Are women far less approachable today, than they were a decade ago?

Question

The question says it all.

It has been the general opinion of a lot of men, that its far more difficult to approach women now, then it was a decade ago. Earlier, hardly anyone used to complain about not having girlfriends. But today, the situation has apparently become so worse that a lot of men have actually given up on women and going their own way, because they feel women are not approachable at all.

So so you think there is any truth to this? Or are men of today just not charming or suave enough to attract women anymore? On a side note, does this 'change' (if you feel there is a change) influenced by feminism?

Looking forward to interesting answers from both genders!

Theguyoverthere · Accepted Answer

I think it's a mix of things. I'll mention a few things you may or may not have known about. Yes there are "career women" a plenty now. I've been working for female managers for many years. The older people who are in their 40's+ act very bitter about it while people my age and younger aren't even phased by it.

But I think with the way some women have acted and the stories that go around nowadays, boys are growing up are just plain flat out confused. Parents tell their boys to hold the door open for women yet we have all heard about the prude insane girl who flips out about it with the "I can hold the door open on my own!" and this is the type of girl who gives her waiter a hard time and literally finds the most basic situations and turns them into sexist bullshit.

But I don't really think that those types of situations are actually that common. I really think a large part of it is the fact that kids in general are growing up without any social skills. When I was in my lower teens I was talking on the phone with good friends hours upon hours a day. This meant I was really close with my friends. But kids now are growing up with text messaging and social media. This means they're spending their youth not interacting with people. Eye contact is even difficult for kids now. They're so locked into computers and cell phone screens that when they do approach a situation like meeting a girl, they freeze up, The other thing is that by the time a guy does work up the courage, their hopes are so high that they choke and fail.

On the other hand, most girls are not told to take initiative and let guys come to them. We do however have some who are actually growing up and doing so, but not as many as there should be. They're told they're "special" and that a guy will come along. This causes them to stay single and wallflower their way through things and when they are in a relationship, they don't do anything and the guy thinks she's not even interested and moves on.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

blame it on feminism my friend, woman are being indoctrinated with a lot of bullshit in the media. Are woman equal to men, no, do they have the same rights, yes... Woman dont value old fashioned chivalry anymore, if you are friendly, you are weak, if you are caring, you are needy, if you are outgoing, you are clingy... thats how us men are being portrayed daily. I see girls begging for the guy of their dreams, good looking, friendly, etc... and end up with the biggest low lifes you can imagine. Recently I've been dating a single mother, i was nice to her, did romantic stuff, conciderate , all the bs woman want, and look at me now... she destroyed me completely, today i got on anti depressants, or happy pills , just to get over her psyhoctic borderline behaviour. woman aren't woman anymore, thats the problem, all a bunch of GI Janes, craving for the perfect guy, but ending up with bad boys, the biggest summbags you cna imagine. ill go try find a lady in eastern europe, were woman have more traditional values. woman in the western world are to demanding. ... im reading the comments down below and some of the females responding are down to earth, but some are just full of feminst bullshit!!!

Tatiahna · Accepted Answer

Well, nowadays women are actually allowed to say no and I'm not talking about in that coy "tehe, my father wouldn't allow me" or "I'm no harlot" type of way now we're allowed to just straight up say "you're not my type" and we're actually allowed to have a type.
Also, people get married much later now. In 1960 the median age for marriage was 20.3 years old. Now it's 26.1 (I'm 19 now and shocked whenever I hear someone my age is getting married) So less women are in a rush to settle down and also it's not expected of us to. Back then guys had girlfriends in high school maybe through college, but when it came down to it there were girls graduating high school everyday and back then girls were taught to graduate and get married, settle down have some babies ASAP.
Women live much longer now. My great grandmother died at only 42 from a stroke. Back then you got married ASAP and had as many babies as you could before you died unless you were rich in which case you would still have like 5 kids and that was considered a small amount. Now middle classed women are having what like 2-3 kids on average and women with money even LESS and even older. My great grandma died at 42 that's the age at which most business savvy women are JUST deciding to have their first kid.

So I'd say the number 1 reason women are less approachable today than they were in the past is because they're not in a rush to pop out babies anymore. Yes, I would say it has everything to do with feminism, but I don't think that's a bad thing. It's just that women are choosing work over men now (which yeah I would say also attributes to girls dating "bad" guys because they know the guy isn't permanent or anything. It's just a fling) and women are taking control of their own lives. I don't think it has much to do with men not being suave enough just that women have the choice to say no.

BadKitty · Accepted Answer

Men are not charming and suave anymore, and if they are it's because they just want sex. In the past, it was about swooning a female (their character was more notably timid)

Feminism!!! What is 'feminism' it shouldn't even be a term... women want EQUALITY, they don't want to rise above!

Also, people have options today. They are connected by media and social networking. Instead of marrying your high school sweetheart, now its about finding the 'best' out there... people are willing to take the time to find that person and that means not settling down as fast.

jackyct · Accepted Answer

it's easy. men are not what they used to be. they're not even trying to be charming and a gentlemen, and yes us girls still have standarts that men should meet.

girls have a lot of choice when it comes to guys. so we just pick the best or stay single.

also, usually the dudes who wonder why they're single all the time, usually have ridiculous standarts of how a girl should look. simply, they hunt out of their league.

AlwaysBelieving · Answer

No one gender is at fault here. Boths sides have their own "things." These are "the short version" of what I'm thinking.

A decade ago we didn't nearly have the amount of distractions that we have now. Everyone seems to be "in their own little word" whether it be on social media or listening to headphones. I for one make a conscious effort to not be "plugged in" when I'm out in public (I do relapse every now and then). Most people have the metaphoric "feck off" stamped on their forehead.

Let's take men. Men have adapted to the media (I'll just leave it at that). I know, that in the past I didn't have the social skill that it "took" to be what you described as charming. Guys (I'm talking about "good guys" here that know who they are and what they want out of life and aren't clingy / mama's boys or looking for a replacement mom), are out there. I just think they're careful to what "side to show" a woman.

Women OTOH are a little more confused (I may even go as far as to say "vulnerable") by all things that are out there today. Be it by media or other people in their lives that she'll be accepted by a guy. This shows itself by women thinking they need to have the perfect body, face, personality, whatever.

Throw "feminism" into the mix, and there comes a whole "ball of wax" that comes with that one.

normalice · Answer

it's not feminism, it's phones. Or rather, social media more generally. Internet forums and discussion sites (such as this) are like  p*rn  for women. It gives women the false impression that men are more adept at carrying on a conversation than they really are. This gives them higher expectations. Of course, actual  p*rn  does basically the same thing for men - expecting that girls like anal or like to deepthroat...

SandPlanet · Answer

Yes, I think that is the case, to some degree. I think the main reason for this is Social Media and modern mobile devices, as well as people generally having more freedoms in regards of the choices they can make in life.

James0 · Answer

The problem is that now a days people are so socially awkward compared to the days when smartphones didn't exist and social media. If a guy never tried talking to a girl which is a skill he will be basically shorting himself in the foot.

KeepcalmandLARPon · Answer

Its not that women are less approachable but it seems that a lot of guys either don't want someone who isn't a size 2 or the way they approach Women is just too suggestive or seems like they aren't being serious about it

kangy · Answer

It is not about women not being approachable or feminism. I dont know why people keep saying feminism.
Many men these days dont place a lot of emphasis on relationship, they only want sex without strings attached.

Scrambled · Answer

Yip... just look at how many pick up books are out there. You competing against other guys that's why. The bar is a lot higher.

LittleSally · Answer

Just a decade ago? Hmmmmm I think it depends on how you look at it. The technology ruined all semblance of personal communication.

Ihav2fart · Answer

They are not any less approachable. Guys are just more of a bitch today.

Pete5819 · Answer

Women in the city are. All the rest are very approachable.

Annymous8 · Answer

The guys have changed, so we have adapted.

Are women far less approachable today, than they were a decade ago?

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