Years ago I lived in a area with lots of single women. I also was involved with acting so I came across several. I was younger so that obviously that factored in heavily. But I was really just scrapping by. But it was so much easier to get dates, sex and potential relationships back then. However I didn’t see a solid future in it. I had to make changes to be steady financially (bought a house five years ago). I know make 6 figures. Back then I thought women would see I have my shit together and it make me attractive. Instead I now come off as “boring” to them.
My current job (which is remote), the area I live and my hobbies (jiu jitsu) has very limited single females. I use dating apps but it’s the match rate and quality has steadily declined in the last 5 years. There are times I will swipe 300 women on bumble and I will get no one. If I do get a date I feel like women can sense some desperation no matter how chill I try to act.
Do I seriously have to radically change my lifestyle (quit jiu jitsu to do frisbee golf or something) just to find a decent woman? I’m not chasing hot 19 year olds by the way. Most of the women I approach or swipe are in their late 20s to mid 30s. I know it’s a numbers game but I feel like the odds are insurmountable.
You should first give up completely. Assume all matches are scam artists. Treat it like a joke almost.
This gives you the I don’t give AF mindset which is critical.
Get professional-like pics done. Get some nice clothes. Have your friends take photos. Limit selfies. Have a couple of 3 day beard pics. Maybe a gym or dojo pic. Maybe a cigarettes and whisky pic. High quality pics and well dressed is critical.
And you should quit jj martial arts because the only women you’ll meet there will be masculine. Switch to salsa dancing. Which is more social and hella fun. This will help you learn Spanish which opens up all of Central and South America which will change your paradigm and outlook completely.
Go on ALL the apps. Bumble, Hinge, Plenty of Fish. Boo, OK Cupid, Badoo. Go on BdSM apps like Feeld and list straight dominant male seeks straight submissive female. Forget all the kink. You’ll still match. And set up a regime to go in each one and swipe. All you’re doing is filling databases with your info. As you said. Numbers game.
Also. Be careful for scammers. Run all match photos through reverse image lookup on google. About 1/2 the matches I get are fake profiles. I talked with what I thought was a hot chick for two weeks. Turned out to be a fake profile with pics of Lana Rhodes and I didn’t even know who Lana Rhodes was.
Also be careful cuz you will get asked for money. Never ever send money. I even set up a date with a woman, she even chatted with me Saturday night the weekend before at 2 am. I thought wow I’m in. Then the day before the date she sent cashapp info and said her fee was $150. Block delete.
Also watch the language. I’ve been hit up by foreign dudes pretending to be girls and using google translate. So If the English looks weird or bizarre, “I’ll betting you can’t wait for the coming of me to you “
Then take the hint and block delete.
Be patient. It will take time to play out.
If the first question she asks is “why are you on Tinder (or whatever).” Don’t even waste another moment. Block her.
Never take dating advice from women.