfriend and this girl in class basically said that was weird and boys are the ones that should be asking girls out so now I’m probably never going to do that again

[AllThatSweetJazz]

Guys get made fun of too, everyone needs to
Get over it at some point.

[doopayo]

I’ve never seen that happen

[Anonymous]

Well you can see from their responses that most of them are weak people and/or entitled.


Girls that want to do it, but get nervous are respectable. But the more a girl’s reasons differ from that the more unattractive they get, and fast. Girls that refuse to approach are just less respectable women.

[Anonymous]

Simply put: Why should they?
They got used to getting attention and approached by 100 fuckboys so that they don't need to do the approaching.
Still it's not a good thing that it is the way it is but nevertheless the point is when they get things handed to them, they're not going to go and get said things. They don't need to ask.

It will be interesting however to see the day, where women outnumber men by twice as much. Maybe we'll see a much better shift in the dynamics of dating.

[DizzyDesii]

Its easier to approach a guy whos shy or a lonewolf. If he's some hot jock who has all the girls feening over him, im not going to even waste my time

[Ms_Vanderquack]

Do you often spend your time doing unnecessary and pointless activities?

[Asker]

I don't understand what you're getting at

[Ms_Vanderquack]

Clearly

[Asker]

This is the part where you elaborate...

[Ms_Vanderquack]

No, this is the part where you want me to elaborate but I amuse myself by neglecting to do so.

[Asker]

In other words you're useless

[Ms_Vanderquack]

Lol, coming from a 30-35 year old guy who still doesn’t understand how to date that really doesn’t mean much.

[grace9876]

by the sounds of it you do not know how to date too lol as it is the 21st century men and women should be equal so why do you still expext men to approach you?

[Ms_Vanderquack]

@grace9876 Lol, who said I have any such expectations?

[DonkeyDan]

I don't know, I guess some are also shy like some guys, or they don't think it's their place and the guy should do the chasing. Either way it would be easier sometimes if they did approach guys more.

[Ninani]

I get approached by too many guys as it is, but I would approach a guy I find interesting enough. Won't approach just anyone, there's no point in that.

[TrueConfection]

I never did because (aside from being too shy), I would worry about giving the wedding impression. It seems like most guys think women who approach are slutty or desperate.