Why are people so pessimistic about me finding a woman that has never had her first love?

[Inthecraphole]

I am 27, and I never had a real girlfriend. I seek a woman who has never had her first love or romantic bonds with a guy before.

You would maybe think there are shy, sheltered girls out there that are decently attractive. I don't know.

I was sheltered a lot myself growing up. I am also an Aspie. Maybe I can find a girl with mild Asperger's like me that has never had a boyfriend? Or one with social anxiety?

Bottom line, I want to find another girl like that. One that has never been close to another guy romantically before.

[coldmarch]

The perspective is indeed pessimistic because even though some worthy girls around your age and with all those requirements exist, they're not many and considering you call yourself "sheltered", if they are too, it will be difficult to find them. Usually there are unpleasant reasons behind that, that might not contribute to a healthy relationship later: a very strong religious view that might clash with yours; Very strong sense of unworthiness; Traumas; Bad looking; Clingy and obsessive, creepy and overcontrolling; etc. I mean, most of girls really do have chances to get experiences if they want, so there must be a (not promising) reason if they rejected them and if they have been rejected so much. Sure, if the cause is a trauma or bad self-convinctions, they can be healed over time in a healthy relationship, but with a guy who has experiences/skills, because you don't fix such stuff with "love", randomly, without being good at managing conflicts, keeping the balance when you get emotively abused, recognizing victimism, setting up healthy communication practices etc. You know, teenagers start having relationships and many of them had no experiences before. Teenage relationships are indeed usually turbulent, toxic, short-term and far away from "stable".
Not just that: sexually, people who had experiences know better themselves and don't have matured taboos and fixations, which could be also a help for you.
Another point is: most likely, the girl you look for lives with parents since ever and is quite controlled by them, so if you get with her you'll have to deal with a family with very strong influence that won't easily make you two go living together *alone* soon.
So, my suggestion is to really consider to remove this requirement of "no experiences".
However, the pro points of finding a person with no experience anyway exist: you live the little things stronger because they're your first times for both, and the girl might get a little more "attached" to you than a girl who had more experiences (because she didn't mature yet a vision of her independence, which is for me a con), but these pros don't really stand up to the cons in my opinion, in your situation at least.
Anyway, to help you with this picky research, I think you have higher chances to find sheltered women in contexts of:
- Schizoid Personality disorder groups/forums (good luck, though, because schizoids are loners and have fear of commitment, I have definitely strong traits of this, and it doesn't help having a relationship);
- Asperger groups/forums;
- Asexual groups/forums (the absolute most of people who call themselves asexual are generally "romantic", so they want a relationship anyway but without sex and this makes them have not much compatibility with potential partners, so might end up with no experiences at adult age);
- Religious groups of some branches that follow the Bible quite literally, or another religion like Islam, where women are supposed to be virgin before marriage;
- Forums for mental health where usually in sections dedicated to romantic life and sex there are several people, female too, claiming they had no experiences at all, and complaining.
- This website, too: I've already spotted some females sometimes writing about that, who have an age around yours. Not sure about their appearance, of course, and neither of their personality and social skills. But they appear sometimes.
- Gaming communities: some sheltered girls have a full online social life in some communities, so this could have leaded them to have at most online distance relationships (if this can be a compromise for you) without even kissing a guy once.
- Any context, but much younger girls than you (if this can be a compromise for you).

[Inthecraphole]

I like younger women anyways. I would say 18+ for sure. You don't think I can easily find a woman 18-21 that has never had a boyfriend or first love before?

[coldmarch]

18-21 is way more likely, yes. I thought you meant girls around your age.
In this case the view is less pessimistic and contexts expand. Still the problem will be if they also like you back, but yeah the age you picked gives a much higher tolerance and you're not necessarily sent to fish into those specific areas of the web I pointed out.
By the way, I saw a girl complaining about having no relationships, 2 days ago, on this website, and she is 19. And I saw several others.
However, as a personal comment I wouldn't recommend to date people who are like 10 years younger especially at this age because there is likely a bigger leap in compatibility and maturity than being 40 and 50 years old for example. I had a story with a guy who was 19 while I was 27 and it was a disaster, I was too far in the life while he had no experiences and was basically hurting me without knowing how to manage a relationship. And I saw similar disasters in other couples as well who had similar age gaps...
But maybe you will be more lucky, who knows, worth trying anyway.

[Inthecraphole]

I know a guy who is 28 and dating a 19 year old girl. They are very compatible.

[Inthecraphole]

... and tbh, I would LOVE to have a young teenage girl as a girlfriend, but I am obviously too old.

[coldmarch]

But why? Compatibility can really get compromised if you "too young", how can this be desiderable? I think maybe since you didn't have experiences you're understimating some aspects, but at the same time probably a teenage girl has your same level of experiences so this could kinda give some compatibility. Not to erase all of your 20+ years, I think you matured anyway during this time, but in some aspects of the social relations you might be in the same place. Just mind that "no experience + no experience" = turbulent messy relationship just like teenagers have, so try going as wise as you can if you really find one who is either too young or has no experiences.

[Inthecraphole]

I so wish I could have a teenage girlfriend. I am attracted to younger girls anyways. I would be in heaven. I still want me and a woman to be each other's first loves.

[Anonymous]

It's not the end of the world man. Hey I worked in old folks home not too long ago and i tell you man there's never any disappointment nor shame in never finding someone. Most of my residents were single and had lived long happy life's with a wife or husband or none.

Stay healthy and chin up my man. There's always other life pleasures like chocolate cake. I should know :)

While still being able to enjoy being fit and some treats like cake :) for morale :)

[boggboss]

Because it so obvious it won't happen what your looking for is super rare in itself but that aside u don't seem like the type of guy thats capable of building a connection with a women so even if u did find it I doubt u would make it work I'm like 95%sure if u stick to how u think u will never find a partner

[Inthecraphole]

You really don't think there is any chance for me? Why do you feel I am not capable of developing a connection?

[boggboss]

Because u have little to no exparaince with women overall especially in the dating aspect

[ChiPaPa]

You got to let go of that You could very well meet someone that is incredible, but had one short or long term relationship before you. That doesn't mean she's damaged goods. Your putting this on a pedestal for no reason.

[Anonymous]

Bad experiences with dating would be one reason. You should look for dating sites that cater to people with Aspergers,