As women, is the best we can hope for is a friends with benefits situation ship?

[Justneedtokno]

Over my 27 years honors. He seems like the best relationships are friends with benefits relationships and the ones who accidentally have children and end up being together.

So should we even push for the real thing anymore or stick to what we know.

Also why do guys get upset when you don’t wanna have sex while dating. But then later on and call her a ho a slut and she has a high body count if she did?

[btbc92]

Or you can be celibate like me who never dated or had to deal with that stuff. I don't settle for less. So if you don't want to date a man who doesn't respect your desires, don't. If you are being called all kinds of names, remember they cannot judge you because they have done it themselves. If a woman is a hoe, so is a man. Whoredomes referees to men and women. And if they chase after "whores", get it, what are they? whoremongers. What you have to be concerned about is being Judged for the things YOU'VE did. We all have to answer for our sins if we don't repent at the end of this life, so it is not a joke. You only push for the real thing when you KNOW you GOT the real thing. And stick to your morals.

[Justneedtokno]

Wait I don’t want to not date at all

[btbc92]

Then you need to stop complaining then because everything is a risk. Either you're going to gamble or not. As I said, I have never done those things and wouldn't settle for less. It is you who do that don't realize this error. You don't have to worry about what others do if you're not participating in it. I'm not telling to not date. I am telling you that unless you want to be ceibate. DATE SMARTER. And WISER.

[Justneedtokno]

See that’s the problem even when you think that you’re dating up or doing better and then it up being the same shit so I’m not complaining but somehow I chose wrong again. I knew the risk but I’m still a woman I still have feelings and yeah they got hurt. So don’t tell me that

[btbc92]

It's not about dating UP. It's about figuring out WHY do you DESIRE to date? Until you understand yourself, you won't know who to pick. It is always hard. But if you're making it harder, then you are just as responsible. You have to get yourself in order inside first. Because something inside is attracting those kinds of people. And you got to figure that out.

[btbc92]

Because what you have is a PATTERN. And something is stirring up that pattern. And you sound like you got many patterns your doing you are not aware of. One of them I bet is dating men you hardly know or are complete strangers. Men, you are not even compatible with, but probably found attractive and you based your criteria on dating a man by how he looks and makes you feel. I bet you that is the top main problem. The rest, either not knowing what you want or need to do, or are you in this for the right reasons. The other portion is probably not knowing yourself. Do you know how I know? I told my friend the same thing. The same patterns, the same problems for over 10 years. I see a lot of my friend in you. Meaning, I see the same patterns. And you desire, and you want, you crave a man, but don't know where to look or who to go for. You have your physical preferences and standards but they tend to not last long. You especially get emotionally drained and hurt and can't seem but to attract other emotionally draining and emotionally abusive and psychologically abusive guys. Tell me I am lying.

[btbc92]

I do understand as a single person and virgin who never dated that pain. I know way more than you think. I feel as if I dated for eons even though I never did, that is how much hell a lot of men I attracted put me through. And I never asked for it, that is the crazy part. I never pursued a man, begged for one, asked for one, heck, I didn't care about all of that stuff. I ain't guy crazy. But many of you desire and want that. And while I can never for the life of me understand what is the point of it or purpose for myself. I do understand as another woman that you desire that closeness with a man with who shares that life and love with. I do understand because I would like that myself if I truly wanted that. But I got told how I don't deserve anything good, yet I never cheated on a man, or experienced one, or did any of what I have been falsely accused of. Yet I ask why. I never led a man on. And neither have I purposely done so. I never attempted to use a man. I have never done anything to warrant mistreatment yet I do. I just never wanted to deal with that drama, that is unhealthy and so unnecessary. And calling it normal when it isn't. You must learn what that purpose is for your life. YOU CANNOT jump into a relationship with a man and you don't even know what the purpose is nor the intent and whether or not you have a future. A man is not secretive with that. At least a man shouldn't be. Now I cannot tell you experienced people what to do. You know more than I do. Or at least supposedly. I don't know. But, if your that stuck, it means your either not doing something right or your missing something, or both.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

No that's not true.. And any man that makes you think that it believe that isn't worthy of your time. Don't let people convince you you have to accept their ways, if that's not who you really are what you really want, you'll never really be happy that way. It's better to be alone then in a relationship that's not what you really want in life.. Guys into that friends with benefits are just guys that don't want to put effort into a relationship but still want sex. . I still don't get why it's called a friend with benefits cuz they're hardly "real" friends if they're just in it for the sex🤷

[molonski2]

Friends with benefits is a great scenario in the correct situation , everything does not have to be deadly serious , and there is a connection there. The only time it doesn't work is if one party wants more and the other doesn't..
Not dissimilar to other various scenarios :)

[Lionman95]

No there´s still hope for a relationship but it´s take time and probably a different place to look for a relationship.

[tatianamay]

Guys who want the friends with benefits type relationships are the ones who want the perks of being a boyfriend without actually having to commit. They basically just want sex and nothing more. They're the ones you should be careful not to catch feelings for. If friends with benefits is not your cup of tea and he's forcing you, or guilting you into having sex with him, then dump him and move on. You do you. You should live your life, and not get influenced by others

[Savage_Wisdom]

I've never had a "friends with benefits". If a woman suggested that to me, I'd dump her. I refuse to waste my time with a woman who's not committed.

[Justneedtokno]

What if there’s a person that wants to commit but you don’t want to commit. It’s the same thing

[Savage_Wisdom]

I've reached that age where I'm done playing around. I date to find my future wife, not my next one night stand.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Savage_Wisdom. Marriage? Buddy do some research before you put a loaded gun to your head.

[Savage_Wisdom]

I'm bored of ultimately meaningless "fuck and dumps". Now I want something more substantial. I want a woman to spend the rest of my life with, not one to just warm my bed for the night. At a certain point in your life you realize that you want more than an endless stream of faceless people taking up space in the bed beside you in what is just empty and unsatisfying sex. Sure, it's fun in the moment, but it's a hollow relationship that is literally only skin deep. I want more.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Savage_Wisdom. Your odds of finding that fairy tail are about 5 - 10% and you won't know until AFTER you are married and trapped. This is the worst kind of odds and a risk you would never take in any other part of your life.

[Savage_Wisdom]

I'd rather take that chance, than end up all alone and depressed because I never tried.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Savage_Wisdom. You say that. The divorce courts drive more men to suicide than combat.

[KrakenAttackin]

And no one cares.

[Savage_Wisdom]

If you don't want to get married, fine, don't, no one's holding a gun to your head. But I know what I want, and what I want more than anything is to be a husband and father.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Savage_Wisdom. I have been married 18 years, divorced, and I am a Dad. I am trying to stop you from repeating a horrible mistake I made.

[Justneedtokno]

👏👏👏

[Savage_Wisdom]

@KrakenAttackin so you feel so bad about the shitty turn your life took, that you have to try to destroy anyone elses chance at happiness? I refuse to give up on my chance at happiness just because it might go bad. I'd rather try and fail, that never have tried at all.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Savage_Wisdom. Hey bro, you do you. I am trying to warn a brother not to jump into shark infested waters.

At the end of the day it's a free country. Remember this chat.

[Justneedtokno]

Cue the romcom music

[KrakenAttackin]

@Justneedtokno. I was thinking Metallica.

[Justneedtokno]

@KrakenAttackin you know I’m not on your side on this one right. Not everything goes to divorce not everything goes to broken hearts and bad things sometimes it actually works out. And sometimes it doesn’t but if it doesn’t it’s amicable as possible

[KrakenAttackin]

@Justneedtokno. Perhaps but the risk is just too high for men.

[Justneedtokno]

@KrakenAttackin stop acting like y’all are victims. When you create half of the shit too.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Justneedtokno. You have the full power of government behind you and most women are not afraid to use it.

[Justneedtokno]

@KrakenAttackin Nobody’s looking for a welfare check

[KrakenAttackin]

@Justneedtokno. The hell they are not. This is a different discussion but do have the foggiest idea how much in resources is transferred from men to women at the point of a government gun?

[Justneedtokno]

@KrakenAttackin Aw you don’t take in to account there are prideful women that does it on there own. So may struggle a bit. But make it have. It’s sad you don’t know by a Lot of women like that. Weak.

[TheSpaceGnome]

People today make it too confusing. There are only really 3 options:
1. Stay single.
2. Have a normal commited relationship.
3. Completely ruin your life and end up a permenently single parent or std factory by having non commital/casual sexual relationships.

[KrakenAttackin]

@TheSpaceGnome or 4) "It's complicated".

[Justneedtokno]

5) settle and eventually you’ll fall in love with that person

[KrakenAttackin]

@Justneedtokno. Or, more likely, hate them with a passion.

[Justneedtokno]

@KrakenAttackin why would I hate them they decided to love me despite me not returning the feelings right away. Isn’t that what happens in a lot of arrange marriages

[KrakenAttackin]

@Justneedtokno. Resentment sets in and the belief that you "could have done better". Especially when you compare your relationship to all the bullshit social media posts of perfection other post.

[Justneedtokno]

@KrakenAttackin But you don’t know that in the future I know a few arrange marriages they were just appreciate it that they took them of course it wasn’t the love of their life until later but it worked out and then I guess guess

[TheSpaceGnome]

4 is a myth people tell to not admit it's 3.
5 never works.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Justneedtokno. Arranged marriages are probably the best kind.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@KrakenAttackin I would hate an arranged marriage, I'm picky, I wanna choose who I marry.

[KrakenAttackin]

@TheSpaceGnome. "picky" is a cunty womans word.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@KrakenAttackin Nah, it's a smart person's word. All non picky relationship choices result in seperation.

[Justneedtokno]

Wait you guys wouldn’t trust you family to choose for you

[KrakenAttackin]

@Justneedtokno. Well, it seems marrying for "love" is a farce, so perhaps for expediency makes more sense.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Fuck no lol, my family are the last people I would want picking for me.

As for love, thats the only reason to marry, but I'm not going to love someone unless I get along with them as best friends, so shared hobbies, interests, views, habits etc. are needed.

My family is far too boring and polar opposite to me to understand me well enough to pick a girl who is just like me mentally, let alone one I also find physically attractive AND doesn't want kids.

Also, aside from my mom (who is still my polar opposite), I don't even talk to the rest of my family.

I'm definitely not a family oriented person.

[Anonymous]

"If you keep being the same person you've always been, you gon keep getting what you've always got"

Change your identity and attitude and you will receive a new life

https://www.youtube.com/embed/JzlSa-TsHcw

[Tstrbrainer]

I'm sure many guys, not all though , would be happy with friends with benefits, but don't expect that they will fall in love with you eventually or be with you if you guys end up having kids.

If you enter into friends with benefits, just don't get your hopes high about it becoming serious

[simonqq]

Majority of the girls I know are in long term relationships. In online dating I'm sure it's more difficult to find something serious but not impossible either.

[Justneedtokno]

I’m too old school for online dating. I don’t fit in with this new world

[simonqq]

Never said online dating is a good thing. Better to find a partner in other ways. Also don't say things like that, alienating yourself. Don't give up.

[BlackBeauty90]

ROFL. Sluts & women with little to no standards settle for friends with benefits.

Real women want & get more they don't waste their time with trashy relationships.

[spartan55]

If you think all you are worth is a sleazy friends with benefits arrangement then you have very low self worth.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Justneedtokno I hate to say it, but I agree with him, hon.

[Browneye57]

Why do you keep asking the same stupid question over and over. Reported for duplicate.
Go for what YOU want. Quit whining about what stranger guys are doing. It's pointless.

[Justneedtokno]

It’s technically not. No one is complaining. I just asking a question. If guys don’t want a relationship nor a marriage. Then the only thing left is a friend with benefits and a unplanned pregnancy. Then you won’t have to worry about who gets the kid if y’all went together in the first place.

[Browneye57]

Decide what YOU want for YOUR life and make THAT happen. All this fussing and whining is just silly, and a blame game. You're trying to be a victim here - you're just not.

[Justneedtokno]

I never said I was. I was see why the best option was in y’all’s opinion in the new day and age.

[Browneye57]

No, you're trying to claim that you're some kind of victim. Quit it. Go for what YOU want and quit worrying about what everybody else is doing or what they want. YOU get to decide for yourself.

[Justneedtokno]

I think you have it all wrong I’m not claiming to be a victim. I’m just learning about the dating world and society that we live in so I’m trying to see if there’s even help for things like that in this new world.

[Jamie05rhs]

Couples who have accidental pregnancies and and up being together are very, very rare.

[Jamie05rhs]

"Also why do guys get upset when you don’t wanna have sex while dating. But then later on and call her a ho a slut and she has a high body count if she did?". Because they're hypocrites.

[Twalli]

We want to have sex with the person we're dating, but we don't want to date someone who has dated a lot of people in the past, especially if she's having sex with those she's dating

[Justneedtokno]

Yeah but how is that possible today at a lot of guys to figure out what we like if you’re always getting upset about the number of persons that we’ve dated. May have not had sex with them

[Evan97]

Yeah, there are still guys out there that want some real... But, I understand that there's far too many that don't

[ThatNoUVAtYourEyes]

Not at all,
I just find being friends _as well_ a much more genuine foundation than pretending fucking with a ring/property contract and childbirth is better than friendship as the basis.

[bamesjond0069]

Guys will wait for a virgin. Not for a ho. But guys also dont want to marry a ho. So yeah if you start sleeping around you basically fuck yourself forever. Sorry but facts.

[krin_m]

I think it depends on each individual situation TBH.

[ChiPaPa]

Nope. All I ever wanted was a relationship. Not friends with benefits.

[Wiredone]

I've never had a friends with benefits relationship.

[Gwenhwyfar]

No. You’ll find a guy who likes you for real.

[Anonymous]

Nope, I am looking for someone to marry not some friends with benefits thing.

[VikingWarLord]

Most b1tches your age are on ONLYFANS

[Justneedtokno]

Watch it now and I’m not on only fans dummy