What has changed within American women that have caused men to be less inclined to marry, approach face to face, and more?
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I think it´s not only women that have changed but guys alltogether. Back in the days of our grandparents people dated for marriage and married to build a family and secure their future. Nowadays because women and men working that has changed and people date mostly for pleasure.
Men and women alike look more of their own pleasure than actually being vulnerable to give away some of their independence. Dating nowadays is filled with a lot of entitlement and high physical standards.
Social media and the invention of the internet has generally enforced because before it was always that only guys are the visual ones and women put a higher emphasizes on the body communication and the guy´s physical abilities.
I think the main problem why guys are less likely to approach lies in the guys hormone system. I heard in a podcast the other day that the testosterone of guys has been sinking since the 1980s by 1%, at first sight doesn´t look much but if you do the math that means that´s least over 32% in comparison to back then which is a lot.
I can´t remember why but that´s one of the best explanations I´ve heard so far why guys are less likely to approach a woman. I think women are reacting to that since many guys have become passive. They´re sitting in front of a computer, watching porn, playing video games or addicted to Netflix/Youtuber... or watching a current sports game.
Women are reacting to that. Because many guy don´t or didn´t the hard work of taking risks, being ambitious, fighting and trying to be themselves in a world that´s probably against them women either saw the chance or felt the need to step up and take the lead.
And that´s what we have now in the west society has changed and is changing in society that is pro-female. I know people might not like that being spoken so clearly but the West has become and is becoming more female orientated. Because there are more boys leaving schools without exams, there are more women going to universities than guys.
Slogans "the future is female"/ "girlboss" / "girlpower" and others leave boys that grow up to guys startled of who they are and who they should be especially many grow without reasonable role-models.
So many guys are intimated and startled they don´t know who they are what they wanna be and who they should but truth to be told: Society doesn´t care because the system is working nevertheless and there are guys that fight through and find a partner.
So the situation is flipping because nowadays women are more likely to be able to be the breadwinners and that´s intimadating to guys hence many guys would think of themselves if they had to be stay at home parents.
Because social spoken a stay at home dad is a simp or a loser and because most guys don´t want to be seen as such they rather stay single.
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This is two questions, "... and more". Not sure what the "and more" is, but as to the first two questions:
Less inclined to marry: Both genders are less inclined to marry. This is a multifactorial situation, some of the factors include that marriage is an antiquated system that provides fewer benefits and more liability, and doesn't hold the traditional appeal now that humanity is more diverse in their perspectives. The increased independence of American women precludes the necessity to legally attach themselves to a man, in order to obtain financial stability. From the American man's perspective, the same thing applies only instead of financial stability, the benefits men saw historically from marriage were status, progeny, and maid services. For both genders, children are becoming less of a requirement/norm as well, as intelligent people recognize the overpopulation issues which are resulting in environmental, socioeconomic, and political impact.
Less inclined to approach face to face: In American culture, there has been a shift and men are now shamed for approaching women, "ogling" women or otherwise showing they are attracted due to unwanted attention. The conundrum for men is a lack of emotional intelligence, meaning they have no idea if their attention is wanted or unwanted until they give it and are met with either acceptance or ridicule, public shaming, or serious social and legal repercussions. It has simply become a case of "the juice isn't worth the squeeze", and ethical men have ceased to act in ways that could in any way possibly be construed as inappropriate. It's not worth the risk of offending someone to find out if she likes you. The irony is that men lacking respect for women continue to behave as before, dismiss negative consequences, and meet with some success from desperate women who believe this is all they can get, while respectful men play the wallflower.
The other factor aside from emotional intelligence is that often the women a man would approach would be someone he could not really read even if he has emotional intelligence, because he is just seeing a beautiful woman across the room. Where previously a man could feel morally sound and appropriate going and attempting to engage her in conversation, now this is seen as a socially inappropriate outrage, and he will likely be met with hostility. For many men, even if half the women he approaches are open and receptive, making half of them angry, scared, annoyed, or otherwise "creeped out" is not worth it. It doesn't feel good, and so it is avoided.
- 681 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Nothing, I don't think.
I think American MEN are the ones who are just falling behind.
Most American men I've met and interacted with are really weakwilled, really weak minded, often limited in life experience, and lack the ability to be responsible or competent.
Not really entirely through their own fault, if they're young. American culture and education is highly white male biased, so if you're a cishet man you're already going to be raised sheltered from most real aspects of life. Most American men are raised to be good workers and good soldiers - do what you're told, when you're told, and don't think.
American men now find themselves less capable than American women, but that's their own fault. Women fought for the right to work and be independent, so we value it.
Men, though. 🤷🏽
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I think the divorce rate makes a lot of people feel like what’s the point, and the amount of people
Unhappily married. A lot of men get fucked in divorce, between having half of half of what’s theirs given to the ex or alimony. Alimony is bs there’s no reason you should have to pay for another grown adults income after y’all aren’t together. Also, a lot of women are unbearable. Bossy, mean, demanding, never satisfied. Not all, but there are some that I absolutely see why men may not wanna get married after being stuck with them for a while
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Several factors have come into play, some of which are directly related to marriage, others not.
To start, probably one of the most fundamental factors is the decline in religiosity and religious observance. Once upon a time marriage was seen - especially in the Christian religion - as a sacrament. The object of the game was "to be fruitful and multiply" so to speak and that was not possible without the sanction of the church.
As times of changed, organized religion has declined as a cultural force. Not unrelated to that, sex outside of marriage - and indeed having children outside of marriage - has become more acceptable. Thus the sanction of the the church is no longer required and society is far less harsh in its judgments on those who live together, have premarital sex and have children out of wedlock.
(Author's note: My girlfriend and I have lived together for over a decade and have three children. Plus I have a son from a one night stand that I had a number of years before I met my girlfriend. Frankly, we are pretty old fashioned and have talked about marriage, but we like the "naturalness" of our relationship. We don't think it is improved by all the "bells and whistles" surrounding a wedding. So we have never gotten married - though you could not tell we are not married if you met us.)
Also, the economic and other cultural factors are at play. Marriage was originally born - in anthropological terms - as a way to protect the woman. In an evolutionary sense, a man could - and for biological reasons wanted to - get as many women pregnant as they could. (Perpetuation of the species and all that.) Yet a woman could only carry one baby at a time. Thus, in evolutionary terms, the male would eventually wander off to find other women to impregnate.
As society evolved and civilization developed the need to protect women became obvious and thus marriage became, in due course, a legal institution. See also marriage licenses and the tax and various other benefits that they confer. (This also protecting the man, too, from other "predatory" males.)
However, as women have obtained more legal rights, gotten an education and better jobs and the like, the economic necessity to protect the female has declined. Frankly, women can make it without men and the legal obligations that men got from marriage have correspondingly lost value. To wit, both sides have lost interest in marriage.
Throw in the advent, starting in the 1960s, of "no fault divorce." This making the breaking of the "marriage contract," in effect, the only contract that government basically will no longer enforce. From the male side then, they get the sex and companionship of marriage without the legal obligations of marriage and women see no point in getting married - though for them it is more a mixed question. (Children born to single mothers tend not to do as well in school and the in the economy. Thus women, wanting instinctively to protect their offspring, tend to be a bit more inclined to marriage.)
To that add the advent of modern birth control methods that make sex outside of marriage "safer," and you get the current situation. This goes up and down with the times - marriage was up, for various reasons, in the 1950s and 1980s and declined in the 1960s and 1970s. However, overall, marriage as an institution is less important than it once was to both men and women and men in particular can now avoid the legal and economic obligations that come with it. Thus, the way things are at present.
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For starters women don't value men other than clowns. "He makes me laugh" "We always have a good time when we go out" "He has the best stories" this is what women seek in men. Entertainment. If a man is not on call to entertain her at her whims he is "boring." What has become known in the culture of most American women as "boring" is what actually drives successful long term realtionships!
Another big one is that American women are conditioned to want a one way relationship. The man is expected to emotionally comfort her and support her, but if the man dares to bring up the subject that he has needs he is met with typical "I'm not your therapist!" Of course they not only expect but demand men are their therapist on call 24/7!
American women typically blame men when they don't get their way. Any misunderstanding is "his fault". For instance the man is expected to respond to texts from the woman immediately, but she never responds. When the man points this out, or any inequity imposed by the woman, "OMG, Why are you so offended?" etc.
Another view of the typical American woman is that she has the "right" to sleep around and that should never be questioned. Then of course when quality men don't want to settle down with her (shocker) she once again blames men.
To sum up many if not most American women are "Narcisssits!" This is not merely a legal problem it is primarily a cultural problem, supported by the legal framework. I mean would you want to marry a woman like this? Yes I know its not all American women, but this is a trend among many if not most!
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We live in a time of populism and "attention" has become a kind commodity/currency. A great number of people thrive on instant gratification and an even greater number of people live their lives lurking in the anonymous corners of the internet dispensing compliments/insults as they see fit. The transition into populist times has created different attitudes and ideas, naturally and many of them impact the way men and women interact.
regarding why men are less likely to marry, from my own perspective and from my friends, I see guys becoming very cautious of women, for 10 friends (close personal friends) 5 of them have been through harsh break ups where theyve come off terribly resulting in 2 of them committing suicide. Of the 10 friends who are still married/together, I only see 2 that are genuinely content.
A lot of people (men and women) have a social media front that makes them appear very desirable but the reality is that they have their flaws/issues, combine this to a generation raised to believe they can do no wrong and you have a situation where people go into a relationship with a self protection mentality.
If you think its bad in the USA, take a moment to think about the situation in China where an only child girl is raised to be the most important part of the family, same as an only child boy, when they grow up they have zero tolerance for anyone else who thinks that they are the most important.
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Its actually a little bit of both.
Yes women have changed but so have men for several reasons.The biggest reason is the change in how they were educated. Back in the 1990's most public schools started altering the way they taught subjects to "close the achievement gap for girls" in getting more of the interested in and successful in learning.
They of course figured out how to do that and girls did in fact start doing better and better. The problem that went unmentioned is that theses new techniques had the opposite effect on boys driving them away from learning and subsequently boys fell thou the floor.
It might be shocking but boys and girl's brains are wired differently to respond to different stimulus as a direct result of evolution's sexual dimorphism. So education strategies and techniques that work well for one sex tend to not work as well for the other.
Regardless the education and skill gab reversed in the following decades leaving women in a very new position of economic superiority and most men having largely fallen off the cliff being against learning.
Unfortunately both men and women are still programed to look for the same features with women for biological reasoning needing men they can look up to to take care of them and their babies.So reversal of educational patterns has been catastrophic to relationships and marriage as nobody is happy women don't have men they can look up to, and most men don't have women at all.
There is also environmental contamination issues lowering testosterone and cultural issues that make things even more difficult and dangerous. But mostly its BigEd teachers and their myopic quest to improve female performance that is responsible.
- 664 opinions shared on Dating topic.
I’ve noticed this problem with your generation and I believe there are a number of factors. It seems a lot of people expect to be approached via dating apps, and some get offended by direct in-person approach. Also, the risk to men was greatly elevated after the “me too” movement basically gave women the power to ruin any man simply by accusing them of harassment. That drives even more people to the dating app approach. And unfortunately, young women are insanely selective on dating apps, especially if they do not expect monogamy.
If you’re a reasonably competitive man you can find someone, especially if you look in traditional circles. If you are willing to wait until you approach your 30s, if you’re stable and not abusive there will be women who want you, although they will have histories with men and many will have children. If you don’t want to wait, have the right skills and are willing to learn a language, there are lots of women in Eastern Europe and parts of southeast Asia who would love to find a normal guy. Western culture is destroying itself from within and the plunging fertility rates resulting from difficulties the young people have in pairing off is part of this. Go east, young man!
- 434 opinions shared on Dating topic.
I don't know if this is even true. Although it could very well be. For sure people get married at an older age, but that doesn't mean less are getting married. With the current generation we don't know the numbers yet. We'll have to wait another 20 years to know how many get married.
If it's true, the Internet, computers, and games are the most likely culprits. If they spend large amounts of time doing those things, they aren't out there meeting women. On top of that, they get all kind of weird ideas from the Internet, from other guys who also spend all their time online instead of the real world. They have unlimited access to porn, which gives even more unrealistic ideas about women. It gives them far too much time comparing themselves to "those guys" in porn, and developing a weird "us and them" attitude.
It's never been easy for guys to approach women. But if they are not out there in the real world with real women, they have no chance at all. Same goes for women for that matter.
- 1.9K opinions shared on Dating topic.
I think the change is in men. The instant gratification that screens have provided to anyone born after 1990 or so makes the long game that traditionally is dating seem even nore deeply confusing than normal to men. We expect there to be an amswer to every question and not only is there, when we look for it there are hundreds of answers instantly availible, many of them conflicting. This is true also of the question "how to get women to sleep with us." The problem here is none of the most satisfying answers end up working out.
And so rather than figure it out men chase other forms of satisfaction (video games or rage politics) which are a bit like the "two wolves" parable, where one of the wolves is capacity for arousal and then other is capacity for rage and so on. The one that dominates always ends up being the one you feed. The answer is, for the most part, what women want is a place in a productive and protected community. Men have a pivotal role in that just for being human. But these days a lot of men have been convinced they should rather live alone in a bunker or cave or whatever. Maybe woman will adapt to tolerate that but it will take time.. -
This is an ugly combination of technology (social media and dating apps), modern feminism, atheism and hypergamy.
To be fair I’ll start of where men are culpable. Men created social media, dating apps, alternative forms of messaging (texting, etc.) which has inadvertently brought out the worst in women. We also pressure women to hook up and some cave to it or even do it to be “equal”. Some women think acting promiscuous like a man is somehow a sign of gender equality and freedom. But again it’s men who usually pressure women to act this way to begin with.
However women are being told to “follow their heart” and indulge any feeling as “their truth” regardless of the consequences. Say for example a woman starts dating a man and for whatever reason she loses interest in him. He likely didn’t do anything fundamentally wrong. It could of been something fickle or completely unrelated to his actions. So she decides to ghost him. She is told my society it’s okay to indulge in her cowardice and selfishness. That’s “her truth”. Whatever pain and frustration that causes the man doesn’t matter.
On a larger scale a man risks a woman doing something extremely shitty while married like her committing adultery and/or physically abusing him. Modern society will take her side in the divorce proceedings. He might lose half his net worth via alimony or even lose custody of his children. That bs scares men. But again women are being told to indulge their worst inclinations as if that is some sort of freedom/feminism bs.
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I like American women, but like with any serious relationship with someone you haven’t known for decades, it’s tough…at times it’s more work than fun. As an American man, it would be a big risk to me to go for a woman who has the potential to be more of a burden than a boon. So it’s not really them as much as how much am I willing to risk and what the outlook of the future is. So climate change has thrown most of the coat lines into flux, aquifers are being pumped dry and massive droughts make wildfires and food insecurity a likely future. The warming oceans mean that storms can more easily form and are more intense, so hurricane season looks rough every year. Coral is basically going extinct because of the acidification of the oceans so fish habitat is being destroyed and if the the ocean food chains collapse than many land food webs will follow. I mean I could go on and on…in the next 25 years we are entering a taurean meteor event that could lead to a meteor striking the earth and basically causing an extinction event. So American women are not really a priority with all of this going on.
- 4.4K opinions shared on Dating topic.
It's a combination of a lot of factors, but the most important ones are that marriage has become a lot more risky for men (half of marriages end in divorce and in most cases it is women who file for divorce, men typically get screwed in divorce court, often lose access to their kids, etc.) and men get less out of marriage today than they used to. Many of the marital benefits men of the past enjoyed are no longer available to men of our generation. As they say, the juice is no longer worth the squeeze for men. I think too many men have seen this play out too many times with their male friends and family members and they are not willing to go through it themselves.
There are other factors as well. Women have obviously changed a lot over the last few decades and don't offer men as much as women of the past did, aside from sex. Sex will always be a motivator for men to want to be with women, but more and more men are no longer willing to make the same sacrifices men of the past did because today's women are unwilling to make the sacrifices women of the past made. But at the same time, casual sex is much easier to get today, so what we are seeing is men who are interested in women for sex and nothing more. In short, women changed the rules and men are no longer willing to play the game.
Yes, men have changed too, but they have changed in response to how women and marriage have changed.
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American women are too male like less female like. Thats not attractive. No pantyhose also shows the learn towards a less elegant feminine look and more bleh homely looking. Low class and raw. Pantyhose are like wax on a paint job. Big diffence. Americans are reversing roles. America is turning its boys into girls and girls into boys and celebrating crossdressing men and butch women. We dont need women to be men we're men we need women to be not us. Hollywood has an anti real man agenda i like having a woman to care for protect that is soft feminine doesn't want to be a guy or guy stuff. I like my wife if i had one to be a gorl to not want to be an mma fighter and get all beat up and make ugly faces. Rhonda rousy is repulsive to me in the romantic way. We already have males and females we dont need to switch the two. And the me too shit omfg just destroyed dating. Women and girls call everything creepy weird or rapy. They are very mean when they reject us they have this disguisted look on their faces that someone likes them. Now no one call leave a love note somewhere and stand putside your window with a guitar now thats stalking. The right areangement is being replaced with the gay arrangement which includes feminist ideas of soft weak men and strong tough women. Yeah we saw soft men in uvalde. Keep that up and see how long america last. China and russia have loterally millions of real make soldiers waiting to be called up and will out um er us and our strong women. Well not women have to make the first move so we men won't get me too'd.
- 618 opinions shared on Dating topic.
No fault divorce and overwhelming bias against men in divorce and family courts.
Unwarranted accusations of sexual harassment ruining men’s lives without the benefit of due process of law.
Rude and entitled women with ridiculous expectations who literally offer nothing in return. - 9.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Women of today are not the women of yesterday. As a woman I respect was saying the other day "younger women today have an aggression that we were not raised with". As a female G@Ger posted the other day "before 1980, women were not given the freedoms to forge thier own life financially. And as a result the utility of a man has been eliminated to a woman". Women don't need to marry. Many women increasingly don't want to marry. As a result men no longer having expectation of "taking care" of women have been left redefine a new role for themselves. And both genders still motivated by evolution find themselves unhappy. Men and women are driven by nature to further thier genes. And I'm NOT taking about sex! I'm talking about having kids. Man cannot live forever. He/she has offspring to continue his/her line. Without it. Our lives have no real meaning.
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Unreasonably high standards of women who really haven't much to offer. Then there's the 80% of the 50% of divorces are instigated by women who end up with half of everything he worked for or his father gave him, plus alimony and plus child support. What'd in it for men to marry these days as women are ruthless znd mercenary at the end of a marriage?
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I feel like the problem is that there is a certain group of men and women have lost the ability and patience to put any effort. So much so that they've developed TERRIBLE judgement of character.
Then we have both sides of men and women who are far too busy accusing the other of foul play and double standards rather than going out and finding someone they can respect and tolerate for more than 2 weeks without "smashing" after the 3rd date.
Hell, men and women shouldn't even be looking to start a romantic relationship, they should be looking to start a FRIENDSHIP first before any meaningful romantic bond can develop naturally.
I've seen enough "feminist" and "MGTOW" garbage to realize that we might be in trouble. -
Well, American women are at a crossroads of sorts.. Have been for the past 50 years.. On one hand they want to be like men, dominant, career driven, not focused on family or relationships til it's not the best time etc.. One the other hand they have this biological drive that they choose to suppress, but is really making them miserable, and unhappy.. Feminist idealogy has hurt American women ultimately, is helping to destroy the relationship with men and make them not so desirable. Not to mention not so easy to talk to.. It's built this sense of entitlement in many women while making them unhappy..
- 523 opinions shared on Dating topic.
The downside of marriage for men is much darker today than it used to be. This article does a good job of explaining that side of it.
But just as important is the fact that the upside of marriage for men is nothing like it used to be. Many of the benefits of marriage for men have disappeared. Women have changed and have demanded that men accept the "new and improved woman" as the standard model, and men are voting with their wallets and spending their money elsewhere.
At some point you have to ask if it's worth it anymore. More and more men are deciding it's not. I think the institution of marriage is pretty much over.
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over the last several decades 3rd and 4th wave feminists have been attacking traditional male behavior calling much of it toxic. so many guys have been walking away from long term relationships.
also hookup culture ruins peoples ability to make long term connections. why would people form lasting relationships if they can get sex for nearly free.
plus outdated relationship and/or parenthood laws also with welfare which favor women more them men. because they were put into effect when women had fewer options to earn income or find stable jobs. so many would often relay on income from their current partner, former partner or government handouts to make ends meet.
but with each generation the so called *gender wage gap* has been shrinking because women are earning degrees at roughly the same rate or higher then men. so they are able to find jobs which can provide them more stable income to support themselves and/or children.
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These days there’s no incentive for getting married. You marry out of love but there’s nothing special about you or your spouse to say you won’t end up another divorced statistic. The courts will always side with women and you lose half your shit. Women don’t want to be taken care of (not that they need it) nowadays. The lack of femininity turns off a lot of men. You become the last person to matter when you start a family. Years later she cheats, takes your money, your possessions (including the house), and your kids and goes live with another man. There’s nothing a man gets out of marriage.
- 3.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.
1. Marriage laws
- Since I make good income and own assets, you best believe I won't marry. Duh. Like I want to buy a house for my ex wife. SMH.
2. Hookup culture
- No hymen, no diamond. I am not the schmuck who is going to buy something that's free.
3. Feminism
- I am the leader and head of household, I don't give a fuck if some other woman someplace else wants to be the head of the household to some cuckold husband but thats not me. A woman who won't submit to me is worthless to me at best.
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