Are women far less approachable today, than they were a decade ago?

The question says it all.

It has been the general opinion of a lot of men, that its far more difficult to approach women now, then it was a decade ago. Earlier, hardly anyone used to complain about not having girlfriends. But today, the situation has apparently become so worse that a lot of men have actually given up on women and going their own way, because they feel women are not approachable at all.

So so you think there is any truth to this? Or are men of today just not charming or suave enough to attract women anymore? On a side note, does this 'change' (if you feel there is a change) influenced by feminism?

Looking forward to interesting answers from both genders!

  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, nowadays women are actually allowed to say no and I'm not talking about in that coy "tehe, my father wouldn't allow me" or "I'm no harlot" type of way now we're allowed to just straight up say "you're not my type" and we're actually allowed to have a type.
    Also, people get married much later now. In 1960 the median age for marriage was 20.3 years old. Now it's 26.1 (I'm 19 now and shocked whenever I hear someone my age is getting married) So less women are in a rush to settle down and also it's not expected of us to. Back then guys had girlfriends in high school maybe through college, but when it came down to it there were girls graduating high school everyday and back then girls were taught to graduate and get married, settle down have some babies ASAP.
    Women live much longer now. My great grandmother died at only 42 from a stroke. Back then you got married ASAP and had as many babies as you could before you died unless you were rich in which case you would still have like 5 kids and that was considered a small amount. Now middle classed women are having what like 2-3 kids on average and women with money even LESS and even older. My great grandma died at 42 that's the age at which most business savvy women are JUST deciding to have their first kid.

    So I'd say the number 1 reason women are less approachable today than they were in the past is because they're not in a rush to pop out babies anymore. Yes, I would say it has everything to do with feminism, but I don't think that's a bad thing. It's just that women are choosing work over men now (which yeah I would say also attributes to girls dating "bad" guys because they know the guy isn't permanent or anything. It's just a fling) and women are taking control of their own lives. I don't think it has much to do with men not being suave enough just that women have the choice to say no.

    • Well Said!(:

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    • Well yeah and that's why you end up with a lot of girls who are like crap, I'm getting old and there's no men out there! Then they start panicking because their eggs are going bad when they turn 30.
      Then I agree with normalice that these women are so used to online dating that it makes real men seem inferior in comparison. When you're online you can Google and make sure what you're saying is appropriate, you can go back and edit your message, you can tailor the perfect you so I think a lot of these women are out here talking to these "perfect" men and when they meet them/interact with real men it makes them look bad in comparison. I'm actually not innocent in this. I haven't done any online dating, but when I first get with anyone it's definitely mostly texting and instant messaging and less face to fce than it would have been in the past

    • Was about to type this, but you said it better.
      So this exactly.^^

Most Helpful Guy

  • blame it on feminism my friend, woman are being indoctrinated with a lot of bullshit in the media. Are woman equal to men, no, do they have the same rights, yes... Woman dont value old fashioned chivalry anymore, if you are friendly, you are weak, if you are caring, you are needy, if you are outgoing, you are clingy... thats how us men are being portrayed daily. I see girls begging for the guy of their dreams, good looking, friendly, etc... and end up with the biggest low lifes you can imagine. Recently I've been dating a single mother, i was nice to her, did romantic stuff, conciderate , all the bs woman want, and look at me now... she destroyed me completely, today i got on anti depressants, or happy pills , just to get over her psyhoctic borderline behaviour. woman aren't woman anymore, thats the problem, all a bunch of GI Janes, craving for the perfect guy, but ending up with bad boys, the biggest summbags you cna imagine. ill go try find a lady in eastern europe, were woman have more traditional values. woman in the western world are to demanding. ... im reading the comments down below and some of the females responding are down to earth, but some are just full of feminst bullshit!!!

    • My goodness! Your answer is so hard hitting, yet it makes sense. You have just mentioned things as they are, without sugar coating them.

      Sorry to know your current state. Get off those anti=depressants asap. You don't have to stuff your body with medicines for what some worthless woman did to you. Anti-depressants have nasty side effects. Your mind is much more powerful in solving your depression issue.

    • well i think its time to stop sugar coating female behaviour, a lot of the comments on your topic, blame us guys for adapting. i see plently of guys who are single, who are good looking, fun persons, caring and who make wonderfull partners and fathers... woman are ignorant and selfish at most , they think guys dont have feelings to, so the moment you show her how you feel, you are a loser, no other way to put. ill be using the pills to get over my depressive state, to get my act together. If i dont this will turn out bad for me or her, in that matter. she damaged me a lot, yeah well i can say i dated a very beautifull lady for some weeks, but thats not what i want, im not a guy looking for approaval of other men, no im looking for a relationship... not sure about the side effects of happy pills, always better then alcohol... i guess

    • No, just not. Those pills are not really better than alcohol. They're just as bad, but in a different way. Trust me, I'm saying this from personal experience. You may reach a stage where these anti-depressants become like drug addiction, and you can't live without them.

      I myself had been on those meds for a good part of my life /9although the reason was not women). Initially it seemed like they helped, but gradually the side effects started showing themselves. My learning capability slowed down, I used to feel drowsy a lot, and my mind just go dull. My doc acknowledged and reduced the dosage, but it didn't help. She said if I stop them, I may have serious withdrawal symptoms.

      After being on them for over 10 years, December 2013 was the last straw. I simply stopped taking them and was prepared to face the consequences. The withdrawal symptoms were minimum, but I got rid of the nasty side effects. Today, my depression is under control WITHOUT meds.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 7

  • Just a decade ago?
    Hmmmmm I think it depends on how you look at it.
    The technology ruined all semblance of personal communication.

  • Men are not charming and suave anymore, and if they are it's because they just want sex. In the past, it was about swooning a female (their character was more notably timid)

    Feminism!!! What is 'feminism' it shouldn't even be a term... women want EQUALITY, they don't want to rise above!

    Also, people have options today. They are connected by media and social networking. Instead of marrying your high school sweetheart, now its about finding the 'best' out there... people are willing to take the time to find that person and that means not settling down as fast.

    • Good answer! But the bottomline is that now, dating has become much more difficult for men while it has remained more or less the same for women.

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    • Please refrain from getting personal. Its NOT about me. Just a general question I asked, to know people's opinions.

    • OK I'm sorry let me change that "Oh poor men"... suck it up :D

  • it's easy. men are not what they used to be. they're not even trying to be charming and a gentlemen, and yes us girls still have standarts that men should meet.

    girls have a lot of choice when it comes to guys. so we just pick the best or stay single.

    also, usually the dudes who wonder why they're single all the time, usually have ridiculous standarts of how a girl should look. simply, they hunt out of their league.

    • It's not wrong to have standards but what stops most guys are their social skills, now a days I find it more common is people so glued to their smart ohone. I wonder how the next generation will be.

      Some guys actually do try to improve themselves through pick up books and get frustrated when 1+1 doesn't equal 2. I applaud them for trying but how can you learn something when you don't even know what right.

  • Yes, I think that is the case, to some degree. I think the main reason for this is Social Media and modern mobile devices, as well as people generally having more freedoms in regards of the choices they can make in life.

  • Its not that women are less approachable but it seems that a lot of guys either don't want someone who isn't a size 2 or the way they approach Women is just too suggestive or seems like they aren't being serious about it

    • Yeah you're right. But in case of men who wouldn't care bout these and genuinely wan ta relationship with a woman, do you suppose they're too scared to approach her for the fear of rejection? And have women just become a lot more picky and choosy now, compared to a decade ago?

    • It is possible that men are scared of rejecting, I mean who isn't. But I'm not sure if women are more picky or not I'm in the minority who doesn't care about looks so much compared to a great personality.

  • It is not about women not being approachable or feminism. I dont know why people keep saying feminism.
    Many men these days dont place a lot of emphasis on relationship, they only want sex without strings attached.

    • See? There lies the problem. Women 'assume' that guys only want sex, so they dismiss even the guys who just want an honest, emotionally bonding relationship.

    • That is definitely through their own experiences.

  • The guys have changed, so we have adapted.

    • In what way, according to you, have guys 'changed'? You feel the guys of today aren't as attractive or desirable as the guys a decade ago?

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    • @Crazyced

      Yeah, your point is 100% true and valid.

    • Some women might, but others see through their bullshit act.

What Guys Said 6

  • I think it's a mix of things. I'll mention a few things you may or may not have known about. Yes there are "career women" a plenty now. I've been working for female managers for many years. The older people who are in their 40's+ act very bitter about it while people my age and younger aren't even phased by it.

    But I think with the way some women have acted and the stories that go around nowadays, boys are growing up are just plain flat out confused. Parents tell their boys to hold the door open for women yet we have all heard about the prude insane girl who flips out about it with the "I can hold the door open on my own!" and this is the type of girl who gives her waiter a hard time and literally finds the most basic situations and turns them into sexist bullshit.

    But I don't really think that those types of situations are actually that common. I really think a large part of it is the fact that kids in general are growing up without any social skills. When I was in my lower teens I was talking on the phone with good friends hours upon hours a day. This meant I was really close with my friends. But kids now are growing up with text messaging and social media. This means they're spending their youth not interacting with people. Eye contact is even difficult for kids now. They're so locked into computers and cell phone screens that when they do approach a situation like meeting a girl, they freeze up, The other thing is that by the time a guy does work up the courage, their hopes are so high that they choke and fail.

    On the other hand, most girls are not told to take initiative and let guys come to them. We do however have some who are actually growing up and doing so, but not as many as there should be. They're told they're "special" and that a guy will come along. This causes them to stay single and wallflower their way through things and when they are in a relationship, they don't do anything and the guy thinks she's not even interested and moves on.

    • A well thought out and insightful answer! Thank you! :)

    • You're welcome!

    • I have to agree with this. I've been approached by TOO many guys who just plain don't know how to approach a woman unfortunately most don't "freeze up" though, but rather say the stupidest thing on earth like "do you have a boyfriend?" like if I don't know you or anything about you and the FIRST thing you say to me is "do you have a boyfriend?" I'm going to say yes even if I don't because chances are I don't feel like dealing with you. Impress me first. Show me why I should be interested and let's see if we have something in common THEN ask me if I'm single. It takes like 10 minutes at most. Because if you tell most guys that you're single the rest of the conversation leads to a whole bunch of "you wanna date me then?" type questions and you never get to know the actual guy. I think this ties in with my answer as well. People don't beat around the bush anymore they cut to the chase which takes away a lot of the finesse of dating

  • it's not feminism, it's phones. Or rather, social media more generally. Internet forums and discussion sites (such as this) are like p*rn for women. It gives women the false impression that men are more adept at carrying on a conversation than they really are. This gives them higher expectations. Of course, actual p*rn does basically the same thing for men - expecting that girls like anal or like to deepthroat...

    • Oops! now that's hard hitting, but its true nevertheless!

    • I've seen a lot of cases even of girls getting hooked on messaging over online dating to the point where they even lose interest in meeting a guy because they keep getting messages from guys telling them they're "cute" and "pretty" and such and they get addicted.

    • yeah. that's why I don't do "sexting." I'm actually quite good at it, but there is no better way to ensure I will not fuck a girl than to bring her to orgasm via sexting.

  • No one gender is at fault here. Boths sides have their own "things." These are "the short version" of what I'm thinking.

    A decade ago we didn't nearly have the amount of distractions that we have now. Everyone seems to be "in their own little word" whether it be on social media or listening to headphones. I for one make a conscious effort to not be "plugged in" when I'm out in public (I do relapse every now and then). Most people have the metaphoric "feck off" stamped on their forehead.

    Let's take men. Men have adapted to the media (I'll just leave it at that). I know, that in the past I didn't have the social skill that it "took" to be what you described as charming. Guys (I'm talking about "good guys" here that know who they are and what they want out of life and aren't clingy / mama's boys or looking for a replacement mom), are out there. I just think they're careful to what "side to show" a woman.

    Women OTOH are a little more confused (I may even go as far as to say "vulnerable") by all things that are out there today. Be it by media or other people in their lives that she'll be accepted by a guy. This shows itself by women thinking they need to have the perfect body, face, personality, whatever.

    Throw "feminism" into the mix, and there comes a whole "ball of wax" that comes with that one.

  • Yip... just look at how many pick up books are out there. You competing against other guys that's why. The bar is a lot higher.

    • Those pick up books are so cheesy! I don't suppose any man who is capable of getting dates needs to go trough those books. For others, those books would hardly help in picking women up.

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    • You mean to say, you couldn't get dates earlier, but you were able to do that after reading those books?

    • Well... those books made me understand how the game works (and why I am literally a wanker ha ha) But I am with someone, which prevents me from trying out the stuff. I did help me seduce a gorgeous women who I never saw due to my relationship

  • The problem is that now a days people are so socially awkward compared to the days when smartphones didn't exist and social media. If a guy never tried talking to a girl which is a skill he will be basically shorting himself in the foot.

    • In most cases, guys DO try talking to girls. But its just that girls today don't take kindly to guys talking to them unless he happens to be really attractive in her point of view.

    • I forget about the part about TRYING, many people do the wrong thing over and over again thinking they would get different results, and get confused when something worked once that it's guaranteed to work again. Prime example is football, team adept to the situation at hand even though the same problem is to win but to win you got to do so and so first.

      You are right about not taking kindly to guys talking to them but it's something everyone does without much thought.

      Example the way someone is presenting themselves tell you a lot even though these things might not be true. A man dressed in baggy clothes, smells real bad, and has dirty on his face asks you to donate for his clarity, I bet most people would just walk past him without stopping. Same situation a man dressed in a fitted suit, clean shave, and clipboard asks for donations for his charity, more then likely most people would stop and at least hear what the man has to say. examples from my pysch/social class.

  • They are not any less approachable. Guys are just more of a bitch today.